Tag Archives: Couples

IVF Kids Raised By Britain’s First Gay Couple Reveal How They Live Large

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The IVF kids raised by Britain’s first gay dads have revealed their lavish upbringing filled with supercars, huge parties and mansion homes. Millionaire couple Tony and Barrie Drewitt-Barlow made history in 1999 after fathering twins Saffron and Aspen with a surrogate mum in California.

Now, 16 years on, the IVF twins have opened up on their very modern upbringing.

Aspen told the Mail on Sunday how he was given a £110,000 Porsche and a custom-made Rolex by his super-rich parents.

He added: “Dad and Daddy have been incredible fathers. Dad and Daddy say their greatest achievement is having us and I’m proud of them as it wasn’t always easy, although they have shielded us from any negativity. Like all parents they can also be a bit embarrassing at times.

“Daddy is very flamboyant. During school sports days he starts screaming and shouting, making himself the centre of attention. He’s just so gay all the time. “Sometimes it makes me cringe but I love him for it too.”

The family, who have an estimated £38 million fortune, have just moved into a £1.2 million mansion in Princeton, New Jersey.

Barrie and Tony said they moved because their luxurious way of life was rubbing neighbours up the wrong way and faces threats and harassment.

The pair were previously also forced to move the three eldest kids to a private school because of bullying by the parents of their classmates.

Aspen told how he has not missed a mother figure in his life and said he has a “good relationship” with his biological mum.

The pair were treated to an extravagant £24,000 party for their joint 16th birthdays where Saffron wore a $1,100 dress for the occasion. The bash included a marquee, dancefloor, top DJs, a laser show and more than 200 guests.

Aspen was gifted a £110,000 911 Carrera but sniffed at his new Rolex watch claiming it isn’t finished yet.

The kids wardrobes are packed with designers clothes and bags, and Aspen has a huge collection of trainers. But Barrie and Tony don’t think there’s anything wrong with spoiling their kids.

They said: “People say that they’re spoiled brats but every parent wants to indulge their children.”


Cancelled Kano Mass Wedding Leaves Couples Frustrated- Report

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Twenty-two-year-old Inuwa Inuwa and his 16-year-old girlfriend Kaishia Yunusa are in love.

“I met him three years ago when I was 13. Other suitors were coming, but I fell in love with him and now he is the only one,” says Kaishia.

“I liked her because she is very kind and she has a very good upbringing. She upholds the teachings of Islam,” Inuwa says.

Both are from agrarian families in a rural community in Kano state in northern Nigeria. They were supposed to be married last Saturday, but the event was cancelled.

Their families had prepared a wedding banquet. A goat had been slaughtered. Chicken had begun roasting. Bags of rice had been purchased.

“I had already invited my friends and many of them have come from far away places, only to come to Kano to hear that the wedding will not be taking place,” says Inuwa.

About 100 couples were supposed to get married there in a single ceremony organized by a state senator. But political tensions between the state governor and the senator resulted in the event being indefinitely postponed.

To re-enforce the decision, the state police department said it received intelligence that the mass wedding could be a security threat.

Thousands of people were expected to attend, including five governors from other states, according to the organizers.

More than 4,000 women have gotten married in the mass wedding program over the past four years. The government pays all the wedding costs – the venue, traditional bridal gifts, the dowry, food for the guests, furniture for the matrimonial home and even some starter cash for the couple.

The state governor’s administration says it will try to organize a mass wedding as soon as possible. The Sharia board says 10,000 women have already registered. The Sharia board plays a central role as a matchmaker and wedding coordinator. A single man or woman can come to the Sharia board office and look through stacks of photos to find an attractive person. Or a couple who cannot afford a wedding can come to the Sharia board to register to get married.

The Sharia board ensures that the couples are medically screened. Before the mass weddings, health screenings for potential couples was not common.

Read More: voanews

Medical Technology Brings Hope For Sickle Cell Couples

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A medical revolutionary approach to the treatment of the dreaded Sickle Cell Anaemia, has brought hope and succour to sufferers of the disease.

The new treatments called, Pre-Implantation Genetic Diagnosis (PGD) and IVF, will ensure that affected couples will have healthy children, who would not have to contend with it in life.

A world renowned fertility expert, Prof. Oladapo Ashiru, told a gathering of experts and journalists in a lecture he delivered at the 2016 edition of the Institute of Genetic Chemistry and Laboratory Medicine, Bodija, Ibadan, that the new breakthrough in medicine, is a reproductive technology used through IVF to diagnose genetic diseases, such as sickle cell anaemia and autism, in pregnancy or before embryo implantation.

