Tag Archives: How To

Germany’s ‘Mr Flirt’ Teaches Refugees How To Pick Up Women

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The subject was pickup lines, and Germany’s “Mr. Flirt” offered a few examples to his class of Syrian and Iraqi refugees. “I really love the scent of your perfume,” he suggested. “You have a beautiful voice.” He invited his students to take a stab.

Essam Kadib al Ban, 20, raised his hand. “God created you only for me,” he said, then tried another: “I love you. Can I sleep over at your place?”

Horst Wenzel winced, but caught himself quickly.

“Don’t tell them you love them at least for the first three months of your relationship, or they’ll run away,” he explained patiently. “German women don’t like clinginess.”

Wenzel, 27, makes his living teaching wealthy but uptight German men how to approach women. But this year, he decided to also volunteer his skills to help Germany as it struggles to integrate more than 1 million refugees who have arrived over the past two years, most of them from war-torn Muslim countries with vastly different relations between the sexes.

“Finding a relationship is the best way to integrate, and that’s why I’m giving these classes,” Wenzel said.

Last week, in downtown Dortmund, he offered his third installment of “How to fall in love in Germany,” taking 11 young men through the paces. The students conceded they had a lot to learn.

Omar Mohammed, a shy, 24-year-old goldsmith from Syria with spiky black hair and almond-shaped eyes, said he’s attracted to German women, with their Nordic looks and punctuated accents. But they remain a mystery to him, and he has no idea how to approach them.

“It’s hard to meet a girl when you don’t speak the language well and can’t really talk to them,” he said. “There are a lot of differences, not only the culture and religion — we just don’t have this total freedom at home.”

Still, he said, “I’d love to marry a German woman and live with her. She could help me with the language, and she knows the place and the laws much better than I do.”

Some German women were receptive to the idea. Jasmin Olbrich, having a quick lunch of French fries at a food truck outside the educational center, said she liked the Middle Eastern looks and complained that German men “drink too much beer, watch way too much soccer and are just so white!”

Read More: yahoo

How To Stay Married, Advice From A Divorced Woman

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If something bothers you. Speak up. NOW.

Maybe your spouse says something that hurts your feelings. Undermines you. Is dismissive.

Whatever it is, you are hurt, but don’t want to bring it up and start a whole argument. It just doesn’t seem worth the hassle.

But trust yourself. Anything that is big enough to upset you, is worth arguing about. Because those feelings of hurt or anger you’ve got won’t go away.

They will just get buried. Which brings me to my next point.

Buried feelings don’t go away. They take root and grow.

All those hurts you haven’t brought up. All those slights you ignored don’t go away. They multiply.

They attach themselves to every single feeling you’ve got about your spouse.

The feelings will surface at some point. Usually when you are arguing about a totally different topic.

Say you’re arguing about who picks up the dog poop in the yard, suddenly all those buried feelings of anger you’ve been suppressing come exploding to the top.

You are now no longer arguing about dog poop you are now arguing about dog poop AND his Mother. Not a productive way to settle a disagreement.

Date Nights Don’t Work.

If date nights are the only time that you do things together as a couple, hate to break it to you, but one night a week is not going to save your marriage. Dinner and a movie do not a marriage make.

It’s a night out, not a miracle.

Yes, it’s a good idea to schedule time just for the two of you to go out; but if that’s the only time you spend time together as a couple, then you are already in trouble.

Don’t Put Off Counseling.

Too many couples put off marriage counseling until it’s way too late.

For many, the marriage is already beyond repair before they ever sit together on a therapist’s couch.

Counseling has a better chance of working if you go while there is still a marriage to save. If you think it might help your relationship, don’t wait. If your goal is to stay married, call a marriage counselor ASAP. Counseling seem too expensive?

Credit: huffingtonpost