Tag Archives: Consortium

#Pausibility: Of Nominal, Normal and The Extreme by Adebayo Coker.

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Just as the common example, Ramadan has come to an end and a sharp upsurge in the patronage of brothels and beer parlors are noticeable.  Do not get me wrong, same could be said of quadragesimal period. A great number of us display piety louder than the Pope and the chiefest of Sheikhs just around those periods that we observe our religious abstinence, but other than those times, we are just as evil as the devil can be.

Yours truly was Ebuka’s guest at Channels TV last Sunday. It was a live cast of the famous programme for youths, Rubbin’Minds (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NJmy8Q_xx2Q), immediately after which I was appealed to by Victor of Channels Beams to wait for a recording of his programme, claiming that Sunday was the only window left for him, else he may have to do a repeat of one of his old recordings. Just as a part of me will always want to go out to put smiles on peoples’ faces, sometimes to my own detriment; I did wait. Both Seun (the producer of Rubbin’ Minds) and Victor (the presenter of Channels Beam) promised to be on my trail as I left their Studio around 5pm to travel to Ife that Sunday, but to my utmost amazement, none of them have called me till date.. I have spoken to Seun after then (I called him) and if you wonder why I’m saying this in spite of an honorarium, I have news for you: there is nothing like that. I drove myself to their studio. They must have thought I would be glad to be on TV but it was all in honor of a noble friend and brother, Lanre Lagunju , who prevailed upon me the previous week to be on the programme. I felt a bit slighted but my understanding of human nature has taught me that we all have a covert use-and-dump attitude in us.

I was involved in an accident around Gbongan that evening as I ran into one of the road bumps, thanks to bad street lighting. The alternator belt gave way, invariably affecting the charging system of the car. It took the grace of God and the help of three men, Mr. Animashaun and his son, whom I had given a ‘lift’ around Wasimi before the incident, and a commuter bus driver, Moses, for my car to be towed to destination around 11pm. It was an agonizing experience for me. May God bless them all. I doubt if they will ever get to read this piece, but I will encourage them as we have become pals since that day, talking on the phones almost every day.

The mechanic saw a kill on Monday morning as he exploited the situation to the fullest. I had to dance to his tune as I had no choice. Am back to base. Thank God for journey mercies.

The road to Ife has always been bad, even during my university days, but to my astonishment, the good roads that have been built /completed by this government were nowhere to be seen as I had to be extra-cautious of the many death traps on Lagos-Ibadan Expressway.

I sat with the erudite Professor of Pharmacy, Professor Adebayo Lamikanra, in his office and he chatted me up on his frustration about Nigerian roads, without having heard of my experience of the previous night. He told me how he had gone to Osun State College of Education and found that the roads within the school premises had totally given way, obviously, from non- maintenance since they were built. I can’t describe the dissatisfaction on this gentleman’s face. He is in his mid 60s so he told me how happy some of them were when the military took over in 1983 due to the bastardizing of the system by the then politicians. He said he later became psychologically brutalized when the ‘khaki boys’ wouldn’t behave as human beings, but that they (intellectuals) continued to write (writings that would have been frowned at by the then military government) at the risk of their lives. The Professor expressed his depression when he came to the conclusion that these present day politicians are much worse than the pre- 1983-Military-takeover politicians.

I met with some of my lecturers in Ife. The same offices. The same toilets. The same ‘black boards’. Nothing has changed except that younger lecturers have been employed to take the place of some retired academics. I met one of the new recruits who was so full of himself and yours truly did cut him to size. He expected me to roll on the floor in the name of greeting him. I made him understand that I just greeted the VC the way a gentleman should: handshake. He took me to be one of his students (I am an El-Rufai-like person). I later found out we bear the same surname and he was just 3yrs my senior. We made up.

I am sure you are wondering why this travelogue? Well, I will like you to read between the lines. If I had been asked to tell where Mr Animashaun hails from, going by his physique, I would have taken him to be an Easterner because he was decked in suit and had a briefcase in his hand. When we got talking I found out he is a Moslem from Gbongan. I would have taken Moses to be a Moslem judging from his intonation. I never would have thought Professor Lamikanra could offer me a seat in his office let alone a chat. I could never have imagined moving close to the VC’s office, not to talk of a handshake from him. But I would have expected Seun and Victor to show the same affection they have for their programmes to the people they invite onto their respective shows, especially as we are of the same generation. I would have expected the mechanic to be lenient in milking me particularly as I spoke to him in an undiluted Yoruba tongue, having seen that his tribal marks wouldn’t have belonged to any other tribe than Yoruba ; instead he said, ara eko ni yin, e san owo nla. I would have expected the newly recruited lecturer to be open-minded because he is youthful. In all, I learnt that a person is a person and a race is a race.

I would have expected this government to stop this ‘lying lying thing.’

Ill-timed.

That Brother Jonathan declared his nimble intention amidst great fanfare the day after many pupils were bombed in Potiskum should not be a surprise to anyone who has been following the development around here, unless the person was asleep when the PDP went dancing in Kaduna the day after over 200 girls were abducted from Chibok. Read #Pausibility: Your Daily Bomb-o-scope, Don’t Go Out Without It to understand the overall thinking capacity of a typical Nigerian politician.

