More times than not, going after your buddy’s ex is off limits and fully violates any type of guy code by which you might abide. But every once in a while, the universe speaks to a person and lets him know that, although it seems wrong at first, there might be a bigger reason your friend dated this person in the first place – maybe it was to connect the two of you, instead. Such a situation, of course, can be tricky, and must be handled with care.
Consider the factors
As with most situations, the decision that’s right for you will depend on your personal relationships, morals, values and beliefs. As Michele Fabrega, a love, intimacy, and sexuality coach for men, tells The Cheat Sheet to consider these factors first:
- How long have you been friends and how close are you? Essentially, how much do you value this friendship and want to maintain it?
- What was the ending of their relationship like?
- How long has it been since their relationship ended? Essentially, how much tension still exists between them, if any?
- How well and for how long have you known his ex? Have you known him or her as your friend’s boyfriend/girlfriend or spouse? Or is this someone you never met before and you have no experience of being with them together as a couple? Most importantly, what are your intentions?