Religion will kill Nigeria if not tamed, says Wole Soyinka

Wole Soyinka, a professor and playwright, has warned that religion may bring about the downfall of Nigeria if it is not tamed.

Reacting to the recent spate of religious killings in Southern Kaduna, Soyinka wondered if religion has been more beneficial than detrimental to Nigerians.

He made the comments on Thursday at the presentation of ‘Religion and the Making of Nigeria’, a book written by Olufemi Vaughan.

“If we do not tame religion in this nation, religion would kill us,” he said.

“I do not say kill religion, though, I wouldn’t mind a bit if that mission could be undertaken surgically, painlessly perhaps, under anaesthesia, effectively sprayed all over the nation or perhaps during an induced pouch of religious ecstasy.

“However, one has to be realistic. Only the religiously possessed or committed would deny the obvious. The price that many have paid, not just within this society but by humanity in general, makes one wonder if the benefits have really been more than the losses.

“Can one think of any landscape without religious architecture?” the Nobel laureate asked.

“For both the monk and the cleric or spiritual leaders, it is simply no longer sufficient to say this or that form of conduct is not permitted by this religion or the other. Or those who do this or that are not true believers of this prophet or that avatar or sage for the simple reason that others, who dissociate themselves from conduct, which universally is condemned, are themselves declaring themselves partisan of their own in contradistinctions to others.”

Soyinka further noted that the “innocent” are usually the victims of religious confrontations and strife, adding that religion has been a “disaster” for the African continent since time immemorial.

“What, however, concerns the rest of us – no matter the internal wrangling, rivalries or controversies within any religion – what concerns us is that the innocent are often those who pay the highest price.

“Religion in the history of this continent has been a disastrous venture, a disaster in many zones and continues to be even so today.

“In this very nation, in Southern Kaduna, over 800 souls were brutally extinguished suddenly while the issue of grazing land versus farming is unquestionably part of the conflict. It is equally undeniable that religious differences have played crucial role in the conflict.”

“Professor Soyinka’s Nobel Prize was rigged” – Fayose’s aide, Lere Olayinka claims

Lere Olayinka, Media aide to Ekiti State governor Ayo Fayose, has said Professor Wole Soyinka’s Nobel Prize was rigged. Olayinka has been a rabid critic of the playwright and Africa’s first winner of the prestigious Nobel Prize in Literature ever since Soyinka grudgingly supported Muhammadu Buhari, over Goodluck Jonathan, in the 2015 presidential election which Buhari won.


Olayinka unleashed a twitter rant on Tuesday, alluding to Professor Soyinka’s recent outburst against Nigerians who criticized him for not ripping his American Green Card into shreds as soon as Donald Trump was elected the United States president last month. Soyinka, in protest for Trump’s campaign that was centred on racism and insults for all manner of groups, had vowed to leave America for good if the citizens made the mistake of electing Donald Trump. While he made the threat, most opinion polls showed Donald Trump’s opponent, Hillary Clinton, leading and was going to win.


Soyinka was later subjected to mockery by majority of Trump’s supporters in Nigeria. And few days after he wrote a scathing essay pushing back against their harassment on Social Media, he confirmed to an AFP journalist in South Africa that he had made good his promise by tossing the Green Card away. Then, few days after, he described as an embarrassment the idea that he shares same country with the ‘imbeciles and morons’ who keep harassing him.


Olayinka reacted on Twitter by insinuating that Soyinka’s Prize was a rigged one. His tweet:




Earlier, he had also hinted at his disgust for Soyinka’s endorsement of Buhari during the presidential election. He tweeted;


After criticising Buhari, Soyinka apologises for ‘miscommunication’

Wole Soyinka, a professor and playwright, has apologised for his criticism of President Muhammadu Buhari’s congratulatory message to Adama Barrow, president-elect of The Gambia.

After Barrow’s victory at the polls ended President Yahya Jammeh’s 22-year grip on power, Buhari had congratulated the West AFrican country, saying he was looking forward to a “smooth transition of power and working with the incoming President of The Gambia to deepen existing cordial relations between both countries”.

However, Soyinka, erroneously thinking Jammeh had won reelection, urged Buhari to avoid “congratulating petty little dictators”.

“President Buhari is congratulating the president-elect of Gambia, that lunatic who makes his citizens undergo hallucinogenic tests to prove that they are not witches on his farm,” the Nobel Laureate said on Monday.

“Please help me beg President Buhari, I don’t say he shouldn’t congratulate Trump because there is no way one can avoid Trump but you can avoid petty little dictators like Jammeh of Gambia who is the opposite of everything one would expect of the true African leader for his or he citizens. Please President Buhari, restrict yourself to those you absolutely have to congratulate.”

Subsequently realising his error, Soyinka apologised for his miscommunication and called for the prosecution of Jammeh “for his twenty-two years of boastful misrule and crimes against humanity”.

“Just before setting off for my media chat at Freedom Park, I was handed a Sunday newspaper with a comment on the recently concluded Gambian Presidential elections. I totally misheard the comment and thought that ex-President Jammeh had again succeeded in manipulating the votes to remain on the continent’s ‘sit-tight’ roll of dishonour,” he said.

“It turned out that I had obtained the wrong picture. The torturer and notorious administrator of hallucinogenic broths to citizens had been dethroned. I therefore take back my criticism of Nigeria’s message of congratulations.

“Let the entire West African sub-region and indeed the entire continent rejoice in the overthrow of the monatrocity who had sworn to rule for a billion years, a throw-back autocrat with delusions of eternal power who casually tossed opposition in dungeons and threw the keys away. It is now time to make Yahweh answer for his twenty-two years of boastful misrule and crimes against humanity.

“Once again, my apologies for the miscommunication. I rejoice with the long-suffering citizens of Gambia, encourage the rehabilitation of that land strip, and recovery of its existence in full liberty, freed of fear, and restored to dignity as part of the sentient species.”

Earlier, at Monday’s press conference, Soyinka had expressed anger at the public scrutiny of his threat to tear up his green card if Donald Trump won the US presidential election, saying it was “not the business of any stupid Nigerian to open his or her mouth” to challenge his decision to leave America.

“If I decide that I want to leave the United States and I want to leave it in a particular way, that’s my business,” he said.

“It’s not the business of the Internet; I don’t know what the excitation is all about. As the saying goes, why do Nigerians wail louder than the bereaved? What is your business?

“What is the business of any stupid Nigerian to open his or her mouth to challenge my right to say I am leaving? Did you get the green card for me? Do I eat in your house? The arrogance of some Nigerians is overwhelming. I don’t interfere with you, why would you interfere with me?”

Nigeria Was Sinking When Buhari Took Power – Soyinka

Nobel laureate, Prof. Wole Soyinka, has made good his promise to throw away his U.S residency green card and leave the United States, if Donald Trump won the presidential election. This came as he said that Nigeria was sinking when Buhari took power.

