Tag Archives: Ex Wife

I Want A New Life In Europe, Says Ex-wife Of Terror Leader

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Born in Iraq to an upper-middle-class conservative family, Dulaimi was married off to Baghdadi. He was not a bloodthirsty terrorist back then, she claims. “I married a normal person, a university lecturer,” she said. “He was a family man.” She wasn’t his only bride; she had to share him with another wife. “He went to work and came home to his family,” Dulaimi said.

“He was great. He was the children’s ideal father. The way he was with children … he was a teacher — you know how teachers are. He knew how to deal with children, better than how to deal with the mother.” But the two did not talk much like others couples do. The reason? He had a “mysterious personality,” Dulaimi answered. And it was difficult being the second wife. “It’s hard for two wives to live together,” she said. Their union, she said, ended seven years ago.

Dulaimi said she ran away from Baghdadi after she became pregnant. She wouldn’t say exactly why, but explained, “I wasn’t happy.” She told Expressen TV that she did not love him. “The fact that I got out is proof of that,” she said.

He tried to get her back several times. “But I’d already made my mind up,” she said. They last spoke in 2009, Dulaimi said, when Baghdadi again tried to get her back. She didn’t tell him that she bore him a daughter. But he found out a while later, she said. “He said he’d take her when I remarry,” Dulaimi said.

Dulaimi is worried for her daughter’s safety. “I’m scared of everyone; that’s what’s happened,” she said. She is very concerned for the girl, who says she hopes to get an education abroad. “She’s the one who now … suffers,” her mother said.

“She has the entire world’s disaster upon her shoulders.” Now the young mother dreams of a life with her daughter in Europe. She wants the girl to go to school. It will be a better and safer life, she believes. “I want to live in a European country, not an Arab country,” she said.

“I want my children to live and get an education.”

“Even if her mother was married to Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, a terrorist … what is the child guilty of there?” Dulaimi said it makes her sad to think she will always be thought of as Baghdadi’s ex-wife. “I’m branded a terrorist, but I’m far from all that,” she said. Europeans should accept her, regardless of her past relationship with Baghdadi, she said. “No bearer of burdens shall bear another’s burden.

“I mean, where is my guilt if I was married to him in 2008? We’re divorced now. I was the one who left him, not the other way around.”

“I’m a woman who’s been through a lot and had to suffer in prison,” said Dulaimi, who was arrested in Lebanon in December 2014 as she was trying to enter the country from Syria. “Now I want to settle down,” she said. “If I’d wanted to live with him, I’d have lived like a princess,” she said.

“I could have moved in with them and had loads of money. But I don’t want money.” She wants something more. “I want to live in freedom, [to] live like everyone else.”

Credit: Vanguard

 

 

4 Huge Mistakes I Made As A Wife- Ex Wife Reveals

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1. I put my children first.
It’s easy to love your own children. It takes very little effort, and they adore you no matter what. Marriage is the polar opposite: it’s work. And whenever my marriage started to feel like work, I would check out and head to Build-A-Bear Workshop or the science museum with the kids in tow. I’d often plan these adventures when I knew my husband couldn’t go (and spoil my good time). I told myself it was OK because he preferred to work anyway and always seemed grouchy on family outings. I chose most nights to cuddle with them in our bed, blaming his late-night bedtimes and snoring for the sleeping arrangement. As a result, we were hardly alone together and never had kid-free date nights. Well, maybe once a year on our anniversary.

2. I didn’t set (or enforce) boundaries with my parents.
They were at our house frequently, sometimes arriving unannounced and walking right in. They’d “help out” around the house doing things we never asked them to, like folding our laundry (incorrectly, of course). We’d vacation with them. They’d correct our children in front of us. My own fears of upsetting my parents kept me from drawing a line in the sand and asking them not to cross it. The few times I did stand up for my family’s autonomy, I didn’t hold my parents to the same standards in future. My husband, quite literally, married my entire family.

3. I emasculated him.
I thought love was about honesty, but we all know that the truth hurts. As we grew more comfortable (read: lazy) in our relationship, I stopped trying to take the sting out it. I talked smack to my girlfriends, my mom, my co-workers. All. The. Time. “Can you believe he didn’t do this?” and “Why in God’s name did he do THAT?”

Instead of building up his ego, I trampled all over it. I belittled him often, saying his job was unimportant and dismissing his friends as “hangers-on.” I berated him for doing things wrong when, in all honesty, he just wasn’t doing them my way. At times I spoke to him like a child. I controlled the family finances and grilled him over every single penny he spent. And in the bedroom — yup, you guessed it — he was doing that all wrong too, and I wasn’t shy about telling him so. As our marriage crumbled, I found myself constantly looking for faults and mistakes so that I could justify my superiority. By the end, I had zero respect for him and I made sure he knew it and felt it every day.

4. I didn’t bother to learn to fight the right way.
I know it sounds odd to suggest there is a right way to fight. But there is. I tended to keep the peace in our house by keeping my mouth shut when things were really bothering me. As you can imagine, all the small things that drove me crazy grew into a giant suppressed ball of anger that would erupt occasionally in a huge, really frightening fit of Hulk-like rage. And by rage, I mean rage in the clinical, mental-health definition kind of way. After the fact, I’d justify my anger by saying that a woman can only take so much. Looking back, I was one scary b*tch during those episodes.

I write this mea culpa not with the hopes of winning my ex back, or even wanting his forgiveness. I write this because I can’t believe how long I kept my head buried in the sand. I hope other women out there will yank theirs out and take a good look around. And while I’m still hurt that my husband chose to solve our problems in another woman’s bed when some conversation and counseling might have helped, I absolutely know that my behavior was part of what pushed him there.

Credit: www.huffingtonpost.com