4 Things You Should NEVER EVER Compromise In A Relationship

1. Self-worth

Don’t remain in a relationship with someone who makes you feel bad about yourself. Do you find that the more time you spend with your partner, the worse you feel? This is a sign that it’s time to reconsider the relationship. You should make an effort to surround yourself with people who support you and make you feel good about yourself.

Therapist Mark Tyrell said you shouldn’t completely base your identity on how others see you, but you should be aware of how the people in your inner circle make you feel. “Your self-esteem shouldn’t be totally dependent on the person with whom you happen to be in a relationship. But the fact is, relationships do have a big impact on the way you feel. And that includes the way you feel about yourself…How’s your self-esteem? How’s your relationship? The two can be more intertwined than we realize,” said Tyrell on his website.

2. Personal beliefs

No matter how in love you are, backing down when it comes to your personal beliefs should not be an option. If you strongly feel a certain way about an issue that is near and dear to your heart, you shouldn’t be made to feel that you have to adjust your views just to keep someone close. Once you start compromising your values and beliefs, you’re likely to start compromising on other things as well.

Margret Paul, psychologist and co-author of Do I Have to Give up Me to Be Loved by You? said some compromise is healthy, but it’s important not to compromise to the point where you begin to lose yourself. “Most relationships require us to bend to a certain extent, but how much can we bend without a loss of self? There is an inherent paradox in these questions: A truly loving relationship is a relationship where each person accepts and even values the differences between them. If you have to excessively bend your values to preserve the relationship, what are you preserving? You are not preserving a loving relationship, since love does not demand that you excessively bend your values,” Paul wrote in a piece for The Huffington Post.

3. Family

If your partner tries to isolate you from your family or turn you against them, this is something to be concerned about. Possessiveness might make you feel special at first, but when it’s overdone to the point that you’re being kept away from family, something is wrong. Psychologist Theresa E. DiDonato said there should be balance when it comes to how much time you and your partner spend together. “The goal, of course, is to find a balance in which both members of the couple are happy with the time they spend together, maintain their outside friendships and family relationships, make progress towards their professional goals, and give the relationship a chance to flourish,” DiDonato said in a Psychology Today story.

4. Close friendships

Everyone needs good friends in their life. Quality friendships make life richer and can help you get through the unexpected rough patches that come along. Resist the urge to spend all of your time with your partner at the expense of your friendships. Remember that if you break up, your friends will be the ones to help you get through it. Don’t push them away so you can focus on your love life. Be leery of any partner who encourages you to distance yourself from your friends (unless they are toxic, then that’s another story).

If you have a group of trustworthy people in your life, do your best to keep them close. DiDonato said friends can be helpful when it comes to making decisions about your relationship. “Friends are not only support systems, their opinions of your relationship predict your relationship success (Sprecher, 2011)

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This Is The Ideal Age Difference In A Relationship

They say age ain’t nothing but a number if you really love each other, but are certain age gaps — or lack thereof — more likely to end in tears? According to a study conducted by Emory University in Atlanta, there’s an ideal difference that can heighten your chances of a lasting relationship.

The study looked at 3,000 people and found that the greater the age gap, the greater the risk of a breakup. These are just patterns, but the results could come down to partners having conflicting goals and interests at different stages in their lives.

Researchers found that couples with a five-year age gap are 18 percent more likely to split than an equal-age couple, while that figure jumped to 39 percent with a 10-year age gap. For couples with a 20-year age gap, the statistics aren’t looking very hopeful, with chances of separation rising to 95 percent.

As for that ideal age difference, researches believe that a one-year gap is the sweet spot, with the chances of divorce standing at a much smaller 3 percent.

Still, as we said, this is just data, and, while researchers may have noticed patterns, every couple is different and other factors — like children, behavior, and plain old compatibility — can impact the results also.

As Hugo Mialon, one of the researchers behind the study, said: “It could just be that the types of couples with those characteristics are the types of couples who are, on average, more likely to divorce for other reasons.”

Credit: cosmopolitan

Signs Your Relationship Is Toxic & You Need To Leave Fast

  1. You have to ask permission.It’s nice to consider your partner’s thoughts and feelings when making decisions, but it shouldn’t be only one of you who can give the go ahead. You should have full freedom to do what you want.
  2. You’re emotionally drained constantly.If all your energy is being put toward arguing or trying to keep your SO satisfied, that’s a problem. A healthy relationship is happy and fulfilling.
  3. You can’t fully be yourself.You should never have to suppress certain parts of you to make your SO accept you. If they can’t love all of you, then they sure as hell don’t deserve you.
  4.   You’ll do whatever it takes to avoid fights

    You might think you’re helping your relationship by letting things go, but not addressing the issues as they appear will have consequences later. The fear of getting broken up with or getting into another argument isn’t reason enough to be passive.

  5. Your SO makes you feel bad about yourself.A little jab here and a condescending tone there are absolutely unacceptable. If your partner loves you as much as they claim they do, they would never put you down in any way.
  6. You fight often.Even the happiest of couples have their moments, but if it’s a daily war zone, how happy can you two really be? Don’t mistake fighting for passion.
  7. You dwell on the past instead of moving forward.Your relationship will be at a standstill if previous issues are constantly being resurfaced. You won’t be able to grow as a couple if you’re stuck in relationships past. It’s easy to bring up an already-resolved problem in the heat of the moment, but don’t let it become ammunition — or else your SO can use it to get their way.
  8. Your work life is being affected.Staying in contact with each other throughout the day can have its benefits, but to a certain extent. Constant check-ups are a sign of a distrust, and fighting via text disturbs productivity at work. Being unable to separate your personal life and professional life ruins your focus and mood.
  9. It’s clear your relationship is imbalanced.In a healthy relationship, no single person should have complete control or say. A partnership is just that — a partnership.
  10. You have to hide things from your partner.

    You know what will set them off, but you shouldn’t have to lie or sneak around to avoid upsetting them. Trust is the foundation of a successful relationship and you’re bound for bigger trouble if they find out you’ve been keeping things.

    Read More: popsugar

7 Most Ignored Relationship Issues, According To Therapists

Couples often come into therapy complaining of communication problems, meddling in-laws, sex and money issues ? but those are just the most obvious problems counselors hear about.

Below, marriage therapists share seven of the most overlooked reasons couples come to therapy and how to avoid each in your own relationship.

1. They’re way too dependent on each other.

It’s humanly impossible for your S.O. to fulfill your every need. You can’t expect one woman or man to be your sounding board, your bestie, your lover, your personal accountant and everything else in between, said Kristin Zeising, a San Diego-based psychologist.

“It’s taxing on the relationship and a burden for your S.O. to play so many roles,” she said. “This dynamic can also can deaden your sexual desire for each other.”

To curb this kind of dependency, Zeising tells her clients to create some distance and focus on outside relationships.

“For the couples who do everything together, concentrate on spending time with friends separately, create separate hobbies and interests,” she said. “Becoming a more well-rounded, less dependent individual makes your relationship more fulfilling.”

2. They don’t realize what housework represents.

Many couples struggle with how to balance their careers and home life but few recognize the emotional charge behind housework, said Susan Pease Gadoua, a marriage therapist and the co-author of The New I Do, Reshaping Marriage for Skeptics, Realists and Rebel.

“For decades, women have been in charge of domestic responsibilities because the tasks were considered too ‘lowly’ for men,” she said. “Unfortunately, most of the housework still falls on modern women but men have stepped up and they are doing far more around the house these days.”

