Expectations for the wedding night are high. The goal is to have the best sex of your life in the swankiest hotel room you’ve ever stayed in — all while managing to keep your eyes open after an exceedingly exhausting day.

But that’s not always how things pan out. Below are 21 first-person accounts of how newlyweds actually spent their very first night as husband and wife, according to Redditors and HuffPost readers.

1. “Having not eaten all day due to stress and nerves, we realized we were STARVING, and ordered Chinese food from the only place open at 4 a.m. We had more sex while waiting for food, then gorged ourselves on delicious Chinese food and fell asleep watching ‘Wayne’s World.’ It was actually awesome.”

2. “She sat on the floor in front of me. We watched TV while I took the 6,000 hairpins out of her hair. It was a horrible game of pick-up sticks as they were all intertwined. After that we crashed.”

3. “We slept in separate beds! #HotelBookingError!”

4. “We were married at the courthouse by the justice of the peace. We went and had lunch afterwards, a beer, then picked up our 2-year-old and went home. No fancy wedding, dress, or trip, but I married my best friend and that alone made it the best day of my life.”

5. “It was chaste. My in-laws got us a hotel room for the night in a cutesy inn. The room was directly above theirs.”

6. “We slept then woke up and ate cake naked in bed.”

7. “We got back to the hotel, I carried her across the threshold, and we began to consummate our vows. Moments after we started, there’s a knock at t