Soyinka had vowed that he would give up his permanent US residency should Trump win the election, as a way of protesting Trump becoming the President of the United States.

“I have already done it, I have disengaged (from the United States). I have done what I said I would do.

“I had a horror of what is to come with Trump… I threw away the (green) card, and I have relocated, and I’m back to where I have always been,’’ the 82-year-old told AFP on the sidelines of an education conference at the University of Johannesburg, South Africa.

The prolific playwright, novelist and poet won the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1986 and has been a regular teacher at US universities including Harvard, Cornell and Yale. At the same time, he said he would not discourage others from applying for a green card.

“It’s useful in many ways. I wouldn’t for one single moment discourage any Nigerians or anybody from acquiring a green card… but I have had enough of it,” he said.

Soyinka, one of Africa’s most famous writers and rights activists, was jailed in 1967 for 22 months during Nigeria’s civil war. He was reported to have recently completed a term as scholar-in-residence at New York University’s Institute of African American Affairs.

In the aftermath of Trump’s victory, social media had trended with calls by Nigerians on the laureate to destroy his US permanent residency.

He, however, fired back that he reserved the right to determine when to destroy the document. Soyinka also said yesterday that he was not surprised that President Muhammadu Buhari had lost popularity just 18 months into office, given the high expectations that greeted his coming to power he said:

“There’s nothing surprising to me about his losing popularity, it should be expected.  People wanted change, that word was not just a slogan, it was a promise.’’

Soyinka, who noted that Nigeria was sinking when Buhari took power, said But when he took over power, said: “Fulfilling political promises when you take over the reins of power and you have to clean up a lot of mess, it’s not easy,” said the Nobel prize-winning author.

The ex-military ruler has seen his approval ratings decline in recent months from 80 percent last year to 41 percent this September, according to analysis firm BMI Research. Soyinka said while Buhari was the better choice of the two candidates in last year’s  election where he squared off against ex-President Goodluck Jonathan, it was high time the country weaned itself off leaders with military backgrounds.

“I was not particularly enamoured of the idea of a military person continuing — for heaven’s sake, it’s been too long.

“I feel very passionate that it’s about time that we eliminated the last vestiges of military control, of military representation. It’s as if there are no brains outside the military,’’ he said.

Wole Soyinka finally destroys Green Card.

Nigerian Nobel prize-winning author, Wole Soyinka claimed on Thursday that he has already destroyed his US residency green card.


Soyinka said he would throw away his green card and depart the country if the Republican Presidential aspirant to the last month’s election, Donald Trump wins.


Afterwards, he had vowed to destroy the green card on Trump’s swearing in day, to protest against the Republican billionaire’s campaign speeches.


But he has now told Journalists in South Africa that, “I have already done it, I have disengaged (from the United States). I have done what I said I would do.


“I had a horror of what is to come with Trump… I threw away the (green) card, and I have relocated, and I’m back to where I have always been.”

RED CARD, GREEN CARD – Notes Towards The Management Of Hysteria – Wole Soyinka

I shall begin on a morbid note. One of the horror stories that emerged from the Daesh (Isis) controlled parts of Iraq was the gruesome tale of the mother who had a daughter affected by wanderlust, even in that endangered zone.

One day, when she looked for her to attend to some home chores, she found that she had gone missing yet again. As she searched, she shouted in frustration:  ”As Allah is my witness, I’ll kill that girl when I catch up with her”. A neighbor overheard and reported her to the Hisbah.

The mother was summoned by the mullahs who ordered her to put the child to death, since she had sworn by Allah. She refused, so they took the child by the legs and smashed her head against a wall. End of story. True or false? It certainly was published as true testimony. That is all I have to say to the ”literalists” who obsess over a time scheme of their own assessment. Thus, failure to have torn my Green Card ”the moment” that I learnt that Mr. Donald Trump had won the presidential elections of the USA. It did not matter what I was doing at the time – teaching, eating, swimming, praying, under the shower or whatever. Or a family member saying, ”Wait for me!” – speculatively please, no such disturbance ever took place. If it did however, I am supposed to contact the Nigerian media – to whom I have never spoken, and who never contacted me – except one – to beg permission to pursue a realistic definition of ”the moment”. Media fascism is however a subject for another day,

For now, that moment having passed, I must be culpable of breaking a solemn promise. By the way, since we are on the terrain of literalism, has anyone attempted to ”tear” or rip apart a Green Card? Even a Credit Card? For the average hands, that would take some doing! I have actually considered garden shears for a dramatic resolution, this being closer to my real profession.

I have been asked several times – interestingly only by the foreign media, with the exception of THE INTERVIEW – whether indeed I did make such a statement at any time, and whether I still intended to carry it out, and the answer remains a categorical ’Yes’.  Not recently, mind you, nor, in the inaccurate blazing  PUNCH headline of Thursday Nov. 16 , but in the accurate wording that is contained in the actual story on page 9. So, where and when did I first notably make that declaration. Answer: Addressing a group of students at Oxford University and fielding questions. It was NOT a public lecture. I have never summoned a press conference on the issue. The organizers did not invite the (unregistered) Association of Nigerian Internet habituees.  It was the accustomed student seminar format that moved from the light-hearted to the serious, the ridiculous and (hopefully) the profound and back again. I even used the encounter to compare my threat with the public antics of a former president  – unnamed, I assure you – who tore up his party membership card of a moribund ruling party. Whatever my failings, I do not lack originality, and I was not about to be find myself indebted to that contumacious general!

Nonetheless, did I mean what I said – that is, ’exiting’ the USA? Absolutely, and that is the very theme of this address. It will not attempt to deal with the notion of an exit time-table as conceived by others, as if even the incumbent US president and his replacement are not even permitted over two months to pack their bags and prepare to move in and out of the White House, but must exchange positions the very moment that a winner was proclaimed. Anyone would think that the Brexit Vote made it imperative for the Brits to plunge into the English Channel instantly, instead of negotiating two years for an orderly withdrawal. Plebians like me of course need far less time, nevertheless they do not uproot overnight. Any other proposition speaks of a permanent agenda, of frustration and hidden histories – such as opportunities to rehabilitate themselves in the public eye. There is also recession in the land, and I can understand the psychology of impotence and thus, transferred aggression. Let it be understood – before I move even one word further – that I interrupted my present commitment in the United States  solely for an  urgent meeting with the Ooni of Ife on an ongoing project. I am obliged to return to the US in a matter of two or three days to complete my interrupted mission. Fortunately, that mision is guaranteed to end long before the United States becomes Trumpland Real Estate.

