Welcome to Nigeria
Thank You! Thank You!! Thank You!!!
The applause is really appreciated.
Welcome to this side of the world; now we need to just spell out a little ‘something something” for your enjoyment.
A country where a contractor uses substandard materials to build a hospital because lives are not important to them; it’s just another day in the office, business must go on.
A country where politicians love enslavement; enjoys having the people remain poor so they can exploit that weakness for electoral gains. It’s just life and ‘we can’t all be equal’
A country where medical practitioners rationalize medical equipment because humans are going to die REGARDLESS; why stress yourself to prevent the inevitable?
A country that allows her athletes sponsor themselves to world sporting events because that’s the true test of patriotism; how else do they define coolness?
A country where pensioners, who have laboured for years, die while waiting for their legitimate earnings. But some ‘top guy gets a new jet’ irrespective of the economy and the daily pangs of hunger suffered by the populace.
A country where stable power supply cannot be achieved; you know that some top guys must make money from generator sales.
A country where public thieves are conferred with honours and awards while brilliant minds are left to either travel out of the country and change nationality or be left to rot because the system does not recognise ‘hard work’. Brain drain is not much of stress anymore.
A country where a pothole patches is commissioned with fanfare; you know it’s such a tedious task to cover holes successfully. (no pun intended)
A country that criminalised homosexuality but top guys warm beds with young boys; after all, “all animals are equal but are more equal than others”.
A country where pastors, imams and monarchs occupies the top echelon and directs the people sheepishly (democratically elected leaders even draw strength from them) because they are the ‘mouth piece of gods’.
A country where stealing a mobile phone can land you into jail for 20 years but ‘cap banking of 600 thousand dollars’ is just a misunderstanding of intentions; you know 3 > 5 (no offense Mr Bron, Kobe is the only recognised king)
A country where citizens fight themselves on social media rather than uniting against their thieving politicians; 100 dollars for every hashtag is more sustainable than a well-planned future apparently. I won’t blame them sha, 100*(insert today’s exchange rate) #ballintenz.
A country where 1 train took 10 years to be completed. My only anger is that this train isn’t from Lagos to London sha, you gerrit?
A country where a power drunken ex-politician still feels the need to move around with men in uniform not because he is at war with himself (the war they are fighting must be deadlier than Boko Haram or the civil war in Syria) but because his social status is more important than the security of every other citizen.
A country where “god of men” acquire luxurious materials and leave their members who slaved for them to suffer in abject poverty; Even Jesus shared his loaves of bread and fishes but what do I know, they have to store these riches in case Heaven is not real.
A country where her legislative arm of government sees ‘budget padding’ as a thing of pride and parade themselves in a fashion show of shame. So our budget now bleeds every month? What a wowing something! Catch phrase; use our sanitary towel and we guarantee no stains.
And finally, a country where the lawmakers break the laws; law are meant for the poor obviously.
My country is crazy, amidst still trying to figure out what type of system of government we want to run between democracy and dictatorship, we lose the essence of leadership. It is interesting to know that her citizens are the spear headers of this madness, this isn’t going away anytime soon as long as we have parties that don’t have clear ideological leanings and godfathers still ‘endorsing’ candidates of choice prior to elections.
We are stuck with this bullshit (I’m sorry mommy) for life.
