When Ridiculous Letter Meets Horrendous Reply By Lanre Shadiya

I knew it. I knew Baba’s letter was going to be replied. Others could have been ignored but this one…this very one, cannot go without a reply.

How dare Baba write such a letter to Dr. Goodluck  Ebele Azikiwe Jonathan, President, Commander-In-Chief of the Armed Forces, Federal Republic of Nigeria? It is very unfortunate that OBJ will write the President and the letter will be delivered by hand. Abomination! “Aifini peni, aifeyan peyan, to mo ara oko san bante wolu” One would have expected Baba to know better having spent close to a dozen years at the helms of power. Nobody. I mean absolutely nobody could have written Baba such a letter while he was President and will not get his “reply” within minutes of the letter going public. But then we still need to thank him for making our President do something when we expect him to. For the first time, GEJ did what people expected him to do. Blessing comes in disguise. GEJ’s “reluctance” must be praised as it eventually paved the way for Baba’s letter, “a threat to national security”, to be replied. Brethren, I will advise that as Nigerians, we need to pray for this same reluctance to be invoked by Boko Haram.

Talking of Boko Haram, I am sure that the terrorist group must be in pandemonium now. The leadership and sponsors of the notorious group will be at a loss as to which country they have been having field days of wanton destruction of lives and properties. According to the husband of Faka, it is not Nigeria. This then pose a question; why did GEJ publicly request for America’s support in fighting terrorism during his last meeting with Obama? GEJ confirmed that as the deputy Governor during the infamous Odi massacre under Obasanjo’s regime, he saw how Baba “leveled” the whole town. For the records, an estimated 2,500 people were killed. According to my ever trusted Oxford Advanced Learner English dictionary, the murder of a race or group of people is called genocide. Even Adolfo Scilingo, the Argentine Naval officer convicted of genocide in 2005 (for killing 30 people) was sentenced to 640 years imprisonment – 21 years for each life taken, plus jara. If Baba was tried in the court of law and sentenced to jail  even as little as a month for each life taken, he would have been due for release in 2207, and by then, should he still be alive, I am sure he wouldn’t be thinking about an 18-page letter. Since our Doctorate President has decided to keep mum over it for the love of power, let him forever hold his peace. Unfortunately, even those who lost loved ones in the massacre are also blindly supporting a government that cannot be said to have added any value to their lives in whatever way one looks at it.

Give it to OBJ, he made sure that Nuhu Ribadu went after ALL corrupt politicians and public officer holders. Except those loyal to him. He made sure anyone caught in the act paid for it – Tafa Balogun, Fabian Osuji, Hussaini Akwanga, Diepreye Alamieyeseigha and Alice Mobolaji Osomo to mention a few. Baba, does this bestow the title of St. Obasanjo on you? No! I have not been to OBJ’s presidential library but those that have been there have said the edifice was definitely not built from the revenues from the poultry farm and the remuneration of the first office alone. And as the incumbent rightly said, the Halliburton bribery skeleton has refused to leave your portmanteau. I leave that to those who know the truth. Baba, there are claims by some silly boys that even your chickens and turkeys could testify to the largess from the national cake since you left office. I know these are rumours but then, in every rumour……. Coming back to D-Doc. I am trying to remember the minister or official that has been made to pay for corruption since 2011. I googled it and unlike the kind of result I got for OBJ, yours returned nothing. Actually, it did come up with the sacking of Farida Waziri. I am left to then conclude that APC must be running google. It is in your government that the Minister of Aviation’s job is so dangerous and her life at such a risk that she bought not one, but two armoured cars at a cost that will buy five of Barack Obama’s official limousine – the Beast, which by the way, is adjudged to be the most secured car in the world. I assume she will soon be posted to Borno to confront Boko Haram in the cars? Try and step inside the MMIA (not the Presidential wing) for once and see the apology that we call an international airport. International indeed. With torches used during power outages? Bad toilets and dysfunctional air-conditioners? I can bet you that if you challenge young Nigerian artisans, it will cost less than 10% of that N255m to get some of these things working. Baba, if a man who acknowledged Murtala Mohammed as a true Nigerian leader could leave the airport named after him in such a ruin, then, I am sorry for you because everything and everywhere named after you might soon be turned into shalangas. It is in this same administration that crude oil returns was lost, found and later found to be partially lost. The Central Bank governor has lost touch with simple addition and subtraction exercise and the minister of Finance has said that we are only looking for a needle called $10.8billion. I think we deserve better from Harvard. $10.8b missing and the President is still comfortable having the Finance Minister, Petroleum Minister and the CBN governor around him? Ori mi o! Baba Iyabo kare lai. And what was that about the “wheels of justice grinding slowly in our country”? And we still have someone called the Chief Justice of the Federation? Is he on permanent vacation? If not, your lordship, this is an indictment on your office.