And now we move from absurd, frankly idiotic distractions to Substance. Why, in any case, am I pulling out of the United States? Why – as demanded of me by some of my genuinely concerned and sober interlocutors around the world – why such an extreme reaction? Why the terminal response to the elections of another land? Also, and perhaps most crucially, why am I left virtually mouth agape at the furore my stance has engendered? I simply fail to understand why this has gone beyond a flurry of public commentary and hilarious cartoons, and turned into a masturbatory for some, a vomitory for others, and an epilleptic sanatorium for a self-reproducing number? Why, in genuine bafflement, do I experience astonishment? Why do people find this commonplace, accessible-to-all act so extraordinary?

The answers to all the forgeoing can be summed up in a familiar expression: a life of environmental sanitation, or call it – sanity.  My temperament requires a certain minimum level of environmental health to function properly. I use the word ’temperament’ as a historical fact, a personality development that first manifested itself all the way back to student days, and has remained consistent all my life. Nowhere is perfect, certainly not all the time. Nonetheless, every human being has this need, however approximate, some perhaps with objective awareness, others intuitively, some more acutely and intensely than others, especially when defined by their professions, occupations, social and other involvements. The craving is common to all humanity – if I am wrong, then I must have dropped from Mars.

Here now is a potted history of the choices made by this contributor over the years in pursuit of this need, all the way from student days. Read carefully and learn!

As a student in Leeds University, one of whose subjects was Spanish, I steadily refused to accompany other students on long vacation job opportunities in Spain, designed to make us master the spoken part of the language. Apart from the Isle of Man, I went to France and Holland instead, whose languages were not part of my studies. And yet I had already fallen in love with flamenco music – played for us from records by our Spanish lecturer, and was dying to watch flamenco dancing in the flesh. Language study however involves, as we all know, the study of a people´s history and culture. I had encountered the history of the Spanish Civil War, the violent overthrow of a legitimate Republican government, and the ’white terror’ of the Falangist leader, General Franco. I identified with the volunteer soldiers of the International Brigade. Spain was under boycott in parts of Europe, so there was a choice to be made. I refused to step into Spain until years after I had graduated and returned home, and General Franco was certified dead and buried. A personal choice.

Australia: It is now some twelve to fifteen years since I issued a Red Card to Australia, unannounced. That Red Card subsists till today. The occasion was a conference of PEN International, and I had made the usual visa application. When the forms arrived, I found  the requirements for applicants over 70 years (I think) so obnoxious, intrusive, and degrading that I refused to fill them. Negotiations with the Australian government by Australian PEN led to an exception being made for me. When it was communicated, I wrote back: Absolutely Not. I refused to be the token geriatric. That application document was highly disrespectful of age and I wondered what kind of mentality had crafted it, wondered if the Australians themselves knew what image was being projected in their name. I said to our go-betweens: Not for a moment am I equating myself with Desmond Tutu or Nelson Mandela, but they are older. Does it mean that, if they decide to visit Australia, you would subject them to this form of degradation?

Till today, I have routinely declined any invitation to Australia, a country I had visited years earlier to sumptuous hospitality. I learnt some time ago that the obnoxious requirements have been removed but have not bothered to check. The reason was this follow-up: a journalist heard about my absence from the PEN conference and made enquiries. He interviewed me and I told him the cause. After visiting the Australian embassy for their side of the story, he reported back that the diplomat in charge responded to his questions with the comment that the embassy was too busy with more important matters. did not make a fuss. My position was based on principle but, basically, it was a personal affair between me and Australia. It remains so till today.

China: I did not, could not visit China for years after Tienanman Square. I was dying to visit that remarkable nation of culture and history, itching to go with every invitation. The Chinese ambassador in Nigeria tried to win me over after the ousting of the Gang of Four. I declined, but accepted the books he had told me did not exist while the Thought of Chairman Mao ruled the waves.  Even when, years later,  one of the top American travel agents organized a visit of Nobel laureates with mouth watering honoraria, I could not bring myself to join others. Constantly swimming before my eyes was the image of armored trucks and tanks running over students encamped in Tienanmen Square, leaving behind rivulets of blood.  Before I eventually accepted an invitation from the University of Beijing, I checked with some of the dissident poets – was it a decent time to visit? Had sufficient time passed for the average survivor of that carnage to obtain closure?  Until they gave me the green light, I refused all invitations.  Again I did not fuss. I did not call an international press conference in the interim.

Back home to our continent  – this time,  post-Apartheid South Africa. How many of these hysterical purveyors of Internet obscenities – including some printed media – are aware that for nearly two years, I handed South Africa the Red Card? And why? Because of her then astonishing display of xenophobia, most  notably against Nigerians. I was a personal recipient of that treatment which took place – of all occasions imaginable – on the occasion of my visit to deliver a three-part memorial lecture in honour of the late Nelson Mandela. Undoubtedly, on that very occasion, there had been a misunderstanding over visa issuance. Nonetheless,  taken in the context of the rampant humiliation of Nigerians at the hands of South African authorities, and the South African civic pockets also, I went to the final lecture with my luggage. The moment I concluded the last of  my lectures, I insisted on being driven to the airport, silently shaking off the South African dust off my feet for ever. It was only to my hosts that I uttered the declaration that they were seeing me in their nation for the last time. Until I withdrew the Red Card, I did not summon the Press.

Now, how did that boycott end? It is a remarkable story which deserves its place in the narratives of sheer serendipity. It involved Dennis Brutus, the South African poet, an enlightened Head of Nigerian Immigration and, indirectly, Archishop Desmond Tutu and Albie Sachs, former chairman of the South African Constitutional Court. Also, retrospectively, the role played by Nelson Mandela’s widow, Graca Machel, during my ordeal at the airport. While the boycott lasted however, I declined between seven to nine invitations to South Africa, including a UNESCO event that was however billed to take place there. The ending of that boycott, like the beginning, was ultimately my private and personal decision.

Shall we take Cuba, that revolutionary island where I was personally decorated by Fidel Castro with the Felix Valera medal of honour?  Despite all efforts by the then Cuban ambassador to Nigeria, and very valued friends and colleagues in Cuba, I issued her my usual silent card some years ago. I found the execution of those ill-fated adventurers who tried to escape on a raft excessive, not forgetting the shooting down of a hi-jacked plane. Were their acts condemnable? Indisputably! Did the punishment fit the crime however? My answer is obvious – No.  Jose Saramago, the late Portuguese Nobelist had apparently taken the same position, as I found out when we both met at a subsequent event in Cuba when our Cuban boycotts eventually ended. Were we wrong or right? That is immaterial. The point is that neither called a press conference or publicised our individual decisions. They were personal decisions, made independently.

And so on, and on, and on….brief to prolonged, reluctant to instant boycotts of places of normally congenial roosting, for a variety of reasons, and dictated by individual temperaments. And so we come finally to Donald Trump, and the sometimes travesty of collective choice.

