Check out these new set of rules for Uber users.

Uber has released a new set of guidelines and rules that riders must adhere to if they want to continue to use the taxi service.

Some of the rules, which mostly target the riders, also apply to the drivers.

“It’s a universal truth we were all taught by our parents. And something that’s important here at Uber,” an Uber news release said.

“That’s because whether you’re a passenger trying to get from A to B—or a driver wanting to earn money—we want everyone to enjoy the ride.”

Breaking any of these rules could get you banned from using Uber ever again.

Damaging drivers’ or other passengers’ property

Damaging the car, breaking or vandalising a phone, intentionally spilling food or drink, smoking, or vomiting due to excessive alcohol consumption.

Physical contact with the driver or fellow riders

As our community guidelines make clear, you shouldn’t touch or flirt with other people in the car. As a reminder, Uber has a no sex rule.

That’s no sexual conduct with drivers or fellow riders, no matter what. And you should never hit or otherwise hurt a driver or fellow passenger.

Use of inappropriate and abusive language or gestures 

Asking overly personal questions, using verbal threats, and making comments or gestures that are aggressive, sexual, discriminatory, or disrespectful.

Unwanted contact with the driver or fellow passenger after the trip is over

Texting, calling or visiting someone in person after a ride has been completed.

Remember, in most countries, you can call and text your driver directly from the Uber app without ever having to share your personal phone number.

This means that your phone number stays anonymous and is never given to the driver.

Breaking the local law while using Uber

Bringing open containers of alcohol or drugs into the car; traveling in large groups that exceed the number of seat belts in the car; asking drivers to break local traffic laws such as speed limits; or using Uber to commit a crime, including drug and human trafficking or the sexual exploitation of children.

CBN Alters Rules For Selection Of Primary Dealers As New FX Regime Takes Off Today

As trading on the Nigeria Interbank Foreign Exchange (NIFEX), which allows the exchange rate of the naira to be market-driven commences today, the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) has moved to change the guidelines for the selection of FX Primary Dealers (FXPDs) who shall deal in wholesale forex transactions with the CBN.

Last Wednesday, the CBN had unveiled the guidelines for the commencement of a flexible exchange rate regime, adding that it would appoint eight to 10 primary dealers, whom the central bank Governor, Mr. Godwin Emefiele, referred to as “Grade A” dealers.

Others were classified as “Grade B”, whom the CBN termed as non-primary dealers, but shall remain valid and eligible to participate in the market.

It had also said interbank trading under the new guidelines would begin today, while tenors and rates for the naira-settled OTC FX Futures would be announced on June 27, 2016.

Under the guidelines for primary dealership in forex products, the CBN also stipulated that authorized dealers would be required to have a minimum shareholders’ fund unimpaired by losses of at least N200 billion, a minimum of N400 billion in total foreign currency assets, and minimum liquidity ratio of 40 per cent.

The names of the eight or 10 primary dealers were to be released by the CBN last Friday.

However, the segmentation of the market into “Grade A” and “Grade B” dealers by the CBN resulted in concerns that limiting the market to eight or 10 primary traders or banks with access to forex from the central bank could lead to the emergence of a cartel of favoured banks and price-fixing among them.

Credit: Thisday

US Out With New Visa Rules On Travellers With Mideast Ties

The United States on Thursday began enforcing new visa rules on some travellers who have visited or who have dual nationality with states considered seedbeds of terrorism.

The Department of Homeland Security said would-be US visitors who have been to Iran, Iraq, Sudan or Syria since March 2011 will now always have to apply for a visa.

This will be the case even if the traveller is from a country in the US visa waiver program — the 40 nations seen as friends of America whose citizens can visit freely.

In addition, citizens of visa waiver countries who hold dual Iranian, Iraqi, Sudanese or Syrian nationality will have to apply for a full visa before travelling to America.

The department said it had started to implement the new rules on Thursday, but there had already been reports of travellers falling afoul of the controversial regulations.

Credit: Vanguard

Magistrate Rules On Pro-Biafran Leader’s Charges Dec. 16

A Magistrate’s Court in Wuse Zone 2 of the Federal Capital Territory has fixed December 16 for ruling on whether or not to strike out the charges instituted against a leader of Biafra agitation and Director of Radio Biafra, Mr. Nnamdi Kanu, by the Department of State Services.