Couples struggling to split housework need to adopt a “we’re in this together” mentality, Pease Gadoua said. (And know that there’s research-backed benefits to divvying up the chores: A recent study found that couples who share housework report having better and more frequent sex.)

3. They underestimate the need for personal space.

In the early days, you spent every last waking hour together. That was intoxicating back then but chances are, it might be a little stifling for one of you as time goes on. The good news is, there’s nothing wrong with a little “me time” in a relationship, said Liz Higgins, a Dallas, Texas-based couples therapist who works primarily with millennials.

“People often ‘lose themselves’ in their relationship and forget to harness their independence,” she said. “When you’re in love, you just can’t give up on your hobbies or disengage from self-care activities; these things are actually incredibly important to maintaining your relationship.”

To avoid a codependent dynamic, couples must learn the balance of interdependence: “It’s about thriving together yet also separately,” Higgins said.

4. They don’t love themselves enough.

The old platitude is true: You can’t love anyone else unless you love yourself first. Going into a relationship with a low opinion of yourself “trickles down negatively to almost every aspect of marriage,” said Becky Whetstone, a marriage and family therapist in Little Rock, Arkansas.

“I’ve seen it lead to so much dysfunctional behavior, from adultery and addiction to being dependent, or a boundary-less control freak,” she said. “A person who is shame-filled cannot have a healthy relationship with another person. I really do believe that shame is the number-one cause of divorce.”

A more solid, healthy relationship starts with bringing your best, most positive self to the table, Whetstone said.

“Work to maintain that, find a mate who is dedicated to doing the same and you have a fighting chance at having a healthy relationship,” she said.

5. They’re vindictive during fights and rarely apologize.

In the heat of an argument, couples all too often go for the low blows. Unfortunately, they rarely apologize for the momentary lapse in judgement, Zeising said.

“We’re all human and have a dark side but if you don’t acknowledge it and own up to it, you can’t learn to control it and are more likely to keep acting it out,” she said. “When you can own these feelings, you can approach relationship issues from a place of integrity.”

6. They assume they know everything about each other.

To keep the love alive, you have to maintain a little mystery. When you think you have your spouse all figured out, you deny yourself the chance to discover new, loveable qualities about them, Higgins said.

“When couples have been together for a long time, they often lose sight of the fact that their partner is still an entire world of their own thoughts, feelings and experiences,” she said. “Desire and excitement thrive in the unknown; continuing to explore the otherness of your partner will actually deepen your connection.”

7. They’re closed off to their spouse’s feelings.

There’s little room for growth in a relationship when one partner overreacts and doesn’t want to hear feedback from the other, Zeising said.

“Instead of blaming the messenger or avoiding expressing your true feelings, it’s important to soothe your own anxieties,” she said. “You can’t guarantee that your partner won’t have challenging things to say to you but you can decide how you want to handle that information.”

Credit: huffingtonpost

Why Compatibility Is Key To Having A Successful Relationship

Many factors go into a successful relationship, but one of the biggest ones is compatibility. If you have nothing in common and share little or no interests once the newness of the relationship wears off, there’s not much left to work with. First of all, what is compatibility? Generally, you know you are compatible when you both share similar views and opinions on the issues that matter most to you.

“Compatibility is a natural alignment of lifestyle choices and values between two people. A priest and a stripper have a major incompatibility and I doubt many end up dating each other. That’s compatibility. Put simply, if I value women who are intelligent and educated and I meet a high school dropout who values guys who have big muscles and like to hunt deer, then we have a fundamental incompatibility that will probably never be overcome and we will never date one another. Compatibility usually corresponds to the long-term potential between two people,” said Mark Manson.

In the absence of a sufficient amount of compatibility, the relationship will either slowly break down or drag on for years, with one or both partners trudging along in misery. Now you don’t want that, do you? It’s not necessary to have 100% compatibility with your partner, but at least some should exist. Here are a few reasons why being compatible is so important.

1. Sometimes opposites attract — and that’s not always a good thing

You may have heard the saying that opposites attract, but sometimes being too different can lead to conflict. One partner may end up getting a raw deal, and over time that could put strain on the marriage.

“Like most clichés, this popular belief is overgeneralized and can be misleading, even dangerous. This is because the attraction between opposites can sometimes be a telltale sign of dysfunction. A dysfunctional relationship is one that does not support cognitive, emotional, and behavioral adjustment among its participants. For example, dependent individuals may be attracted to other individuals who enable or encourage helplessness or dependence,” Elliot D. Cohen, one of the main founders of philosophical counseling, said on Psychology Today.

2. Great sex isn’t enough

While the sex may be hot, it’s not enough to sustain a long-term relationship. However, in a healthy union, sex is the icing on the cake that can help a relationship grow stronger and deepen trust. If you are in a relationship that is clearly going south, but you’re hanging on for the sex, you’re fooling yourself about your future.

“There’s an old saying that has some truth to it: ‘In bad relationships, sex means everything; in good relationships, it means very little.’ While I don’t believe the latter point is entirely true, you get the meaning. Great sex within the context of a bad relationship is a like a drug that will keep everyone coming back for more until each member of the couple gets honest with themselves and admits the truth: The relationship is broken or, worse, not much of a ‘relationship’ at all,” Dr. Seth Meyers told Fox News Magazine.

3. Looks fade

When your looks are gone — and they will go one day — will your partner still be there? Compatibility is important because the superficial things that may have initially caught your attention will not last forever. Waist lines expand, hair thins, and skin wrinkles (unless you have the money to hire a really good plastic surgeon). Shared interests and a solid friendship with your partner is what will survive the test of time.

Credit: CheetSheet

Rihanna Says She’s Too Busy To Have A Steady Relationship

During her appearance on The Ellen DeGeneres Show to promote her new album and, Rihanna said she has no time to be in a steady relationship because pf her very busy schedule..

‘I’m single right now. And it’s not that I’m like ”Oh, pro single. Yes, I hate men.” I just think that I just have so much on my plate that I can’t even find the time to entertain a steady relationship or anything serious. Or even a text. Right now it’s just crazy.’ she said
The singer looked amazing in a little green skirt and cropped green blouse with a revealing neckline. More photos after the cut…

 

George Clooney was also a guest on the show…

Back Together? Toke Makinwa And Maje Ayida Spotted At The Future Awards 2015

It looks like popular media personality Toke Makinwa and her estranged husband Maje Ayida have reconciled. The pair who were seen together at Future Awards Africa, arrived separately at the venue for the Pepsi sponsored Corporate Elite 2015 event which also took place last night, and later cozied up to each other during Jagged Edge’s moving performance. Looks like all is well here.  See more photos below…

3 Signs Your Relationship Is Actually Toxic

1. The situation: He’s caught up in childhood and family drama.” As Marcy* watched Jorge smash her printer in front of their home, she finally realized the truth: Her man was becoming a carbon copy of his dysfunctional family. “His parents were involved in a drug trafficking ring when he was a child,” she explains of her now ex-boyfriend. “I don’t think they considered what it would do to him long-term.”

But Marcy, a 31-year-old Boricua from Connecticut, knew he had lingering issues. “He told me tragic stories about gun exposure and serious gang-related shit.” Before Marcy knew it, Jorge was bouncing from “scheme to scheme,” lashing out, destroying their property, and accusing Marcy, who worked 60 to 70 hours a week, of being a “bum,” just like his parents.