I was in New York during the run-up to elections. I watched this face, its body language, listened to his uncouth, racist language, his imbecillic harangues, the insults to other peoples, other races, especially the Hispanics, Africans and Afro-Americans, even citing once – I was told – Nigeria as an instance of the burdensome occupation of global space. I watched and listened, disbelievingly, since this was America, supposedly now freed to a large extent – as we like to believe and have a right to expect – from its lamentable history of racism. But I saw, not only this would-be president but – enthusing followers on populist a populist roll at the expense of minorities! I followed the fluctuating poll statistics. I began to warn my colleagues, friends, my family: listen, this thing is happening right before our very eyes. This is how it begins, how humanity ends up with Cambodia, with Rwanda, with Da’esh. We are watching a Hitlerite phenomenon. We are witnessing history in reverse, unravelling before a complacent world. I said to them, if this man wins, I am relocating. It had gone beyond a joke. They all said, it will never happen. Even a day to elections, some Nigerians, with whom I had a meeting in New York,  waved off the possibility. The entire world goofed – T.B. Joshua and other pundits, charlatans and experts alike.  A colleague at Harvard mentioned the celebrations that would follow the election, but shortly after, confessed his concerns, cursing the FBI man who had chosen to intervene at an unprecedented stage in the elections.

Again, I said to him, I shall relocate if Trump wins. He said, I’m coming with you, echoing numerous other colleagues to whom I had sounded the same alert. I promised them all political asylum! So, it was nothing new, the Oxford comment.

Whatever language I used is my familiar language, not the language of Da’esh or its local impotent surrogates.

Finally, here is something very personal, but I have to answer the question of my genuine interlocutors in matching sincerity.

Our US base and family home in California – Abacha instigated – faces a rock hill known as Mount Baldy. It has survived the menace of fires, so close to disaster that we were placed on evacuation alert a number of times and were once actually bundled out by the police for over forty-eight hours. A fireball overflew the house on one occasion, landed some distance from ours and consumed that unlucky home. Not too far away, an escaping family took a wrong turn and lost their lives in the flames. Nothing of such menacing interludes ever brought to the fore the remotest consideration of relocating! However – and let this be stressed to all those who are strangers to the world of images – for this individual called Wole Soyinka, the superimposition of the Trumpian face on those bare mountain slabs began to take on reality, a reality that probably became even three-dimensional, like the massive faces of those former US presidents that remain gouged into the peaks of Mount Rushmore in South Dakota, visited by millions. My environment, albeit a substitute one for our authentic home in the forests of Ijegba – had become compromised. That is all I shall write on the reality of superimposition – the notion of waking up every day of habitation and seeing on that mountain slab the face of Donald Trump on my borrowed preserve, where, from upstairs, I sometimes stood in bouts of  contemplation, especially whenever the house was empty.

For me, something is gone. Again, I speak for myself, not for my family who are, in any case, also American citizens, an acquisition that I have declined I cannot recall how often. Let me repeat, even that portion of empathy that comes from intimate occupancy and usage over the years, and where the products of my ”extra mileage” were born, has become violated. It is still home, second home, but one individual named Donald Trump – and his cohorts – have ruined its hard-earned  companionship and serenity, built up over the years. As I keep repeating, these issues are personal.

And so, back from our quick excursions to Asia and the Antipodes, what is so special about America that an agenda of abandonment creates such hysteria? I am incapable of double standards in these matters. Why do individuals feel threatened? I have never invited anyone to join me in my purely personal odyssey, begun before most of these sniveling upstarts were born. Is it the Green Card that sets America apart? Then perhaps it iis time to repay the compliment with a Red card, as in soccer. I am not aware that the world’s oxygen storage tanks are located in the US of A, so that we cannot breathe away from it. I shall always compliment the American success story on many fronts, including the fact that millions of migrants derive their very living – including crucial send-home remittances – from her generosity. Many of us will always be grateful to her government at the time for sheltering both our persons and our mission during the Abacha years. However, we are also individuals, with specific needs, different sensibilities, and definitions of productive environments and thus, up to this moment, my Wolexit stands.

It is a personal thing. Perhaps it will help even further if I remind you of what I wrote in my memoirs: YOU MUST SET FORTH AT DAWN. There I confessed that my greatest – and irrational – fear in exile was that if I died outside Nigeria, my well-meaning family, colleagues and friends, would bring my body home. I took firm steps. The thought of resting within that earth while it was trampled over by a despotic monster whom I thoroughly despised, was the absurd but all-consuming fear that I had all through that deadly struggle. Obviously that fear has been eliminated, but then, having watched this American Wonder rise to power through a contemptible denigration of my sector of humanity, through mockery and jeers of my origin, I no longer find that environment congenial either for work or leisure, and I have signaled my unambiguous intent to exit. No one else is invited.

Well now, a remarkable development.  I stated earlier that the issue is not just one individual called Donald Trump, but the human environment that he and his ilk have spawned, one that contributes to a toxic environment across the globe, with the rise of ultra-nationalism and exclusionist politics. That environment is however engendering counter aspects to that created by Trump’s lowest common denominator in followership. Spontaneous protests have sprung up across the country. Too late, I’m afraid, and ineffectual, since Democracy has the last word, and its rituals have been concluded. The law of the land will prevail. However, I have been considerably cheered by the spontaneous manifestation of this rejection of the shame and horror that a ”majority” has imposed on the totality.  Americans will have to live with it, but there is hope. Even  before the street protests, something rather strange had taken place.

On the very morning of the conclusion of elections when I switched away from one news channel to the next, the screen went suddenly blank. Then came a scrolled message that called for a quiet, peaceful revolution. It went on and on, without voice or images, and it was non-partisan, since it rejected not only Trump but Clinton as befitting candidates but declared American democracy a sham. It went on to complicate matters by identifying an individual – Bernie Saunders – by name as an acceptable leader of a new movement.  It excoriated past governance policies, dismissed even Obamacare as a failure – I disagree by the way – and urged viewers again and again to LET’S TALK ABOUT IT. LET’S MEET ON THE INTERNET. LET A PEACEFUL REVOLUTION BEGIN etc. etc. It could have been Channel 33 or 34, I am no longer sure.  A serious, viable movement? Maybe not sustainable under the present system, but it goes into that multi-faceted network that leads to the eventual sanitization of any socio-political environment. And then, latest of the latest, the state of California has mounted a referendum for secession, within her constitutional rights. Quite an unpredictable prospect but, much as I am predisposed to upheavals by vox populi, I prefer to be out of the environment, being a non-citizen.

Let me end with a Red Card to those noisome creatures, the nattering nit-wits of Internet: maybe Trumpland is not as despicable as the Naijaland you impose on our reality from your secure cesspits of anonymity. Go back to school. Your problem is ignorance, ignorance of whatever subject you so readily comment upon. Learn to study your subject before opening up on issues beyond your grasp. Sometimes you make one feel like swapping one green for another, out of embarrassment for occupying the same national space as you.  But don’t get nervous, or start jumping for joy too soon – the Nigerian passport is just as tough to rip, physically, as is the Green Card, so I’ll stay put in my private Green Belt – the one I have named the Autonomous Republic of Ijegba. I negotiate my relations with both peoples and nations from its internal protocols – yes, that is indeed arrogance for you, but an arrogance of several decades’ principled growth. I carry that patch of green with me, everywhere, in a secure, invisible, and inaccessible pouch! It is that warehouse of ingrained sensibilities that engendered my decision.