The ruling was earlier scheduled for December 1, 2015 but the presiding magistrate, Shuaibu Usman, could not sit because he was bereaved.

Findings by our correspondent on Monday showed that the ruling had been rescheduled for December 16.

The magistrate had on November 22, 2015 adjourned earlier date for his ruling on an application by the DSS through its lawyer, Mr. Moses Idakwo, to discontinue the case.

Idakwo had on November 22 applied for the discontinuance of the charges against Kanu in line with provisions of section 108(1) of the Administration of Criminal Justice Act 2015 due to what he described as fresh facts in the case which could not be entertained under the court’s jurisdiction.

Credit: Punch

President Demands Penalty Shootout For A Football Game After Watching It For Just 65 Minutes

Abdul Aziz decided he’d seen enough of the Super Cup match between Tafarrogh Zeina and Laskr and requested that the game be settled by a penalty shootout

We’ve all been there. Your team is heading for an inevitable stalemate but you’re obligated stick it out watch the full 90 minutes of drudgery unfold before your weary eyes… that is unless you’re the President of Mauritania.

Having seen 65 minutes of the Super Cup between Tafarrogh Zeina and Laksr, Mohamed Abdul Aziz, who only arrived at half-time, decided he’d seen enough and requested that the game, which was locked at 1-1, end there and then and be decided by a penalty shootout on account of his “busy” schedule.

Under significant pressure the match officials ceded to the President’s demands with Zeina Tafarrogh eventually winning the shootout, claiming glory and afterwards receiving the trophy from Abdul Aziz whose unique take on the laws of the game, if anything, is to be admired.

After the match the President said: “Finishing the game early did not break any laws – this game was a single entity and not related to any other competition. Football is famous for its flexibility, especially when all parties agree.”

Court Rules On Saraki’s Appeal Today

The Court of Appeal in Abuja will decide whether or not the Code of Conduct Tribunal (CCT) could proceed with the trial of Senate President Bukola Saraki on charges of false asset declaration. The appellate court chose Monday for judgment in an appeal by Saraki, after taking arguments from parties in the case.

However, mixed reactions have continued to trail the arraignment of Saraki by the Code of Conduct Bureau (CCB).

Saraki, who was arraigned last month before the CCT on a 13-count charge of false asset declaration, is appealing the tribunal’s decision to assume jurisdiction over his trial.

Credit: ngrguardiannews

#Pausibility: Gehazi, Vuvuzela-General And The Lesson For The New Generation By Adebayo Coker.


The diverse reactions that were triggered by the recent appointments of the President are funnily incredulous. Very soon we will hear Dauralization or Patriarchization. We voted PMB to deliver to us chenji then we complain when he selected his team. PMB has chosen the people he wants to work with; I hope when playtime comes he will consider some of us. September is a month to look forward to. My fear is that one of his aides has set his over-ambitious eyes on SAN(K)ship already.

Let’s move on to better things jor.

“Uncle, two fighting!”

I am sure not many of us know that our distress call of “two fighting!” whenever two brawlers unleash assault on one another way back in our nursery school days was actually embedded in our Criminal Code, though as a social misdemeanour. We throw tantrums once in a while but never should anyone be encouraged to become a pugilist. Since it is a season of roforofo fight – mudslinging – in the land, we must try as much as possible to moderate or is it modulate?

The Peace Committee has lost all peace since their return from the Villa the other day, hence, some persons must step into their shoes. God works in mysterious ways. We would have lost this ample opportunity of raw entertainment if they had not visited the power seat; perhaps they would have brokered peace between these elders: you know they are all about peace, however achievable.

A Fair Umpire.

Roforofo fight is a brawl, usually, between elder statesmen who have decided to wash their linens (dirty and stinking) in public, so we may not allow them to engage in a free-for-all because if they lose a tooth the state will foot the bill of its reconstruction. It is best we regulate in our interest.

