I read Susan’s story yesterday and it motivated me to share mine.
I will not hide my real name because I have been praying to God for my long kept secret to be exposed. I can’t live with it anymore and at the same time, I can’t use my mouth to say it because I am disgusted at myself.
My name is Shalewa and unlike Susan, my husband is not the “best” like she implied about hers. He is equally not a bad person. On a scale of 10, he is 6. My husband is what other would refer to the average good man. He has never laid his hands on me, he caters for me and the kids by doing all he can to make us comfortable but he is not the affection showing type of man.
He surprises me once in a while and tries to make me feel loved but somehow I feel it is not enough, because he devotes most of his time to his work. There were times he’ll be away for 4 months and that means no affection or physical interaction with him.
I am not trying to justify the things I have done, but I am just trying to make readers reason with me.
While we were still courting, I slept several times with my elder brother’s friend who came visiting. He lived in our house for 2 weeks and somehow we were attracted to each other and we kept sleeping with each other while everyone else had gone to work. I just finished my NYSC and was still unemployed, while my brother’s friend just returned from the UK after finishing his masters.
I can remember vividly that I slept with my husband then only once on a Saturday evening, while I slept with my brother’s friend almost everyday, within those 2 weeks he stayed with us.
When I became pregnant, my husband automatically assumed he was responsible and felt we should get married. I couldn’t summon the courage to tell him that the child might not be his, but at the same time I knew my elder brother’s friend wasn’t committed to me, because he had a girlfriend and what we had were mere series of casual sex.
Two years into our wedding and the delivery of our first child, my husband traveled and his friend, our family friend rather, came to visit me after he closed from work and we got engrossed in an argument that exhausted the entire evening. I still can’t explain how it happened but we ended up having sex on the sitting room rug. This happened the same week my husband traveled. My husband returned after 5 weeks and eventually, we discovered that I was pregnant.
The most annoying part of this whole thing is that I have maintained the life of a faithful wife, till the unfortunate and shameless act of infidelity I put up with our family friend.
I really want him to know because I feel like a heartless devil now, but believe me when I say that I do not have the courage to tell him that the first 2, out of our 3 kids might not be his. Even if courage can be purchased in the market, mine will be very expensive and I would not be able to afford it.
I also wouldn’t want our friends and family to know, because I want this to be settled between us. So I brought my cross to be shared on this platform and I pray they publish it. Who knows? Someone out there who doesn’t know me in person could help me find answers.
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