7 Signs You’re Meant To Be Single

1. You have high avoidance goals

Not all relationships are riddled with baggage, but you’d be hard-pressed to find one that’s never seen any glimpse of conflict at one point or another. For people who absolutely cannot deal with disagreements, being single just may be their happy place. Although modern society and a social media-obsessed culture often dubs people in relationships happier than those not in relationships, some research begs to differ. In a study published in Social Psychological & Personality Science, researchers evaluated the connection between being happy, or unhappy, and being in a relationship, or being single.

 The study found that single people who had high avoidance goals, meaning they are most concerned with preventing relationship conflict and disagreements, were just as happy as those who were in a relationship. On the flip side, people high in approach goals, meaning they strive to enhance relationship closeness, experienced greater life satisfaction, and were particularly happy when they were in a relationship.

Of course, this doesn’t mean everyone who’s in a relationship is a drama queen (or king), but it’s interesting to hear just why a person may be happier flying solo.

2. You are single at heart

As Bella DePaulo, Ph.D. puts it in Psychology Today, being single is all in your perception of it. And as she prefers to explain it, a person is single at heart when they see themselves as single, as opposed to referring to being single as some sort of personal failure. Whether your life includes the occasional romantic relationship, someone who’s single at heart doesn’t aspire to live as part of a long-term couple. So, just as some people feel they are meant to have children, the same can be said about those who are at their best when they’re single.

3. You have a sense of personal mastery

Lots of people have a can-do attitude, and regardless of relationship status, this outlook delivers a sense of accomplishment, pride, and positivity. If you’re certain you can do anything you set your mind to, consider yourself a contender for single at heart.

When a person has a sense of personal mastery, they are less likely to experience negative emotions. Just think about when a toddler is taught to dress himself, rather than always having his parent automatically do it for him. He’ll be left with feelings of pride and a sense of accomplishment because he’s done it himself. Similarly, DePaulo says that for singles, the link between personal mastery and freedom from negative feelings is stronger than it is for people in a relationship.

4. You are highly self-sufficient

Being self-sufficient doesn’t just mean you’re capable of dealing with things on your own, but that you actually like to deal with things on your own. If a person has been single for some time, it’s obvious they’re likely to do things on their own, regardless of whether they want to at first. However, as time goes on and they repeatedly take decision-making into their own hands, they’ll likely become more confident in doing so. “For people who have always been single, the more self-sufficient they are, the less likely they are to experience negative emotions,” DePaulo says. “For people who are currently married, though, it’s the opposite — the more they like dealing with things on their own, the more likely they are to have negative feelings.”

5. You don’t like being tied down

While not all relationships require a person to be attached to their partner’s hip at all times, if you’re someone who feels your freedom is totally revoked in each and every relationship you’ve been in, the single life may be best for you.

Remember the Sex and the City episode where Carrie starts hyperventilating while trying on wedding dresses? Well, just as she felt stifled in her relationship with Aidan, so too do many other people. In Carrie’s case, sure, it was more the person and less the fact she was destined for single life forever, but you get the idea. As relationship expert and author April Masini told Bustle, “Some people simply know they want to stay single. They enjoy the freedom, and they don’t have nay anxiety about missing out on being part of a couple.” And trading in your freedom for a life partner better be something you’ve put a lot of thought into.

6. You’re afraid you’ll miss out on something better

You’re familiar with FOMO, right? Good, because the fear of missing out is a very real thing in today’s social media obsessed world. Just as The Huffington Post explains, many people are concerned they may be missing out on something more fun, more beneficial, or more productive. Well, the same can be said about relationships … but in a good way.

While FOMO often comes with a negative connotation, it may also help explain why you choose to be single, and are happy doing so. Maybe you’re hesitant to choose a long term partner because you’re constantly concerned something better may come along. And not even just a better person, either. Maybe you’re worried being in a relationship will someday hinder your chances for a job promotion, because you know you lose focus on your career whenever you’re in a relationship. Well, there are lots of smarty pants out there who have chosen to direct their life’s attention to plans that don’t require a significant other. So, don’t waste your time in a relationship if you’re constantly on the hunt for something better.

7. You’re an opportunity addict

There’s nothing wrong with seeking various opportunities and running with them. And maybe you’re that kind of person. Although this Inc. article describes the addiction to opportunity in business terms, the same can be applied to relationships.

Think back to the previously mentioned notion of being single at heart, regardless of occasional (often short-lived) romantic relationships. Even if you’re a person who likes to date around or isn’t afraid to get to know someone new, that doesn’t necessarily mean you aren’t choosing to be single in the long run. When a new person enters your life, you’re intrigued by them, and are interested in becoming closer, which isn’t a bad thing in the least.

No matter where you are in your personal life — single, married, divorced, or otherwise — it’s yours, and yours alone to decide how you want to define your relationship with others, and most importantly, with yourself. Perhaps you’re simply not designed for a long term relationships, and that’s perfectly fine.