But still, she stayed. “I’m a woman, naturally I’m going to try and fix everything. I had to ‘remold’ him,” she explains. “I had to teach him how to talk to me, address people without anger, and to show respect.” But after countless violent outbursts, she’d had enough.

Although there’s nothing wrong with wanting to nurture your partner, Misha N. Granado, MPH, MS, founder of Love Grows: The Relationship Consultants, advises women to refrain from treating a lover like a patient, especially if he’s physically, emotionally, or verbally abusive. “Therapists have very specific boundaries, expertise, and the ability to be objective,” Granado explains. If you want to help a loved one who has been exposed to extensive violence, encourage him to seek help from a professional.

2. The situation: He’s got mommy issues. Abandoned by his mother and raised by an “emotionally crippled” grandmother, Leia’s ex-boyfriend Antonio had an embarrassing habit of throwing temper tantrums when they got into fights. “He’d give me the silent treatment or take jabs at me whenever we were among friends,” explains the 30-year-old Colombiana from New York City. Leia discovered it was a pattern he couldn’t break.

For three years, Leia and Antonio would argue, play the blame game, make up, and repeat. But Leia realized Antonio never owned up to his behavior. “He’d ask me to be understanding,” shares Leia. At first, she empathized — she had felt abandoned as well. “We all have insecurities that can play out in relationships,” explains Xiomara A. Sosa, a clinical mental health-forensic counselor and founder, president, and CEO of The Get-Right! Organization. When insecurities that are born out of parental neglect and abuse go unresolved, they “can create a dysfunctional relationship that is filled with chaos and stress.”

At Leia’s insistence, Antonio went to counseling, but that didn’t last very long. “Once the subject of his grandmother came up, he stopped therapy and never went back,” she admits.

Sensing that Antonio would never get the help he needed to move forward, Leia moved on without him.

3. The situation: He’s a recovering addict. Mari?a, 31, always knew her boyfriend Toma?s had a rough upbringing. They had heart-to-hearts about how his father’s death left a gaping hole in his life and how he drank to forget. A few weeks into dating, they took a road trip to San Diego to unwind. The second morning of their trip, Mari?a found Toma?s passed out and covered in vomit, an empty tequila bottle at his side. “I was in disbelief,” admits Mari?a. She was sure then that she’d break up with him. But when she got news that her abuelita was in the hospital, it was a sobered-up Toma?s who insisted on driving her there.

Now married, the couple has come a long way. Though he stumbled at the start of their relationship, Mari?a stayed with Toma?s to offer the support he needed to recover. “While we were dating, he severed ties with all of his childhood friends,” Mari?a explains. “By the time our oldest son was a year old, he stopped drinking completely.” With her support, and his own hard work, Toma?s slowly became a better father and husband to his family.

Credit: Cosmo[olitan

Kylie Jenner Explains Her Relationship With Tyga On Ellen Degeneres Show

Kylie Jenner’s interview with Ellen Degeneres doesn’t air until Monday, but the show has released a sneak peek and it’s juicy. While Kylie is really there to promote her upcoming lipstick line, Ellen doesn’t let her get away too easy, asking her if she really, actually broke up with Tyga.

“I don’t know what’s going on, all I hear is that you’re with Tyga, you’re not with Tyga?” Ellen asked.

 “No. We’re not broken up,” Kylie replied adding that “people have it all wrong.”

“We just honestly…we became best friends before anything happened, so I think that, that’s awesome and we’re just like. I don’t know. Hanging out. Living life. We’re still together.”

So, there you have it! She kind of answered the question, right? See for yourself in the clip, below.

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Credit: Seventeen

8 Ways To Tell If Your Relationship Is Going To Last

1. You love your partner

This is one of the easiest ways to spot if you’re in the right relationship. You know that you truly love your partner.

2. You’re willing to risk heartbreak

You’ve put your heart on the line for this person. You express your true self and you’re vulnerable. You know you’re putting your heart at risk — and you’re OK with it.

3. You can tell them anything

If something is bothering you, you can tell your partner without fear of possible repercussions. Additionally, no topic is off-limits for the both of you because you want to be open and honest with each other about everything. Secrets can damage relationships, and you recognize that.

4. Your partner supports you in all of your endeavors

No matter how silly your dreams may be, your significant other will stand by and support you no matter what. You also give your partner the same courtesy and encouragement with his or her dreams and aspirations.

5. You argue

This seems negative, but it is in fact a sign that you’re on the right track in your relationship — as long as you’re not having the same arguments over and over again. A study on married couples, conducted in India, found that 44% of pairs believe that fighting “helps keep the lines of communication open,” as reported in the Daily Mail.

The study, which was conducted by the relationship site Shaadi.com and market research agency IMRB, discovered that these findings echoed those from Western countries, pointing out that fighting and addressing problems constructively through arguing gives way to a more stress-free relationship.

6. You don’t lose yourself

Sometimes, when people enter into a relationship they tend to become so enthralled by their partner that they lose sight of themselves and cut themselves off from friends and family. It’s not on purpose, but their lives become all about their partner, which is not healthy. You should be able to maintain a sense of self with your partner and not lose track of the people and things that are important to you outside your relationship.

7. You feel like a different person

You feel like a better human being. Your partner makes you want to be a better person, and you bring out the best in each other. You’re proud to be with your significant other, and you feel confident about the relationship overall.

8. You respect the people she’s close to and vice versa

You want to meet your partner’s family, friends, and whoever else is important to him or her. You don’t feel threatened by those relationships, and you are happy to embrace these people with open arms.

Credit: CheatSheet

What Breakup? Kylie Jenner Steps Out With Tyga To Justin Bieber’s AMA After Party

Rumored to have broken up with her Boyfriend Tyga, Kylie Jenner looked stunning in a little white dress as she and that same rumored Ex boyfriend Tyga headed to Justin Bieber’s party after the American Music Awards. Ello haters i hope y’all can rest now and leave this Beautiful couple to be great biko……. More photos below…

I’m Still Single And Searching For The Woman Who Can Handle Me – Alex Ekubo

Nollywood actor, Alexx Ekubo, who is the first runner up at the 2010 Mr. Nigeria contest, says he is still very single and searching for the woman who can handle him.

In a recent chat with VillageSquare TV , he disclosed that he is single for now and still searching for that right person who can handle him. He noted that he is very prim and proper and likes things to be a certain way.

It will be recalled that some time last year, the handsome Nigerian model and actor, was purportedly linked with the Ghanaian actress, Yvonne Nelson. The duo were alleged to have been dating secretly
for some time, according to a popular entertainment site in Ghana,  Dailypost reports.

Following the alleged relationship between these two, Yvonne at that time wrote on her Instagram handle and captioned a photo in which they both laid side by side. “In bed…onset…with this hotttttie @alexxekubo. Why am I still Single? #secondary virgin?” she wrote @yvonnenelsongh.

Notwithstanding the allegations, the actor said, “I am single for now, still searching; searching for that right one that can handle all these greatness that I have in-built in me.

“I am a handful. I am the kind that makes sure this and that must be proper, must be done right.

“I am not a heart breaker, I am a sweetheart. Look at my eyes,” he said.

