African Leaders Should Pay More Attention To Peace, Development- Buhari

President Muhammadu Buhari on Monday tasked  African leaders on the need to ensure socio-political stability in their respective countries to achieve peace and speedy regional and sub-regional integration in the continent.

Speaking at a joint press briefing with the visiting Liberian President Ellen Johnson Sirleaf, after a closed door meeting in the Presidential Villa, Abuja, Buhari noted that, even though the situation in the ECOWAS sub-region was relatively stable, there was the need to continue to persuade the leaders to pay more attention to security and development.

“The situation in our sub-region is relatively stable but there is the need for us to continue to persuade our colleagues to show appreciation on the efforts the sub-region is doing to make sure that we pay more attention to security and development.”

“I have appreciated very much your efforts and I also congratulate you on your successes. I believe you may even go outside the region, to African Union, so that before the AU meeting we try and persuade the leadership of those countries in our sub-region  to show more patience and accommodation with politics of their countries, President Buhari said.

The President stated that the forthcoming 3rd Dakar International Forum on Peace and Security would discuss some political developments in two countries of the sub-region.

Buhari commended the Liberian leader for handling the affairs of the  ECOWAS diligently and  efforts in stabilising her country.

He added that “I have to very sincerely congratulate you with the way you have stabilised your country and with the small contributions Nigeria was able to make through out those difficult times that you went through.

“And also thank you very much on the way you are handling ECOWAS responsibility.

“We have one or two countries that I believe we will discuss when we go to Senegal today, tomorrow and maybe on Wednesday, in terms of peace and security.’’

In her remarks, the Liberian leader who is also the Chairperson of the Heads of State and Government of the ECOWAS  nations,  said she was in Nigeria to be updated on the focus and challenges of the work of the ECOWAS Commission

According to her, the visit is also meant  enable her meet with the entities of ECOWAS, the Commission, the Parliament and the Courts in preparation  for the forthcoming Summit of the Authority  of the ECOWAS, slated for Abuja on Dec. 17.

She stressed the need for leaders in the sub-region to continue to maintain peace and stability to achieve regional integration and economic prosperity.

“I’m glad once again to be back in Abuja. I’m using the opportunity of this visit to be updated on the focus and challenges of the work of the ECOWAS Commission,  to meet with the entities of ECOWAS, the Commission, the Parliament and the Courts in preparation  for the reports I will present at the Summit of the Authority, which will be held here in Abuja, on Dec. 17.

“But,I’m so greatful that while here, I reached out to the President and asked him for the opportunity to call on him to be able to brief him on some of the findings I have had in my two days of consultation with the commission.

 “I also exchange with him  some of the developments in our sub-region, political development; economic development, and to get his wise counsel on how we can ensure that we monitor the situation in  all the West African countries so as  to maintain peace and stability in all of our countries” she said.

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Truths You Should Know About Porn Addiction

1. The digital age allows a crazy amount of access to porn. In this way, access might contribute to addiction. “I think the dawn of the internet age of porn has definitely increased our access — it’s everywhere,” Drucker says. “You could literally be looking at porn now 24 hours a day if you were so inclined, when that hasn’t always been the case.” Anderson agrees, equating porn addiction to alcohol addiction: “Because of this easy way to access everything and this kind of technological age, we have so much access. So we have to just think about it because it’s rampant .

2. In order to understand porn addiction, we must first define addiction. There is some controversy over whether porn addiction actually exists. But recovering addicts are adamant about the legitimacy of their addiction. “I think it’s the act of disconnection from your world and not wanting to be present,” Lauren says. “And I think for me, that defines addiction, and if that’s taking you away from your career, your responsibilities, from your love life, then it’s an addiction. So if I’m going off that philosophy, then 100 percent porn is an addiction.” Still, sex addiction has been repeatedly rejected by the American Psychiatric Association. “I really think it’s important to differentiate between experience and what the data says. If you have a specific experience and you believe it, then it’s perfectly valid. But you don’t want to generalize that to everybody else. That’s why we have experts who are combing through the data,” O’Reilly says.

3. The stereotype that porn addiction is some guy with a gallon of lube in his mother’s basement is unfairly taking women out of the equation. “When I sought recovery, talking about females dealing with porn addiction was rare,” Lauren says. “And I ended up in sex addiction anonymous and was one of the four women in the state of Alabama seeking help, and, on top of it, I was the only one under the age of 30. So today, I’m so grateful to see that there’s programs popping up for women specifically because they are a part of this demographic dealing with porn and sex addiction.”