WOLEXIT stands – I coined that deliberately, to signify repossession of my space of legitimate decisions. The media can nitpick over details – that is your profession. At long last, totally oblivious of the ongoing cacophony that had sprung up in my absence, I finally did receive for the first time a brief questionnaire from a Nigerian journal, The INTERVIEW, and one other. I responded. My exit time schema applies, not yours. If it even becomes convenient to bring it forward, I intend to do so, but please don’t come at me with plaints of time imprecision. ! never discussed it with you, nor invited you to a private decision whose execution was already in the making. Do not try to browbeat me. It’s a waste of time – all you have to do is  immerse yourselves in my antecedents.


BREAKING: I’ll Tear My Green Card The Day Donald Trump Is Sworn In – Soyinka

Not altogether. The possibility was looming nearer and nearer, getting scarier and scarier.

What do you think Trump’s victory means for the world, especially Nigeria?

It’s brought an already teetering world closer to the precipice.

Do you think the victory of Trump, who threatened to build a Wall is a coincidence coming exactly 27 years to the day the Berlin Wall came down?

Trump’s Wall is already under construction. Walls are built in the mind, and Trump has erected walls, not only across the mental landscape of America but across the global landscape. I am glad you referred to the anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall – that was one anniversary in reversal!

Will you thrash your green card, as you reportedly said you would?

Come January 20, 2017; watch my WOLEXIT! (Donald Trump will be sworn-in as the 45th President of the United States of America on Friday, January 20, 2017)

At what point did it occur to you that Trump’s victory was inevitable?

As Election Day approached, the specter became near palpable. I refused to switch on the television this morning until I had stiffened myself with a strong espresso. I felt disaster in my marrow.

Behind Closed Doors: Buhari, Wole Soyinka Meet Inside Aso Rock.

Information reaching us has it that President Muhammadu Buhari and Nobel Laureate, Prof. Wole Soyinka, are currently meeting inside the Presidential Villa, Abuja.


The meeting is holding behind closed doors inside the President’s office. The meeting is expected to last for hours. However, the agenda of the meeting described as a private one was not made public.


Stay with us for more details later

I Agree With Those Who Say The Economy Is Bad, Soyinka Tells Buhari

Apparently worried by the continuous decline in the nation’s economy, Nobel laureate, Prof. Wole Soyinka, yesterday, called on President Muhammadu Buhari to convene an emergency economic conference for experts to brainstorm on the way forward and future of the economy.


The Nobel laureate made the call when he paid a courtesy call on the Minister of Information and Culture, Alhaji Lai Mohammed, in Abuja. According to Soyinka, the conference became necessary to enable experts diagnose the problems currently facing the country and make necessary recommendations for government to get the economy out of the woods.


He said: “I agree with those who say the economy is bad. It is obvious and it is so bad. I think the Presidency should call an emergency economic conference where experts will be enlightened. “We really need an emergency economic conference, bringing experts together to march the nation forward. I think the economy is not encouraging. Quite frankly, I think most economists will agree with this.”

Don’t wait to see a bonanza economy While urging Nigerians to be patient with the present administration, the Nobel laureate urged them not to expect an end to the present hardship as it would linger for a long time.


“Don’t wait to see a bonanza economy in the next few months to a year. Recovery is going to take time. But at the same time, we have to rely on the objective analysis of experts to tell the government when it gets bad, which might compound the problem and ultimately left the people as victims.


“At the beginning, this cabinet had no Culture but had Information ministry. We had to scream, before the Ministry of Culture later came,” Soyinka said.


Cautions on human rights abuse

Asked to rate the performance of Buhari’s administration, he said though it might be too early to assess the administration’s performance, it would be right for the government to recognise the provisions of the law and constitution of the land to avoid violation of the fundamental human rights of people.


He said: “My attitude to the performance of the present administration is that the rule of the law should be followed. I belong to any government which is very patient to getting results. I have a very clear idea of governance tempo. “If that goal is attained by constitutional means, if nothing else, it would have moved this nation forward. “The tempo of motion, for me is very reasonable.


For me, I would say more than reasonable. But on the human right side, we have to watch very carefully to see if that can be achieved without forfeiting the fundamental human rights of people, which form the basis we derive from citizenship. “I will say, while the human right is respected, governance should move on, which I believe most Nigerians approve.


“What is going on now is an exposure of open robbery in their faces, while the government should damn the consequences of its action, with ethical rigour without minding whose ox is gored. “Government, for me, is a very complicated matter and there is a lot of debris to be cleared. Maybe, we need to be a little bit more patient to see what the administration will do.”



Credit : Vanguard

My New Book Will Draw Blood – Soyinka Warns

Nobel Laureate Prof. Wole Soyinka yesterday vowed to “draw blood” with his latest book, InterInventions. 

The book ,InterInventions, Between Defective Memory and Public Lie, A Personal Odyssey in The Republic of Liars, was presented to the public at the June 12 Cultural Centre Kuto, Abeokuta by the Edo State governor, Adams Oshiohmole.Soyinka said.
“(InterInventions), it is the nastiest book I have ever written. It is so truthful that it hurts… it is my vengeance against public lies. It is not one of the butterfly books. No, it is not a butterfly book.
“I want to draw blood (with it). I’m warning all of you, if you feel vengeful, read this book and you
will be alright. It is like homeopathic medicine.”

Soyinka is ignorant, mischievous – Oyinlola fires back at Soyinka

A former Governor of Osun State, Prince Olagunsoye Oyinlola, has described the Nobel laureate, Professor Wole Soyinka’s criticism of him over the status of the Centre for Black Culture and International Understanding, Osogbo, as ignorance and mischief.

One of Oyinlola’s aides, who spoke on condition of anonymity, said Oyinlola was surprised that Soyinka was fighting over a centre, whose creation he opposed in 2008.

 “There is a sense in which one can excuse his outburst because it seems he does not understand the mechanism that established the institute.

He is simply ignorant. He is talking as if the centre is just an Osun thing, whereas its status is that of a trust in which Osun State is a major stakeholder just as the Federal Republic of Nigeria and UNESCO are.

“That is why, on the board, each of these stakeholders has a representative. The Federal Ministry of Culture is representing the Federal Government. Osun is represented by the state’s Ministry of Culture. Prof. Peter Okebukola is on the board, representing the Olusegun Obasanjo Presidential Library, Abeokuta while the late Uli Beier family is also represented. So, how can an individual or a party claim ownership of such a centre?

