Tag Archives: Ask

Police Ask Married Katsina Minor To Return Home

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The Katsina State Police Command has asked Habiba Isa, the 14-year-old girl who was allegedly coverted to Islam and forced into marriage, to return to her parents’ house.The command maintained that at her age, she was too young to take any decision on marriage and religion.

The state police commissioner, Usman Abdullahi, gave the advice at a press conference in Katsina on Monday, while explainig the police’s position on the development.

The commissioner also said the command was not aware of any marriage between Isa and her alleged abductor, Jamilu Lawal.

Abdullahi said the police became aware of the matter last month (September) after a petition was submitted at the command headquarters by a legal chamber, Bawa, Bawa &Partners, which accused Lawal of abduction and forced marriage.

The petition was said to have been written by the chamber on behalf of Isa’s parents.

The Commissioner of Police said the command thereafter invited Lawal, adding that investigation into the case absolved him of any criminal act.

He added that the command had no choice, but to release him on bail.

Abdullahi said,  “It was gathered that the girl was neither “kidnapped, abducted nor procured,” as she was the one who willingly left her parents’ house to the house of the Chairman of Hisbah, who took her to their village head and later to the district head of Kankara, where she explained that she had converted to Islam.

“This was contained in the statement she gave willingly to the police. It was on this note that the suspect (Lawal) was released since the case of alleged kidnapping and abduction could not be established against him.”

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http://punchng.com/police-ask-married-katsina-minor-return-home/

5 Questions To Ask That Divorced Guy You’re Dating

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Are you comfortable talking about your divorce?

A man who completely avoids the topic or shows “significant discomfort” talking about his divorce may still be emotionally invested or, at the very least, has some serious tension about the topic, Cilona says. And that’s a red flag. It shows that he has an unhealthy connection to his previous marriage and/or spouse, which could be trouble for your future.

Do you want to get married again?

You might assume that since he’s been married before, he wouldn’t have any issues hitching up again, but as Durvasula points out, that’s not always the case. “Some may not want to get married again after experiencing it once,” she says. It’s important to determine where your guy stands on the issue, and how it aligns with where you see your future going.

Do you believe that you can spend your life with someone?

Even if neither of you is interested in marriage, it’s a good idea to find out whether he thinks two people can be together for the long haul—ring or no ring. Think: Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell. He may not want to legally commit again, but could be completely open to the idea of a forever-commitment or living together. “Plenty of divorced folks believe in love and commitment as much as anyone,” Durvasula says. If your guy no longer thinks that two people can be in a loving, committed relationship, that’s a red flag.

Did you want the divorce?

According to Stanford University research, 70 percent of divorces are initiated by women. And, while your guy may not have initiated the divorce, it’s good to find out if he wanted it. “You want to suss out that he is not still pining for his old life,” Durvasula says. “You also want to find out if he is still holding a torch for his ex.” Granted, it’s possible he didn’t want the divorce but he’s since moved on. However, his answer to the question can provide clues as to whether that’s the case.

How do you feel about your ex?

Not everyone can speak highly about their ex (kudos to Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck), but if he’s super bitter or angry about her, that could be a sign that he’s still emotionally invested in the relationship, Durvasula says.

Other bad signs: Your guy puts the blame for the demise of his marriage on his ex, or says he’s learned gross generalized lessons about women or marriage based on his experience, Cilona says. “No matter what the situation, each partner has accountability and contributes in some ways to the relationship and dissolution of the marriage,” he points out.

Above all, keep this in mind: Divorce can be a very healthy thing. “Staying in a broken relationship is not honorable, and many people grow from them,” Durvasula says. “But you do need to ask these questions to decide if you would be OK with being spouse number two if it came down to that.”

Credit: womenshealthmag

Messages From ISIS Territory Ask For Forgiveness For Murder

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Correspondence, provided to The Intercept and Al Jazeera, was sent to a religious scholar living in Jordan who has been associated with radical groups in the past, but is critical of ISIS. The messages come from people in ISIL-held territory, both members of the group and civilians, who are seeking his religious advice. Seeking advice from religious figures is common in the Muslim world, but the recipient of these messages in particularly respected among ultra-conservative Muslims in Iraq, Syria and Jordan.

