Published:10 Jan, 2016

“What happens now, Frank?”

The subject of Fola’s question shook ash from the cigarette he was holding, made to take a puff – and then abruptly changed his mind. His hand thumped on the table a bit harder than he planned and he winced.

Pain could be heard in his voice; pain and some impatience when he asked, “Happens concerning what?”

The question was rhetoric; considering he’d just told them about Efe and the abortion and everything in between, but left out Igo’s affair. He didn’t feel that concerned them.

Priye, sounding subdued a lot more than was usual for him said; “Folly baba abeg leave the guy small you hear? You no understand wetin dey happen ni?”

“I understand; I understand it has already happened. Igo knows. What else is there but to move on?”

Frank grabbed the whisky glass not too far away from him and emptied it once. The liquid hit him low in the belly and his head swam. Everything went out of focus for a short minute; his sight seemed to be stuck in a whorl –

The world straightened itself out suddenly, enough for him to know Priye was talking.

“Ehn…wetin you talk?” he asked.

“I talk say wetin me I go like know na whether Igo know na im dey pain my guy, or na say e give woman bele she go commot am.”

As one, Fola and Priye shifted in their seats, unconsciously forming a triangle with Frank at the apex of it. He could see the question on both their faces; a question he had been shying away from asking himself too closely because he was afraid of the answer.

And now…

“I swear I don’t know. I think it’s a bit of both. I hate to hurt Igo; I hate to do something so mean. I’d like to say it wasn’t my fault, but I’m not a child. I knew what to expect.”

He dragged air deeply into his lungs. Then he repeated the process, this time with the cigarette in his mouth. “I also don’t like that the first actual pregnancy with my sperm in it ended up being aborted; but what was Efe supposed to do? I mean; think about the story of David and Bathsheba. See what David had to do to her husband at the end of the day because of complications.” He looked directly at Fola. “See why I say God hates everybody?”

“Come first bro. I’m no saint and I’m not trying to preach here, but God has absolutely nothing to do with this. NOTHING.”

Frank shook his head. “But look at how events conspired to lead me to Efe’s house that night.” He paused. “Maybe He has nothing to do with anything; maybe He just happens to be an easy target. At least she’s out of the hospital.”

“All dis una talk just dey spoil my belle. Abeg make we commot.”

Fola nodded and got to his feet. “Not a bad idea, there’s this real cool spot I know on the island. Fish and booze and all that.”

As one, both friends looked at the head of the triangle. “Frank?” Priye said softly.

“Of course I’m coming. You think I’ll stay home?” He struggled to his feet. “Let me put a shirt on.”


“Ol’ boy; this joint dey bang!”

It was lively for a Sunday evening. The setting was just a bunch of canopies arranged neatly in a space – but it was right next to the ocean which lent it refreshing ambience. Soft mood music played, to which a couple of couples moved to in the space between the canopies.

It was relaxing.

Priye extended his right fist across Frank’s chest towards Fola. “Chop knuckle jo!” he said.

“How did you find this place?” Frank asked.

“Well – “ Fola cleared his throat several times. “There’s this girl…this girl I do some things with,” he avoided Frank’s steady gaze; looking instead at Priye. “She brought me here one night and I just fell in love with the fish. It’s the best I’ve had so far.”

Priye, walking as though it was a place he’d been before led them to a table set beside a small fence overlooking the ocean. There were four chairs around the table until Fola lifted one and moved it away.

As though synching their movements, they sat down together.

Fola waved at a girl; pretty with long hair and dimples. She hurried over, smiling and greeting them politely. “Yes? What will you have?”

Priye spoke. “Give us Big Stout.”

“All of you?” she asked.

Frank shook his head. “Heineken for me.”

As she turned to go Fola held her hand gently. “Please call Amaka for me.”

“Who be Amaka?” Priye asked as the girl nodded and walked away.

“That’s the girl who makes the fish.”

Frank looked over the water; appreciating the breeze in spite of himself. The joint was across the water from Ozumba Mbadiwe; he could see the Civic Centre and Lagoon Front from his seat. He liked how the buildings’ lights reflected on the water, sparkling and glittering. He heard Fola’s phone ring; heard his friend say something in a low tone.

“Hope that wasn’t madam o,” he said, turning towards the table.

“At all,” Fola responded. “She knows I’m not coming home tonight; I gave her the gist but summarized it. It was her idea to come spend time with you sef.”