5 Things You Can Do To Better Your Relationship

1. Be wrong and be happy about it

If you’ve developed the habit of needing to be right, you’ve probably experienced the unfortunate side effect of being lonely or misunderstood. When couples think in terms of “I’m right, you’re wrong,” the relationship is divided and there can be no growth. When couples focus not on being right, but on being connected and growing together, then everybody wins.

Some of the greatest relationship connections you’ll ever make occur when you apologize and commit to doing better after making a mistake. Rather than rubbing your partner’s nose in his or her wrongness, empathy will allow you to see the feelings and needs behind the actions in order to connect, share understanding, and heal. Open communication will ensure that wounds are healed with empathy and emotional connection.

2. Rebuild trust together

It is impossible to be open and vulnerable with someone you do not trust. If someone has hurt your trust, you have the option to protect against future pain for the rest of your relationship — which often involves attacking one another and distancing yourself — or sharing your feelings and needs in a state of vulnerability.

When you choose the latter option, you send out powerful “grow with me” signals that give your spouse the opportunity to step up and fill your needs. They could reject you, but if you have faith and frame the conversation around your feelings and needs, there will be no attack for your partner to guard against. And when you do make that emotional connection, the wounds will heal. Healing emotional wounds is a form of growth that, when practiced, will dramatically impact a couple’s level of intimacy and commitment.

3. Do new things together

After you establish trust in your partner, then you can begin to add to the foundation of your relationship. This is when the flower of your relationship starts to bloom again as the water of your love is supplied regularly. Once you establish a deep trust that is founded on empathy and experience, rather than blind ignorance, you can begin to transform that flower into a rose garden. Then you become free to experience new things together again, to learn together, and to make your love dynamic again.

Take dancing lessons, go rock climbing or sky diving, learn a new language, and grow together in playful ways. Plan new hobbies and activities that satisfy the fundamental need for growth in a relationship. Novel experiences are important to a flourishing love, and your willingness to try new things with your partner will be based on your level of trust.

When you both experience vulnerability together, you will be able to empathize with your partner and appreciate their humanness. You’ll begin to see the inner child in your significant other; excitement, earnestness, and love will grow along with your intimacy.

4. Have sex

Having sex in a marriage relationship is much more than a simple, physical act. It is sharing intimacy, vulnerability, spirituality, emotional connection, and love in the most sublime way. When you are in a protective mode, having sex is not enjoyable or desirable because sex is a growth activity.

Humans are one of the few animals that are exposed completely during sex, so it is the most vulnerable activity we engage in. As you shift your relationship to a “grow with me” mode, your desire for sex will be rekindled. There is no limit to sexual satisfaction in a monogamous relationship, and couples commonly report increased satisfaction even into their golden years. View sex as the privilege for the responsibility you show to all of your emotions and needs. Have it frequently, and make time for it if your schedules are busy.

When sex is used outside of the context of intimacy, appreciation, and vulnerability, it becomes nothing more than a common drug, which acts as an impediment to growth and connection. When sex becomes a physical symbol of these words — “I have such faith, respect, and trust in you that I could bring new life with you” — it becomes a sacred thing. But things are only as sacred as what is sacrificed for them, so if you want a healthy sex life, make sacrifices to grow together.

5. Express gratitude and appreciation routinely

Gratitude speaks “grow with me” just as loud as any action. It says so many things in such a compact way. “I care for you, I appreciate you, I value you, I think you’re amazing.” The more gratitude is expressed in your relationship, the more room you’ll have to grow. Remember, you are the co-manager of your relationship, so you get to exercise effective leadership and management techniques if you want to succeed.

Credit: CheetSheet

Future Can Have All My Chynese Leftovers, Tyga Reacts To Blac Chyna’s Rumoured Relationship

Future and Tyga once collaborated on a hit record — “Show You” — and they’re friendly, so on the surface it would seem Future violated the bro code by taking down Blac Chyna.

But  sources say that Tyga made it clear that he gives “zero f***s” about Future’s relationship with Chyna. He’s in hook, line and sinker with Kylie and that’s the only woman he cares about.

In fact, it’s been said that he’s open to collaborating with Future on another song.

Credit: TMZ

I Called Off The Wedding After My Fiancée Assaulted Me, Does She Deserve Another Chance?

""We’ve been together for two years, engaged for one. On two separate occasions after the birth of our child, she assaulted me (punching, biting, choking) over accusations I was cheating on her with my ex. I am literally twice her size, so I only had scratches on me both times, but the psychological shock factor was quite high, and I called off the engagement.""

Overall, the relationship was really good for the first year. However, during the second year, her anger and jealousy towards my ex became more frequent and often resulted in her calling my ex randomly and the two of them getting in verbal or text fights for no apparent reason. It got so bad, my ex called me crying asking me to make her stop.

Many people have weighed in, and many of them say I should give her another shot because she committed to therapy, is now taking meds, and the fact we have a child together. They blame postpartum psychosis, and the stress she endured from her high-conflict divorce and said her behavior towards me wasn’t “the person they knew.” Others are taking the “She’s mentally ill and things will only get worse. Sorry, but stay away and be happy she didn’t stab you.”

I really don’t know what to do. I am worried about our child and yet don’t want to commit to something that could only get worse over time. I now worry I would retaliate against her if she did it again, and land myself in jail. We both have children from our first marriages, and I would not want her doing that to one of my kids.

I am of the mindset that if someone escalates to physical violence in order to express anger or frustration in a relationship, then it’s dysfunctional and should probably be abandoned. However, I’m in very deep with her and feel trapped.

What should I do?

 Credit: madamenoire

 

Blac Chyna Confirms Relationship With Future With This…

Blac Chyna got the Internet buzzing  when she posted what appears to be a fresh, new tattoo on her hand.

Instead of a powerful symbol or famous expression, however, the model decided to choose one special word that happens to be the name of a famous rapper. Yes, she may have inked “future” onto her body for all to see.

“Thought it was a drought ,” she wrote on Instagram. And for those not up to date on Future’s rap career, the words make up the title of one of his singles from the album Dirty Sprite 2.

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Credit: E!

7 Reasons He Feels Insecure About Your Relationship

1. He doesn’t think you make enough time for him. There’s nothing wrong with wanting your space, or having a job that forces you to travel a lot. But if he wants to see you more and you’re not sure how much time you should be investing in a relationship, ask yourself this: “In the time I spend not seeing my boyfriend, could I hypothetically be spending time with a secret family that I have across the country?” If the answer is “yes,” then you can probably spare a few more hours a month.

2. He caught you talking to another guy and you acted really shady about it. There’s nothing wrong with having guy friends, or answering a coworkers text. There’s a lot wrong with freaking out, covering your phone, screaming, and then smashing it against the wall when your boyfriend peaks over your shoulder. That’s crazy suspect, and you wouldn’t do that unless you had something to hide (or your work deals with top secret information that he’s not allowed to know; also understandable). Be chill.

3. He’s never been to your apartment. Or met any of your friends. If your real life relationship parallels that of any movie character who “doesn’t want to get too close,” it can make a guy (or anyone) feel like you’re hiding something.

4. He thinks you treat him more like a friend than a lover. It’s not as if you need to constantly be engaging in PDA or holding hands while skipping down the street, but if you act like you can’t even bear to kiss or touch him, that can really screw with his self-esteem.

5. You’re way more successful than him. This is one he’s just going to have to get over, but everyone can feel pretty shitty when they’re the less successful one in the couple. Don’t hide your promotion from him, but just be a little sympathetic if it gives him a complex about his job.