“But we know that beyond ignorance, Soyinka is also being mischievous. Someone of his status should know the facts. He also ought to know that all he is doing is medicine after death and it ought to be a matter of shame because he opposed the establishment of the CIBU when we were struggling to get UNESCO approval.”

Buhari Is ‘Born Again’ – Prof. Wole Soyinka Says

In an interview with EFCC’s periodic magazine, Zero Tolerance, Nobel Laureate, Wole Soyinka described president Buhari as a born-again phenomenon in Nigerian politics, saying although Buhari is yet to apologize for some of the things he did in the past, he has accepted some of his mistakes and has paid some debts to the Nigerian community.

“Buhari has not brought himself round to apologise; if he had done that, I might have been less ambiguous about him. But I think from my findings about him, he is a born again phenomenon. If I am wrong, well, too bad. Though I don’t believe in ‘born-againism’ but I think this may be an exception.” Soyinka said.

Soyinka Denies Making Disparaging Statement Against Igbos

An angry Wole Soyinka, Wednesday, lashed out at news outlets which credited to him with a disparaging statement against the Igbo ethnic group in Nigeria.

In a terse statement, Mr. Soyinka attributed the report to the handiwork of “cowards” who fasten their “imbecilic pronouncements” on others.

“I have just read a statement attributed to me on something called The Cable, a news outlet, evidently one of the Internet infestations,” said Mr. Soyinka, a professor of Comparative Literature.

“My lecture at the Hutchins Centre, Harvard University, was video recorded. Anyone who believes what I am alleged to have said must be a moron – repeat, a moron.

“It is demeaning, sickening and boring to have to deal with these cowards who cannot fight their own battles but must fasten their imbecilic pronouncements on others.

Several online news media (not PREMIUM TIMES) had reported Tuesday that Mr. Soyinka had described the Igbos as a “greedy” group.

“The Igbos are probably the only group of Nigerians that you can predict with great accuracy whom they will vote for in an election, because they tend to put their votes where their stomachs take them; suffering as it were, from incurable money-mindedness, as they would stop at nothing in their quest for personal financial gain,” Mr. Soyinka was quoted as saying.

The Nobel Laureate had delivered a lecture on April 29th titled, ‘Predicting Nigeria? Electoral Ironies’ at the Belfer Centre for Science and International Affairs in the U.S.

The alleged comment ignited a scathing backlash against Mr. Soyinka on social media as critics likened the statement to the anti-Igbo speech of Rilwanu Akiolu, the Oba of Lagos.

But Mr. Soyinka denied making such a statement.

“Only the mentally retarded will credit this comment attributed to me regarding the Ndigbo voting pattern in the last elections,” he said.

“I strongly suspect the author of this despicable concoction, and may make a further statement, once the source is verified.”

Credit – premium times

The ‘Tree Shakers ’ By Olu Onemola

The ‘Tree Shakers’ have existed throughout Nigeria’s lengthy and often tumultuous history. They were the Herbert Macaulay’s of the 1940s – the brave men and women who formed the Nigerian National Council to demand our independence from British rule. They were the young Wole Soyinka’s of our country’s golden age, the energetic citizen-soldiers who took over radio stations to protest against election manipulations. They were also the Bola Ige’s of the dark Abacha days – the men and women who bravely challenged the despotic status quo and spoke truth to almost-absolute power.

The Tree Shakers also manifested in Babangida’s time. They were the student union leaders – cut across the breadth of our federal universities. These students like Omoyele Sowore – the then student government president of UNILAG who is now the publisher of Sahara Reporters – defied executive orders and military blockades to push for better conditions in their universities and the country as a whole. They were ably facilitated with the civilian-militant organizing capacity of trade union groups like the Academic Staff Union of Universities (ASUU)  – which was then led by the current Chairman of INEC, Professor Attahiru Jega – and the Nigerian Labour Congress (NLC). Together, these groups ultimately formed the irreversible thorn that led to the loosening of the Babangida government’s ironclad hold on Nigeria’s affairs.

Needless to say, Moshood Kashimawo Olawale Abiola was also a Tree Shaker. A uniting figure whose memory stands as the unforgettable cornerstone of Nigeria’s road to return to democratic rule. His victory in the annulled June 12, 1993 presidential elections that is still characterized as Nigeria’s freest and fairest till date, makes him the quintessential Tree Shaker because he never got to ascend the mandate that he secured for himself and Nigerians at the polls.

If we go back to examine the beginning of our collective past, we will start to understand that those that have worked to make Nigeria better – the activists, the vibrant academics, the ‘tell-the-truth-as-it-is’ journalists, the fearless politicians, and the everyday Nigerians that have wrestled against overwhelming odds to achieve the objectives of our common struggles have never been the inheritors of their own successes. This is because while the Tree Shakers are busy doing all the work: organizing, protesting, knocking on doors – shaking the tree of liberty to reap the fruits of its dividends – the opportunistic few, the strongmen, the ‘Fruit Pickers’ – are those that have constantly been at the receiving end of the returns of democracy.

Yes, Herbert Macaulay founded the Nigerian National Council to set the stage for Nigeria to become independent, but ultimately, Nnamdi Azikiwe became our first President. Yes, Moshood Abiola won the June 12, 1993 elections, but he spent the rest of his life behind bars because he was considered a ‘threat’ to the military hegemony of the time. Yes, the likes of Bola Ige fought for Nigeria’s democratic freedom during the Abacha years, but Olusegun Obasanjo was the one chosen by the elites to represent Abiola and Nigeria’s lost mandate at the polls in 1999. The picture becomes clearer, and as we transition towards this new administration, under the leadership of General Buhari, it is important to ask ourselves: “Who were the Tree Shakers in the recently concluded polls?”

Some might suggest a few popular names like Bola Tinubu – but it has become increasingly clear that he already has a role to play in this incoming administration. In addition to this, it is very important to state that as the APC forms its new government, the impacts and effects of leaders the likes of Atiku Abubakar, Babatunde Fashola, Kayode Fayemi, Adeleke Mamora, Bukola Saraki, Abike Dabiri, Nasir El Rufai, Osita Okechukwu and Pat Utomi in the 2015 elections must never be downplayed. These individuals served as rallying points and game-changers when it mattered most. Their contributions to the new Nigerian project – from strategy, to policy development, to organizing capacity – shook the tree that led to the first defeat of an incumbent government in Nigeria’s democratic history.

But beyond the ‘big men’ mentioned above, many will agree that the true ‘Tree Shakers’ are the young men and women who knocked on doors, made stump speeches, participated in debates, protested in public parks, wrote articles, fired missile-like tweets, fact-checked the outgoing administration on inconsistencies, and convinced their peers that the APC was the party to vote for. Yes, the few individuals mentioned above served as overt ‘game changers’, but many of the covert champions of the APC’s unprecedented victory like Akin Oyebode, Hadiza Bala Usman, Moji Rhodes, Tolu Ogunlesi, Japheth Omojuwa, Olusegun Dada, Ismaeel Ahmed, Rinsola Abiola, and Bisoye Coker led the youths of Nigeria to invest their hopes and trust of a better tomorrow in a 72 year old man.

