“He Caught me on our Matrimonial Bed…”

My name is Susan (real name disclosed) and I have been living in utter misery because my sins have caught up with me and the guilt alone is killing me.

It would have been better if it was my guilt alone, but my husband has refused to utter a word after he caught me with my ex 3 weeks ago on our matrimonial bed.

We have been married for over 3 years now, getting to 4 and he has been an amazing man to me, despite the fact that I have not been able to conceive for him yet. He has been patient and his family in return encourages us to be strong as they join us in prayer, as we wait for God’s timing. Most times I feel I do not deserve a man like him but tell me, which woman on earth will refuse a good man? The answer is NONE!!!

I started sneaking out with my ex a year after our marriage because my husband’s business takes him away from home very often. Prior to our wedding, my ex and I have dated for like 2 years but he suddenly asked me to move on because he was leaving for a training abroad and will not be able to commit to distance relationship. I was heartbroken because he promised to marry me but eventually left me like the others did.

I found myself living in a teary world and begging God to ease the pain. Barely 4 months after the break up I met my husband who helped me get over the hurt and he loved me like I’v never been loved before. He eventually proposed and we got married.

A year after our wedding, my ex came back from his training and we became friends because my husband had helped me erase all the bitterness I felt towards him. My husband was not comfortable with the friendship and warned me not to become very close to him.

However, my ex invited me to a private party while my husband was on a business trip. The boredom was unbearable, so I went. Spending the night with him in the party brought back memories and he eventually convinced me to sleep in  a room within the house because it was very late and we were both tipsy, so he could not risk driving me home or let me drive. To cut the story short, he came to the room I was and cuddled me and we began sleeping with each other from that day.

I knew what I was doing was wrong but I could not control it, talk less of stopping it. It got to the point where my ex would secretly sneak into my matrimonial home and I eventually started asking the security guard to leave anytime my husband was out of town.

Unfortunately, my husband walked in on us while my ex was on top of me. I still don’t know why he came back home that night because he left home that morning on another business trip. Maybe the trip was cancelled or something happened, which I still haven’t been able to figure out because he has refused to utter a word to me. He still eats my food and still wakes me for morning prayer but he hasn’t said anything regarding the incident in 3 weeks.

Just like he walked away when he caught us, he does same when I approach him for a conversation.

Please someone tell me what to do because this feeling is tearing me apart. The shame and filth I feel is heavy even though I have asked God to forgive me, but God knows that his silence is what I cannot live with. Please I need helpful suggestions on what to do because I love my husband and my home.


Send your life experiences to

About the author

Didi Adams

Writer, Brand Strategist, Media Professional and Deep Thinker.

  • charlie

    Just sit down there and keep praying for for sins u vile woman,till ur husband is ready to make a decision,cause I guess that is what he is still looking for.

  • Good Kid

    I think this piece would have been better titled “Travails of a vile woman”

  • ijeoma

    Its babes like u that make men dub us women evil. Anyway, u can’t cry over spilled milk. Look 4 a very close relation or better still your Pastor 2 talk 2 him and I pray he listens :-(. A relation of mine that tried this s**t with her husband was killed by him. Must marriages always be about SEX only? When u love someone truly, u only long for the person’s body and other people irritate u. I pray things work out between u and your huband.

  • Paulo

    If I were you I will leave that house. It’s the shock that is making him not to talk. He’s going to kill you soon. Just pack out because you do not deserve him.

  • deji

    You are a liar. You don’t love your husband and you don’t love your home. Just leave the good man and go back to your crazy ex who will soon leave u again for another training. You are a disgrace to womanhood.


    By Angela Okpe
    300 Level Student of Unimaid
    The issue of corruption in Nigeria has been a growing phenomenon, spreading like cancer and now getting to a point of becoming a monster. Through we have been experiencing a flimsy of it from the existence of the Nigerian state when we got independence from the British, and started ruling ourselves as a republic in 1960. Then our first set of rulers who emerged post- independence began to show traces of corruption as we later discovered when their regime was overthrown by the military in 1966, and evidence emerged that those set of rulers had amassed illegal wealth at the expense of the people.
    However, what we saw in the first republic amongst the ruling class was a child’s play compared to what we later experienced during the second Republic from 1979 to 1983 when those set of rulers were later overthrown by another military regime as a result of excessive corruption in the public service. Caution was thrown overboard by the ruling class as well as those in public offices as civil servants. Corruption got to a head and the commonwealth of the people were grossly embezzled and mismanaged by politicians who held public offices.
    The military regimes that came on board were no saints as well as level of corruption during their reign took a more alarming dimension. Infact, arguably the military regimes that ruled Nigeria between 1985 to 1998 instituted high level corruption in the polity and since then things have never remain the same. Those military regimes brazenly embezzled large chunk of Nigeria’s money and amazed unprecedented wealth meant for the development of the country.
    Taking a cue from these military regimes, the subsequent civilian regimes that emerged from 1999 till present have taken corruption to a higher level which was well aided by the presidential system of government that we are running. Hyper level corruption has since been entrenched in all arms of government – executive, legislature and the judiciary.
    Things had extremely gone out hands to the extent that the middle class have been wiped off, leaving only the super rich and the down-trodden poor.
    The reason why corruption persists in Nigeria is not far-fetched. Little is being done to punish offenders of corruption at both public and private sectors. The leadership have only been paying lip service in seriously addressing the issue of corruption. They have been extremely compromised and the resultant effect is taking a toll on the development of the nation, as well as the future of our youths.
    Due to high corruption, money meant for infrastructural development are being grossly embezzled. Money meant for education of our youths are being carted away through corruption, money meant for industrialization of the nation is being stolen brazenly through corruption. The implication of all these as we are beginning to witness is absolute chaos in the polity. The mass of uneducated youths and the unemployable youths are beginning to constitute nuisance and taking to robbery, kidnapping, ritual killings, internet fraud, and even outright militarization. The centre can no longer hold in Nigeria due to high level corruption which can no longer be curbed.
    The religious leaders could not also come to the rescue as they are not left out in the orgy of corruption. Our various religious houses are always preaching prosperity rather than admonish the people to embrace decent life. Outright corruption also exist and persist in our various religious organizations, as most religious leaders are no longer setting good examples, and are not being models for their followers.

    Angel Okpe is a 300level of Unimaid