#PAUSIBILITY: We Must Scale This Fence. – Adebayo Coker

I was not able to watch the clip of the jumping legislators till last week Sunday. Remember I told you I didn’t want anyone to put sand in the garri I was enjoying at Ake Arts and Books Festival (AABF).

By the way, for some of us that are complaining about the dearth of the reading culture and literary life in Nigeria, we should endeavor to revive it by organizing, promoting and attending literary events like AABF, LABAF and the likes. I must commend the good work done by Lola Shoneyin and her team on the smooth organization of AABF. Kudos!

Back to where we were.

Watching those guys (I may not be able to call them honourable members of the House for now) scale that fence, reminded me of my truant years in the secondary school. I was a confused young man that did not know what he wanted to do with his life and thought malicious mischief was the way to go. Anyway, that confusion stemmed out of my belief that I have to be a strong man in order to be admitted into the Nigeria Defence Academy (NDA), climb the ladder to a point where I could  organize a coup, and gain power. That was the level of warped intelligence that was imputed in my feeble mind at that time; so it was laughable to me watching those guys do what I did many years ago. I wish I was wiser.

I promised you in my first note to you that I will not throw a chair in this house nor any other house. Let me explain that statement to you and what warranted that.

For easy understanding, I will like you to watch a video with me. You can even view the video on YouTube on your own. It was a video of some supposedly grown up men in our Legislative chamber.  They exchanged fisticuffs so raw, they graduated to throwing chairs at one another and eventually tore the clothes of one another to shreds. My son, those guys are some children’s fathers.  They were supposed to be honorable men but what they did was not at all honorable. Worst for their family members, amongst whom are their children, the video is uploaded online for the world to see and for generations to come for reference. 

If the children of such men are yo-mommaed in reference to that act, it won’t be a lie because whatever one does is recorded, somehow. Various videos of such acts and of some other people who have been so creative with the truth but were later found out during panels of enquiries into their acts or their stay in office, abound online. You will find them interesting.

Let me reiterate my promise to you: I will not for any reason bring disgrace and shame to you.

  • A Man Like Me: Noteography Of A Father To His Son.

Listening to the alibi of the Puppet – of- the – Presidency Police Force is another rib cracker. I ask them if their intelligence only picks information around the National Assembly. What happened to their radar around the North-East? And if truly any invasion was advancing towards the National Assembly, I believe the Police should have been at the main entrance of the NASS or that of the Three-Arms Zone; not at the set of the tragicomedy that was beamed live to the amusement of the whole world.

Again, the sub judis claim of the IG that warranted his refusal to recognize and address ‘Honourable’ Tambuwal as the Speaker of the ‘Honourable’ House of Assembly is sickening. Mr. IG (so unrefined),  I have advised you that  it’s too early to display the foolhardiness of your office in the course of history. I’m sure someday we’ll revisit all of these and your unborn generations and those of your instructors may never be able to undo history.

My good people, we all must cross the hurdles laid before us by these robbers of our good fortunes. There is no difference between this set of six and that half-of-a-dozen. We need not continue to be docile and render ourselves free rides for these heartless politicians that some of us see as demigods, whom we sometimes foolishly thank for performing their statutory responsibilities.


Let me paint a picture.

I placed an ad that I am looking for a house help. A guy applies, I screened him, reeled out what I expect of him; he agreed to the Ts &Cs, I employed him and he resumed. Whenever he performs the responsibilities of his office, I praise him. In the course of singing his praises to the high heavens, I ask my house help to do something for me that is part of his job description, but he tells me point blank that he doesn’t have the time to attend to me now as he will be going out with his girlfriend shortly. Because I have allowed him on many occasions to bring his guests to my house, I see nothing wrong in allowing him to go out again this time.

One day, he comes home and tells me he has just met a new friend and she will be coming to visit him, therefore I may have to help him get the house ready for his visitor. In my blind kindness, I oblige him, after all, the good Lord said we should help our neighbours.

Ultimately, the lady arrives and my house help calls out to me to come and serve the drink.

Fellow Nigerians, I am sure some of us will say he must have cast a spell on me but I put it to you that  not all cases like this are voodoo-perpetrated:  our complacency has got the better part of us hence we sheepishly accept whatever is thrown at us by our ‘political-employees’. So sad!

2015 General Election is around the corner. Look at the faces of those that approved 9.2Billion Naira for the purchase of Cooking Stoves in the face of austerity measures. Also, look at the faces of those that nothing else matters to other than their maddening quest to hold on to power; those that could not defend you against Ogwuche and his cohorts, before you cast your vote.

Remember, Baba Iyabo himself did not look well before he leapt.

Thank you.