I must confess that you both have got me and some other Nigerians confused on this snipers training thing. While we are tempted to believe that Baba would have very reliable informants, we are equally not lost on the personality of Mr. President – calm, easy going and docile; it is debatable if he could hurt a fly. I cannot be sure of what to conclude on this accusation especially if one remembers the story of the biblical Isaac, Rebecca, Esau and Jacob. Mr. President, why have you sorrounded yourself with people who are not telling you the truth? Even Tambuwal cannot call a spade a spade; Shiorrr! Mr President Sir, this government reeks of corruption! Body language ko, body nylon ni.

Mr President, PDP is the acronym of your party. I have chosen not to write the full meaning in this article because it is mockery and an insult on the Nigerian people. What happens there is a party problem, but sir, in case you do not know, 37 lawmakers have joined APC to secure their next term. 37 confused fleas. And I heard more will still follow. By simple Mathematics, PDP is now the minority in the House of Representatives. Thou art mighty, O LORD! If this evident division is still being interpreted as the PDP “growing strong”, then I join hands with the approximately 180 million Nigerians (minus the few irresponsible ones) to declare that the PDP will continue to “grow stronger”

I am surprised that anyone living in Nigeria will lay claim on the development of the education sector. Since when as quantity mean quality? More universities does not translate to better education. Having ten universities of consistent and high standard is worth far more than a hundred universities with epileptic study sessions. Your Excellency sir, I am not sure you know that Nigerian youths are going to Universities in Benin Republic, Ghana and Togo to study. I am not talking about the multitudes that are in Europe, Asia, Americas and other parts of Africa. Having more universities is not and will not be the solution. We humbly request that you subscribe to “family planning” of future universities. Numbers isn’t what we need.

Baba, I almost died of laughter when I read your comment on Mr. President’s second term ambition. Sir, it is worse than pot calling kettle black. Have you forgotten third term runs and that infamous constitutional review? Ah! you fell my hand. You are not qualified to comment on such. Sir, he who comes to equity must come with clean hands. And why must you involve us in the troubles of your own handiwork sef? Is it our fault that your protégé has gone out of hand? My Presido, your reponse to the second term comment was precise, forceful and smart. I concur with you that such declaration will distract the government although I still ask myself from what. In case you don’t know, constitutionally, you have every right as a Nigerian citizen to contest for re-election in 2015. Let them shout their heads off iro ni won npa. But Sir, just to tell you that with the current performance, we are happy to allow you return to Otueke to relax after the expiration of this term and convinced that you will do as we wish, the same way you lived up to our expectation to reply Baba. This is a morality issue so let us pack constitutional issues to one side. This is even more important since most political office holders in Nigeria have been said to do better in their first term. if this is true, I don’t want to think about what your second term will be like.

With the numerous challenges that the average Nigerian goes through daily, I believe we deserve better than public letters written by people with little at stake and signed by you both. We call you elder statesmen and we expect that you will act as the two (elders: wise old men and statesmen: patriots with the love of the people). Although those of us that cannot afford the regular comedy nights have found pleasure in this season of letters, they are truly an embarrassment to the nation. If any part of this write up seems to disrespect you, your office, kinsmen, clan, household, friend, party or supporters, kindly find a place in your hearts to forgive me, at least Oga Alams and Stella Oduah were forgiven.

Lanre Shadiya


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In the beginning...Let there be Light

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