“So who called?”

Fola winked. “You’ll see soon.”

The pretty girl came up just then, bearing a tray with three bottles and just as many glasses.

They were halfway through their drinks when Fola looked up. “Amaka!” he said sourly. “Where were you since, didn’t they tell you I asked for you?”

The light-skinned short girl walking towards their table smiled. “Oga Folly, you supposed understand. My madam is around and she doesn’t like when I leave the kitchen.” She came up beside him and curtsied briefly. “No vex.”

“Vex?!” Priye chirped in. “Why e go vex for fine girl like you?”

Amaka looked at Priye and drew back. “Area!” she saluted.

“Area!” Priye responded with a huge grin and nodded at Fola. “This girl know how far.”


Frank, lost in thought, picked at the fish with fingers that didn’t exactly feel like his.

Somewhere in the distance he heard the phone from earlier ring again; Fola’s. He could tell his friend had gotten up, but everything seemed to be happening close enough for him to notice but too far away for him to care.

He didn’t like what he was drinking; not that anything was wrong with it. He was just in the mood for something harder.

“Priye,” he started to say. “Is there – “

Whatever else he intended to say never got said, because right then Fola appeared on the edge of his vision. Frank wondered if he’d drunk more than usual, because when Fola left the house he was wearing white traditional wear; a buba and sokoto. But the Fola he was looking at had somehow spilled red all over himself.

He blinked and looked again; properly this time.

Fola was still wearing white; the red Frank was seeing came from the girl walking beside him and smiling in his face. Two other girls walked up behind them, two exquisite-looking members of the opposite sex. One of them thick and curvy; the other one slim, short black gown exposing light brown thighs that gleamed.

Frank swallowed a small hill that was growing in his throat.

“Ol’ boy, na the orobo me I like o. You know I like big tins,” Priye whispered roughly in Frank’s ear and elbowed him at the same time. Frank nearly fell off his seat – saving himself only by grabbing the table in time.

“Are you okay?” Fola asked as Frank righted himself, suddenly standing next to him as though he’d just materialized. Frank gently but firmly shook off the condescending-seeming hand on his shoulder and nodded.

“Sure. Who are your friends?”

The girl in red stepped forward. “Me, I’m Bukola. This is Nndidi,” she added, pointing to the slim one. “And that is Halima,” waving at the curvy one. Priye was already holding one of her hands as he spoke.

“Baby, I be Priye and na only me you need know. Here,” from his sitting position he pulled a chair from the next table and set it beside him without liberating Halima’s hand. “Sit down. Let’s talk.”

Somewhat duly, Frank pulled a chair from the same table and invited the shy-looking Ndidi to sit down. “Hi. I’m Frank,” he said, proffering his right hand as she sat down. She took it, squeezed it softly with hers and dropped it.

“Hi, Frank. Pleased to meet you.”

She spoke in a sing-song pattern and a definitely-affected accent. He was about to ask what that was about when Fola’s voice came from somewhere around Bukola’s chest area.

“He’s a correct guy o, Ndi. Take care of him you hear?”

Frank’s gaze wandered to Priye, a question on his face.

He was answered with a wink.


That was the pattern – at least for Priye and Frank – for the next few days.

Frank went to work every day; same as before, but he slept through most of it and jumped out as soon as the skies began to darken. He drove home, met up with Priye and repeated the night before; jumped into whatever car they felt like driving and hit whatever night spot they hadn’t hit yet. And as always, there was always some girl to come home with.

After one of such nights – or mornings; as the case may be, he lay on the bed in his room and blew cigarette smoke towards the ceiling.

He wasn’t doing much else, just smoking and thinking.
I suppose I should be happy that at least, I can actually impregnate a woman. Even though the doctors all said I was fine – we were fine, nothing beats proof.

I cannot get over Igo’s infidelity, no matter how I try to turn it about in my mind. He took a long drag of the cigarette and exhaled, watching the smoke cloud up the ceiling. How could I have not seen the signs?

Something made the bed vibrate, something close to his position. He turned over and spotted his phone gleaming. Reaching for it, he pulled it close and looked at the screen; Idowu.

Shaking his head, he put the phone away and took another pull of the cigarette.
It stopped vibrating – and then it started again, humming away. And like before, its plaintive wails for attention were ignored.


