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Gross Perks Of Office and This Pecking Demand: A Rejoinder to Mr. Ita Enang by Adebayo Coker.

Courtesy: Grammarly

Courtesy Grammarly

I was in Shakiti Bobo mode when I read the news coming out from the National Assembly where a one-time Senator Ita Enang pushed that Senators, members of the House of Representatives and members of other legislative Houses in the country who are lawyers should be conferred with the prestigious rank of Senior Advocate of Nigeria.

Let me sing a song…

Eyin Omo NBA

Mo gbo information

Ninu paper

Talo fe S S SAN?

Talo fe S S SAN?

 

I met with an out-of-job friend of mine few weeks ago. He told me how efficacious prayer is.

“Few minutes to Pavitra Rishta (a soap), the light went off and I prayed to God that I wouldn’t want to miss the day’s episode. Alas! Two minutes to time, power was restored. When I saw that He answered that prayer so fast, I then prayed that God should give me massive wealth within the next few days”. I joined him in saying Amen but my friend is still squatting with his younger brother as I write.

That the Lord answers prayers doesn’t give us the express right of entitlement. We must work towards achieving our dreams.

It is no news that Nigeria Lawmakers are the most priced in the world. That they are the laziest should not be confounding to anyone. Also, that they are mostly bands of fraudsters, wife beaters, rascals, prostitutes, ‘druggists’, in short, the legislative Chamber could best be described as a ‘Cesspool of Misfits’. That they have refused to make any sacrifice in terms of their salaries and expenses like the Executive arm is no news; I am sure some of them will be saying in their minds: I am not Jesus. But what I found to be grossly irresponsible and highly unreasonable is the demand for express conferment of SANship on anyone of them who HAS a law degree on the premise that they are lawmakers and better deserving that any other lawyer that only interprets the law.

Imagine this demand being acceded to, the crooks that have not obtained a law degree amongst these lawmakers will suddenly parade a PhD in law in no time, then we will have Senator Honourable Dr Alhaji Chief Pastor Oluwo Patoranking Sexy Steel. BA, M. Sc, MBA, LLB, BL, LLM, PhD, JP,SAN. Iyen ti poju ke!

Let’s examine just a few of our would-be Senior Advocates briefly.

I follow one of our would be Senior Advocates on his twitter handle. He is a sound Senator; always engaging the yoots . Some bad belle said the Senator needs to learn Public Conduct. I must confess that I stood in defence of ‘this stinking’ or is it distinguished Senator. He is a fashion model on Fridays, modeling his latest wardrobes on tweeter; on Saturdays he tweets his club-mode, sometimes on a yacht (not his!) in company of another wonder-ful fugitive Senator. At times he displays his outlandish sleekness in automobiles and drinks. And on Sundays, the Honourable Senator is a Pope. He prays for all Nigerians. I asked why an engagingly young man that understands the eX-Generation very well needs to be checked into Public Conduct program. My dear he is a role model to a great number of yoots ever since he stopped beating his wife (or is he just planning to stop?). I pray you follow him and understand better.

There is a mulatto entertainer who always advocates the use of electric cars like that is the only thing his constituency sent him to the Red Chamber to achieve. But he has failed to table his people’s request so far because of his lateness to sessions most times. Still he is a role model to his teeming followers. Maybe they see a possibility of free movies and sorts in him though he hasn’t announced it yet.

Imagine a Senior Advocate that hides in his toilet to evade justice! Let’s even paint it further. A SAN-Senator on a trip with GMB to World Leaders Summit, in the USA for example, being harangued to stay back to clarify some issues on orange is the new black?

Mr Festus Keyamo has been denied entrance into the SANship Hall Of Fame how many times now? Falana was admitted when he started greying , but these layabouts and gadabouts want a triumphal ride? I’d rather not say what is coming to my mind.

My fellow Nigerians, we will continue to hear and finance more nonsense through our taxes if we fail to realize that we need to prune the National Assembly in size and in price. By size I mean we have hardly benefited anything operating a bi-cameral legislature; the House of Reps is a better reflection of our grassroots representation at the centre. We need to make the monuments of the lawmakers reflective of our current reality, willy-nilly to them. I cannot pay so much and get so little.

The noise we made about #OpenNass has brought some results but the yields will be too little if we relent and do not ask them to open up the more possibly by executing a Service Level Agreement with our representatives. If we fail, these people will continue to injure us; they will add salt to the wounds and expect us to continue hailing them. They will see it as their birthright. They will get their gross allowances and will start pecking on our moral fabrics with their corrupted beaks.

In conclusion, Senator-Honorable gentleman Ita Enang, I believe your lawyer mind ought to tell you that earning SANship isn’t a day’s work. Don’t be like my praying friend above. Get to work!

About the author

Adebayo Coker

Adebayo Coker is a wordsmith. Societal Fragments, A Man Like Me: Noteography Of A Father To His Son and Wobbled Words are his published works. debayocoker@gmail.com , @adebay_c