OPINION: The ‘Clueless’ Shoe No Longer Fits His Excellency – by Folorunso David @funsodavid

Published:2 Feb, 2013

President-JonathanI take no pleasure in insulting Mr Goodluck Jonathan. The story of his ascent to the presidency when isolated from his performance so far in that office is one that has the semblance of Old Testament rhapsody (reserve your Hallelujah for later). Some people extend that analogy further to suggest that he is God’s anointed one – with an eponym and a grass-to-grace story that overwhelmingly match, most Nigerians were coaxed into voting him in 2011 without actually parsing the facts. Two questions: First, how do you isolate a man’s deeds from his personality at the polls? Second, does God really hate us that much as to anoint and then impose (?) a clueless – I shall come to that shortly – leader on us? These questions, however relevant, have the sour taste of the proverbial spilt milk. For now, I am saddled with a contemporary bother, one that hinges on semantics but is at the same time frightening.

I pride myself in an etymological pastime so early this year I tried to find out how Mr Goodluck Jonathan’s critics collectively decided to adopt the word ‘clueless’ as his most unflattering moniker.  I wanted to know who first used the adjective, who next used it and how it caught on with other Nigerians. My research is on-going but besides my collection of newspaper clippings, bookmarked internet pages and random discourse with self-styled pundits it is no more than a pastime. However, in pursuing this harmless and purely academic endeavour I realised we have been wrong all along. We have been fooled to disguise our president’s true nature with a mild description that doesn’t even scratch the surface.

A relevant digression:  As an undergraduate pharmacy student I had a lecturer who always held her shoulders high – both figuratively and literally. She never really stood out in my regard or disregard until I noticed a pattern with her. Whenever one of my classmates made a ‘mistake’ of asking a relevant question which she was unsure of; instead of politely admitting that she did not know the answer and promise to get back to him or her later (we’re all humans, aren’t we?) she would go into overdrive, filibuster about the effrontery of the student to have asked the question, lambast his or her sartorial taste and when she’d spoken at length without any reference to the hanging question she would move on with the lecture. Covering her ignorance with her arrogance was her default way to overcome the distress of her cluelessness. Except for the ‘her’ that last statement may as well be referring to a certain Goodluck Jonathan. After all, if the shoe fits he might as well wear it. But my assertion is borne out of mundane reasons.

First, there is the issue of the Police College in Lagos. Without the unbiased reportage of Channels Television the college and its decadence would not have got the deserving attention it did in national media. How does Mr President react to all this? First and very much to his credit, he visited the college in the wake of the report. Second, but disgustingly out of sync with the first, he implicitly blames Channels Television and the party officials of opposition parties for the calamities that have befallen that citadel of police-training. My reaction was a thought-out-loud bollocks. Pardon my French. I simply could not put one and two together. Could our president be the king of dimwits? More pertinent to this write-up, this episode illustrates lack of clues but more so trademark arrogance that belies the barefoot-to-Versace story which we all ate during his presidential campaign.

Second, there is the issue of University of Lagos. Renaming a Federal University that was founded by the provisions of the Nigerian constitution to something you thought of after having your morning cereal is a storyline best suited for an episode of Tinsels. Still it happened that on a day most ironically set apart to mark the end of military-style autocracy and unilateralism Mr Goodluck Jonathan announced a change of a university’s name without following due process. For days students of the university protested around the Yaba suburbs of Lagos and we thought His Excellency the Name-Changer would realise the folly of his action. No he hasn’t. Rather he has apparently denied the institution the right to host its annual convocation ceremony until the name change is implemented. You still call him clueless? All I see is arrogance.

Fellow Nigerians, while it does not detract from his overall cluelessness, we are dealing with the most arrogant president in the history of Nigeria – arguably, of course. Again, I do not take pleasure in insulting our president but it would be tomfoolery to analyse his overall personality and not point out his flaws. Cluelessness I can deal with relatively (again, we’re all humans, aren’t we?); it’s the arrogance that is eating me up. An arrogant president would not have the modesty to ask his critics to proffer solutions in times of national crisis; would not listen to the voice of better reasoning because the speaker is from another political party; would not see fellow Nigerians as equal; would not heed the warnings of time-tested experts seriously. An arrogant leader would only do one thing: lead others blindly in a headlong rush to failure. (As an aside, I did ace the course that arrogant university lecturer took me thanks to textbooks). It may count as insulting to classify Mr Goodluck Jonathan as arrogant but the truth needs to be said: Better a purely clueless president than one who alloys it up with arrogance. You may now shout Hallelujah.

 

Folorunso David can be reached on twitter @funsodavid

Related Posts

Recent Posts

Desiigner Is Being Sued For $500k Over Allegedly Crashing A Rented Ferrari

Desiigner’ pockets are about to be a little lighter, because he’s being sued for damaging a rented Ferrari back in June. Two of his friends, who have also been named in the lawsuit, allegedly gave the rapper permission to drive the car, however, he crashed it and now the rental company is suing for $500,000! The 2014 Ferrari is valued at $220k, but they want $500k, because they claim that they’re losing out on as much as $1,599 per day...

