South Africa’s vice-president unveils government-issued Grape, Apple and Berry flavored condoms

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South Africa’s deputy president prompted hilarity in Parliament when he unveiled a new brand of government-issued condoms.

Cyril Ramaphosa told MPs that ‘scientific development’ meant the flavoured condoms do not make a funny noise during use or smell bad – complaints which have plagued previous brand Choice.

Holding two wrappers containing the new Max condoms as he spoke, Ramaphosa confidently assured his Parliamentary colleagues:  ‘The Max condom is in response to what a number of people were saying.

The Max is for maximum pleasure, maximum protection, and it does not make noise at all.
Cyril Ramaphosa

‘They were saying that the other condom that had been introduced by government did not smell so well, and it made a noise whenever it was used.

‘Now, through scientific development, we were able to develop a new condom that is called Max.

‘The Max is for maximum pleasure, maximum protection, and it does not make noise at all.’

He said the smell issue had been addressed too.

Ramaphosa said: ‘And it comes in different flavours.

Rampahosa is a frontrunner to take over from the embattled President Zuma at the ruling ANC¿s elective conference next year

Rampahosa is a frontrunner to take over from the embattled President Zuma at the ruling ANC’s elective conference next year

‘If you want a grape flavour you can get a grape flavour, if you want an apple flavour you can get an apple flavour.’

Behind him, senior ANC MPs rolled their eyes and shook their heads as MPs catcalled, clapped and called out ‘give them to Zuma’, in reference to the president’s failure to use condoms with an HIV-positive woman he was accused, and later acquitted, of raping.

Zuma told the trial that he had taken a shower after sexual intercourse instead.

Ramaphosa, the former leader of a mining trade union whose wife is a medical doctor, told parliamentary question time that government research had suggested their previous brand, Choice, was not popular.

The new Max condoms replace Choice, which users complained made a lot of noise while they were being used

The new Max condoms replace Choice, which users complained made a lot of noise while they were being used

South Africa still has one of the highest HIV/Aids rates in the world, with an estimated seven million people suffering from the disease.

Recent research suggested that, although government distributes over half a billion condoms per year, only 36 per cent of people actually use condoms.

Mncedisi Filtane, an opposition MP, asked who cared to listen to noise ‘at that moment’.

Ramaphosa replied that they were merely responding to concerns from the users.

Rampahosa is a frontrunner to take over from the embattled President Zuma at the ruling ANC’s elective conference next year and is at present the acting president while Mr Zuma is on visits to Swaziland and China.

The deputy president held up the wrappers in the South African Parliament when he unveiled the new condom range

The deputy president held up the wrappers in the South African Parliament when he unveiled the new condom range

A multimillionaire businessman, he owns South Africa’s McDonalds franchise and also has interests in mining including a position on the board of British firm Lonmin, which put him at the centre of the tragedy that saw police shoot dead 34 of the company’s striking miners after he urged them to deal with the ‘dastardly criminals’.

He was, however, thought to have been Nelson Mandela’s pick to take over from him when he retired, and helped to draft South Africa’s liberal constitution.

Ramaphosa is known to be pained by the controversy surrounding Mr Zuma – which resulted in the ANC losing control of key cities including Johannesburg and Pretoria in recent local elections – but he has failed to speak out publicly.

Ranjeni Munusamy, associate editor of the Daily Maverick news analysis website, applauded his promotion of safe sex but said he should now declare his hand politically.

‘The country is in need of a firm hand to regain stability,’ she said.

‘If Ramaphosa does not grab the mantle soon, someone else will and he will be forced to slink back to the business world.

‘He might have to reinvent himself as a full-time salesman – perhaps of buffalos, burgers and condoms – when the pinnacle of his political ambitions is actually within reach.’

42 thoughts on “South Africa’s vice-president unveils government-issued Grape, Apple and Berry flavored condoms”

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