In this regard, now that the fruits have fallen from the tree and political offices are about to be harvested to chart a new course for a more effective and inclusive Nigeria – as a nation that has continuously made the mistake of forgetting those that have toiled to make Nigeria better – with the mistakes of our past as our guide towards correcting our future – the new APC government must not set aside the Tree Shakers of 2015 – otherwise, we stand the danger of returning to the status quo days of ‘strongman’ nepotistic politics.

Ultimately though, there is ample hope that come what may, the youth leaders of the new Nigeria will have significant roles to play in this government. This is because this energetic generation of Tree Shakers already knows what it takes to disturb the tree of democracy to achieve their aims of a better Nigeria. Therefore, if they are not listened to and included in the decision-making processes of this incoming government, come 2019, they might just have to shake the tree once again.

I rest my case.

Olu Onemola tweets @Olu1NE

Bunch Of Criminals Conspiring To Thwart The Will Of The People – Soyinka Slams Rivers Polls

Nobel Laureate ,professor Wole Soyinka has slammed the presidential and governorship elections in Rivers state ..Speaking to Channels on Sunday afternoon, he said

 “If you talk about democracy, I am afraid, we are still below 40 per cent.There is no question in my mind that what happened in Rivers State during the presidential and assembly elections are, well, complete atrocious and the finger points definitely at the kind of middle character that I am talking about.”

“Elections are supposed to enable us to avoid response in violence to mis-governance; you know, you wait when you are dissatisfied or your rights have been abused; citizens wait for that moment when they can exercise their voice and then some bunch of criminals calling themselves governors, calling themselves generals, calling themselves ministers, conspire to thwart the will of the people,”

President Jonathan Is Surrounded By A Very Sinister Force – Wole Soyinka

Nobel laureate Wole Soyinka has said President Jonathan is in “a cage” and “surrounded by a very sinister force”.

The 80-year-old man of letters, said, in a Guardian interview, that President Jonathan didn’t strike him “as being aware of the forces which surround him”.

Soyinka cited the president’s surprised reaction when he (Soyinka) told him Morocco has withdrawn their Ambassador to Nigeria:

“Here is a situation where a president did not even know that a foreign country, a friendly country, had withdrawn its ambassador from Nigeria. I was the one who told him. He jumped up as if his seat was on fire. I couldn’t believe it … He was not aware that for about five days the media had been absolutely hysterical with this embarrassing situation between the two. It was that very night that he made a public statement about it for the first time.

“So when I say that there is a force around, I know what I’m talking about. There is a very sinister force in control and it is that sinister cabal which is responsible for caging him in and showing him what they think he should know about and keeping away from him things which are not in their interest, and this for me is the most dangerous situation that any nation can be in.”

Source –

I Know Those Behind The Plot To Form An Interim Government —Wole Soyinka opens up

Nobel laureate, Proffessor Wole Soyinka, has told SaharaTV about a plot to impose an interim government in an attempt to scuttle Nigeria’s upcoming elections. The popular activist said after investigating the plot he approached President Goodluck Jonathan to find out if he is involved…

According to the professor, President Jonathan denied any involvement in the illegal scam.

Prof. Soyinka warns Nigerians that if care is not taken a shadowy group of former and serving military generals including some politicians might overthrow Nigeria’s democracy. Nigerians, be on the alert! Watch the video above for more details

Wole Soyinka Slams Presidency For Use Of ‘Vulgar Abuse,Crude Language At Campaigns

Nobel laureate, Prof. Wole Soyinka has condemned the use of crude and vulgar abuse of language during electioneering campaigns in the country .He also fingered the presidency as the major culprit. Speaking yesterday in Lagos at the public presentation of a book titled “Modern and Tradition Elite in the Politics of Lagos” written by Ambassador Patrick Dele Cole ,he said Nigerians have never been so subjected to what he called “sheer venom, crudity and vulgar abuse of language in such prodigal quantities as in this current political exercise”,

“All of us here have passed through the electoral process furnace before now and I suspect we would mostly agree that never before have we been subjected to this level of sheer venom, crudity of and vulgar abuse of language in such prodigal quantities as in this current political exercise.(Continue)
“The very gift of communication, considered the distinguishing mark of cultured humanity even in polemical situations, has been debased, affecting even thought processes, I often suspect. Speaking as objectively as is possible in such circumstances, I would say that, among the various camps, the most reckless and indecorous has sadly proved the incumbency camp, where restraint has been thrown to the wind with such abandon that even highly privileged spouses have publicly urged supporters to stone any voices raised in opposition to their cause.”

60 Reasons Not To Vote Jonathan – Soyinka

Addressing students, Wole Soyinka said he has sixty reasons not to vote for the Jonathan regime.

“I will not vote and I will not encourage  anyone to vote for the continuation of this government, simply because your colleagues numbering over two hundred were kidnapped”, Soyinka told students at the 2015 edition of Vision of the Child (VOTC), a yearly programme inaugurated in 2012.

“And the government of this nation failed to show leadership.  So anyone who says after that event that I will vote or cast my vote or encourage anyone to vote for this regime must be living in Sambisa forest,” Soyinka said, referring to a forest in Borno State where the Chibok girls are believed to be held by Boko Haram.

“There has been a failure of leadership. Our children whom you represent today have been betrayed ,” Soyinka said, adding that no appropriate action was taken to rescue them.

Soyinka said it took the Jonathan government ten days to even accept that the Chibok girls were missing.

“After that dereliction of duty, after that failure of leadership, after that betrayal for our future, for anyone to think or to put words in my mouth suggesting that I will vote or encourage anyone to vote for this regime is a travesty of intelligence,”Soyinka said.

Read More:

#KakandaTemple: In Defence of Sadiq Abacha


Abacha, our Abacha, the last of the true Generals and defenders against western imperialism, is dead and Nigerians, whose cowardice is both genetic and legendary, have become activists united against his ghost.

You see, our activists only pick a fight with the dead, they pick a fight with this dead soldier, because they lack the “street credibility” to mobilise the people against living politicians—merely to prove their bravery to their white sponsors who, they pretend they don’t know, are just manipulative imperialists exploiting the poverty expressed in their demonstrations of patriotism. Even those cockroaches who remained in the dark, unspeaking all through Abacha years, have now gained baritone voices, fabricating stories of their “involvements” and “engagements” in “pro-democracy struggles”, as they queue behind a frail old man, Wole Soyinka, to vilify Abacha and even us.

Yes, every family that didn’t use “Abacha stove” in those good years are now seen as accomplices in the fall of this country.