The religious figure is not named here in order to protect his legal status in Jordan.

The advice seekers are unrelated: one is an ISIS fighter in Fallujah, and the other is a Sunni Muslim civilian living in Mosul.

The correspondence took place from early June to mid August, and coincided with major events in those cities reported by international media – including the Iraqi government’s offensive to retake Fallujah and the increasing pressure on the inhabitants of Mosul in preparation for the operation.

“The battle for Fallujah was a success in that it ended with ISIS driven out and a government established that had representation from the local Sunni community,” says Nathaniel Rabkin, managing editor of the political risk publication Inside Iraq Politics.

“Having said that, there was a lot of ugliness associated with the campaign, including damage to infrastructure and allegations of abuses by Shia militia groups.”

Read More: aljazeera

Questions A Guy Wants You To Ask On A First Date

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1. Ask him, “If you could be doing anything humanly possible right now, what would it be?” It’s always good to have a few icebreaker questions on standby. Go for original, absurd and goofy, or thought-provoking. If he says, “I’d still rather be here with you!” dump his cheesy ass.

2. Ask him where he sees himself in five years. All too often, first dates are about the “now.” What do you do for a living? Where do you live? Instead, ask him where he wants to be. Most Millennials aren’t working their dream job or even working in the field they’ll end up in for most of their life, anyway.

3. Ask anything that lets him show off. Please, just … throw him a bone. Anytime he says something that sounds like a humblebrag, follow up on it. That’s what he wants. By no means let him dominate the conversation, but, when it’s his turn to talk, if he’s giving you very clear hints about things he’s proud of, do the man a favor and ask him about it.

4. Ask, “What’s your perfect date?” Secretly, he’s dying inside for you to ask this, so he can tell you. That way, you’ve got a great second date idea, and he doesn’t have to plan it.

5. Ask for major turn-offs and pet peeves. This is a question that’s potentially frightening to ask and could score you some offensive answers. But if you both share your ultimate deal breakers off the top, it could save you some time. Some of those don’t rear their heads until it’s way too late.

6. Ask him if he’s as nervous as you are. First dates are nerve-wracking for a lot of people. Unless you’re incredibly confident or a sociopath (is there a difference?), you’re probably a little freaked out. Plus, this is 2016 … there’s a good chance this is your first time even meeting your date in person. Acknowledging that can help put both of you at ease.

7. Ask if he wants to have sex. So you know what you are in for. Being honest about this will go a long way even before the relationship starts.

8. Ask him to tell his favorite joke. This is incredibly telling. Even if he doesn’t have a favorite joke, that says a lot. Maybe it’s corny or pun-based or it’s an anti-joke, but you’ll know if you’ve got similar senses of humor. And if you have to push him to tell it because he’s embarrassed, you know it’s going to be good.

9. Ask if he wants to split the check. No, chivalry isn’t dead, but who doesn’t really want to split the check deep down? What does paying for the whole meal really show? If you’ve asked him every awkward question on this list, he’s probably earned it.

Credit: cosmopolitan

7 Questions You Should Ask on a First Date

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1. What are some of your hobbies?

This will help you see what things your date finds fun and interesting. Your date may spend a lot of time on these hobbies, and if you get serious, may want to involve you in these activities.

2. How did you choose your career?

Most people have interesting stories to tell about how they landed on their chosen career path. A discussion about careers may help you learn more about their motivations and work ethic.

3. What are you most passionate about?

Your date’s passion will be where much of his or her time and energy is spent.

4. What are some of the goals on your bucket list?

This can provide some insight into areas of your date’s life that have yet to be explored.

5. How long ago was your last serious relationship?

The timing may show you whether your date is ready to begin another relationship. If it was very recent, you may want to explore why he or she is dating so soon.

