Man Accidentally Gets His Testicle Trapped In A Chair

After a knee injury, Claus Jørstad of Alta, Norway invested in a MARIUS Stool from IKEA to sit on while he showered — but that plan backfired big time. While sitting on the chair during a recent rinse, one of Jørstad’s testicles got stuck in a hole on the seat when the hot water caused them to expand.

“Sitting there and noticing the accident, I bent down to see what happened, I realized the little nutter has got stuck,” he told Daily Mail. He sat there so long, in fact, that the water turned cold. However, Jørstad thinks the freezing water was actually his saving grace. You see, the temperature drop caused his testicle to shrink again, which allowed him to safely free his little guy.

But after the incident, he decided to warn others about his experience by taking to Facebook and alerting IKEA in a post that has since gone viral. According to Daily Dot, Jørstad told IKEA, “Sitting there and noticing the accident, I bent down to see what the f*ck happened, I realized the little nutter has got stuck.” He also said, “The water turned cold by itself. So I started freezing. The water got cold. Even more cold than my mother-in-law’s smile when I married her daughter.”

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Brazil VP ‘Accidentally’ Releases Post-Impeach Speech

Brazil’s vice president — who would take over if Dilma Rousseff is impeached — on Monday accidentally released the speech he’d give to the nation if she were forced to stand aside, reports said. The appearance online of the 14-minute speech in which Vice President Michel Temer addresses “the Brazilian people” was immediately interpreted by Rousseff supporters as evidence for their claims that impeachment proceedings are a coup plot in disguise.

Temer’s office told Folha newspaper that the vice president, who turned on Rousseff to become an opposition leader, was just practicing “on his cell phone and it was sent by accident.” In the leaked speech, Temer states that his “great mission from now is the calming of the country, the unification of the country.”

He calls on all parties to join “to pull the country out of crisis.” Temer would automatically assume the presidency if the Senate votes to put Rousseff on impeachment trial for allegedly illegal government accounting tricks. But for that to happen, the lower house first needs to vote in about a week’s time, with a two thirds majority required for the Senate to take up the case.

The Senate would then have to vote to start the trial. With Rousseff fighting hard to defeat the motion in the lower house, the outcome remains far from sure. Despite the assurances that the recording was just a precautionary measure sent out by accident, some saw darker motives. Rousseff’s Workers’ Party tweeted that Temer’s premature speech to the nation reveals preparations for “a brazen coup plot.”

And the bizarre twist in an already complex fight over Rousseff’s future prompted lively exchanges on social media. Some questioned whether the release of the presidential-style speech, which was quickly given widespread media coverage, really was accidental. Others made fun of Temer, who according to a recent poll would only get one to two percent of the vote in a presidential election.

Credit: Vanguard

19-Year-Old Accidentally Shoots Himself While Taking Gun Selfie

Deleon Smith, a 19-year-old father of two, was found dead in Houston, Texas, yesterday after accidentally shooting himself in the throat while trying to take a selfie, ABC 13 reports. Police say Smith was posting photos to Instagram with his cousin when the gun went off.

According to KHOU, Smith attempted to take a photo with the gun pointed to his head when the gun went off. His uncle who lives on the same block attempted to resuscitate Smith, but Smith was dead by the time he arrived. Both the police and Smith’s family believe the shooting was completely accidental. They are still investigating who actually owned the gun Smith was using.

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