That Andrew Yakubu – By Charly Boy

The other day, I was in the midst of those I thought were reasonable people – a small group of lawyers, engineers and realtors or real estate guys, and as usual, the topic of conversation was our dear country Nigeria. Then someone said, “Abegi President Buhari should bring back our corruption,” and to my surprise, everyone was laughing. I missed the joke, but I could swear the speaker was expressing the sentiment of the people I was with who were engulfed in a mumu laughter.

Who in Nigeria wey go say him no know say corruption na 99% of our wahala? Abeg why e be say na so so mumu mumu people full dis country? How can anybody govern a people who celebrate corruption the way we do and then cry foul when the damage is done, as though they had no idea where it came from? Kai, weytin be our problem Sef!

Walahitalai, even Jesus cannot govern a country wey still dey celebrate a president who presided over nothing but the wanton pilfering of its resources. And some Mumu Nigerians go dey wish make him come back to power. Na wa o.

Most people for Naija dey Craze. We dey Sick. And many of us dey Mental. I am sure you must have heard/read about the former NNPC Boss, Andrew Yakubu, who typifies what is damaging the Nigerian brand. Of course there are many Yakubus in Nigeria, even in my village of Oguta. The evil in the hearts of these men and women who are mindless and mean is for sure the bedrock of our recession; unemployment; suffering; hunger and infrastructural decay as billions and trillions of our monies are often pocketed by political criminals.

In the space of two years, see how much of our looted money was recouped by the government of President Muhammadu Buhari:

$153 million = Diezani Allison Madueke;
$15 million = Patience Jonathan;
N4billion = NIMASA boss Patrick Akpobolokemi
Heartbreaking N1trillion = Ex-Service chiefs
N111million = INEC Staff
$9.8 million & £74,000 = Andrew Yakubu
4.7bn arms fund = Obanikoro/Fayose
N11.7 billion mansion built by Deziani in Banana Island, Lagos.

Haba! Haba!! Haba!!! Is this a stealing competition?

But Andrew Yakubu own vex me die. Look at the clandestine place that $9.8m and another £74, 000 was found! Who would have thought there was such magnitude of national treasure there? See ehn, this stunning discovery by the EFCC makes me wonder how a soulless criminal of Andrew Yakubu’s ilk could have received $10million in cash as gift – as claimed by him – and how much gift would have been given to many other thieves, evil peoples and demons who had over the last decade, dotted our government. Oh… Where is my gun? I dey seriously feel like shooting somebody! In the end, common man go die by jungle justice ooo.

My people, I no dey fit sleep again. I no fit comprehend how a human being go thief him generation money come go church go do thanksgiving. The supposed Man of God who is his pastor is a bastard and that church is a fraud; in fact, the God to whom they pray sef Na LIE. Nigerians must rise up and in unison fight this corruption, because if we fail today, this our suffering no go end o… and many of us go die for nothing. Our failure as a country is our fault as a people. Andrew Yakubu dey for every family for Naija. You wan get money but you no wan work. Looking for miracles in churches and mosques. If we fail to work, we can only steal to survive and that is where the change must begin – with us all. A country where people spend more time on their knees more than they do on their job will not stand; a country where the mind of the people has been buried in the erroneous mentality of getting rich only by praying; daily spiritual diet; where men of God openly fraternize with certified and indicted thieves and drool over their loot – is  a country on its way to hell. My people, let us become a people who work so that we can collectively fight and fix this country. This madness of looters no go stop if our miracle-stricken mindset no change.

I hear say government dey give whistleblowers 5%, good. As the President of Frustrated Nigerians, I go ginger anybody wey know any government worker or politician wey dey hide money, for this our jungle. No fear, stand up because me go fight your fight. I am willing to provide further support for those who are afraid and I am willing to stand and fight to ensure that nobody go intimidate you – whether na the looters or agencies of government wey wan dey act funny. I cannot stand back and watch my country, my Naija, my home get looted to the point of monumental destructiveness while those who are capable of helping the government recover loots for the benefit of us all are intimidated by FEAR of DEATH. All man go die nonetheless and e fit be anytime.

I am prepared to lead a national revolution against corruption and in support of President Muhammadu Buhari’s anti-corruption war. I will go to meet with the EFCC boss, the ICPC boss, the police boss and all those who are trying to give this country renewed hope. Very soon the voice of ordinary Nigerians will be so loud that the interest of the frustrated Nigerians will be a national priority. For decades, I have never heard thieves return so much money back to the system. And for this reason alone, I go clap small for President Muhammadu Buhari. As the President of All Frustrated Nigerians, I enjoin all of us to shine our eyes and act right so we no go take our hand decimate what is left of our land. This mindless stealing and looting is just too much. Na God go punish bad people.

#OurMumuDonDo !!!

Charly Boy (Areafada)
President, All Frustrated Nigerians.
Twitter: @Areafada1