6. What was the reason your last relationship didn’t work out?

Also ask who initiated the break-up and why. This may give you some insight into how he or she handles conflict and what they find important in a relationship. In addition, how was the news delivered? If your future partner says it was via text, email, or worse — social media — you may want to proceed with caution. Someone that insensitive will likely treat you the same.

7. What’s your biggest relationship regret?

Did he or she wish they spent more time with their ex? Did they fight all the time? Ask what your date would have done differently.

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http://www.cheatsheet.com/health-fitness/questions-you-should-ask-on-a-first-date.html/3/

Reps Ask EFCC, ICPC To Probe Bala, Others Over Land Swap

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The House of Representatives yesterday asked the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) and the Independent Corrupt Practices and other related offences Commission (ICPC) to investigate the former FCT Minister, Bala Mohammed, to examine the likely abuse of financial regulations in the land swap policy he introduced while in office.
Also to be probed alongside Bala are the Executive Secretary of the Federal Capital Development Authority (FCDA), Engr Adamu Ismaila and the coordinator, Abuja Infrastructure Investment Center (AIIC), Mr Faruk Sani, to ascertain their culpability or otherwise in the abuse of financial regulations, due process and other regulations regarding the land swap program.

The House took the decision after adopting the report of its committee on the FCT chaired by Rep Herman Hembe (APC, Benue).
The committee, which investigated the matter earlier this month, laid its report on Tuesday, containing 10 recommendations.
The House also asked relevant security and law enforcement agencies to investigate and track all monies expended outside the laid down financial guidelines for the program, particularly, monies paid to the FCTA Land Swap Programme Account with the FCMB Plc, and the private personal account of Mustafa Usman Kaoje, the Accountant of AIIC and any other official of FCTA and AIIC.
Credit: Dailytrust

20 Questions You Should Ask Your Partner Before Having Kids

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1. What happens if I can’t get pregnant right away? You may want to look into adoption the moment you hit the year-of-trying-without-success mark. He, on the other hand, may expect to pursue every single fertility treatment to get a biological child, no matter the cost. You obviously want to discuss — and ideally get on the same page on — these difficult but major decisions.

2. How are we supporting this child? Maybe you’ve both always worked but one of you hopes to stay at home when the baby comes. Two people plus a needy little person living on one salary calls for serious sacrifices, from living in a cheaper area to draining your savings. You’ve got to figure out if those are worth making.

3. If pregnancy screening reveals our baby has disabilities, what do we do? The vast majority of babies are just fine, but what happens if a test during pregnancy reveals an abnormality? Would you consider terminating the pregnancy? If you decide to have the baby, can you financially and mentally handle caring for a child with a medical condition? Figuring out how you would handle this extremely sensitive situation could preserve your sanity — and relationship — if you’re faced with it.

4. What kind of childcare will we use? If you both want or need jobs, leaving your baby with your retired mom might seem like a no-brainer. But is your husband hoping his mother would do the honors instead? Or is family too far away, so you’ll need a nanny or daycare? You gotta know what’s feasible, because the answer will likely need to become a new line item on your budget.

5. How are we going to split parenting duties? Waiting until you haven’t slept in six days to divvy up who’s gonna do what is a horrible idea. So, beforehand, go over hypotheticals like: If you’re nursing, can he change all the diapers? If you go the formula route, do you take every other bottle, or divide the day into childcare shifts?

6. How much religion will be in our kid’s life — and which one(s)? Just because your partner didn’t protest your childhood pastor officiating your wedding doesn’t mean he’ll be as blasé about his kid’s upbringing. Touch base on birth rituals (Baptism? Bris?), weekly worship, and celebrating holidays. If you practice different religions, plot out how you’ll explain your individual beliefs without slamming the other side.

7. Will we circumcise? If you’re having a boy, you’ll need to address this hot-button topic. A lot of dads want their sons to look just like them. Others want just the opposite, because it’s what they would have preferred had they been able to make the call for themselves. You can’t know what he expects until you ask, and there’s not much time to debate once the baby arrives — and has a penis.