4. Porn addicts say the aftermath of the addiction is a disconnection from actual sexual intimacy, or “sexual anorexia.” Schmuley believes that as the addiction grows, porn no longer stimulates sexual intimacy. “It actually becomes the substitute,” he says. Lauren says when combatting that, you can end up going on the other end of the spectrum. “Something I learned right when I entered therapy is when people are in there for porn and sex addiction, they go from having a compulsive behavior to completely turning it off and losing all sex drive. And I was stuck in this — they call it sexual anorexia — for five years. I could not get out of it worth the life of me.”

5. Porn addiction may not be the main problem; it may be a symptom of something else. “I think for me, it was the act of disconnecting from the world that I lived in,” Lauren says. “I grew up in a very toxic Christian environment where it was very black-and-white thinking, where women’s value was in their sexual purity … So I grew up in a world where sex is so taboo, and for me, masturbation and pornography really disconnected me from reality, and it was something that helped me run away from stress and insecurities.”

6. A huge part of the recovery process is reshaping what sexuality means to you. Lauren’s therapist has pushed her to reframe sex positively instead of associating it with guilt. “I think the beautiful thing that I found in recovery is I know that sexuality is a beautiful part of being human and a part of a way of connecting with people. I’ve had to work really hard in reshaping my beliefs around that, which has been a huge crux of the last eight years … I personally do not watch porn, but it’s funny. My therapist has challenged me to watch it and test out those boundaries.”

7. Sexual intimacy and openness can be regained after recovering from porn addiction. Lauren says that her recovery has made it a possibility to using porn in future relationships. “There was dormant years of me avoiding intimacy at all costs. I just didn’t want to be apart of it. I was so upset. I felt broken. But today, I feel like I have this clean, beautiful slate that I’ve worked so hard for. I’ve worked so hard to reframe my belief system around sexuality, and so if that was something my partner and I wanted to do 100 percent, I would be open to it. One hundred percent.”

Credit: cosmopolitan

5 Things You Should Do Every Morning If You Want To Be Healthy

Oil Pull

Before you start saying “oil pulling is so 2014,” hear me out. I grind my teeth at night, and I know I’m not alone in this. In addition to the possible oral health benefits, oil pulling exercises a stiff jaw to alleviate pain, forces you to get up 20 minutes earlier, and acts as a chemical-free mouthwash.

Stretch

While I oil pull, I stretch. I take this time to relax, meditate a bit, and warm up my body for the day. If I have time or get up early enough, I go to yoga or do a few Sun Salutations in my room. I know I’ll be in a desk chair all day, so I try to carve out some time to always get a good stretch session in.

Drink Lemon Water

A room-temperature glass of lemon water has tons of health benefits: alongside improved hydration, you’ll get a vitamin C boost for glowing skin, a metabolism boost, and a mood boost.

Care For Your Skin

I don’t have an extreme 11-step Korean skin care routine, but I do have a pretty solid lineup for my skin. I cleanse my skin with Dermalogica Special Cleansing Gel and my Clarisonic, then tone, apply serum, and moisturize. Twice a week, I use a peel, and three times a week, I use a retexturizing scrub. And you know what? I never knew my skin could be this good! The byproduct of this is that I now look forward to waking up (don’t judge me) to go through my skin care routine.

Take Vitamins

I take B12 for energy, omega-3 for mood and muscle health, and vitamin E for hair, skin, and nails. If I’m drinking my vitamins in a shake, I use Vega One powder mixed with some coconut milk. At the risk of sounding like your mom, take your vitamins!

Credit: popsugar

3 Fashion Rules Every Generation Should Live By

It’s Not What You Wear, It’s How You Wear It

My mom always told me, “It doesn’t matter if your clothes are expensive or designer, if you wear them well you’ll be the best dressed in the room.” I hear her advice in the back of my head every time I go shopping and always choose pieces that fit my body type, that I feel confident in, and that work with my individual style. Fall is my absolute favorite time of year, so I pay close attention to what I buy for the season. When it comes to sweaters, I’m all about comfort with a bit of structure – the best of both worlds.

It’s OK to Treat Yourself

Saving up for something special every once in a while is a lesson I learned from my grandmother. As a 20-something living in New York, budgeting is always on my mind, but I make a “splurge” purchase at the beginning of a new season. I love investing in of-the-moment shoes, like a gorgeous pair of suede booties for Fall. Don’t hold back if something special catches your eye. If you fall in love immediately, chances are you’ll get a ton of good use out of it.

Curate Your Wardrobe

One thing I focus on is having a perfectly coordinated closet, which is due in part to my Type A personality. The more synergy you see when you open those doors, the easier it will be to put together polished outfits. While this is true, I definitely don’t shy away from standout pieces. I live for hunting down treasures like a printed scarf vest, but I always take a moment to think about how these items will fit in with the rest of my wardrobe.