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http://www.cheatsheet.com/health-fitness/signs-youre-meant-single.html/?a=viewall

7 Signs You Have Found Your Soul Mate

1. You’re comfortable being vulnerable

Opening up to someone new can be terrifying. If you find yourself opening up easily and sharing secrets you’ve never told anyone else, it’s a good sign you are connecting on a deeper level. When you can easily share all of your shame, fears, desires, and fantasies, you’ve met your match.

 2. You have a strong attraction

We’re not just talking about physical attraction but also emotional attraction. Sure, you may want to ravish each other, but you also feel an emotional connection. It’s as if when you’re together, you melt into each other. It’s a meeting of the mind, body, and soul.

3. Your chemistry is off the charts

Beyond being strongly attracted to each other, you have an amazing chemistry that can be felt and seen. When you’re alone together, the atmosphere is so charged with desire, you can barely stand it.

“When you have chemistry with someone, you just feel it…chemistry represents the emotional connection present when you’re with each other. Two people who have a high degree of chemistry have emotional makeups and personalities that bring out warm, fuzzy emotions in the other, creating a kind of positive feedback loop through which they continue to make each other feel better. When you have a high degree of chemistry with someone, they monopolize your thoughts and/or your free time. You’ll stay up talking until the sun comes up and not even feel like an hour went by,” said Mark Manson.

4. Words aren’t necessary

A certain look or glance can tell you all you need to know. Your non-verbal communication is so powerful, there are times when there’s no need to speak at all. You can relay feelings of longing, love, trust, and playfulness effortlessly.

5. You laugh easily

Laughter is key to a healthy relationship. You should find yourself laughing easily and often. Something is not right if you usually feel tense and uncomfortable around each other. The right relationship should feel like coming home.

“It’s a safe bet that most of the laughs married couples get come from TV laugh tracks, not from each other. They don’t emanate from the relationship. More important, they don’t feed it. And if the jokes that make the rounds by email are any gauge, often they are at the expense of it. But homegrown laughter may be what ailing couples need most. Uniquely human, laughter is, first and foremost, a social signal — it disappears when there is no audience, which may be as small as one other person–and it binds people together. It synchronizes the brains of speaker and listener so that they are emotionally attuned,” said Hara Estroff Marano, Psychology Today editor-at-large.

6. You have a visceral reaction

When you’re around the person you were meant to be with, the innermost parts of you react. The connection is undeniable and every muscle in your body responds in agreement. It’s more than just a passing feeling, it’s a physical reaction that you can’t seem to control. When you’re around each other, your body can’t help but respond automatically.

7. You can’t see yourself with someone else

Even if you try, you can’t imagine what your life would be like without this person. The thought of being apart is physically painful. You want to spend more time together and dread leaving each other.

While all these things signal a strong connection, don’t forget the importance of compatibility as well as shared interests and values. It is also important for you to respect each other. When all these factors are in harmony, you just know it’s right. When you’ve found the one, don’t let anything get in your way. Do as much as you can to try to be together. Life is too short to wonder “what if.” Life let your paths cross for a reason, so take your chance while you still have it.

Credit: CheatSheet

7 Signs Your Husband Is Unhappily Married

1. He feels like he can’t win. 

Don’t think your heavy sighs and the comments made under your breath are going unnoticed. Unhappily married men often say they feel as though their wives are never satisfied with anything they do, said Kurt Smith, a Northern California-based marriage and family therapist who specializes in counseling for men.

“For some guys, they never feel like they can make their wife happy. Regardless of the issue, they don’t do it enough, they do it too much or they never do it right,” he explained.

To counter the negativity, Smith said spouses need to put more effort into recognizing helpful, positive things their husbands do around the house or for the family.

“The problem is, many men feel like their partners only notice when they do something wrong,” he said. “When we feel like we just can’t win, we often just give up trying.”

2. He rolls his eyes every time you ask him to attend a party. 

It’s great to attend parties and get-togethers as a couple — and making time in your busy schedule for date night is always a good thing. But for some guys, the pressure to be your plus-one at every wedding, work event and ugly sweater party can be a bit overwhelming, said Betsy Ross, a Massachusetts-based psychotherapist and divorce coach.

“Many unhappily married men complain that their spouses pressure them to do this or do that when all they really want to do is absolutely nothing. Sometimes, you just want to chill out for the night,” she said.

If you’re hearing variations of “leave me alone” more and more, Ross suggests you do just that.

“Men may want more time to themselves but it leads to them lending a hand and actually wanting to spend time with their spouses, without being asked.”

3. He complains about nagging. 

It’s a cliche at this point, but psychologist and divorce mediator Kristin Davin confirms that complaints about nagging spouses is a constant in her New York City office. That said, there’s usually more to the story than meets the eye.

“Often — but not always — women nag because men don’t follow through. How many times have you had a conversation about doing something and he commits to doing it and never follows through? Often, I’m guessing,” she said. “Women feel caught in the middle: You continue to try and talk to him and address the issue but it goes nowhere. He interprets your request as nagging. You want to believe him but his promises go unfulfilled.”

How do you save yourself from having these circular — and tedious– conversations?

“Try to change the dialogue,” Davin suggested, “Say: This really is very important to me so when can I expect it to done? Is there a hurdle we can address? If it’s not done by a certain time, can we call someone in to do it instead?”