Nigeria authority orders Arik Air to pay compensation to passengers

The Nigerian Civil Aviation Authority (NCAA) on Wednesday directed Arik Air to return all delayed baggage of its passengers from London to Lagos within the next 24 hours. The authority also directed the airline to compensate the affected passengers with $150 each for their troubles. The News Agency of Nigeria, NAN, reports that the directive was issued by Adamu Abdullahi, Director, Consumer Complaints Department, NCAA. Arik Air and no fewer than 40 passengers have been at loggerheads over the non-arrival of their...

Senate to pass Petroleum Industry Bill in tranches – Saraki

The President of the Senate, Bukola Saraki, says Senate will pass the Petroleum Industry Governance Bill, PIGB, in tranches as a way out of its non-passage for the past eight years. Mr. Saraki made this known at a three-day Public Hearing on the PIGB organised by the Senate joint Committee on the bill on Wednesday in Abuja. He said the passage of the bill in tranches was necessitated by the need to unbundle its contents into manageable compartments that could be...

1,048 people killed in 11 months in tanker, trailer crashes across Nigeria

At least 1,048 people were killed in 770 road crashes involving 4,365 tankers and trailers from January to November 2016, an official has said. Boboye Oyeyemi, the Corps Marshal of the Federal Road Safety Commission, FRSC, stated this on Wednesday in Abuja at an interactive session with stakeholders in the road transport sector. Mr. Oyeyemi said 4,365 people were also injured during the period of review. According to him, crashes involving tankers and trailers had been on the decrease since 2014 as...

Access Bank warns Customers – ‘Beware of MMM, you will Soon Lose all Your Money’

Access Bank Nigeria Plc has warned its customers to avoid dealing with Mavrodi Mondial Movement, a Ponzi scheme, which has been declared illegal by the Central Bank of Nigeria and the Securities and Exchange Commission. The bank in an emailed statement to its customers said it had come to its attention “that some customers are engaged in the Ponzi scheme called ‘MMM’”. “Please be advised that this scheme is not in line with any applicable or known investment product and...

$15.5 million Fraud: Court adjourns Patience Jonathan’s suit to 2017

Justice Mohammed Idris of a Federal High Court Lagos, on Wednesday, further adjourned till January 18, 2017, hearing in a suit by ex-first lady, Patience Jonathan, seeking enforcement of her fundamental rights. Mrs. Jonathan had instituted the fundamental rights suit against the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission, EFCC, claiming the sum of $200 million as damages for inconveniences suffered. In her suit, she also joined Skye bank Plc, and a former aide to ex-president Goodluck Jonathan, Warampo Dudafa, as respondents. Also joined...

Please, I don’t Accept Gifts – Aisha Buhari Tells Nigerians

Wife of the President, Aisha Buhari, has said that she has not received any gift from anyone since becoming the President’s wife. Mrs. Buhari, who spoke at the unveiling of a new campaign against graft tagged, “Women Against Corruption” in Abuja, today, said that she did not also intend to collect gifts as the wife of the president even in the future. “People have been trying to bring some gift items to me but I have not been collecting them....

Defamation: Court strikes out Buhari’s suit against AIT

The Federal High Court on Wednesday in Abuja struck out defamation suit filed by President Muhammadu Buhari against DAAR Communications, operators of the African Independent Television, AIT. Justice John Tsoho held that the court was compelled to strike out the suit because it appeared abandoned. According to him, no representations from the parties have been entered since the matter was assigned to the court. “This is against the rules of court, all opportunities given for the plaintiff and the respondents to put...

JUST IN: Doris Leuthard elected Swiss president

Centre-right politician, Doris Leuthard, will serve as Swiss president next year, the parliament decided on Wednesday in Bern.   Report says the leadership post goes to a different cabinet minister every year.   Leuthard, a Christian Democratic People’s Party member, has served as minister for environment, transport, energy and communication.   A former proponent of nuclear power, Leuthard has become the architect of Switzerland’s plan to gradually shut down its reactors.   Referendum voters in November supported her view that a rapid phase-out would do more harm...

Unwanted pregnancy mainly caused by wrong use of contraceptives – Health Minister

The major cause of unwanted pregnancy is improper use of contraceptives, Nigeria’s health minister has said. Isaac Adewole, disclosed this while speaking with the News Agency of Nigeria, NAN, on Wednesday in Abuja. Mr. Adewole,  a professor of  gynaecology, reacted to complaints over the high rate of unwanted pregnancies allegedly caused by contraceptives failure. He described contraceptives as methods, devices or drugs that could prevent conception. “Contraceptive-failure, if you use it well, rarely fails. Very rarely will an unwanted pregnancy come from contraceptive-failure;...