He further disclosed that technology now allows experts to implant a healthy embryo that will not be affected by sickle cell into a female recipient, irrespective of her genotype or that of her husband.

Elaborating on the procedures for PGD, through IVF, Ashiru said: “What we do is to first stimulate the woman to produce many eggs. We then take the eggs, fertilize them with the husband’s sperm and allow them to grow for three days in the laboratory.

‘‘On the third day, we take these embryos and analyze them for any anomalies. If there are 10 embryos, we analyze all of them, based on
that, we know the complete type and make-up of each of each of these embryos.

‘‘We are then able to screen the bad or abnormal embryos and we take the normal embryos and insert back into the woman for fertilization.’’

On the history of the procedure, Ashiru explained that the first successful healthy sickle cell baby free of the traits was delivered in
2013, while his laboratory is currently supervising many of similar procedures.

He, however, disclosed a proviso which is that prospective recipients of the treatment must neither be aged, nor have adverse medical history.

While informing his audience that the technology is also useful for couples with other genetic diseases, who desire healthy off springs, he cautioned that it is costly at about N3, 000,000 and that it’s better for young people to undergo the necessary tests to avoid the risk of marrying people with the genetic disorder.

He said according to available medical statistics, the disease is inherent in one to two per cent of Nigeria population, which is about 15 million.

The chairman of the occasion, Prof. Tope Alonge, who is also the Chief Medical Officer of the University College Hospital, UCH, Ibadan, said the new technology has given a new hope to people living with the disease as it had accounted for much unhappiness and crashed marriages in the past

According to him, ‘‘we preach and caution people so many times against this, but they still fall in love. The technology can now ensure that those with these traits can now produce healthy babies without having to take to the advice of their priests.’’

Credit: Guardian

Best Way To Argue With Your Partner According To Psychologist Who Studied Couples For Decades

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When’s the last time you really got into it with your significant other? After the yelling was done, did your mind swirl with ideas about what you should have said? Or perhaps about what you should not have said?

Here’s the good news: Not only can you most likely rectify the situation, but also knowing how to approach the argument next time can mean you and your partner have a more productive — and perhaps less volatile — “discussion.”

Productive arguments, in fact, are one of the things that appear to distinguish couples who stay together from those who split, according to research from several psychologists, including University of Washington psychology professor John Gottman, founder of the Gottman Institute, an organization dedicated to studying and improving relationships.

Together with University of California at Berkeley psychologist Robert Levenson, Gottman conducted a 14-year study of 79 married couples living across the US Midwest.

Among the couples they studied, 21 ended up divorcing over the more than decade-long period. But among those who stuck it out, Gottman and Levenson noticed some key things about their relationships, including how they fought. Here are some of the key takeaways:

How couples who stay together argue

1. They stabilize a rocking boat.

Among the couples who split, the vast majority took far longer to address a recent argument than those who stayed together, often leaving each other to stew in individual thoughts for hours or days after a fight, Gottman told Business Insider. Conversely, couples who stayed together would typically discuss their arguments almost immediately after they’d happened.

Picture yourself and your partner in a boat, Gottman suggested. Now imagine that the emotions you and your partner are feeling are represented by the sea around you. A small argument stirs the waters a bit and gets the boat rocking. But a quick effort to stabilize the boat — with an open conversation or an apology — can be all that’s required to get you back to smooth sailing.

Waiting around, on the other hand, only strengthens the waves. And waiting too long, he said, can lead to disaster.

To calm a rocking boat, Gottman suggests you and your partner talk immediately and openly about what just happened. This requires recognizing that both of you are partially responsible for the problem and both of you are responsible for making amends.

2. They allow the other person to be heard.

Another characteristic of couples who later divorced that Gottman observed is that they’d frequently cut off discussions about a conflict prematurely with unhelpful, insensitive comments. But strong couples tended to consistently approach one another with an open mind, taking responsibility for their actions and listening to what their partner had to say.

So if, in the middle of an argument, you stop your partner to them they’re being illogical, you’re probably doing it wrong.

“If you tell someone they’re not being logical or say something like ‘you’re getting off track,’ it just doesn’t work. It makes people angry,” said Gottman. Instead, saying something like: “I can see that this is really important to you; tell me more” allows the other person to feel heard.