But why is everyone hating on us? When is it a crime to be an ajebota? So because our colleague, Sadiq Abacha, finally condescended, after persistent persuasions, to lecture your role model, Wole Soyinka, an asylum-seeking common writer whose schizophrenia is no longer a rumour, you’re calling for our heads? Is it our fault that your parents are not smart enough to get rich? That you used “Abacha stove” in those years was because you were poor and your father was broke. Your improved conditions today is a testimony that Abacha had given you opportunities to secure education, though understandably substandard, but still better than what’s obtainable at your schools now, which made you smarter than your parents.

It’s so interesting that Nigerians who were in their panties, all below age 10, in Abacha’s regime, are the most outspoken critics of his government today. They didn’t really experience the time, but are critics now, having been indoctrinated by the famously biased media representations of the South-romanticising Lagos-Ibadan press who are ever quick to vilify northerners that refuse to offer fat brown envelopes to their owners. Do not mistake your childhood naïveté for history, little tigers. You may consult your senior colleagues who were part of the two-million youths march organised by Daniel Kanu-led Youths Earnestly Asking for Abacha, that tampered with the blood pressure of CIA-controlled media moguls in the West.

Lazy journalism is responsible for all the Abachas have passed through in these past horrible years, and despite all he has done for the country. Is it not true, as Sadiq highlighted, that Inflation went from 54% to 8.5% under Abacha? Is it not true that our foreign currency reserves increased from 494 million dollars in 1993 to 9.6 billion dollars by the middle of 1997? Is it not true, also, that our peacekeeping operations were the hope of this continent? Things fell apart after the death of Abacha.

Today, you say that Abacha stole money, but can you tell me any Nigerian president or head of state, living or dead, that didn’t do the same? Abacha didn’t expect his death, which was why he couldn’t tie the loose ends of his offshore accounts. The others, before and after him, were lucky. How is the present any different from Abacha’s days? Did the presidency, under Goodluck Jonathan, not steal $20 billion? Did the security personnel, under Goodluck Jonathan, not kill unarmed protesters during the fuel subsidy removal protests? Did the presidency, in a democratic system, not suspend a CBN Governor by decree? You even say that Abacha killed Ken Saro Wiwa, but he was not the Judge who headed the tribunal set up to try Wiwa. You don’t even know what Wiwa did. If Justice Ibrahim Auta who tried Wiwa had no conscience, he wouldn’t have become the Chief Judge of the Federal High Court. See? History is already pulling Abacha out of this lake of propaganda designed by NADECO leaders, former exiles-turned-politicians, who only succeeded in teaching us how to loot national resources with wisdom – through ownership of newspaper houses to counter political witch-hunts and vilifications.

The judiciary has cleared Major Hamza Al-Mustapha of trumped up charges of responsibility in the killings of the pro-NADECO, so why are we pointing finger at the ghost of Abacha still? Our soldiers who were the toast of every pop singer and apple-offering Indian dame in Abacha days are now being used for experiments in guerrilla warfare by ordinary Aboki terrorists. Shame! And if Abacha were a bad person, General Muhammadu Buhari, the only morally upright elder in the country right now wouldn’t have served under him, overseeing implementations of populist projects as head of Petroleum Trust Fund.

See, let me tell you something, those miserable countrymen overseas, who have turned Abacha vilification into a career, in their campaign to defeat him, his ghost that is, are not honest with you. They’re doing so to justify their continuous stay, long after the death of the General, in those grand European and American cities where, from washing dead bodies of lower-class white people, they have acquired education and even managed to secure small jobs, validating their claims of “living large”. I have seen them, misery wrinkled in their faces, in my many holidays outside Nigeria.

Everyday they upload photos on Facebook and Twitter and Instagram with accompanying captions “Chillling tinz”, “YOLO” and even “Life is Good…” to introduce us to their realities which are blurred by photoshopping. Those tax-evading asylees and migrants are everything but comfortable. Their life is a lie, a fraud that gets them attacking the Abachas. They were there on claims of persecution by Abacha. One, a famous novelist, has been going from campus to campus, Harvard to Princeton, telling the white people that he, an incomparable genius, was on death row in Nigeria and that he had seen prisoners nailed on ceilings from their penises, thanking his gods, the white men and their liberalism, for rescuing him, away from Abacha, away from Babangida, away from Buhari, and making him a better person. But, wait for it, unholy shame, my good friend, a freelance investigative blogger has exposed him: your novelist has never ever been anywhere close to a police counter, let alone a maximum security prison. But he still vends those fabrications to make a living in America, to demonise you and your country. Yet you celebrate him!

I know, my dear countrymen, you do not understand the game of this army of pretend activists overseas, who have scammed us all, used you as foot soldiers of their fabrications. This is not fault of yours, I blame it on your schools. Did you actually know the three classic laws of thoughts before reading Sadiq’s powerful letter to Soyinka? Instead of thanking Sadiq for that free tutorial, you’re cussing us. For what? Is it also our fault that, having graduated from schools where you shared classrooms with lizards, the laws of thoughts seem like obscure lines from Shakespeare’s unpublished play – The Incomprehensibiliad? Why must we always be the scapegoats of your failures? Were you there when our parents were looting your treasury? Who are your witnesses? Those silly things you see in the media are sponsored. Not that I expect you to believe me, anyway. You’re all incapable of thinking without those abstruse rants of your sadistic journalists and columnists, which is why we’re organizing a party to celebrate brother Sadiq’s victory this weekend.

Sadiq didn’t address his letter to you for a reason. He knows you lack the intellect to comprehend the microeconomics of government, and even the Nobel laureate himself was correctly taught elementary philosophy to enhance his cognitive abilities, before he was intellectually taken to the cleaners. I love how Sadiq deconstructed your Soyinka, an overrated professor who has no PhD. Shame. Our friend, a certified ajebota, Salihu Dasuki Nakande got his PhD at age 24. The paragraph below, a necessary education for you and your amnesiac professor, is what we call knockout in boxing:

“You say, with the weight of your sense of history and the authority you possess on national issues that ’a vicious usurper under whose authority the lives of an elected president and his wife were snuffed out‘ referring to my late father, you must be growing old, or you would rightly recall that that president elect you refer to did not die while my father was alive.”

Busted. This historical revisionism alone is enough for the forfeiture of his Nobel Prize. Thank you, Sadiq. Let’s re-educate these emotionally petty, ignorant, hate-mongering, angry young men being played by the Establishment. See you in Miami shortly. We love you, bro!

Gymber Cacandah,
CEO, Cacandah Oil & Gas.

Ps: If you think I was not an ajebota in Abacha years because you knew when Ya-Kulu was sending me to go get chaff at Dogo Mai-Injin’s place, God is watching you. May God save us from us!

By Gimba Kakanda
@gimbakakanda on Twitter