“Guy,” Priye sighed from his corner of the couch in the VIP section of Road Runners. “You go fit do one more for the road?”

Frank nodded, trying to focus bleary eyes on his friend. “Sure, why not?” He waved a cigarette-bearing hand. “I nor go fit drive sha o,” he concluded.

Priye, eager eyes seeking out the girl who had attended them mumbled. “Dat wan sef dey na. You no see me? No shaking!”

“Fola would drive if he was here o.” Frank exhaled cigarette smoke. “Why didn’t he come sef?”

“Dem dey do sixtieth birthday for im oga, so serious parry dey. Why you dey ask – no be you say we no go fit show?” Spotting the girl, Priye waved her over.

Frank wasn’t listening but he heard Priye order for one more bottle of Jack Daniels. He was about to ask his friend why they didn’t stick with the Johnnie Walker they’d had two of before – he’d actually opened his mouth when suddenly;


There was a girl standing before him; a small-framed girl wearing a dress that seemed too long and too short at once. He had to tear himself away from her high breasts to look at her face; she had said his name.

Her eyes were familiar. He’d seen her before; but his brain was sluggish. He just couldn’t think of where.
“How are you doing and how is your friend? Hope he’s out of the hospital.”

Friend? What friend?
Frank took in her figure again. “Fine, fine,” he said, pronouncing the words one by one so as not to slur them. “What are you doing here?”

Her hand waved in circles as she spoke. “Oh, pretty much what everyone else is doing I guess.” She stepped aside to let the serving girl put down the tray she was bearing and continued to eyeball Frank.

Priyehurriedly grabbed the bottle; snatched it open and poured a healthy dose into his glass. And as he reached for the ice bucket, he glanced over at Frank who was staring;

“Tell your friend make she siddon drink with us na,” he said.

Frank looked at the girl. “Well, how about it? Want to sit in my lap and see what comes up?”

For a moment, indecision struggled on her face. And then, calm understanding cleared her features. “I don’t think so. Thank you, and enjoy your evening.” There was a pause – “I’m sorry I misjudged you.”

She turned to go.

Afterwards – much later, she would ask Frank what made him do what he did next. And with an apologetic look on his face, he would say he has no idea. And as absurd as it would sound to her, he wouldn’t be lying about it.

But all that came later.

She turned to go; and Frank slapped her butt.

He was conscious of her gasp; he was conscious of Priye’s chuckle, he was conscious of two liquid eyes that looked familiar – eyes that suddenly looked like they had the fires of hell burning in their depths.

And then a hand connected with his cheek and sparks exploded in front of his eyes – but it wasn’t till he heard the sharp crack that he realized what happened.

She’d slapped him.

The second woman to do so in a week.

When it rains…



Related Posts

Recent Posts

BREAKING: Police raid PREMIUM TIMES head office; arrest publisher, journalist.

The Nigeria police have raided PREMIUM TIMES head office in Abuja, and arrested the newspaper’s publisher.   The publisher, Dapo Olorunyomi, was arrested alongside the paper’s judiciary correspondent, Evelyn Okakwu.   Plain-clothed officers conducted search at the office shortly after 5p.m. Thursday, and said they were acting on a complaint filed by the Chief of Army Staff, Tukur Buratai.   The arrests came days after PREMIUM TIMES turned down the army’s demand to retract news stories about the Nigerian Army and its operations.   The paper’s Editor-in-Chief,...

UPDATE: Nigerian air force ‘overflies The Gambia’ as ground troops prepare to strike.

The Nigerian air force is flying over The Gambia, an official said, as African troops prepare to force incumbent Yahya Jammeh to quit after his December election defeat. "I confirm that the armed reconnaissance air force are over Gambia," Nigerian Air Force spokesman Ayodele Famuyiwa told AFP. "They have the capacity to strike."

BREAKING: Adama Barrow sworn in as President of Gambia.

Adama Barrow, the man who won The Gambia's disputed election, has been sworn in as president. Mr Barrow took the oath at the country's embassy in Senegal. He has been recognised internationally. But Gambian strongman Yahya Jammeh has refused to step down and his term in office has been extended by parliament. West African leaders have tried to persuade Mr Jammeh to admit losing the election. They have threatened to remove him by force. Mr Jammeh lost last month's elections, but wants...

Comic Relief: Even Google is confused about who the President of Gambia is.

