Most people often say there is nothing new about Kim Kardashian and her body. Well we’ve seen it all, but there’s just something about her when she releases another photo and then we realize that she sheds her old skin often. LOL!
The sexy mother of two has been serving post pregnancy body goals and even though we’ve see it before, we can’t help but admire again. See a pic she posted on her IG lately:
https://www.instagram.com/p/BJ-l8IABC7D/?taken-by=kimkardashian
“Yo, it’s finally Friday.” Who isn’t excited for Fridays? I’m pretty sure this is a mantra everyone quietly chants to themselves every Friday until 5:01 PM.
“It’s time to pick out my Friday night shirt.” This is easy because most guys have 3-5 shirts that are acceptable “going out” shirts.
“Time to group text ‘what r u doin tonite?'” There are two kinds of people: those who have Friday night plans, and those who desperately try to latch onto Friday night plans.
“Do I look like I’m trying too hard?” Most guys have a getting ready ritual. I don’t think any guy will admit to spending hours in front of the mirror, but some do. That’s the catch-22 of the modern man grooming ritual. It’s important to look like you’re put-together, without looking like you actually spent a lot of time on it.
“Should I bring I coat? I don’t want to have to stand around with a coat.” This is hugely important in the dead of winter, where the answer is probably “yes.” But what if the place you’re going to is really hot? Where do you put the coat? And what if it’s that nebulous time of year when you’re not sure what the smarter call is: looking really cold while you’re outside waiting to get in, or you know, standing around with a coat? There is no right answer.
“Why won’t the bartender look at me?” Seriously, though. How is the bartender not making eye contact with ANY MAN who needs a drink? That shit is more advanced than knowing what goes into a Moscow Mule.
“Where is the coolest place to stand and look at my phone?” The other option would be to actually go out on the dance floor, so pick one.
“I NEED TO SNAP SOMETHING COOL IMMEDIATELY” This is so people don’t think we’re total assholes who stay at home. JOKES ON YOU, BRO, WE’RE TOTAL LOSERS WHO GO OUT.
“Holy shit, a girl who is actually single.” It seems like a lot of women go out with their boyfriend or aren’t single at bars. OR they just lie about being single to be polite about getting hit on.
“I just got her number but I have to act like this happens all the time but not ALL the all the time.” Going out to bring someone home is a numbers game. Some people have really good numbers and some guys don’t. It’s important to at least present oneself as the type of guy who isn’t a club-hopping semi-pro but also as someone who has talked to women before.
Credit: Cosmopolitan
The sweet:
“Look at that beautiful idiot. What a fool she is showing up here.” —Uhhnox
“I kept saying to myself ‘don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry’ right before my wife started walking down the [aisle]. As soon as I saw her I had to look at my groomsmen to avoid being an emotional mess, which made it worse because I made eye contact with my brother, who has been my best friend my entire life and my eyes watered up. Went back to looking at my wife but I couldn’t see how good she looked because of my tears. Thank God for pictures!” —Pokeyh4x
The heartfelt:
“Just got married in July. 72 hours before our wedding, my fiancee and I went to the doctor for the first ultrasound of our 12-week-old baby. There was no heartbeat. She was in surgery the next day for a D&E procedure. On the morning of our wedding, she spent three hours in the ER dealing with post-surgery complications, but she rallied and we got married as scheduled. As she walked down the aisle, none of our guests knew about her ordeal except for our family and best friends. We all teared up, knowing what she was going through. We got married on the beach in Cape Cod, so it was a long walk across the sand. As she approached, all I could think about was how fucking much I love her. What a strong, beautiful, and amazing woman.” —Velospeed
“30 years for me…I can still see her standing there…absolutely burned in my brain, along with the birth of our children. She was (and is) so beautiful…I felt (and feel) so lucky. It was like the whole world was gray, and as she walked toward me, the world became color in her path. I can’t even imagine the kind of man I would be without her.” —Mrmidhoratio
The tragic:
“‘I am making the worst mistake of my life.’ Divorced two and a half years later. Don’t get married young. Period.” —Mormonsarebrainwashd
“‘This is a mistake… This is a mistake…’ We separated in June and are in the initial steps of divorce.” —isthisoneinvalidtoo
“I was thinking: ‘Please let this be legit, I hope she does not bail when she gets her green card’. She bailed. I am currently putting in an annulment and have her arrested for immigration fraud.” —TeddyV
The tearjerker:
“I’ve been married multiple times. My last wife was pushed down the aisle in a wheelchair.
I was thinking ‘I wish this day could last forever.’ She passed away 17 days later.” -—FullNoodleFrontity
Since we can’t leave you on that note…the funny:
“I was thinking, ‘So this is it. I’ve finally did it. This beautiful woman is mine. Wait, fuck, she’s falling. Try not to laugh. Don’t laugh. Shit, I’m laughing.'” —TheMuffinguy
Credit: glamour
?During her Wednesday night appearance on ?Jimmy Kimmel Live?, Miley did many things — wore nipple pasties; talked about how her boobs make Paul McCartney uncomfortable — but most hilariously, she disguised herself as an Australian TV reporter named Janet and asked people on the streets of L.A. what they thought of her.
Credit: Jimmy Kimmel Live/YouTube