Credit: BusinessInsider

20 Secrets Of Happily Married Couples

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Never Go to Bed Angry
“When we were first married, somebody gave us this advice: Never go to bed angry. It’s an oldie but goodie, and we have passed it along to others. Whatever is bothering us, we talk it out before we go to sleep so each day, we wake up with a clean slate and a fresh perspective. Saying ‘yes dear’ a lot doesn’t hurt either!” –Johanna and Brian, married 11 years

Don’t Keep Score
“When you see that something is really important to your spouse, it’s not losing or giving in to let them have their way. It is caring enough about another’s feelings to support and honor what is important to them. You will find if you compromise some of the time and they compromise some of the time, everybody wins.” –Julie and Billy, married 10 years

Learn Each Other’s Argument Style
“We tend to approach conflict resolution differently. Steve is not a talker; whatever the issue, his healing process is simply the passage of time. For me, the more time that passes without discussion, the more whatever it is escalates. After 29 years, we have learned to meet somewhere in the middle by addressing the problem with conversation but not beating a dead horse. Don’t get me wrong. I can beat it to death, but once it is down for the count, we’re done. Enough said.” –Marcie and Steve, married 29 years

Forgive and Forget
“Learning how to fight has been key. Not holding a grudge makes for a happy marriage. When we argue, we duke it out verbally, then kiss and make up, usually with a shot of tequila — maybe two shots depending on the severity of the disagreement. Then we move on like nothing ever happened. It works every time! It’s important to keep moving forward and not dwell on garbage from the past. So the key to a long and happy married life: A bad memory!” –Donna and Jay, married 42 years

Don’t Be Afraid to Speak Your Mind
“We live in a ‘free speech’ zone. When you trust that someone loves you and is committed to you, it gives you the freedom to speak your mind. Nobody is walking out the door simply because you have something to say that is difficult or unpleasant to hear. That said, we try to be truthful, not hurtful. Even in the heat of an argument, think before you speak. Never say anything you can’t take back!”–Susie and Jerry, married 30 years

Don’t Take It Personally 
“Though we share core values, we have such different personalities that Andy’s mother suggested we take the Myers-Briggs personality test early in our marriage to help us understand one another. The test helped us realize we are polar opposites about many things, and when we disagreed on issues, it was not that either one of us was trying to be difficult; we are just hardwired differently. We’ve had to learn to respect each other and be tolerant of our differences.” –Karen and Andy, married 31 years

Never Lose Your Sense of Humor
“Sense of humor is imperative — don’t leave the wedding venue without it. Apart from health and the welfare of our children, there is no situation that cannot be improved with a generous helping of laughter. It really is the best medicine. It’s okay to fight when you have to, but make sure you always leave ’em laughing!” –Susie and Jerry 30 years

Sometimes, Silence is Golden
“If you want to be happy for the rest of your marriage, never give your spouse advice on the golf course/tennis court/whatever sport or activity you are doing together. Never. Unless you want a really silent ride home.” –Jerry and Susie, married 30 years

Play by the Rules 
“In our house, there are rules. Some are silly — for example, there must always be walkways. Translation: Don’t put your stuff in my way. Shoes must find their way into the closet, or one day you might come home to find a masking tape arrow laid out on the floor pointing the way. There are other rules that are more serious. When something bothers you, speak up. There’s no loss of power in saying ‘I was wrong. I’m sorry.’ It’s hard to stay mad at someone who apologizes. Relationship before ego.” –Cindy and Terry, married 38 years

Stay True to Your Core Values
“What we’ve told the kids is that if you have shared core values, you’ll be approaching things from the same perspective. Marriage is a marathon, not a sprint and every marriage has its ups and downs. But when you have a meeting of the minds on the big issues, you know you will united in your approach to solutions. And he travels a lot, which helps!” –Karen and Andy 31 years

Equal Division of Labor
“We have an inside manager and an outside manager. The other serves as an apprentice in our respective domains. Whoever cooks doesn’t clean up. One grocery shops; the other does the laundry. We have learned over the years to never complain about the job the other does. Shrink my best sweater? No problem, I can buy a new one. Botch a recipe? No problem, we can order in. We tend to laugh at our mistakes. Attitude is everything.” –Cindy and Terry, married 38 years