As ECOWAS troops continue to march into Banjul the capital of Gambia, in a bid to oust the incumbent president, Yahya Jammeh whose tenure expires today, there has been much uncertainty about the state of the presidency of Gambia.   Presently, the President-elect, Mr Adama Barrow is being sworn-in at the Gambian embassy in Senegal. This unfolding event and more gives rise to the question; "Who is the president of Gambia?" and this has turned out to be a difficult question...

Senegalese troops take over Gambian border as Jammeh’s mandate ends today.

Yahya Jammeh, the Gambia’s longtime president, was holding out in the capital, Banjul, on Thursday after last-ditch diplomatic efforts to persuade him to stand down appear to have failed. The country has been in a state of political uncertainty since Jammeh refused to cede power to the winner of last month’s presidential election, using the courts and parliament to try to extend his 22-year rule. His mandate ended at midnight but he has steadfastly refused to hand over to Adama Barrow,...

BREAKING: Nigerian Senate loses bid to stop deployment of troops to Gambia.

President of the Senate, Bukola Saraki on Thursday deflected a move asking President Muhammadu Buhari to approach the National Assembly for permission before embarking on any military action in Gambia.   A Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) senator from Enugu state, Chukwuka Utazi, had raised a constitutional order which was rejected by Saraki who presided over plenary.   Standing on order 43 of the Senate Standing Rules, Senator Utazi quoted section  5 (4) of the 1999 constitution which required the consent of both Houses...

Gambia’s president is refusing to leave office — even as foreign troops near.

Twenty-three years after taking power and more than a month after a shocking election loss, Gambia's defeated president isn't ready to step down. But by Thursday morning, the pressure on Yahya Jammeh mounted as the country lurched towarda political crisis. Troops from neighboring Senegal moved to the border with Gambia, a tiny West African country on the Atlantic Ocean. Mauritania's President Mohamed Ould Abdel Aziz arrived in the capital, Banjul, the latest in a series of African leaders who have...

Buhari’s Military Action In The Gambia Without Approval, Senate Says.

 The Senate on Thursday criticised the Federal Government under the leadership of President Muhammadu Buhari for deploying troops to The Gambia without seeking legislative approval. The Nigerian Air Force had moved a contingent of 200 men and air assets, led by Air Commodore Tajudeen Yusuf, to Dakar, Senegal, which is the...

Journalists Write Buhari On Southern Kaduna, Call For Stakeholders Conference.

Journalists for Democratic Rights (JODER), a leading Nigerian media rights group, has asked President Muhammadu Buhari to launch an intensive campaign aimed at mopping up arms in the hands of non-state actors across the country, especially in the Northern states. This is necessary to stem the tide of violence that threatens the country's stability, the media group stated. JODER also urged the President to create time to visit Southern Kaduna, saying such a step will boost the dwindling trust...

EFCC Arrests LG Councilor, Six Others For Diverting IDPs’ Rice

A supervisory councilor with Mafa local government area of Borno State, Umar Ibrahim, has been arrested by the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission, (EFCC) in Maiduguri over alleged diversion of 300 bags of rice meant for the Internally Displaced Persons (IDPs) in the area.   Ibrahim, who supervises the local government’s agricultural department, was arrested alongside others named Bulama Ali Zangebe and Modu Bulama in a sting operation carried out by officials of the EFCC zonal office in Maiduguri.   According to...

Why Buhari was not invited for Trump’s inauguration – Fayose

Ekiti State Governor, Ayodele Fayose, has described the non-extension of invitation to President Muhammadu Buhari to attend the Donald Trump’s inauguration as a clear signal that the president does not enjoy international relevance any more. The governor said that the development was a very clear signal that Buhari’s government would not enjoy tangible support from the new US government. Fayose, according to a statement by his Special Assistant on Public Communication and New Media, Mr. Lere Olayinka,

Child Trafficking: Police Intercepts Another Syndicate. [Video]

The Plateau State Police Command has intercepted another syndicate specialised in trafficking children to the south east region of the country. The Police rescued 16 children at a motor park in Jos, Plateau State. The Public Relations Officer of the Command, ASP, Mathias Tyopev told Channels Television that the suspect, a female was apprehended at the Gada Biyu motor park while boarding a vehicle in company of the...

