MARRY HER: The Wife A Good Man Needs – by @IkeAmadi

Published:10 Feb, 2013

GW“If she is not helping you by encouraging you but keeps telling you how ‘this man is better than you’ and how ‘that guy is smarter than you’, you better leave her! She is not kind.”

 

A man — a good man — which I believe you are, naturally works hard and thinks up ways to better himself and his family. Hence, he will need a kind woman.

But what can be a measure of kindness. How can you know that a lady is kind?

I decided to do a little research on the word, kindness. I discovered that Kindness is from the Greek word, chrestotes, i.e., not wanting to hurt anyone or cause them pain.

What are ways that a woman can cause you pain? One of the ways is through insisting to have carnal knowledge of you! She can hope to achieve this through manipulation, like the case of Portiphar’s wife, or through emotional torture, as seen in the life to Samson that you give in before ‘she wearies you to death.’ Well, you don’t have to let her weary you to death.  This obviously applies to both men and women. If he is insisting on having it now, even when you are not married through coercion of words smoother than butter and softer than oil, leave him! He will rob you of your innocence and cause you emotional pain in the future.

A friend argued that a Christian lady should have no business making demands on roles which you should not be playing now. I agree; which is one of the pointers to check if she indeed is genuinely repented.

A man might want to say, “But if she wants it now, it is for my own good, as I get to enjoy it now and in the future.” Not true my friend.

Judi Ballweber once asserted, “If she is kind, you’ll have a great sex life.”

“How?” we all wondered. “A girl who is willing to have sex before marriage is selfish! She is not willing to wait. She wants to satisfy her desires ahead of time. After marriage, it works against her and you. When you want to have sex she will not be willing, as her desires have already been satisfied. But a kind wife will satisfy you,” she concluded. This is certainly because she understands, as Myles Munroe argued,that “the first need of a man is sex.” A kind wife — Wife, not girlfriend, lover or date — would not want to deny you that.

Little wonder Paul said, “Love is kind.” Don’t seek a selfish woman who wants to, through manipulation, which is akin to witchcraft, have you sleep with her before marriage. In other words, don’t marry a witch!

Kindness happens to be a fruit of the Spirit. A woman can only be truly kind when she is filled with the spirit of God. I want to be filled with the Spirit of God, afresh!

There exist other pointers of kindness in a lady. A kind woman would not talk to you in a derogatory manner. She very well understands that her words matter, and that a man is in constant need of accreditation, more so, from the woman he calls his love. Even when you are not measuring up in certain areas of life like leading an organized lifestyle or not yet generating enough material warmth, she talks to you kindly, urging you on in the battle of life.

If she is not helping you by encouraging you but keeps telling you how ‘this man is better than you’ and how ‘that guy is smarter than you’, you better leave her! She is not kind.

Kindness, for you, could be perceived through other means. When I asked a young lady how she shows kindness to her man, which she reconstructed as, ‘my baby’, she answered that, “I treat him with kindness based on his personality. He is not the gift loving type to I don’t give him gifts often. He appreciates it more when I listen to him and heed his advice.”

Whether you perceive kindness via receiving gifts or been spoken gently to, always remember that life is but one. Life has no spare parts. You only live once. Thus, I bet you will want a kind woman, someone Franz Kafka referred to as a ‘rest and sleep woman’: a woman that will not give you headaches in future. A woman that will ensure that your home is peaceful and that when you return from the battles of life, you will have a willing hand to massage you and a warm chest to bury your tired head on.

Don’t suffer in the world and suffer at home!

Therefore, if she is kind, marry her!

 

Ike Amadi

Follow on twitter: @ikeamadi

Related Posts

Recent Posts

We hid cocaine in Arik flight meals – Attendant’s accomplice

The National Drug Law Enforcement Agency on Thursday said it had apprehended another employee of Arik Air, Ikechukwu Chibuzor Oliver, for his alleged involvement in the smuggling of 20kg cocaine to London on Monday. According to the NDLEA, Oliver had confessed to the crime and had revealed that he charged N400,000 for each of...

APC May Fail, PDP Not An Alternative – Doyin Okupe

Snr special assistant to former president Jonathan (public affairs), Doyin Okupe has described both the Peoples Democratic Party, PDP and its counterpart All Progressives Congress, APC as two sides of the same coin saying that APC may fail but PDP will not be an acceptable alternative to majority of Nigerians now or in future. Okupe made the remarks in a statement he published on his Facebook account on Thursday on the necessity for PDP to reform itself as political party. It was...

