#KakandaTemple: Why I Love Governor Mu’azu Babangida Aliyu… – @GimbaKakanda

Published:4 Jan, 2013

#KakandaTemple: Why I Love Governor Mu’azu Babangida Aliyu… – @GimbaKakanda

 

People hate Governor Aliyu because of his oratorical prowess. My friends in the south have often led these antagonists whose main grouse is because an “Aboki” man not only has PhD, but surpasses their governors in confident expression of the Queen’s language. In Minna, our people envy Governor Aliyu’s royalty, and the grandeur with which he marks every traditional and religious festival as though he were an emir. Our Governor even owns an elephant!

 

Governor Aliyu came to us by chance. He came in after a political permutation struck out the candidate chosen by his predecessor. When I saw Governor Aliyu, I saw change. I knew he wouldn’t let the goons of the outgoing Governor Abdulkadir Kure’s days return to feast on our treasury. He was an intellectual, who had earned a PhD at a big American university. So, I wasn’t surprised when he shamed all those sycophantic journalists, friends and aides scrambling to label him “His Excellency”. Governor Aliyu asked us to call him a servant, our “Chief Servant”. Shun gaudy garbs—that’s what intellectuals do!

 

Governor Aliyu is a renegade. He set himself apart. He refused to live in the Government House. He leased his private residence to the government and, for this, every infrastructural development in the state capital starts from there, such that the only streetlit roads in Minna are those on his route, where his convoys of bomb-detecting SUV’s navigate from his residence to the Government House daily. That’s what Chief Servants do.

 

You see, Governor Aliyu is a man of style. He knew that he is the Moses to free us from the economic prison built around us by the previous administration. That was why, in imitation of Vision 2020 of late President Musa Yar’adua, Governor Aliyu proposed Vision 3:2020, a blueprint to get Niger State ranked among the three most economically developed states in Nigeria. That’s what visionary leaders do.

 

While he awaits a miracle to implement his policies, Governor Aliyu sees the need to end the beliefs held by our superstitious people that Zuma Rock was a palace of the jinn. Not that Governor Aliyu was afraid of the jinn, but he hired white mountaineers and helicopters to, in their word, “conquer” Zuma Rock. Governor Aliyu signed a Memorandum of Understanding with a Canadian tourism development company to jointly invest USD 700 million in turning the ambience of Zuma Rock into a tourist site. That’s what responsible servant leaders do!

 

Governor Aliyu knows his people. Aside from his initial grassroots intervention initiative, Jama’a Forum, which kicked off with the flurry of his Vision 3:2020 project, his elitist airs were understood implicitly in his demolitions of structures without a definable development blueprint. Our visionary governor plans to build a five-star hotel in a town that has no single industry; now various state-owned landed properties are to be sold and the proceeds invested in construction of a “Three Arms Zone”, a grand structure modeled after Abuja’s. Our Governor knows what “Three Arms Zone”, fashioned after America’s Capitol Hill, will do to his ego. But our Governor doesn’t just serve the elites alone, he knows what his people need is an escape from the monstrous poverty that haunts them in their houses. So he rganized and designed ostentatious programmes – carnivals, festivals, symposia, seminars, colloquia and workshops – repeatedly, to get the media abuzz. Governor Aliyu only does what people see. This is a man who can donate a billion dollar if, say, James Bond wishes to pay him a three-minute visit.

 

People envy Governor Aliyu because he glamourises our newspapers every day. The journalists love him. His Vision 3:2020 policies were implemented on the many billboards bearing his name and grinning, chubby face across the state. Even in the hinterlands, there are testimonies of his achievements written in the faces of billboards. May God bless the companies contracted to plant these bearers of a future unseen

 