6. You’re a really big deal on Instagram. Yeah, the odds of you leaving him for someone who comments “u r so hot bb” is pretty much zero, but insecurities don’t have to be rational.

7. He’s been cheated on before. He’s coming into this relationship assuming that at some point things will blow up in his face. Just be patient and show him he can trust you.

Credit: Cosmopolitan

Khloe Kardashian Splits From James Harden, Vows To Stay By Lamar Odom

Anyone surprised? Khloe Kardashian has put a hold on her relationship with James Harden, in the wake of Lamar Odom’s medical crisis ,TMZ  reports:

We’re told Khloe is putting her relationship with the NBA star on ice, and as one source puts it, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see she still has deep feelings for Lamar.

It has also been claimed that Lamar, managed to  tell Khloe that he ‘loves her’, after waking from a coma.She has vowed to support him especially as it’s thought ex-NBA star Lamar will take months to be nursed back to health.

Meanwhile, Lamar has now been discharged from Sunrise hospital in Las Vegas and transferred to
LA. E News! reports Khloe rode in the helicopter with her husband.

How Laughter Defines The Quality Of Your Relationship

Couples who laugh together reported higher quality relationships, in a study published in Personal Relationships this August.

The researchers, from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, recorded 71 heterosexual couples telling the story of how they first met. They then counted how many times the couple laughed, and whether they were laughing together or alone.

Couples who laughed together more reported having higher quality relationships, defined by their feelings of closeness and support.

The laughs also exposed some gender differences. Of the nearly 1,400 laughs the researchers recorded, 62% of them came from the women.

But men’s laughs were more likely to be contagious, causing their female partner to laugh with them. And this reciprocation had a special effect on the men.

“The greater the duration of shared laughter in the lab, the higher the men’s ratings of commitment, satisfaction, and passion toward their partners,” lead study author Laura E. Kurtz, a graduate student, told Tech Insider. “These findings suggest that there may be something especially potent about shared laughter for men.”

The sample size of 71 couples is too small to know whether there’s a similar effect in the general population, but Kurtz said previous research supports this association.

She also told us that she suspects “that shared laughter may play a causal role in promoting [high quality] relationships,” though this study showed only a correlation.

Creditbusinessinsider

What Different Types Of Kisses Say About Your Relationship

First up, The Cheek Kiss:

The Cheek Kiss is a kiss that is all about conveying that you like someone. Rather than dive right in at the mouth, one person lays a gentle kiss right on the other’s cheek.

This kiss is about friendship and affection. The person planting the kiss may have romantic feelings for the receiver, but this moment isn’t about that romance. This is about a true fondness, conveying the message that “I like you.

“A kiss on the cheek that comes years into a relationship may just indicate that the all-important friendship still exists underneath it all.

And then there’s the Sloppy Kiss:

The Sloppy Kiss is one that is all about sexual energy. Each person abandons any rhyme or reason and simply lets the fluids fly with this open mouth kiss.

Author Sheril Kirshenbaum writes, “Men tend to express a preference for wet, sloppy, open-mouthed kisses.” But that’s not to say women won’t enjoy them as well.

This kiss shows that the typical order of a relationship is secondary to the physical aspect of the relationship. One shouldn’t be surprised if this kiss quickly leads to the bedroom.

And what about the sweetness that is the Butterfly Kiss?

The Butterfly Kiss is one that doesn’t involve the lips at all. Two people put their eyes as close together as possible and flutter their eyelids against one another’s.This kiss is all about young love.

Very rarely will you see more mature or experienced relationships utilizing this type of kiss to express their love. This kiss shows an excitement and newness about things that will likely evolve into other, more stable kissing types.

Creditcosmopolitan

Scott Disick Buries Relationship With Kourtney Kardashian? Dating 18-Year-Old

Scott Disick has been spotted out and about schmoozing a new ladyfriend following his split from Kourtney Kardashian earlier this year.

No less than an 18-year-old ladyfriend, in fact.

The self-proclaimed Lord Disick was pictured relaxing on a sun lounger with a very young Lindsay Vrckovnik laying on top of him.

32-year-old Scott was pictured with the recent school graduate the morning after they had been sighted out partying until 6 am.

Read More: yahoo

Kylie Jenner’s Relationship In Crisis As She Compares Tyga To Drake

Kylie Jenner and Tyga’s relationship is reportedly on the fritz and the two have allegedly been dissing one another in their recent fights.

According to Hollywood Life, the 18-year-old totally insulted her boyfriend’s rap career by comparing him to Drake, and Tyga made a snide remark about Kylizzle’s Snapchat skills.

“She asked him once, ‘Don’t you want to be in the club and hearing the fans rap one of your songs like they do Drake?’” a source told Hollywood Life.

The source added, “She’s not berating him to do so, she’s simply encouraging him.”

Tyga supposedly did not appreciate the comment and the insider said, “He got extremely offended and heated,” adding, “He said, ‘Bae, how dare you compare me to that meathead, Drake. That f–ked up. You don’t know nothing about rap.’”

The 25-year-old “Rack City” singer hit below the belt and reportedly insulted his girl’s selfie taking skills!

“[Rap has] much more skill involved than sitting around Snapchatting all day.”

The reality star allegedly brushed off the comments and the source said, “Kylie didn’t take offense to it,” adding, “All she said was, ‘You’re right’ and ‘I was just trying to motivate you.’”

Credit: intouchweekly

 

If You Think This Is Normal In A Relationship, You’re In Trouble

From time to time in a long-term relationship we get annoyed and impatient with each other, but if your man criticizes you constantly you’re involved in an emotionally abusive relationship.

Slowly but surely toxic partners will work to undermine your confidence in order to control and contain you.

They criticize the way you look, the way you talk, the way you eat, the way you do pretty much everything.

They’ll even criticize you for reacting negatively to their outrageous, emotionally abusive behavior.

My client Beatrice (not her real name) was living with her boyfriend of three years, Matthew.

Matthew had been inconsistent and unreliable throughout the course of their relationship, but when they moved in with each other (which Beatrice thought would be a cure) his bad behavior ramped up exponentially.

He began getting home from work several hours later than expected and wouldn’t answer any of Beatrice’s texts or phone calls to explain his whereabouts.

One night at 4 a.m. Matthew still wasn’t home and wouldn’t respond to texts or calls. In desperation Beatrice called one of Matthew’s colleagues, Jim, waking him up.

Jim told Beatrice that he’d been out with Matthew at a bar, but that they’d parted ways at midnight.

Matthew finally returned home at 7 a.m. to discover an infuriated Beatrice waiting up for him, yet he somehow managed to steal her thunder.

“Did you call Jim at four in the morning?” he asked angrily.

“Yes, I was looking for you and you wouldn’t answer your phone!”

Matthew rolled his eyes in disgust. “That’s incredibly embarrassing,” he informed Beatrice. “You’re acting like white trash.”

Oh yes he did.

And Beatrice, who’d grown up in a home filled with inconsistency and infidelity, and afflicted with the low self-esteem that can breed, actually felt ashamed for embarrassing Matthew and acting like “white trash.”

Toxic men (and women btw) tear you down so they can control you, to make you think you don’t deserve all that you want and even what you need.

It keeps you trapped by making you think no one else will take you with all of your flaws and confuses you by making you think that you’re the one who’s damaged.

That is some pretty toxic behavior.

