6 Signs That Your Partner is Going to Propose

1. Your partner is talking to your friends more, which seems odd

If your significant other has not been too fond of your friends or just not overly friendly with them, and now all of a sudden is talking with them and asking them about your schedule or things that you like, something is up. This digging for information is leading to something. Danielle Rothweiler of Rothweiler Event Design explained to Bustle, “If your S.O. isn’t a big planner and all of a sudden seems concerned about where you will be, and when you will be available, he is looking for a clear date to get on the calendar and pop the question!”

2. Your partner cooked up your favorite meal for no apparent reason

Is your significant other doing overly sweet things for you like cooking your favorite meal for no reason and seem overly-anxious doing it? Is he or she also insisting that you sit properly at your dining room table, which you both never do? Your love may be planning something extra special for dinner. The more adds-ons there are to dinner (candle light, music, fancy dishes), the more likely it is to end with a fiancé.

3. Your significant other has been cutting back on his or her spending

If your S.O. is more of a spender, or doesn’t hesitate to splurge and has recently been cutting back on his or her spending with no explanation, your partner may be planning on popping the question. According to research reported in The Daily Mail, a survey asked British women to cite strange behaviors from their partners right before they were going to propose. The survey found that one of the first signs of an impending proposal was “penny pinching.” More specifically, the survey reported 27% of women noticed their future spouses being much more cautious with their funds, opting not to splurge on getaways.

4. Your partner unexpectedly takes you to a foreign destination

Conversely, the same women in the survey reported that another sign of a possible engagement is your partner whisking you away to a foreign destination and taking care of all the details alone. According to the study, 17% of women say their men “whisked them away to a foreign destination so they could propose in style.” It makes sense. Everyone wants the proposal to be special.

5. You accidentally spot a Google search

If you accidentally spot your S.O.’s Google history on their laptop or phone of engagement rings/styles/sites or anything else that seems mildly wedding related, not only are they doing a poor job at covering their tracks, but they’re also most likely going to propose. Or perhaps they wanted you to find out? Or maybe you shouldn’t have been snooping around in the first place.

6. Your S.O. is acting weird

This is one of those instances that a proposal is the farthest thing from your mind, because you’re thinking that maybe you both are headed for a break up. If your partner is planning to surprise you, which is likely, keeping a secret can be tough. Though Catalog says trying to cover up a ring purchase can be especially hard on someone about to pop the question. Then there’s the even itself. Though it might be strange when he or she suggests the two of you try something you typically never do, it could just be a part of the plan. According to The Knot, such outings could simply be to provide a setting for the big question.




6 Signs Your Relationship is Bound to Fail

1. Harsh Startups

From the moment you begin a conversation with your partner, you’re immediately negative. You criticize, use sarcasm, and maybe even throw some biting words into the mix. This is referred to as a “harsh startup.” If any interaction begins like this, it will inevitably end the same way. Consequently, this leaves you and your partner feeling even worse than you did at the inception of the discussion, and most likely without any kind of resolution. To combat this tendency, talk to your partner about making a serious effort to toss some positivity into your daily ritual. Instead of beginning an interaction with a nasty edge, try to open with a compliment or something you appreciate about your partner. While this ugly habit may be difficult to break, if you both become more self-aware of your actions, positive change is possible.

2. Signs of the apocalypse

Possibly the most talked-about aspect of Gottman’s research are what he refers to as the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. They include:

  • Criticizing: Constantly critiquing and putting down your partner. You turn every less-than perfect action (like forgetting to take out the trash) as a reflection of character.
  • Contempt: Displaying an unfortunate combo of disgust and anger toward your significant other. You don’t respect your partner whatsoever and rather view yourself as superior.
  • Defensiveness: You don’t take any responsibility for your contributions toward problems in your relationship. Rather, everything is your partner’s fault.
  • Stonewalling: Completely withdrawing from any kind of conflict or serious discussion with your significant other, refusing to effectively communicate. This is by far the worst of the four horsemen behaviors, and a sure sign of relationship failure if the behavior continues.

3. Flooding

The term “flooding” means that your partner’s negative actions, whether it’s criticism or defensiveness, is so overwhelming that you become paralyzed. You shut down emotionally and completely detach from the relationship because you simply cannot handle the toxicity. These feelings usually lead to even more contempt over time, and a quick deterioration of a relationship.

4. Body Language

When you interact with your partner, are you closed off? Arms crossed? Face scowling? Maybe even some yelling? These are common reactions when you’re feeling flooded, along with increased heart rate, a secretion of adrenaline and an increase in blood pressure. Whatever the cause of these physical reactions, one thing is certain, it renders you unable to have a productive conversation with your significant other. If you notice yourself physically reacting in this way, try to take a few deep breaths, or ask your partner to give you a moment to calm down before you proceed. Of course, these steps are much easier said than done, but doing so will help lead to a more conducive discussion and hopefully result in a resolution.

5. Positive/Negative Balance

A combination of negative and positive is like the yin and yang of any healthy relationship. Negativity can play an important role in a relationship, such as calling out and eradicating interaction patterns that don’t work. But the key is balance. If constant negativity is keeping you and your partner from recovering from past fights, this is a recipe for disaster. Gottman’s magic ratio is 5:1. For every negative event, you need 5 positive events to restore balance and promote happiness. So if you find yourself in the negative territory too often, try to go out of your way to something nice for your partner. With a little effort, it’s only a matter of time before the balance is restored.

6. You can’t forgive and forget

If you find yourself still resenting your significant other for something that happened five years ago, then chances are you two won’t be together for another five. If you’re unable to let go of past problems then you could get stuck in what Gottman calls “bad memories.” This type of mindset leaves you viewing your past, present, and even future relationship in a negative light, often worse than it actually is. Instead of remaining in this unpleasant space, try to remember good times and positive qualities about your partner. When Gottman interviews happily married couples, they look at their past fondly and remember difficult obstacles they faced as opportunities for growth in their partnership.

Read more: cheatsheet