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6 Things You Should Not Do On A First Date

1. Be late

Whatever you do, don’t be late. Punctuality is always important, especially on the first date. If you show up late, it will send the message that you just don’t care. Reduce your chances of a late arrival by departing earlier than usual.

“Unfortunately, I’ve seen lots of bad advice about turning up late on dates to show how much in demand you are. All that this will communicate is how inconsiderate you are and that you’re unable to manage your time properly. What else are you unable to manage properly if you can’t be in a certain place at a certain time?” said Charlie Valentino in First Date Tips for Men: The Complete Dating Psychology.

2. Talk about your ex

The first date is not an appropriate time to talk incessantly about past loves. Keep a lid on it unless it is relevant to the conversation. And even then, don’t stay on the topic longer than necessary. It’s best to steer clear of a discussion about your exes until the time is right. If you just can’t help yourself, and your ex is all you talk about, you’re clearly not over the relationship. You may need a break from dating so you can deal with your issues. Don’t date on the rebound, as these relationships rarely turn out well. Heal your heart first and then jump back in the dating pool when you’re ready.

 3. Don’t listen

If there was ever a time to focus, it’s now. The first date is when you’ll learn a lot of new things about your partner. Take the time to really listen to what he or she is saying. The first couple of dates will help you decide whether to continue with the relationship or move on to someone more compatible. Your date shouldn’t have to repeat herself several times.

“Actually listen. I’ve been guilty of half-listening to my girlfriend. And that means you give half-assed responses. That is not good. Put down what you’re doing–or at least tell your significant other to give you a second if you are in the middle of something dangerous–then give your full attention,” said Ella Ceron in How to Date Better: Finding, Friending, Hooking Up, Breaking Up, and Falling in Love in the 21st Century.

4. Look sloppy

Pay attention to how you look. If you show up looking a mess, it shows that you don’t take pride in how you look and don’t really care about the outcome of your meeting. If you really could care less, just cancel the date and stay home. Don’t ask someone out just to pass the time or because you’re lonely.

5. Tell your whole life story

Keep the conversation fun and light. If you reveal your entire life story from childhood until now, you’ll not only bore your date but also make yourself less of a challenge. And you’ll also appear a little unbalanced (OK, a lot unbalanced). In addition, your date will think that if you’re ready to share everything upfront that you do that with everyone you meet.

6. Spill the beans

Don’t get into explicit detail about what you like in bed and how you want the job done. Leave something to the imagination. There will be plenty of time for that later.

Credit: CheetSheet

The Kind Of Man You Should Marry

1. He makes you feel relaxed.
You don’t have to be “on” around him. You’re able to just be yourself. You’re comfortable crying in front of him, yelling in front him, and even having quiet moments. He’s seen the good, the bad, the hungover… and he still loves you.

2. He makes you happy.
He makes you smile more than you frown. When you’re with him, you’re really, really happy. He treats you like a queen and does everything he can to make you happy.

3. You’re attracted to him.
You find yourself beyond attracted to him. Sometimes you look at him and you think, “Daaaaamn.” He may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but to you, he’s a god.

4. He’s loyal.
Your future husband should be loyal and 400 percent committed to you. He should only have eyes for you. You never have to worry about him being unfaithful, because he’s all yours.

5. He’s a good listener.
The man you marry should listen to you, and I mean really listen. He should pay attention to what you say. He lets you vent, regardless of the subject. A man who truly loves you cares about what you have to say.

6. He’s thoughtful and romantic.
A man who is thoughtful is a keeper. He should show you he’s considerate by doing things just to put a smile on your face. He knows it’s the little things that count. He does anything he can to make you feel special.

7. He’s sweet.
He’s kind and loving because he cares about you and your feelings. He’s affectionate because he can’t help himself. He’s sweet to you in private, and of course, in public, too. He can’t wait to kiss you each and every morning and night.

8. He appreciates you.
He tells you out of the blue that you look beautiful. He raves to his friends about you because he knows you’re special. He knows he’s lucky to have you in his life, and he never lets you forget it.

9. He fits into your life.
He spends time with your family and you’ve gotten to know his. He makes an effort to be present in your life and engages the people you love. He cares about your friends and wants them to like him. He fits into your life perfectly.

10. He’s willing to do anything for you.
He makes sacrifices for you because he knows it will make you happy. He plans things he knows you will enjoy. He’s willing to do anything for you, because he loves you.

The man you marry should make you feel grateful and oh so blessed.

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