Credithuffingtonpost

6 Signs Your Relationship is Bound to Fail

1. Harsh Startups

From the moment you begin a conversation with your partner, you’re immediately negative. You criticize, use sarcasm, and maybe even throw some biting words into the mix. This is referred to as a “harsh startup.” If any interaction begins like this, it will inevitably end the same way. Consequently, this leaves you and your partner feeling even worse than you did at the inception of the discussion, and most likely without any kind of resolution. To combat this tendency, talk to your partner about making a serious effort to toss some positivity into your daily ritual. Instead of beginning an interaction with a nasty edge, try to open with a compliment or something you appreciate about your partner. While this ugly habit may be difficult to break, if you both become more self-aware of your actions, positive change is possible.

2. Signs of the apocalypse

Possibly the most talked-about aspect of Gottman’s research are what he refers to as the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. They include:

  • Criticizing: Constantly critiquing and putting down your partner. You turn every less-than perfect action (like forgetting to take out the trash) as a reflection of character.
  • Contempt: Displaying an unfortunate combo of disgust and anger toward your significant other. You don’t respect your partner whatsoever and rather view yourself as superior.
  • Defensiveness: You don’t take any responsibility for your contributions toward problems in your relationship. Rather, everything is your partner’s fault.
  • Stonewalling: Completely withdrawing from any kind of conflict or serious discussion with your significant other, refusing to effectively communicate. This is by far the worst of the four horsemen behaviors, and a sure sign of relationship failure if the behavior continues.

3. Flooding

The term “flooding” means that your partner’s negative actions, whether it’s criticism or defensiveness, is so overwhelming that you become paralyzed. You shut down emotionally and completely detach from the relationship because you simply cannot handle the toxicity. These feelings usually lead to even more contempt over time, and a quick deterioration of a relationship.

4. Body Language

When you interact with your partner, are you closed off? Arms crossed? Face scowling? Maybe even some yelling? These are common reactions when you’re feeling flooded, along with increased heart rate, a secretion of adrenaline and an increase in blood pressure. Whatever the cause of these physical reactions, one thing is certain, it renders you unable to have a productive conversation with your significant other. If you notice yourself physically reacting in this way, try to take a few deep breaths, or ask your partner to give you a moment to calm down before you proceed. Of course, these steps are much easier said than done, but doing so will help lead to a more conducive discussion and hopefully result in a resolution.

5. Positive/Negative Balance

A combination of negative and positive is like the yin and yang of any healthy relationship. Negativity can play an important role in a relationship, such as calling out and eradicating interaction patterns that don’t work. But the key is balance. If constant negativity is keeping you and your partner from recovering from past fights, this is a recipe for disaster. Gottman’s magic ratio is 5:1. For every negative event, you need 5 positive events to restore balance and promote happiness. So if you find yourself in the negative territory too often, try to go out of your way to something nice for your partner. With a little effort, it’s only a matter of time before the balance is restored.

6. You can’t forgive and forget

If you find yourself still resenting your significant other for something that happened five years ago, then chances are you two won’t be together for another five. If you’re unable to let go of past problems then you could get stuck in what Gottman calls “bad memories.” This type of mindset leaves you viewing your past, present, and even future relationship in a negative light, often worse than it actually is. Instead of remaining in this unpleasant space, try to remember good times and positive qualities about your partner. When Gottman interviews happily married couples, they look at their past fondly and remember difficult obstacles they faced as opportunities for growth in their partnership.

Read more: cheatsheet

Good Or Bad? Identify Your Relationship In This Comic Illustration

One way to know you’re in the right relationship? Your spouse finds your little quirks and odd habits endearing rather than embarrassing.

Cartoonist Sarah Andersen of the website Sarah’s Scribbles highlights that important distinction between a good relationship and a crappy one in the cute comic below:

Credithuffingtonpost

Buhari Has No Personal Relationship With New INEC Boss, Presidency Tells PDP

The Presidency yesterday said that due process was followed in the appointment of Mrs. Amina Zakari as the Acting Chairman of the Independent National Electoral Commission, INEC. Her appointment has generated concerns and reactions from many quarters.

One of such quarters is the opposition Peoples Democratic Party, PDP which accused the President of naming an ally of his to pave way for the ruling All Progressive Congress, APC reclaim the PDP controlled States at the election Tribunal through some dubious means.

The party also accused President of over ruling Jega who had earlier handed over to another senior staff of the Commission.

But reacting to the concerns raised by the PDP, the presidency through the Special Adviser to the President on Media and Publicity, Mr. Femi Adesina said that due process was followed in making the nomination.

In a statement issued late last night, Adesina said that “Mr Metuh’s spurious claims of her appointment having been influenced by “personal relationship with the Presidency” and a Governor in the North-West “to pave the way for the APC” at election tribunals should be disregarded by the public.”

He added that Buhari did not over rule Jega in the appointment of Zakari.

According to him, the allegations were unfounded, deliberately made to denigrate the president.

The statement read thus: “We have noted with regret, the latest tirade against President Muhammadu Buhari issued today by the PDP’s Spokesman, Mr Olisa Metuh.

“Other than boring reporters at his press conference with a rehash of baseless allegations of inaction against the President, Mr Metuh clearly had nothing new to say apart from his charge of nepotism and partisanship in the appointment of the Acting INEC Chairman, which also lacks any factual foundation.

“President Buhari certainly did not “overrule” Prof. Attahiru Jega in appointing Mrs. Amina Zakari as the Acting INEC Chairman, as Mr Metuh alleged.

“Prof. Jega’s purported handing over to another Commissioner cannot be construed as an “appointment” because only the President has the constitutional authority, which he exercised to appoint Mrs Zakari as acting Chairman of INEC.

“Contrary to Mr Metuh’s allegations, President Buhari’s appointment of Mrs Zakari as Acting INEC Chariman was based entirely on merit, her vast experience in the internal operations of INEC and the President’s commitment to affirmative action in support of gender equality, because, apart from being fully qualified for the position, Mrs Zakari was the only woman among the six Commissioners considered.

“Due Process was certainly followed in Mrs Zakari’s appointment. Mr Metuh’s spurious claims of her appointment having been influenced by “personal relationship with the Presidency” and a Governor in the North-West “to pave the way for the APC” at election tribunals should be disregarded by the public.

“The allegations are nothing but falsehoods contrived by Mr Metuh to unjustly denigrate a President popularly elected by Nigerians to undo the damage done to the nation by years of PDP rule.

“His claim that the PDP has rejected Mrs Zakari’s appointment is also laughable after he had admitted that the right and power of the President to make such appointments cannot be questioned.”

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9 Signs Your Marriage Was Doomed From The Start

Sometimes, cold feet are a sign of something far more serious than a case of pre-wedding jitters.

What doubts are particularly foreboding prior to marriage? Below, experts weigh in with nine signs that your relationship may have been doomed from the start.

1. You were just too different.
He’s a Republican, she’s left of Al Franken. Her weekends and evenings are filled with CrossFit and adult kickball, his life is centered around League of Legend tournaments. Everyone likes to idealize the opposites-attract relationship, but when push comes to shove, those differences oftentimes get the best of a couple, especially when there are also communication problems, said divorce attorney Morghan Richardson.

“In real life, the dynamic that made the dating relationship exciting can eventually erode the marriage if the couple doesn’t learn how to grow their communication skills,” she said. “As you may have learned firsthand, some clashes — especially those related to religious beliefs — are nearly impossible to find middle ground on.”