Only Governor Aliyu and his policy analysts know how to recover the billions invested in tourism (and his many PR stunts) when there are no tourists ready to rub shoulder with Boko Haram freedom fighters. Only Governor Aliyu propagates free education hype when every school in Niger state now is a glorified abattoir. Only Governor Aliyu hires white mountaineers when what this wasteland of a state needs are “white” farmers (the Zimbabweans, yes!) to till this state with the largest landmass in Nigeria. Only Governor Aliyu thinks that the “idlers” of Niger state need his investments in inessential carnivals and cultural revival flaunts when there is no pipe-borne water in Minna…

 

And so my wise governor proved his intellectual wisdom again when the who-is-who in Nigeria, including his envied colleague, the Jesus of Owerri, Owelle Rochas Okorochas, headed to Minna on the 28th of December, 2012 for his daughters’ wedding extravaganza. His propaganda machinery was launched to cover up his failures: Streetlights were installed and repaired, roads were tarred and patched, electricity and, yes, water(!) were stable immediately before and throughout the duration of the wedding. They even renovated our central mosque. In just three weeks. But a complete blackout was registered in Minna soon as the guests left. That’s why I love Governor Aliyu.

 

Gimba Kakanda

Follow @gimbakakanda (On Twitter)

  • Alfa

    Nice 1 bro. U’ve said it all correctly.

  • Isah Ladan

    ROTFL! Brilliant… The best satire I read this.

  • P

    Well said. Iya wen I saw d headline. My eyes almost pop out. Thot u were goin 2 praise him.

  • Hassan

    That’s the most stupid Governor have ever seen in my entire life full of himself.

  • Biodun Eskay

    If every state has a writer with this biting satire, the governors would be on their toes.

    You kill it here, man. Just can’t stop laughing.

  • ibro kb

    Even Fadikpe community dat share fence wt govt house saw electricity for days durin †?? weddn. Wish †?? weddn neva end!.

  • nafisa

    That’s our chief servant for you. All talk and no work.

  • ibro kb

    Even Fadikpe community dat share fence wt govt house saw electricity for days durin †?? weddn. Wish †?? weddn neva end!.

  • RGT

    U ar been economical wt d truth.

  • Biodun Eskay

    One otha thing, Chief Servant must show us hw our recurrent expenditures gulp d larger percent of his 2013 budget. Hw many aides and aides’ aides does he have?

    First-class fraudster!

  • mohammed

    O fellow people expect the last hour soon. For the Noble one have said it all. He says when power & authority fails into the hands of the UNFIT, then expect the last hour. Fellow human being come close to your LORD for HE is the only answer to our problemsa. Thabks.

  • Isyaku Barau

    You have said it though satirically but most correctly but those that do not wish well for our dear state would be qyick to disregard it as ranting of oppositions.many people are seemed afraid to tell this Pharao the truth, hence this write-up demonstrates an extreme courage of Gimba Kakanda in the midst of consuming injustice. Remain blessed.

  • Linda Thomas

    “Our Governor even owns an elephant” – LMAO. There can’t be a better way to expose this fraudster. Nigeria is doomed!

  • zakari Tanimudari

    Any servant that has d prefix chief is a thief. Welldone kakanda

  • Asma’u Jarma

    LMAO! Satirical at its truest form. You said it all, Kakanda. Keep it coming, please!

  • Asma’u Jarma

    LMAO! Satire at its truest form. You said it all, Kakanda. Keep it coming, please!

Related Posts

Recent Posts

BREAKING: CBN Governor’s Wife Released Barely 24 Hours After Her Kidnap

According to a report by ThisDay, barely 24 hours after the wife of the Central Bank of Nigeria ( CBN) Governor, Mrs Margaret Emefiele, was kidnapped and held for ransom, she was released in the early hours of Saturday morning. Although the kidnappers had demanded for N1.5 billion before her release could be secured, she was rescued by a joint operation comprising the Nigerian Armed Forces, the police and local intelligence at the...

BREAKING: Wife of Nigeria’s Central Bank Governor, Emefiele, Kidnapped.