“Me” Time for Everybody 
“We take our “me” time seriously, and though it may not work for everybody, it works for us. Absence makes our hearts grow fonder. Take a lot of vacations…separately. Develop a lot of hobbies and enjoy them….separately.” –Mary and Eric, married 42 years

Embrace Your Individuality
Don’t look to your spouse to save you or complete you. Be your own person, and be true to yourself. Never use the words “We think!” Don’t change who you are to accommodate another person. In the long run, it will only make you miserable.” –Cheryl and Mark, married 38 years

Friendship First, Last, and Always 
“You can’t have a successful marriage without friendship. Over 30 years ago, we became really good friends. We hung out with each other’s group of friends and we became really close. After about a year and a half, we started to add romance into the mix and became serious. 30 married years later, we are still best friends who are always honest with each other and loyal to each other.”–Max and Kathy, married 30 years

Unplug to Reconnect
“Listening to each other and really being present when you spend time together is essential. Be tuned in, not tuned out. If you are trying have a conversation, both parties need to put down the phone or ipad, turn off the TV, and really pay attention to each other.” –Julie and Billy, married 10 years

Keep the Sizzle Sizzling (or the Sizzle from Fizzling) 
While we were submerged in raising a family with all the pulls and tugs on the relationship that entails, it was easy to feel disconnected at times. So, we would create special moments to regroup and reboot the romance. We would take a fabulous vacation or a plan a mini getaway and if neither were possible, we would make sure to get a sitter and plan a date night just for the two of us. ” –Marsha and Alan, married 44 years

Just the Two of Us
“The secret for us was to start our life together away from all parents. We faced the marriage challenge on our own, carving our own space and growing into being our own family. We had no choice at the time, but the result was that it gave us a healthy foundation for the long term. If you live in a city with one or both sets of parents, make sure to set boundaries early on and don’t let either family interfere with your alone time or your decision making process as a couple.” –Beryl and Jack, married 45 years

For Every Love, There is a Season 
“It is so important to recognize and accept the changes in the cycle of love. ‘Passionate love’ for the just-marrieds. ‘Reality love’ when the marriage becomes routine. ‘Sharing and nurturing others love’ while raising children. ‘Reconnecting with mature love’ when the nest becomes empty. No relationship can remain static; change is inevitable. The secret to maintaining a fulfilling, happy marriage is for both parties to learn to adapt to those changes so that you can continue to grow together instead of apart. Otherwise, your marriage will become a dinosaur — doomed to extinction.” –Rita and Steve, married 48 years

Be Your Partner’s Biggest Cheerleader
“The biggest secret to any marriage is to care for your spouse more than you care for yourself. That’s how you take care of each other. You watch each other’s backs. You take his side and he takes yours. When you are a strong team and present a united front, you can handle anything. You are each other’s person.” –Shirleen and Sandy, married 62 years

Make Every Day Count
“We respect each other, love each other, care for each other every day of our lives, and cherish every day we have together.” –Max and Irene, married 65 years

Credit: HuffPost

Science Prescribes Exactly How Often Couples Should Be Having Sex

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When you think of a deliriously happy couple, you might assume they’re having sex every waking moment. But according to a new study, it turns out that many satisfied couples spend most nights reading in their pajamas instead.

Researchers at the University of Toronto collected data from surveys of 30,000 Americans over the past 40 years to see if happy couples have more or less sex than unhappy ones. Their results, published in the journal Social Psychological and Personality Science, revealed there’s a sweet spot for happy couples everywhere, and that’s having sex once a week.

They found that more sex meant more happiness, but there was a limit to the connection, and that was the once-a-week mark. This was the case regardless of age, gender, or length of a relationship. But this was only for people in relationships; for single people, there was no link between frequency of sex and general happiness.

Why does satisfaction drop off after once a week? It remains unclear, but the study authors write that couples might feel satisfied if they’re having the amount of sex they think is “average” for couples like them. Previous studies have found that people tend to report they have sex approximately, yep, once a week, so couples who do it that often probably feel pretty good about themselves.

Overall, the researchers say their results shouldn’t be a prescription for more or less sex, but a reason to have a conversation with your partner and see if you’re meeting each other’s needs in the bedroom.

“Our findings suggest that it’s important to maintain an intimate connection with your partner, but you don’t need to have sex everyday as long as you’re maintaining that connection,” researcher Amy Muise said in a statement. “It’s important to maintain an intimate connection with your partner without putting too much pressure on engaging in sex as frequently as possible.”

Cosmopolitan