I volunteer to be the umpire in this no holds-barred revelation, therefore the following rules apply:

(1) To qualify you must be an elder states (wo)man: a serving or ex senior public or civil servant, military and paramilitary, etc;

(2) You must know something about someone that you want to spill and be ready to spill without fear or favour: da public gatya back. But private things should be kept private, unless it is beneficial and elevating to the public;

(3) You must know some crass (‘gutter’) language, exotic English is also permitted: just capture the details;

(4) Whatever you don’t spill, but, if found out, shall be used against you in the course of this bout. It shall negate your point(s) to zero, no matter how high. Therefore you are advised to not hold anything back;

(5) The Umpire shall adjudge rightly without fear or favour, to the best of his ability, but if you feel otherwise you have the right to appeal but don’t abuse the Umpire. If you do, your elder seal(s) will be stripped off you, no matter how grand, with no option of appeal or fine;

(6)Your social media Voltron(s) may come to your aid but admonish them, sufficiently, to be as civil as possible, else (5) above shall be extended;

(7) You have a right to an Attorney, if you cannot afford one, the Public will contribute to hire one for you but the Attorney MUST not initiate any legal action by way of petition, court injunction, invitation by any agency(lawful or/and otherwise), against the Umpire. He is just a fiction writer: verisimilitude of arts is expressly a caveat emptor;

(8) You, automatically, sign into this bout if you belong to 1 above and take on anyone that belongs to 1 above, publicly;

(9) Your action may not be taken as whistle blowing, until an appropriate channel of communication is followed and further verification is made at and by @officialefcc office anywhere in the country, respectfully, respectively;

(10) Any other rule may subsequently follow.

Understand these rules? You can seek the service of an Attorney. If you tick item 8, you are already in. Let the bout begin:

Friday Vs Aliu

The flying vituperation, here and there, from one elder statesman sitting in God knows where in Abuja, and another sitting in Benin is becoming juicier by the day.

There is no doubt Mr Aliu needs to check his emotions and tame his tongue in quick spilling of some, what ought to be Classified. He is an elder statesman and as one he should know when and how to spill and when not to (application of proportionate action and inaction). We have the hints already that the figures are mind-boggling but what his action portends is more mind-boggling, therefore he should stop sending people to the clinic to check their ifunpa (BP) all the time because of his unbridled spilling. Or is his hue and cry an unofficial signal to his ‘benefactor(s)’, according to an elder statesman, Elder Godsday, to move their loot to a better safekeep? He should be told again and again, by whoever can pull his strings, that whatever may have gone down during these past days, the present-day anti- corruption crusade (the way it is going) would get so many elder statesmen tsunamied to a place they rarely dreamt of if they are found to be alaje banu. The fight against corruption isn’t a vendetta. He should just be diplomatic and advise the jittery ones amongst these agbalagbi to ju agbalagba lo to start pally-ing the Comptroller-General of Prisons; the CG will know where the best facilities are.

Ti oju akata ba l’ewo ko ki nse enu adie lo ye ka ti gbo; a fowl is misfit to bear the tale of a blind fox.

Let’s assume Elder Aliu is a (p)sychophant as described by the other elder, I doubt the latter’s claim (until he spills more) that the former is an AGIP(Any Government In Power); ilk of our Elegant Stallion (Rule no 4 stands). But let’s pretend we want to enjoy the blaring sound of a Vuvuzuela. This Elder(ly) whistle blower doesn’t have the physical strength and moral right to blow one to our hearing; In fact, the other elders in this elder’s homestead should have him bound till the overdose of the Viagra he took sometime in March wears off before they allow him parades the public space. The hangover of an ODed Viagra may take some time.

BTW/WARNING (UNOFFICIAL): Self-prescribed Viagra may lead to emotional breakdown. Sufferers may lose control of their passion. They can ‘come’ anywhere, however, anytime.

“Being leg by your EMOTIONS is a recipe for disaster!…

-Mathew Ashimolowo

Back to the issue at hand: The Aso Rock sycophant elder has given a sufficient response to the lineage-disgracing elder but he didn’t do a thorough job and as an elder he shouldn’t be found wanting, in any way. Agba kii wa l’oja ki ori omo tuntun wo. Mr Aliu shouldn’t join a large number of us to condemn unborn innocent generation(s) to the dark side of history. Not a good thing to do, though their progenitor is Gehazi. We should always be Christ like in our dealings so Elder Aliu, I pray he reads this piece, should initiate a move at orientating the other elder on how to proclaim chenji.

Honor and Obedience.

The Fourth Commandment in the Bible: Honour Thy Father and Thy Mother. We have been taught that ‘ honour’ extends to ANYONE older than us. There is also a part of the Moral Code that says to disobey to carry out an unjust order is just.

Some people will say honouring someone isn’t complete without obeying that person. They will even push further: “you cannot say you honour God without obeying His commandments”. But God will never command you to do evil. It is Satan that deceitfully leads man, through hedonism, into a pit of shame and regret.