2. Your partner monopolized all of your time.
It’s completely understandable that you wanted to spend every waking moment with your S.O. when you first got together. But if your partner got jealous when you spent time with friends and family, that’s when you should have taken a big step back, said Jim Walkup, a licensed marriage and family therapist.

“You may now remember your partner’s jealous and suspicious interrogations about anything you did without him or her, and if you sought to reassure your partner, you were met with distrust,” Walkup said. “Today you probably recognize that as a need to control. Unfortunately, that’s a deep-seated character flaw that all too often goes unaddressed in relationships.”

3. Waitstaff were treated like second-class citizens.
What’s the best way to get a quick read of a partner’s character early on? Watch how he or she treats waitstaff at a restaurant. If a date is rude, it’s in your best interest to say “check, please” and run, advises Karyl McBride, a licensed marriage and family therapist and author.

“If your ex treated others badly in public — like being unkind to waitstaff — or generally seemed to think they were deserving of having their needs met immediately, it should have set off alarms,” McBride said. “Typically how a person treats others is how they will end up treating you and your children in the long run.”

4. You never discussed your future.
It’s not necessarily exciting to map out plans for your financial future as a couple. But a baseline understanding of your partner’s hopes for the years to come could have helped you stave off divorce, said Florida divorce attorney Krista Barth.

“From the beginning, you should have known if your spouse was drowning in consumer debt or was more about keeping up the appearance of having money than actually earning,” Barth said. “That’s vital information.”

5. The sex was mediocre at best.
The sex isn’t going to be mind-blowing at every stage of your relationship. Still, if it wasn’t anything to write home about to begin with, you may have made a major mistake in getting married, said Abby Rodman, a psychotherapist and author ofShould You Marry Him?: A No-Nonsense, Therapist-Tested Guide to Not Screwing Up the Biggest Decision of Your Life.

“Making a lifelong commitment to someone you have a blah sex life with is rarely good idea,” she said. “Perhaps you thought your partner’s good qualities would make up for a less-than-great sex life.”

Eventually, she said, you and your libido probably realized that compromise wasn’t for the best.

6. There was verbal abuse.
It’s not easy to identify a verbally abusive partner in the beginning stages of a relationship — he or she is too busy trying to charm and win you over, said dating expert and author Marina Sbrochi. That said, there are warning signs to be more cognizant of in the future.

“Your partner might have insulted you and quickly claimed they were joking when you protested,” Sbrochi said. “But slowly, the need for control ramped up and so did the insults.”

No relationship is perfect and sometimes people say things they don’t mean, Sbrochi admitted. “But normal people apologize and don’t do it again. Little by little, verbal abusers will bring you under control until you have lost yours.”

7. Friends and family weren’t supportive of the relationship.
Your S.O was never going to be universally loved by everyone in your life. Still, it should have given you pause if there was a general consensus among friends and family that your partner wasn’t right for you, Walkup said.

“Those close to you may have said that you were becoming a person they no longer recognized and personally, you may have started to dread their feedback,” the marriage therapist explained. “Whenever your partner starts to take you away from the values others know are important to you, you should be concerned.”

8. You didn’t make career decisions together.
Even the best laid career plans can be interrupted by the ups-and-downs of the job market. If you never had a discussion about your career ambitions — or how you’d react if things didn’t go as planned — you were already at a severe disadvantage, said Richardson.

“We’ve had several cases where a husband or wife seemed ambitious: studying for an advanced degree or making efforts to get U.S. credentials for foreign studies,” the divorce attorney explained. “When those efforts failed, they gave up, which left the other spouse feeling betrayed. Planning for the best and the worst needs to happen.”

9. You felt compelled to change for your partner.
You want to be the best version of yourself when you’re in a relationship. If your partner subtly or not-so-subtly suggested you needed to change, it should have been a red flag, Rodman said.

“That change may have been a small one that’s always rankled you or a life-changing one that left you wondering how you’d be able to commit to it,” the psychotherapist said. “It goes without saying that any relationship based on you not being your authentic self will find itself in rocky straits before long.”

Credithuffingtonpost

10 Huge Relationship Mistakes Smart Women Make

1. Trying to get him to be more motivated. If he can’t get a job he actually likes (so he’s not constantly complaining about how horrible his social work job is because he hates children) on his own, you’re not going to be able to move his lazy-ass mountains.

2. Thinking that his past relationships don’t necessarily mean anything. So he dated someone who was a “total whore”? Yeah, guess what? He’s going to call you that too. If anything, she was probably a “whore” you’d get along with and you could bond over the sexist idiot you both dated.

3. Not paying attention to the way he talks about other women. See above, but also the way he talks about his female friends or even just the way he talks about Mindy Kaling or Lena Dunham; all of it adds up and speaks volumes. Don’t ignore it just because he has nice abs. (I have done this and I am very smart, but also: abs.)

4. Not putting enough time into the relationship. I get it. You’re working, you’re busy, you don’t have 24 hours a day to put into some relationship that might not go anywhere. But it’s 100 percent not going to go anywhere if you don’t spend a tiny bit more time and energy on it.

5. Not hanging out with your friends as much because he is your *~FuTuRe~*. And maybe he is! But you don’t want to stop watching Friends marathons with Katie and Jill. Even if he is your future, it’s still important to have more people in your life than one. That’s not what “The One” means. Also, disregarding your friends’ opinions of him. Their opinions aren’t the most important thing, but it’s a red flag if they all hate him. I mean, ideally, they’re all like “OMG how is he so great? Marry him right now… or whenevs, NBD.”

6. Not paying attention to early warning signs or thinking that they don’t really matter. If the fact that he only eats stale dinner rolls for lunch bugs the hell out of you in the beginning, you’re going to throw one at his face six months from now.

7. Not thinking it’s weird that you never hang out with his friends. It is weird. Meeting a guy’s friends is so important because if they’re jerks, he’s probably a secret jerk too. Or, if you’re like me, you meet his friends and realize one of them is way hotter/cooler than the guy your dating, thereby making you realize you don’t really like the guy you’re dating. Sobering stuff.

8. Making all the plans. If he’s just agreeing to show up somewhere, he’s not making much effort. He’s just chillin’ with you ‘til it’s time to touch your boobs. You deserve a legit night out that he actually planned for both of you. If not more than one night out. Lots of them, quite honestly.

9. Keeping a guy around way too long because it was so hard to find a decent guy and you don’t want to have to go through “The Search” again. Let me tell you something, the search is in fact terrible. But I truly believe it is not as terrible as being with a guy who is a pile of garbage wrapped in scraps of old meat.

10. Thinking that because he’s spending tons of money on you that means he loves you and is not just…him spending lots of money on you. It’s awesome when someone is treating you like The Beyonce of Beyonce Castle in terms of gifts and going places and doing cool shit. I love that stuff so much. What I don’t love is when that’s all the person is doing because they can’t articulate a single feeling in their brain or body (ahem, Mark and also Dave).

Credit: Yahoo

Am I Wrong? He is 45, I’m 21 & I Love Him

This is actually my friend’s dilemma. At first, we taught this guy… I mean man is too old for her. But all that changed when she fell in love with him. This man has actually shown my friend world class TLC and he is sincere because I have personally observed him.

I am 4 years older than my friend because she is among the lucky ones who thrived in school at a very tender age. She is very intelligent and we are currently serving together. She met her 45 year old boyfriend immediately after we graduated and the man has moved heaven and earth to prove to her that he is for real. He travels every weekend amid his busy schedule to see her and provides everything she needs.

