THE VOICES IN MY HEAD
It’s a well known fact among healthcare professionals that one of the key symptoms of Schizophrenia is Hallucination either visual (seeing things) or auditory. Now I’m sure I am not mad but don’t all mad men say that? On a more serious note, there are voices in my head. I hear them now and then and they all have something to say. It’s so noisy sometimes up there that I just choose to do nothing and sleep (apparently they can’t follow me to dreamland).
One voice I hear often is my mothers’. She is kind of my control switch. I have a hyperactive mind which often tends to spin off tangentially. I may be there physically but my mind is gone, all I need do is cue in my mother’s voice “Boluwaduro ki lo nse e naa” and automatically I’m back. Me and my mum, we have it like that. Whenever I feel like doing WHATEVER I like; I run that feeling by my mum (in my mind) if I can’t do it in her presence without that sweet voice saying “Boluwaduro ki lo nse e naa”. Then I don’t do it. It doesn’t make me mummy’s boy, it means I have self control because in reality she is not there. Remember the bible says “Train a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he won’t depart from it” kudos mama, you really did it. So this voice acts as my Correction Officer.
The second voice is actually my most loved voice. It’s the voice of the Overlord – my smarter alter ego whose presence I feel at all times and he doesn’t go around killing people (at least not physically) he is El Creativo. The one who brings to earth all the poems and creative write-ups, the drama scripts and vivid imagination for directing, the humorous me is all him. I really am a shy person on my own. But with the Overlord around, you won’t notice it because he brings out the charm and the persona. He is the one who charges me up when I am lazy – borderline crazy and tells me something like “dude, if I could come out right now, I’ll kick your butt, get up! And face the task before you or else I will remain silent for a month” now that’s a threat I can’t live with, a month without the Overlord? Basically The Overlord
is the Creative part of me.
The third voice is the voice of my father in heaven; the two voices are limited by their natural origins. Nothing is complete without the supernatural. In God I live breathe and have my being. He completes me, tells me the world is mine and gives me grace both to will and to do his good pleasures. And let’s not forget he created me. So his place is a rightful one. That being said, you can say he is the captain of this ship, my navigator and anchor in the storm. In these times, it would be unreasonable for anybody to want to live and make impact without a heavy dose of creativity.
Without appropriate self control, you’ll probably never be able to make use of all the creativity you have because you’ll be busy doing anything and everything but the main thing. You’ll find yourself taking one step forward and three backwards without direction, help and support, who is best to provide this but the creator Himself? Do you have voices in you head?
Asala Boluwaduro
Lagos, Nigeria
Blogs at: hasarla.wordpress.com
@overlordNoni on twitter