A Presidential summon was honoured by you but getting there, he tells you: Mr Lagbaja omo baba Lakasegbe, I have heard so, so, and so about you therefore as soon as you get home, hang yourself by yourself. I am sure you will not obey such command unless that statement to commit suicide was laced with some gbetugbetu.

We have cases of parents, hate-feeding their children against the society, partly and or fully. Some kids might (blindly) suck the milk since it is honour thy father and mother… but greater evil will such offspring perpetrate. Rarely is there an exception to the rule.

Lesson For The New Generation.

My piece of advice to anyone is to honour your parents AT ALL TIMES. If they call you once answer them courteously ten times. If your father wants you to take your bow and arrow to get him venison, bolt like Usain, get him whatever he wants. If he wants wine please don’t hesitate to get him the best of the best from France (especially if he has stacked enough funds). But if he tells you to disrupt the flow of peace, PLEASE in the name of whatever you believe in don’t obey such. It is devilish and is a crime against humanity. Your father may cut you off from his estate but I know God will not punish you for disobeying an instruction to be a ballot-snatcher.

I am sure the children of the other elder that “would rot in jail” are still traumatized. The same God that healed Naaman still lives but I will advise that you call for a meeting with only the formidable elders in your family; whether god-dey or god-no-dey, just have faith that diaris God in whatever you are doing: appoint a spokesperson and address a World Press Conference. Make sure you unweb yourself from what this Elder yoked you with. Remember Moses refused to be called the son of Pharaoh’s daughter when he came of age. Don’t get me wrong. You are not denouncing his fatherhood: he remains your father but it is his action that you must dissociate from. The video of your press conference will trend side by side (if not more viral than) the YouTube views of your Patriarch toddler’s display of tantrum. At least people will know you are not like the scions of the Abachas, Gaddafis, Hitlers, Mugabes, Mobutu Sesesekous, Bin Ladens of this world. You will live free of his action. As it is presently, your genuine intentions will be rubbished because of your surname. Am sure some people will start brandishing that theatrical to blackmail you into some uncomfortable positions but if you heed my advice, you will enjoy considerable sympathy and you will walk with your heads high up. It is a much needed damage control.

I am not in any way by whatever fiat compelling anyone to take my admonition seriously but I am a corn lover. My Viagra works best when an agbalagba ties corn cob around his or her waist and shamelessly walks the arena.


Ps: am I getting hooked on the same coke as Pius Adesanmi? Check me into a rehab, please!

Certificate Forgery: Tribunal Rules on APC Suit August 15

The National and House of Assembly Election Petitions Tribunal sitting in Yenagoa, Bayelsa State, has fixed August 15 to deliver judgement on the suit filed by the All Progressives Congress against the Peoples Democratic Party.

Mr. Eddy Julius, the senatorial candidate for the APC in the last National Assembly election conducted in Bayelsa West Senatorial District dragged his PDP rival, Senator Foster Ogola, to the tribunal alleging certificate forgery.

Julius, who is challenging the victory of Ogola in the election, is praying the court to disqualify Ogola for allegedly presenting a false certificate and to declare him the authentic winner of the poll.

When the tribunal resumed on Monday for adoption, counsel for Julius, Mr. Somina Johnbull adopted a written address he filed on July 14.

Johnbull appealed to the tribunal to grant prayers sought by his client to the effect that Ogola was not qualified to stand for the election.

He said,  “Our thrust is on non-qualification of the second respondent (Ogola). If our reliefs are granted, the petitioner (Julius), who came second, will now become the winner of the election by virtue of the doctrine of wasted votes.”

Read More: punchng

Tribunal Rules On Ambode’s Objection Today

The Lagos State Governorship Election Tribunal sitting in Ikeja has slated today to decide whether or not to hear the preliminary objection filed by the state Governor,  Akinwunmi Ambode against the petition filed by Peoples Democratic Party, PDP candidate, Jimi Agbaje in the April 28 election.

The PDP candidate, is praying the tribunal to declare him the winner of the April poll, while challenging the declaration of Akinwunmi Ambode by the Independent National Electoral Commission, INEC as the winner of the election.

When the matter came up yesterday, the tribunal stated it would take all preliminary objections alongside with the petitions. The tribunal presided by  Justice Mohammed Ibrahim Sirajo however subjected the issues to argument asking parties in the matter to make their submissions.