We have learned that a group of heavily armed kidnappers yesterday abducted Margaret Emefiele, the wife of Nigeria’s Central Bank Governor, Godwin Emefiele.   A source close to Mr. Emefiele told our correspondent that Mrs. Emefiele was kidnapped along the Benin-Agbor Road. Our source disclosed that the kidnappers have made contact with their victim’s husband, adding that they were demanding a huge sum in ransom.   Mrs. Emefiele’s kidnap represents one of the most high-profile kidnap cases in 2016   Our effort to reach the...

EFCC Opposes Fayose’s Request For N5 Billion Damages

The Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) has urged a Federal High Court sitting in Ado Ekiti to reject Governor Ayo Fayose’s request for N5 billion damages over the freezing of his personal bank accounts at Zenith Bank. The anti-graft agency through its counsel, Rotimi Oyedepo, at the resumed hearing of the suit on Friday urged the court to strike out Fayose’s further affidavit in response to its (EFCC’s) affidavit filed without leave of the court. The...

New Jersey Train Wreck Shocks Nation

A commuter train crashed into one of the busiest train stations in the New York area during the morning rush on Thursday, killing at least one person, injuring dozens of others and creating a scene of chaos and destruction, the authorities and witnesses said. The crash occurred around 8:45 a.m., when a commuter train slammed into the Hoboken Terminal building, Jim Smith, a spokesman for

Ayade To Buratai: We Need Heavy Military Presence In Cross River

Governor Ben Ayade of  Cross River State on Wednesday demanded heavy presence of the military in Calabar, in order to sustain peace in the state. He made the appeal when the Chief of army of  staff COAS, Lt. Gen Tukur Buratai paid him a courtesy visit in Calabar. Represented by his deputy, Prof Ivara Esu, Ayade applauded the COAS’s sterling leadership qualities, describing him as a delight in Nigeria’s Armed Forces.

Putin Signs Decree To Draft 152,000 Men Into Army By Year-end

Russian President Vladimir Putin has signed a decree to draft 152,000 young Russians into the Russian army before the end of the year. Government spokesman said on Friday in Kremlin that the military draft would be carried out from Oct. 1 to Dec. 31 concerning Russian citizens aged 18-27 who are not in reserve and are subject to the military draft under the law. He said that in accordance with the law,...

FG To Disburse N200m Each To 8 States To Empower Women

The Minister of Women Affairs and Social Development, Mrs Aisha Alhassan, said N200 million would be disbursed to eight pilot states each through the National Women Empowerment Fund (NAWEF) to empower women at the grassroots. Alhassan said this during a media briefing on the take-off of the National Women Empowerment Fund (NAWEF) and the Government Enterprise and Empowerment Programme (GEEP) in Abuja. She said the eight pilot states are Adamawa, Borno, Yobe, Nasarawa, Jigawa, Akwa...

Tight Monetary Policy Will Help Stabilise Naira, Attract Foreign Investors- World Bank

The World Bank has sanctioned Nigeria’s tight monetary policy environment, saying it would help stabilise the naira, strengthen real interest rates, and encourage a return of international investment in the economy. The Bank also stated that Nigeria’s exchange rate adjustment which was effected in June this year, coupled with the modest improvement in oil prices would help boost the country’s oil revenues in naira terms. This, in turn, should enable the federal and state governments...

I Will Continue To Blame My Predecessors For Nigeria’s Woes– Buhari

President Muhammadu Buhari on Thursday said despite the criticisms of many, he would continue to blame his predecessors for Nigeria’s woes. He said passing the buck, which people have been frowning at, was important in order for Nigerians to know what went wrong with the country. Buhari spoke at an event tagged, “The Conversation: An evening with creative youths,” held inside the old Banquet Hall of the Presidential Villa, Abuja. The event, attended also...

Egyptian Lawmaker Ridiculed For Proposing College Virginity Tests

An Egyptian member of parliament is facing ridicule for saying that universities should perform virginity tests on female students. Elhamy Agina reportedly told an Egyptian newspaper on Thursday that virginity should be a prerequisite for admission to university. He argued that it would help to end the practice of unregistered “customary” marriages that appeal to Egyptian youths who cannot afford formal weddings.“Any girl who enters university must be examined to prove she is a maiden,”...