8. Where are we raising our kids? One of you may want to trade the city for the suburbs before welcoming a kid. You both may want to live closer to one or both of your families once you start your own. (Or farther away — see no. 9.) No time like the present to ensure you’re seeing eye-to-eye on these quandaries.

9. How much help do we want, for how long, and from whom? Eager grandparents who want to move in for eight weeks to change every diaper can be a blessing or a curse. Decide how you much you’d want the help of either set of parents — before they start requesting off from work.

10. What are your name deal breakers? He may have his heart set on his son being His Exact Name Jr., while you think any child you push out should bear your last name. The goal is to lovingly compromise, of course — especially because no one wants to have that fight in the hospital.

11. What kind of delivery do we want? A home birth in a tub may sound dreamy, but if he saw how it can all go to shit on Girls, it may be hospital or bust for any wife and child of his. Do your research, and present your case. Wherever you give birth, if the thought of seeing your in-laws while you’re in labor makes you want to remain childless forever, your husband needs to (politely) explain your wishes before grandparents barge in.

12. How do you feel about kids sleeping in our room — or bed? If you’re firmly against opening the bedroom door to kids and your partner’s on the fence about it, better to hash that out before you’re both desperate to get some rest.

13. Who will be our kid’s guardian should something happen to us? You may not want to think about the possibility, but securing your child’s future in writing will offer peace of mind.

14. How strict are we going to be? Kids learn from a shockingly early age which parent to ask to get their way. Chat about how tough a stance you’ll take on screen time, sugary treats, and all other kid vices — and how you’ll work to maintain a united front.

15. How will we discipline our kid? Discuss the tactics you’re OK with — and the ones you absolutely won’t use. For instance, the time to learn that your spouse thinks spanking is acceptable is not when your child’s belly-down on his lap.

16. Will we send our child to public or private school? The reason to have this talk sooner rather than later? It affects where you live and every single expense, because as your student loans never stop reminding you: Paying for education is freaking expensive.

17. How organic/vegan/earth-friendly are we going to go? Breast milk, cloth diapers, and growing and blending your own baby food is just the beginning. If it’s important to one of you, it needs to be important to the other too. But if becoming an organic farmer isn’t as important as being a sane mom, tell him where you stand.

18. We’re going to follow our pediatrician’s recommendations for immunization, right? OK, this isn’t even a question. Just do it.

19. How will we handle any kind of coming out? Might I suggest with love and acceptance? But even if you know the father of your kids will love them unconditionally, if he’s got older relatives who will shun a gay or trans grandkid, get on the same page about how you’d respond to that.

20. How will we keep our relationship strong? It’s effing impossible to be a happy parent if you’re on -edge (OK, maybe even miserable), because you and your partner are passing ships in the night, teaming up only to tackle spit-up, dirty diapers, and feedings. In the midst of acclimating to this whole parenting thing, you still need to have adult conversations — and some sex every now and again — to stay happily married. Tackle how you’ll keep the spark alive, whether through monthly date nights, a yearly weekend (or week!) away, or just an hour a day after bedtime for kid-free talk.

Credit: Cosmopolitan

Tell EFCC To Leave Tompolo Alone, Ex-militants Beg Buhari

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Former Niger Delta militants, weekend, urged President Muhammadu Buhari to prevail on the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission, EFCC, to leave ex-militant leader, Government Ekpemupolo, alias Tompolo, alone and follow the rule of law in its dealings with him. The erstwhile agitators, who met under the auspices of the Transformed Niger Delta Ex-militants Forum, asserted that some persons, who were envious of Tompolo, wrote a petition against him to the EFCC, but advised that the commission in the discharge of its duties should respect the rule of law.

In a communiqué signed by its national president, Meshach Bebenimibo and others, they said, “We appeal to the President as a matter of urgency to instruct the EFCC to follow due process within 1999 Constitution as amended.” At the meeting held in Warri were Prince Bebenimibo, Bayelsa , Edo, Cross River, Rivers, Akwa Ibom and Ondo coordinators of the group, Peter Ayeebide, Austin Peremobowei, Korebor Minama, Anthony Youbai, Oluwah Michael and Oloye Tamarayende.