Appeal Court Reserves Judgement On Rickey Tarfa’s Appeal

The Court of Appeal, Lagos Division has reserved judgement in two different appeals filed by a Senior Advocate of Nigeria, Rickey Tarfa, challenging his trial for alleged age falsification and obstructing officers of the law from carrying out their duties. The appellate court presided over by Justice Mohammed Lawal Garba reserved the two appeals for judgement after hearing arguments from the appellant’s counsel, Abiodun Owonikoko (SAN) and that of the respondent, Rotimi Oyedepo. Mr Tarfa had appealed against the rulings of...

Rann Bombing: NAF Sets Up Board to Investigate Accidental Air Strike

The Nigerian Air Force (NAF) has constituted a board of senior officers to investigate the accidental air strike on January 17, 2017 at Rann village, Borno State.   Among its terms of reference, the Board is to determine the immediate and remote cause as well as the circumstances that led to the incident.   A statement by the Director of Public Relations and Information, Group Captain Ayodele Famuyiwa, reads: “This is with a view to forestall future occurrence. In addition to a...

Kaduna Government Proposes 1Bn Naira To Tackle Malnutrition

The Kaduna State government has said it is proposing an annual budget of 1 Billion Naira, to tackle malnutrition, among children in the state. Governor Nasir El-Rufai disclosed this at a summit on emergency nutrition action plan held in the state capital. The governor announced that as part of efforts to address hunger and starvation in the state, his administration will set aside funds to take care of 50,000 malnourished children in collaboration with UNICEF. He however called on the citizens...

Enugu police rescues kidnapped girl sold for N350,000 in Abia

The Enugu State Police Command said that it has burst a kidnapping and human trafficking syndicate that abducted and sold a four-year-old girl in Abia for N350,000. Ebere Amaraizu, the command’s spokesman, said in a statement that the little girl’s kidnap was aided by a family member from Inyi community in Oji River Local Government Area. According to Mr. Amaraizu, the little girl went missing from school without a trace at about 12:45 p.m. on December 15, 2016 and was only...

Woman arrested for stabbing PHCN official in Akowonjo

A joint effort by security operatives attached to the Lagos State Command and the Nigeria Security and Civil Defence Corps, NSCDC, has led to the arrest of a suspect identified as Mrs. Ediale Ayodele.   The suspect was apprehended for stabbing an official of power distribution network, Ikeja Electric in the Akowonjo axis of Lagos State.   According to a report by PM News, the suspect who resides at No. 6, Ayodola Close, Akonwonjo, allegedly stabbed the official who was on a routine...

Gambia: Adama Barrow Reaches Out To Jammeh

Gambia’s president-elect Adama Barrow has again appealed to outgoing President Yahya Jammeh to step aside in the supreme interest of his people and safe the Gambia from civil strive. Mr Barrow said  Mr Jammeh’s refusal to step down will result in a military confrontation and the loss of lives and destructions of public and private properties. President Jammeh’s mandate expired on Wednesday but he is refusing to relinquish power to Adama Barrow, who was declared winner of last month’s election. He had vowed...

University student bites off neighbour’s ear – Police

A 30-year-old student, Tobi Justice, who allegedly assaulted his father’s tenant by biting off his left ear, was on Thursday in Lagos released on a N50,000 bail.   The Chief Magistrate, Alexander Komolafe, who gave the ruling, also told the accused to present two sureties in like sum.   The accused, a student of the University of Abuja, had pleaded not guilty to the three-count charge bordering on assault occasioning grievous harm and breach of peace brought against him at an Ikeja Magistrates’...

Osun State Government identifies 458 unregistered schools

The Osun Government on Thursday gave two weeks ultimatum to owners of unregistered schools in the state to register them with the state Ministry of Education or stand the risk of closure.   The warning is contained in a statement signed by Festus Olajide, Permanent Secretary, Ministry of Education, Science and Technology which was made available to the News Agency of Nigeria, NAN, in Oshogbo.   The ministry said that it discovered that 458 schools in 11 local government areas of the state...

Nigerian lawmakers propose bill to jail Ministers, others who defy them.

A bill that could see officials of the executive arm of government thrown into prison if they fail to honour a summon by the legislature has passed second reading in the House of Representatives.   The bill also recommended an alternative fine of up to N1 million for any official found guilty of contempt of the National Assembly.   The sponsor of the bill, Sunday Karim, said during plenary on Thursday that lawmakers were frustrated by frequent refusal of members of the executive...