LASU approves 50 per cent rebate on fees payable for staff undergoing study

The Governing Council, Lagos State University, LASU, Ojo, has approved 50 per cent rebate on all fees payable for its staff undergoing courses in the institution. ?According to the university’s official bulletin, the council took the decision at its meeting held on November 15 where the requests by some members of staff for an encompassing education rebate were considered. ?The council said that other sundry fees such as acceptance fee, medical fee, Identity Card, among others were included in the fees...

NCAA gives Arik Air 24-hour ultimatum over delayed Baggage

The Nigerian Civil Aviation Authority on Wednesday directed Arik Air to return all delayed baggage of its passengers from London to Lagos within the next 24 hours. The directive was issued by the Director, Consumer Complaints Department, NCAA, Mr. Adamu Abdullahi, who also directed the airline to compensate the affected passengers with $150 each for their troubles. Arik Air and no fewer than 40 passengers have been at loggerheads over the non-arrival of their baggage, five days after their flight...

Python dance: Obiano Backs Army, disowns IPOB, MASSOB

The Anambra State Governor, Chief Willy Obiano, on Tuesday evening commended the operation Python Dance inaugurated by the Nigerian military in the south-east geo-political zone. He said those condemning the exercise had no reason to do so. The  Indigenous People of Biafra, Movement for the Actualisation of Sovereign State of Biafra and some rights groups in the zone had condemned the military over Python dance. They argued that it would inflict hardship on the people. Obiano while receiving the Chief of Army...

Japan’s Sex Problem Is So Bad That People Are Quitting Dating & Marrying

The Japanese sex problem has become so desperate that its young population are giving up on dating and are just marrying their friends. A Government survey found 69 per cent of Japanese men and 59 per cent of Japanese women do not have a romantic partner. One Japanese aggregator website has since been awash with stories of how people have simply got married to life-long friends. The country has one of the lowest birth rates in the world, with just...

Patience Jonathan writes to House of Reps Over EFCC harassment

Former First Lady, Patience Jonathan has written a petition to the House of Representatives urging it to stop the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) from further “harassment”. The petition was read to the house on Wednesday by Lovette Idisi, a legislator from Delta state. “This petition is in line with section 36 where every citizen is presumed innocent until proven guilty,” Idisi said “Mr. Speaker, here is a petition on the constant harassment of the former first lady. It was...

Brad Pitt Takes Angelina Jolie Back to Court

Brad Pitt is going to court to keep his custody war with Angelina Jolie private, and sources connected with Brad say his motivation is to thwart her from further damaging their children by airing their dirty laundry in public. Sources connected to the case tell TMZ ... Brad filed docs Tuesday in family court, requesting an emergency hearing. We're told he intends to ask the judge to seal all documents and proceedings related to his and Angelina's ongoing battle...

Why FG’s Ban on Land Border-Importation of Vehicles Makes NO Sense – Adeeko Ademola

BusinessDay search shows that before the implementation of the new auto policy, which raised duty paid on imported vehicles from 20 to 70 percent to encourage the upcoming assembling plants in the country, about 30,000 new cars and trucks used to arrive Nigeria every month across all the Roll-on Roll-off (RORO) terminals, but the volume has now dropped to about 10,000 monthly.    Most times, I can't help but chuckle at the sheer incompetence and shallow reasoning...

Nigeria Reps to separate AGF’s office from Minister of Justice

The House of Representatives on Tuesday, moved to separate the office of Attorney-General of the Federal (AGF) from that of Minister of Justice. The move followed the second reading of a Bill for an Act to alter the 1999 Constitution to introduce the Office of the Attorney-General of the Federation separate from the Minister of Justice. Presenting the Bill, Rep Mohammed Monguno (APC-Borno), said that if passed, it would emphasise the independence of the AGF’s office and ensure it was...

Photo: Gov. El-Rufai in Ghana as An Election Observer

Kaduna state governor, Nasir El-Rufai is currently in Ghana to observe the country’s presidential election. The governor declared the Islamic group Shiites ‘insurgents’ on Monday, a move that has been greeted by criticisms from Nigerians home and abroad. Many advised the governor to tread with caution to avoid a Boko Haram-like experience. However, despite the home challenges, the war of words with Senator Shehu Sani inclusive, Governor El-Rufai has flown to Ghana to observe...

We Will Pay Super Falcons, But We Don’t Have Cash Now – NFF

The Nigeria Football Federation (NFF) have promised to pay the victorious Super Falcons, but that will be when they have the cash to pay them. NFF general secretary Mohammed Sanusi, who met with the players and officials of the African champions at the Agura Hotel on Tuesday, said the federation are not happy owing players and coaches, but present severe economic challenges inform that it can only continue to seek the understanding of these persons, as well as hoteliers,...

How Your Sign Affects Your Sex Life

If you're an Aries, you're all about the quickie. Hey, girl, don't blush, we've all been there: that desperate urge to get down and dirty but with little to no time. You're just into the thrill of a speedy sex sesh more than others. As the first sign of the Zodiac, you like things "strong and hot and heavy," Tower says. So don't deny that raring ready-to-go feeling. Instead jump on it...literally, since a woman-on-top position that ensures...