Wada, others screened for Kogi PDP guber primaries election

The Peoples Democratic Party (PDP), has screened Governor Idris Wada of Kogi, Jibrin Isa Echocho and Banjo Amoto Moses for the forthcoming gubernatorial primaries election of the party.   Senator Walid Jibrin, who presided over the exercise on Thursday in Lafia, told journalists that his committee was satisfied with the outcome, describing it as a peaceful one, devoid any rancor.   Jibrin said the three aspirants met all the requirements for participating in the forthcoming party primaries.   “We were assigned to perform the screening...

Buhari warns civil servants to shun corruption or leave service

President Muhammadu Buhari on Thursday in Abuja warned civil servants to shun corruption or be ready to leave the civil service.   The Permanent Secretary in the office of the Secretary to the Government of the Federation, Alhaji Muhammed Bukar, said President Buhari gave the warning when he was briefed on the activities of the General Services Office of the Secretary to the Government of the Federation (SGF).   Bukar said Buhari emphasised the importance of strict adherence to the rules and laws...

APC Governors’ Forum sets up committee on job creation

The All Progressives Congress (APC) Governors' Forum on Thursday said it had constituted a committee on job creation to reduce the rate of unemployment in the country. Disclosing this to newsmen after the forum’s meeting in Yola on Thursday, Gov. Rochas Okorocha of Imo, who is the chairman of the forum, said the governors were concerned with the level of poverty in the country.   He said the forum had resolved to tackle the issue, adding, “to this end, a committee headed by Alhaji...

Bauchi SSG, Ahmed Sulieman, emerges new Emir of Misau

Secretary to Bauchi State Government, Alhaji Ahmed Suleiman, has emerged the new First Class Emir of Misau in Bauchi State.   His appointment is contained in a statement issued on Thursday by the Permanent Secretary in charge of Political Affairs, Government House, Bauchi, Malam Hashimu Yakubu, and made available to the News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) “Following the death of the 10th Emir of Misau, Alhaji Muhammadu Manga III on Monday, 17th Aug. 2015, and pursuant to the powers conferred on him...

NUC releases list of 65 illegal universities in Nigeria

The National Universities Commission has released a list of illegal degree awarding institutions operating in Nigeria.   The list of these illegal universities was made available to the public in a NUC’s weekly bulletin dated August 24.   In the bulletin, the NUC Executive secretary, Julius Okojie, warned that Certificates obtained from these universities and colleges will not be recognized for the purpose of NYSC, employment and further studies.”     Full list:   1. University of Accountancy and Management Studies, operating anywhere in Nigeria. 2. Christians of Charity...

Buhari Appoints SSG, Chief Of Staff, Others

President Muhammadu Buhari has approved the following appointments: Engr. Babachir David Lawal – Secretary to the Government of the Federation Alhaji Abba Kyari – Chief of Staff to the President Col. Hameed Ibrahim Ali (rtd.) – Comptroller-General, Nigerian Customs Service Mr. Kure Martin Abeshi – Comptroller-General, Nigerian Immigration Service Senator Ita S.J. Enang – SSA to the President on National Assembly Matters (Senate) Hon. Suleiman A. Kawu – SSA to the President on National Assembly Matters (House of Representatives) The appointments are with effect...

President Buhari’s New Appointments; Secretary to the Federal Government, Chief of Staff, Others named

Col Hameed Ali (RTD) has been appointed as Comptroller General Customs by President Buhari. Babachir David Lawal has been appointed as Secretary to The Federal Government. Abba Kyari is President Buhari's Chief of Staff. Kure Martin Abeshi has been appointed as replacement for Comptroller General of Nigerian Immigration Service. Senator Ita Enang is appointed as Senior Special Assistant to President Buhari on National Assembly Matters (Senate). Suleiman Kawu is appointed Senior Special Assistant on National Assembly matters (House of Reps). Other appointments to...

@Allsocks_: Six Beneficial Reasons Why You Should Wear Socks

Wearing socks provides many benefits despite that socks remains an item of clothing that is most times neglected because it’s not mostly visible. Some of the importance of wearing socks includes; Socks are very useful for absorbing the sweat produced by the feet. Without wearing socks, sweat from the feet will be absorbed by the skin and the shoe, this will produce a very offensive odur which can be equally embarrassing. So when you wear socks you prevent your shoe...

Usain Bolt Grabs 10th Gold At World Championships

Usain Bolt put his sprinting supremacy beyond doubt. With one of his coasting-at-the-end performances in the 200 meters on Thursday, Justin Gatlin still couldn't get close as the Jamaican won a record 10th gold medal at the world championships. Looking left and failing to see any red from Gatlin's jersey, Bolt lifted both arms and punched his thumbs into his chest to show once again he is the greatest sprinter of all time.