He just proposed to her last week and she has accepted because she is also madly in love with him. Her only problem now is introducing him to her parents. She is scared if they will accept him and is also worried if accepting his proposal was the right decision. She asked me if he was too old for her and I could not answer her.

But come to think of it, is there anything wrong with marrying someone you truly love, who is also way too older than you?

Send your Life Experiences to articles@omojuwa.com

If Your Guy Does These Things, Congrats! You Found a Real Man

1. He is hygienic, but cleans his nails and trims his nose hairs outside of a nail salon.

2. He can balance both swag and sophistication and a career and a personal life without too many proverbial exclamation points (and certainly not multiple ones in a text message. No, no, no).

3. He reserves his “LOL” for actual laughter, which he exudes out loud and often.

4. He isn’t looking to play “pen pal” with you through your iPhone because he knows that all text and no play makes Johnny a very dull boy.

5. When he’s interested in a woman, he doesn’t wait three days to call her, but he does actually call her, and when he does, he asks her out for dinner, makes reservations, picks a great bottle of wine (because he knows how to) and then makes sure she gets home safely.

6. If he wants to see her again, he lets her know, and if he doesn’t, he politely lets her know that it was a pleasure to spend time with her, even if it wasn’t. He does, however, let her know gently and firmly enough that he’s not interested so that she doesn’t waste her time thinking it might become something it won’t.

7. He reads actual books and newspapers and holds opinions on everything from scotch pairings to world events all the while understanding that not all of his opinions are facts and that not everyone has to agree with him in order for him to maintain his relationships or his manhood. In fact, he enjoys it when you don’t agree with him because it means he gets to indulge you in a good debate or leave you thinking a little bit harder about things than when you sat down in front of him.

8. He opens doors and takes coats, not because he feels a woman is weak, but because he is strong enough to show that he cares about the comfort of those around him.

9. Sure, he might want to get into a woman’s bed, but he’s also interested in getting into her head as experience has shown him that seduction is a delicate dance and the man who resides in her mind has conquered every other part of her.

10. He appreciates a woman who shows she cares for him, but he isn’t interested in being courted. He enjoys taking the lead in courting and doesn’t need to be “chased” because he’s in desperate need of an ego stroke. He also won’t play “puppy dog” to a woman who takes advantage of this.

11. He doesn’t look to be anyone’s father or savior, and he doesn’t pretend to be the leading man in any woman’s fairy tale. He’s just a man looking for a partner who can slay her own dragons, pay her own bills and explore the world alongside him.

12. He looks for a woman who doesn’t need him, but wants him, not for money or the happiness or a baby or a safety net, but solely for who he is.

13. He has a career, a hobby, a family of close friends and a favorite way to have his steak prepared and he isn’t the least bit intimidated when the woman in front of him shares these qualities; quite the contrary, it makes him want her more.

14. He has taken the time to get to know himself and has a strong understanding of his own character and convictions, what he values and what he doesn’t. He is a man who is honest with himself about himself and therefore is OK being honest with those around him.

15. He takes as much pride in the way he treats women he’s with as he does his job and the way he looks.

16. He’s not the bad boy, a good boy, or a boy at all; he’s a man. A leading man, and he’s looking not for a good girl, but a great woman. One who shares all of the solid qualities that he brings to the table, and perhaps, can teach him something along the way. He’s willing to wait and work for this woman, to fight for her and will gladly hold out for her as long as he needs to. But when she comes along, he doesn’t sit on the fence; he’s smart enough to know when he’s gotten damned lucky. And when she finds him, she should be smart enough to know the same.

Credit: www.popsugar.com

4 Huge Mistakes I Made As A Wife- Ex Wife Reveals

1. I put my children first.
It’s easy to love your own children. It takes very little effort, and they adore you no matter what. Marriage is the polar opposite: it’s work. And whenever my marriage started to feel like work, I would check out and head to Build-A-Bear Workshop or the science museum with the kids in tow. I’d often plan these adventures when I knew my husband couldn’t go (and spoil my good time). I told myself it was OK because he preferred to work anyway and always seemed grouchy on family outings. I chose most nights to cuddle with them in our bed, blaming his late-night bedtimes and snoring for the sleeping arrangement. As a result, we were hardly alone together and never had kid-free date nights. Well, maybe once a year on our anniversary.

2. I didn’t set (or enforce) boundaries with my parents.
They were at our house frequently, sometimes arriving unannounced and walking right in. They’d “help out” around the house doing things we never asked them to, like folding our laundry (incorrectly, of course). We’d vacation with them. They’d correct our children in front of us. My own fears of upsetting my parents kept me from drawing a line in the sand and asking them not to cross it. The few times I did stand up for my family’s autonomy, I didn’t hold my parents to the same standards in future. My husband, quite literally, married my entire family.

3. I emasculated him.
I thought love was about honesty, but we all know that the truth hurts. As we grew more comfortable (read: lazy) in our relationship, I stopped trying to take the sting out it. I talked smack to my girlfriends, my mom, my co-workers. All. The. Time. “Can you believe he didn’t do this?” and “Why in God’s name did he do THAT?”

Instead of building up his ego, I trampled all over it. I belittled him often, saying his job was unimportant and dismissing his friends as “hangers-on.” I berated him for doing things wrong when, in all honesty, he just wasn’t doing them my way. At times I spoke to him like a child. I controlled the family finances and grilled him over every single penny he spent. And in the bedroom — yup, you guessed it — he was doing that all wrong too, and I wasn’t shy about telling him so. As our marriage crumbled, I found myself constantly looking for faults and mistakes so that I could justify my superiority. By the end, I had zero respect for him and I made sure he knew it and felt it every day.

4. I didn’t bother to learn to fight the right way.
I know it sounds odd to suggest there is a right way to fight. But there is. I tended to keep the peace in our house by keeping my mouth shut when things were really bothering me. As you can imagine, all the small things that drove me crazy grew into a giant suppressed ball of anger that would erupt occasionally in a huge, really frightening fit of Hulk-like rage. And by rage, I mean rage in the clinical, mental-health definition kind of way. After the fact, I’d justify my anger by saying that a woman can only take so much. Looking back, I was one scary b*tch during those episodes.

I write this mea culpa not with the hopes of winning my ex back, or even wanting his forgiveness. I write this because I can’t believe how long I kept my head buried in the sand. I hope other women out there will yank theirs out and take a good look around. And while I’m still hurt that my husband chose to solve our problems in another woman’s bed when some conversation and counseling might have helped, I absolutely know that my behavior was part of what pushed him there.

Credit: www.huffingtonpost.com

Yvonne Nelson Dating Jimmy Jean Louis?

Ghanian star actress, Yvonne Nelson could be dating Haitian born American actor, Jimmy Jean Louis.

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The actress has been sharing some photos on her Instagram, which probably implies a “more than a friend” scenario.

Aside some pool side photos, the pair visited the Cape Coast Castle in Ghana and the actress also flaunted a new Iphone 6, shortly after which she began sharing their photos together.

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Both of them were starred in the 2013 comedy drama film One Night in Vegas along side John DumeloSarodj BertinVan VickerMichael Blackson and Koby Maxwell.

 The movie might have been the trigger for the rumored relationship as Yvonne captioned last two weeks ago that her “Haitian boo is in town”.

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