4. He’s putting in extra hours at work. 

Sure, staying late at work can be a means to get ahead, but if he’s working late into the evenings, on weekends, and even during vacations, he could be using his job as a convenient excuse for avoiding family time, Ross said.

“Spouses usually have a threshold for how much time they can tolerate away from their partner so when a husband starts spending more and more time and energy on work, they’re devoting less time and energy to their marriage,” she said. “Several of the unhappy husbands I’ve worked with spent increasing amounts of time on their career, networking or generally pursuing interests outside of their marriage and away from their family life.”

5. He feels like he’s being punished for things he did in the past. 

At some point, you need to leave marital problems you dealt with years ago in the past, said Smith. For example, if he admitted, apologized and truly made amends for having an affair — and you’ve granted him forgiveness — you can’t continue to punish him for it.

“We all have made mistakes, but some guys feel like they can never can get out from under the shadow of their past screw ups,” Smith said. “These guys know when they make another mistake they’re going to also hear all about what they did wrong five, 10 or 15 years ago.”

6. He doesn’t understand why you give him a hard time every time he wants to hang out with friends.  

If the two of you are constantly at odds over his weekly fantasy football league get-togethers, try to address what’s at the heart of the issue: If it’s his need for space and time to himself that’s bothering you, you might want to rethink your position, Davin said.

“Space is vital in a relationship,” she explained. “Think of it this way: your marriage should be an interdependent relationship and not one that is dependent and enmeshed. Time spent apart creates space between the couple, which they need to grow, evolve and miss one another.”

7. He dodges important conversations. 

You may think mid-argument is the best time to bring up the issues that have been bothering you as of late, but the same might not hold true for your hubby, Davin said: Men often need more time or space to process your problems.

“This is very common complaint – often referred to as the ‘pursuer-distancer dance’ in relationships. Generally speaking, when there is a disagreement, most women want to talk right then and there — they pursue. Men? Not so much. They want to distance – basically, they need to move away to a place where they have space to think.”

The solution to this dilemma, Davin said, is to agree that you’ll return to the problem when cooler heads prevail — but for your own sanity, “do it sooner rather than later.”

Credit: HuffingtonPost

7 Signs You Have Found “The One”

1. You’re comfortable being vulnerable

Opening up to someone new can be terrifying. If you find yourself opening up easily and sharing secrets you’ve never told anyone else, it’s a good sign you are connecting on a deeper level. When you can easily share all of your shame, fears, desires, and fantasies, you’ve met your match.

 2. You have a strong attraction

We’re not just talking about physical attraction but also emotional attraction. Sure, you may want to ravish each other, but you also feel an emotional connection. It’s as if when you’re together, you melt into each other. It’s a meeting of the mind, body, and soul.

3. Your chemistry is off the charts

Beyond being strongly attracted to each other, you have an amazing chemistry that can be felt and seen. When you’re alone together, the atmosphere is so charged with desire, you can barely stand it.

“When you have chemistry with someone, you just feel it…chemistry represents the emotional connection present when you’re with each other. Two people who have a high degree of chemistry have emotional makeups and personalities that bring out warm, fuzzy emotions in the other, creating a kind of positive feedback loop through which they continue to make each other feel better. When you have a high degree of chemistry with someone, they monopolize your thoughts and/or your free time. You’ll stay up talking until the sun comes up and not even feel like an hour went by,” said Mark Manson.

4. Words aren’t necessary

A certain look or glance can tell you all you need to know. Your non-verbal communication is so powerful, there are times when there’s no need to speak all. You can relay feelings of longing, love, trust, and playfulness effortlessly.

5. You laugh easily

Laughter is key to a healthy relationship. You should find yourself laughing easily and often. Something is not right if you usually feel tense and uncomfortable around each other. The right relationship should feel like coming home.

“It’s a safe bet that most of the laughs married couples get come from TV laugh tracks, not from each other. They don’t emanate from the relationship. More important, they don’t feed it. And if the jokes that make the rounds by email are any gauge, often they are at the expense of it. But homegrown laughter may be what ailing couples need most. Uniquely human, laughter is, first and foremost, a social signal — it disappears when there is no audience, which may be as small as one other person–and it binds people together. It synchronizes the brains of speaker and listener so that they are emotionally attuned,” said Hara Estroff Marano, Psychology Today editor-at-large.

6. You have a visceral reaction

When you’re around the person you were meant to be with, the innermost parts of you react. The connection is undeniable and every muscle in your body responds in agreement. It’s more than just a passing feeling, it’s a physical reaction that you can’t seem to control. When you’re around each other, your body can’t help but respond automatically.

7. You can’t see yourself with someone else

Even if you try, you can’t imagine what your life would be like without this person. The thought of being apart is physically painful. You want to spend more time together and dread leaving each other.

While all these things signal a strong connection, don’t forget the importance of compatibility as well as shared interests and values. It is also important for you to respect each other. When all these factors are in harmony, you just know it’s right. When you’ve found the one, don’t let anything get in your way. Do as much as you can to try to be together. Life is too short to wonder “what if.” Life let your paths cross for a reason, so take your chance while you still have it.

Read More: cheatsheet