APC Governors Meet In Adamawa

APC governors, otherwise referred to as the Progressive Governors Forum have arrived Yola, the capital of Adamawa State, as part of their monthly meetings which rotated among  the 22 APC States. The Governors arrived at the Government House on Thursday and were ushered into the Government House chambers by the host Governor, Senator Mohammed Umaru Jibrilla. Governor Jibrilla described the meeting as the first in the State in the history of his administration and prayed...

Fake Doctors: MDCN To Verify Doctors Employed By FG

After the discovery of a fake doc­tor, Martins Ugwu, who worked in the Federal Ministry of Health for nine years, using the cer­tificates of his friend, Dr. Davidson Daniel George, the Medical and Den­tal Council of Nigeria (MDCN) has commenced verification of all doctors employed by the Federal Government. Registrar of the MDCN, Dr. Abdulmunin Ibrahim, said in an exclusive in­terview in Abuja, that the detec­tion of Ugwu, who rose to become the chairman of Nigerian Medical...

New SSG Appointed

Governor Mohammed Abubakar of Bauchi State, has approved the appointment of Alhaji Bello Illelah as the new Secretary to the State Government. His appointment is contained in a statement issued in Bauchi on Thursday by the Permanent Secretary , Special Services, Malam Abdu Aliyu. Until his recent appointment, Illelah was the Special Adviser to the State Governor on Civil Service Matters. He had in the...

Buhari, Kukah Meet At Aso Rock

President Muhammadu Buhari on Thursday met briefly with the Catholic Bishop of Sokoto, Mathew Kukah at the Presidential Villa, Abuja. Kukah, who was part of the National Peace Committee delegation that visited the President earlier this month, is believed to be against the government’s move to probe corrupt ex-public officials. He resisted attempts by State House correspondents to question him on mission to the seat of power. Kukah, who was almost running from the...

Pirates Attack Boat, Abduct 3 In Bayelsa

Unidentified gunmen suspected to be sea pirates on Wednesday, attacked two passenger boats and kidnapped three persons along the Ogbia to Brass waterways in Bayelsa. Asinim Butswat, Police Spokesman for Bayelsa Command, confirmed the development on Thursday but said that details were still sketchy, “I am waiting for details.”, Butswat said. It was learnt that the abducted victims were two Okpoama community Chiefs, identified as Chief Blessing Wagio and Chief Isaac Akono-Igolo, as well as...

57 Illegal Universities In Nigeria, See Full List

The National Universities Commission recently released a list of illegal degree awarding institutions operating in Nigeria. The NUC Executive secretary, Julius Okojie, warned that those who patronise the schools, do so at their own risk. “Certificates obtained from these sources will not be recognized for the purpose of NYSC, employment and further studies,” the NUC said. 1. University of Accountancy and Management Studies, operating anywhere in Nigeria. 2. Christians of Charity American University of Science...

Arase Moves To Remove Lamorde As EFCC Chair- Report

The Inspector General of Police, Solomon Arase, has written to the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission indicating his plan to recall all police officers who have so far served in the commission for five years, authoritative sources at the police headquarters in Abuja say. In a letter, with reference number CB/33/80/IGP.SEC/Abj/Vol.52/60, and dated July 14, 2015, Mr. Arase directed the EFCC to compile a list of all officers in the category, and forward to his office...

World Bank Disburses $140m For Community Development In Nigeria

The World Bank yesterday said it was ready to commence disbursement of an additional sum of $140 million (about N30 billion) to 26 states of the federation and the Federal Capital Territory (FCT) to boost community projects in Nigeria. Already, the sum of $200 million had been disbursed in the first phase of the project. The project had disbursed US$ 200 million from 2009 to 2014 in the first phase of the Bank's Community and Social Development...

Lady Gaga Covered In Blood On EW Magazine Cover

Following those paparazzi shots of her shooting American Horror Story: Hotel in a magenta evening gown, Entertainment Weekly has an official look at Lady Gaga as the Countess on the cover of the new issue. She's wearing what appears to be a white silk dressing gown as well as that creepy glove with attached fingernail.

Justin Bieber Look-alike Toby Sheldon Broke Up With Boyfriend Before Death

Toby Sheldon who became famous for spending more than $100k to look like Justin Bieber has been found dead. Toby's body was found in a Motel 6 in the San Fernando Valley on August 21. He has been reported missing since August 18. Law enforcement say police found drugs in the room but it's unclear how he died. When Toby went missing, the LAPD said the disappearance may have been triggered by a breakup...