They said: “We want EFCC to leave Tompolo alone because the petitioners are acting out of jealousy to indict and incarcerate him, that is why they are lying to the whole world that Tompolo sold the land for the building of Nigerian Maritime University, NMU, Okerenkoko.”

According to the communiqué, “The petitioners know the truth and the truth is that Tompolo only sold the International Diving Institute buildings at Kurutie community and the place was sand filled before he built the school. Among the structures are lecture halls, multipurpose pavilion, administrative block, vice- chancellor’s lodge and hostels for male and female students.”

“The previous government brought valuers and did all necessary legal things and collected VAT money before paying him about 90 per cent as agreed.

“We also urge EFCC to have a rethink and defreeze Mieka and GlobalWest accounts.” The group, however, commended President Buhari for his interest in the region, particularly the inclusion of fund for the Amnesty programme in the 2016 Budget presented to the National Assembly, saying, “We really appreciate your kind gesture.”

Credit: Vanguard

5 Questions To Ask Before You Fall In Love

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#1 What type of trail does she leave behind?

Does she leave a trail of negative or positive outcomes? Did her past relationships fail due to her actions? Does she still have a good relationship with previous employers or did she leave in a negative way?

Don’t get me wrong: people can change. The problem is most don’t. Most people have previous relationships that didn’t work out. There is usually a pattern, and patterns typically continue to happen. So if she cheated on someone else with you, don’t be surprised if she cheats on you in the future. If she settled for her past relationship and left as soon as something better came along, take notice.

Looking back, I could have assured myself that my wife was the one. She had previous relationships, but not very many. The few she had were relatively long-term and they all ended peacefully. She had a pattern of only dating if she was serious about a relationship. She also had strong relationships with all of her former employers, which showed me she left on good terms. This also showed me she didn’t create a lot of drama.

Study her past for a glimpse into her future.

#2 Who does she spend time with?

I believe with all my heart that I can predict your future simply by seeing who you choose to spend time with. Understand that you are not going to like all her friends and they aren’t all going to like you. Don’t judge her based on one or two of her friends. Judge based upon the actions of the majority of her friends.

If all her friends are boring, make sure you are okay with boring. If all her friends are partiers, make sure you are okay with partying. If all her friends run around on their boyfriends, be careful. If all her friends are focused on their futures, odds are she will be as well.

My wife had friends that I enjoyed being around. (She still does.) I love to laugh, and her friends always seemed to have a good time. When we met, my wife’s friends were all in college working toward brighter futures. There were lines that most of her friends wouldn’t cross, and that was appealing to me.
Take a look at who she chooses to spend time with and it will give you a clue as to who she will become.

#3 Is she focused on herself or others?

This gets to the core of who she is as a person. Does she have compassion? Is she forgiving of others or overly judgmental? Is it always about her? In order for relationships to work, the people involved cannot be selfish. Selfishness is the seed that blooms into action. Selfish action eventually causes most relationships to fail.
Tough times will come. If she’s selfish, she is more likely to quit than to try to work things out when the tough times come. Again, tough times will come. Be prepared.

My wife has always loved kids. She worked at a juvenile detention center when we first started dating because she loved helping kids that had not seen much compassion in their lives. Looking back, this should have assured me that she would support me when I made mistakes. It proved we had a similar desire to help others.

If she is focused on others, she will likely do the same in your relationship.

#4 Opposites may attract, but similarities make them stay

How similar are you? Do you share similar beliefs spiritually or politically? These beliefs usually strengthen over time. This means any divide between you could grow wider and cause friction.
Are you similar physically? If you’re 100 pounds overweight, don’t expect the yoga instructor to stay interested over time. Do you have a similar vision of your future? If she wants kids and you don’t, you will eventually have a problem.