And those Aggrieved Peoples Consortium members should go and sit down jor. All we hear are commentaries by their media handler(s) which at times causes one to question their preparedness to stand as a true opposition party. Let them set their house in motion. By now we should be seeing posters; watching resourceful adverts, and hearing inspiring jingles of their Presidential candidate, They should call their ‘lying’ Mohammed to order jor.

#PAUSIBILITY: ARMISTICE WITH AN EYE CYST?- ADEBAYO COKER

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imagesOne of the news items, in fact, it was reeled as a Breaking News item, last weekend was the Ceasefire Deal that was entered into by the FGN with Boko Haram. I am sure so many of us will say it is a welcome development; but immediately I saw that piece on Channels TV I knew this is another of those displays of mental incapacity to think right and to act right by the crop of managers in charge of our state affairs.

I am sure many of us must have been reading different analyses and commentaries on why this particular ceasefire is defective. I have my wholesome reservations too about the deal but I will only employ Maieutics to drive home my point.

No one is trying to ridicule the efforts being made by the government to restore peace and orderliness in the land but when the same government does not act with sincerity of purpose then one isn’t left with any other option than to express one’s doubt. For those that will say I am being paid for this apologue, I will try to answer you in this manner, Yes, I am a progressive but not at all a party to Aggrieved People’s Consortium neither am I a game player amongst the Progress Destructive People. I believe you will employ strict ingenuity in reading this piece.

Ceasefire or armistice as I understand it by the teachings in my Public and International Affairs Master’s programme, is a truce agreed to between opponents so they can discuss peace terms. But remember, the FG on many occasions has come out to announce that everything is normal. The salacious man that was employed as a ravelin to the handler of information from Aso Rock had, in fact, in his usual impaired intelligence, queried peoples’ analyses of the State Of The Nation to the end that the country is at war.

I just want to ask some questions:

Why did it take you, the FGN so many months before this purported  peace brokerage, even when it was obvious that that is the first option in  ‘procuring’ peace, rather than ammunition? The lame explanation is that “government doesn’t negotiate with terrorists”. But would anyone in this government feign deaf or blind when few months ago ‘the almighty’ USA exchanged five deadly terrorist cell leaders for the life of just one of their citizens?

Just few days ago, we were told that Shekau, the mad dog leader of Boko Haram was killed. When people raised doubts as usual, the government in her usual manner intimidated the public and asked that evidence of his being alive be provided. In short, the FG was beating its chest that Shekau has been mauled in one of those heavy bombings of the sect’s hideouts. But the same government made a submission that Shekau agreed to the armistice. I wonder when the dead started agreeing to the deals of the living. When they announced that he had been killed I said to myself, ‘it is a matter of time’. Here we are.

Would the ceasefire deal entered into with Boko Haram by the FGN include the restoration of the dignity of those innocent girls and women who were raped and or kidnapped from their homes and schools, or the lives of harmless and ‘armless’ people that were killed in cold blood, on a daily basis by these religious rapists?

Would it include restoring the cattle that were stolen or burnt and the farmlands and homes of agrarian communities that were destroyed?

Why is the ceasefire coming in the wake of few months to the General elections? I am sure some of us will say the timing isn’t of importance since it has happened all the same. Very good point. But I will like people to understand that if there is no peace in the land, the chance of this government’s continued stay in office is slim; and when is a better time to score political points other than now? Thus we may have to call the sincerity behind the move to question.

Why the sudden jerk to responsibility just at the wake of a promise to restore the nation’s integrity and security by a Presidential candidate of the opposition if elected?

Why go to South Africa to disgrace us in the bid to procure ammunition through the ‘back door’ if you had this ‘armistice deal’ ongoing:  because I know the discussion precluded the ‘arm procurement’ saga?

If the CDS could order his men to stand down, does he know that less than 24hrs after his announcement, these animals still perpetrated their nefariousness by ravaging some towns in Adamawa state and in about 72hrs to that, some women were also abducted? Just yesterday, Azare town in Bauchi was visited by a carnage that consumed about 5 lives. This same CDS told us he knew where those girls are being kept.

I have many questions on my mind but I know if only they could answer these few ones, you will see some form of culpability in this mess.

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In all, I share the pains of the abducted girls as well as their parents, likewise the pains of those that have lost their loved ones in one way or the other to this ravaging insurgence in the land. I grieve for the families of the members of our armed forces that have paid and continue to pay the ultimate price in this ongoing onslaught by the insurgents. In this wise, I join the members of the public again to ask that this government be responsible enough to act right.

THE EGG. THE HEN

Wonder when these old crop will leave the centre stage to allow young bloods take the reins. The other day, a man that is in his seventies, picked a nomination form at his party secretariat to campaign for the post of President.  He was flanked on all sides by young men and women that I believe should be expressing their intent to turn this land of ours around, rather than being escorts.

Adebayo Coker is the author of Societal Fragments and A Man Like Me: Noteography Of A Father To His Son (both are available on www.amazon.com, www.amazon.kdf.com, www.smashwords.com,  OR order directly by calling 09096991619). He blogs viawww.pausibility.wordpress.com and tweets @adebay_c