#Pausibility: September! The EDD For Our Hybrid by Adebayo Coker


I have been in your face too many times recently. I don’t know where this juice is flowing from. I am just bleeding (literary). All thanks to the Almighty, The Giver of all things.

The first few paragraphs of this piece may put a dent on or even put a stop to my writing career. My hands are shaking as my pulse rate is faster than normal but I will do it all the same. I have sworn the Oath of Truth, Nothing But the Truth Always. The allegiance even says … “without fear or favour.” I did a piece: #Pausibility: Gehazi, Vuvuzela-General And The Lesson For The New Generation.  The same rule applies to all our bouts.

Seriously, I cannot put myself to this but I must do it all the same. It is like someone asking me to evaluate a man that has ‘fashied’ the scene and a man that is just coming in. I may find it difficult as the former is A Man Of The People. My judgment may be tagged biased which I wouldn’t like in order not to bring the repute of the officiating of Bouts into disrepute, no matter how miniscule. The man whose slogan is Ambo, that is, am evolving, cannot be sufficiently put to test because one no dey vex for person wey neva arrive. But my summary of it all will be: The Beautyful Ones Are Not Yet Born.

The Grey Elders.

Both of these elders are lords in their domain: Captain Blood (not of the Pyrates of The Carribean series o) and the other lord of THE F-LIES, (flies is purposely spelt because they are usually cleaner than this other lord). The former lord’s autograph is what I crave. I am his devotee. What am I even saying, I super-adore him, die sef join am. His comment (good or bad) on any of my books will increase my book sale and the second lord can order my arrest. The first one can forgive me being his staunch admirer and student but the other lord is one of the most vindictive; neither forgives nor forgets.

BTW: my books are still lounging on those book shelves in Patabah, Surulere and TerraKulture. Prove to the World that if black man no dey read, naija dey read. Make una encourage writers na. Abeg!

Back to the matter: One would wonder the cause of these age-long vituperations. From Ijegba to Egba, even from under the Rock to the top of the Rock in times past. The simple question is: How can an Orangun Ota pilfer someone else’s palm wine? If he wants a drink let him ask, better still, climb a palm tree; but he should not reap where he never sowed. What is happening as this bout has been on for like when I have not been birthed? I suspect someone must have slept with the daughter of someone. Or someone must have laid the wife of someone between these lords. Let someone spill more than the usual, out of free will, because Rule 4 is suspended in this contest just for my hero’s sakes, not because of your tin god. Go and bring your Attorney and I will point him to Rule 10.

On a more serious note: the reactions that followed the team selection of PMB are important and healthy in this dispensation, especially with the background of our born again democrat. It also points to the fact that my people are now more interested in who governs and how they want to be governed. The level of our participation in governance is increasing. Kudos! But we can always take it a notch higher. Once we understand our power to recall as the governed, then all of us will realize our dream of utopia; a ‘free society’.

Please take note that someone from the villa came out (I want to believe this government keeps no puppet) to tell us that we should look forward to the 9th month as it will birth the hybrid that we all clamor for. The cry to jettison Per Capita sharing for Herd sharing will be answered. The former is when credibility, competence and creativity are given preference, the latter is when race, color, sex are considered in appointment to office. The bigots can now go to rest.

May I ask if the hybrid is going to be intercontinental, interracial or intraracial? Whichever, please make sure you don’t mix black with white. Half-caste (literary) are usually confusing to understand. They would ordinarily hold dual, at times, multiple identities.

Make it clean!

Thank you.