When my wife and I were dating, we talked about everything. There were areas we disagreed about, but for the most part we had the same beliefs and were in similar physical condition. We shared a common vision of what our marriage would look like in the future. These similarities have helped us grow closer while other married friends who were not similar drifted apart.

It is exciting to date someone who is completely opposite of you. Just understand that that excitement will eventually wear off.

#5 Does she inspire you to be a better man?

Have you thought about changing some things you’ve always done? Are you more focused on your future since you started dating her? Are you more health-conscious, goal-oriented, or motivated to be a better man because of her?

My wife is my most trusted adviser and personal cheerleader. She encourages me when I need encouragement and gives me a kick in the pants when it’s needed. It hurts when I disappoint her because I want to be the best I can be for her. She inspires me and makes me strive to grow in all areas of my life.

If she inspires you to be a better man, then she just might be the one.

Credit: HuffPost

4 Questions To Ask Yourself If Your New Boyfriend Doesn’t Seem Over His Ex

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1. How Does He Talk About His Ex?
If he can’t get her name out without his eyes getting a little misty, it’s clear you have a problem on your hands. But there are also more subtle conversational clues that can hint as to how healed his heart is. “If you hear idealization or fondness when he talks about her, that can be an important indicator that there’s still an emotional attachment,” says Bobby. Another tell is if he often blames himself for the breakup in a way that seems like he’d change the past if he could. “If he alludes to that, he may feel like if he had just been better, they could have continued being together,” says Bobby.

That level of wistfulness or what-if thinking can stand in the way of a budding relationship, even if you two would normally be Disney-movie perfect together. “When people are addicted to an ex, they still feel like their ex is their person,” says Bobby. “Even if they’re out in the world talking to other people or going on dates, they’re not available emotionally.” The thing is that having residual feelings for an ex is completely normal, so how do you know if he’s emotionally available or not?

One good sign is if he can talk about his ex in a pretty objective way without assigning blame, getting worked up, or sounding regretful. While there’s always a chance he could be putting on a show, it’s also possible he’s well-adjusted and ready for something serious. He should also be showcasing genuine interest in you, making it clear that he wants to spend time with you and be sensitive to your feelings and needs, says Bobby.

2. Is Everything Moving Too Quickly?
It’s easy to get caught up in a whirlwind romance. Going from singledom to hanging out with someone 24/7 can be pretty thrilling, especially if you throw in things like last-minute getaways and meeting each other’s friends. Unfortunately, it’s an unfair truth of the universe that, when relationships burn so bright in the beginning, they can often fizzle out faster than you’d like. That’s especially true if he’s fresh out of a relationship. “People who are feeling more vulnerable do tend to rush in very quickly,” says Bobby. “If he’s trying to do that with you, he may still have an attachment to another person and be attempting to recreate that experience.” That’s not exactly ideal—neither is him eventually having a lightbulb moment that he’s not over his ex, which is sometimes what happens in this scenario.

3. Was He the Dumper or the Dumpee?
Even if he dumped his ex recently, he could be further along in the recovery process than another guy who got dumped by his ex a while ago. “It’s possible to process grief and make peace with a relationship ending before it actually ends, and many times that happens for the person who’s breaking up with the other,” says Bobby. “In that context, it’s much easier for someone to truly connect with a new person.” If you don’t already know details about what went down with his ex, ask. Talking about how they ended will probably give you some insight about whether you two are beginning in a good place.

4. Can You Give Him Space?
If you know for a fact he’s not over his ex but you still think you two could have something real, you have one main course of action that will help things to eventually work out: “Give him time and space,” says Bobby. “The biggest mistake you can make is trying to force it.” As hard as it may be, focus on filling your life in ways beyond him. See other people if you’re not exclusive, spend time with your friends, work on your runninghabit, and generally don’t hang your romantic hopes on him. You can keep him in your life, but don’t get hooked on someone who’s emotionally unavailable, says Bobby. If he eventually makes some headway and is ready to date seriously, chances are he’ll let you know.

Credit: WomenHealthMag