How Abba Moro, Others Cut Cost Causing NIS Recruitment Tragedy– Witness

Despite raking in about N1 billion from sale of forms, only N45 million was released for the conduct of the tragic 2014 immigration recruitment exercise, a witness told the court on Friday Tabugn Sylvanus, a retired Director and Secretary of the Board of the National Immigration Service, NIS, said N201 million was actually required for a proper conduct of the exercise. Mr. Sylvanus also told the Federal High Court that a last minute adjustment made...

MTN Allegedly Lays Off Over 4000 Contract Staff

MTN Nigeria laying off Contract Staff without been paid their full salary. No gratuity, no pension, no thank you mail to people who have spent at least 5 years to like 14 years of their life. They did the worst last week by telling them to do photocopy of their ID cards and return the main ID'S with the staff left with a sheet of paper without been paid and still expected to work. They also harassed the contract staffs...

75,000 Children Could Die In Nigeria In 2017 – UNICEF

U.N. Children’s Fund warns that about 75,000 children will die next year in Nigeria. The horrible prediction is based on famine-like conditions created by Boko Haram if donors don’t respond quickly. The Fund stresses that’s far more than the 20,000 people killed in the seven-year Islamic uprising. Arjan de Wagt, nutrition chief for UNICEF in Nigeria, notes that the severity of malnutrition levels and high number of children facing death make the humanitarian crisis confronting northeastern Nigeria perhaps the worst...

UNILAG Shut Over Students’ Protest

The authorities of University of Lagos (UNILAG), Akoka, have ordered the closure of the gates of the main campus at Akoka due to protest by students. The aggrieved students were said to be protesting against the rustication of some members of the students' union. The rusticated students were leaders of the students body that led a protest in April over poor electricity and water supply in the community, and the difficulty faced by a large number of students living off campus...

Jumia Nigeria Is Launching Jumia Local To Sell Made-In-Nigeria Products

Jumia Nigeria is marking Nigeria’s 56th independence day anniversary this year by introducing an online store dedicated to products made in Nigeria. They’re calling it Jumia Local and the official launch is this Saturday, October 1, 2016 . Jumia Local is Jumia’s way of supporting local entrepreneurs and brands that manufacture or assemble their products in Nigeria. Merchants on the site will be able to sell their products on at 0% commission, and their products will be promoted through Jumia’s...

2face Becomes ‘Violence Free’ Ambassador

Ooni of Ife, Oba Adeyeye Enitan Ogunwusi, has appointed pop singer, 2face innocent Idibia, ace comedian, Gbenga Adeyinka 1st and entertainment entrepreneur, Cally Ikpe as the ambassadors of his new initiative, Violence Free World. The revered monarch disclosed this on Thursday at his palace. “I want to stress that you should understand that this role you are given should not be taken with a pinch of salt. You have all shown exemplary acts in the...

Oshiomole has given Edo state a worthy successor – Timipre Sylva

Former governor of Bayelsa State and All Progressives Congress candidate in the last governorship election in the state, Chief Timipre Sylva, has congratulated Governor Adams Oshiomhole of Edo State, Governor-Elect Godwin Obaseki, and the people of Edo State on the victory of APC at the 28 September governorship election.   In a congratulatory message on Friday in Yenagoa signed by his media adviser, Mr. Doifie Buokoribo, Sylva specially praised Oshiomhole for “a worthy cause to deliver a worthy successor to the...

FG to Pay States On Rehabilitated Roads – Fashola

The Federal Government is set to pay states that have used their resources to rehabilitate federal roads in their areas. Speaking Thursday in Katsina State, Minister of Power, Works, and Housing, Babatunde Raji Fashola, said President Muhammadu Buhari has assured to pay the debt. Fashola, who was speaking at the 22nd meeting of National Council of Works, said a committee was set up under his leadership and recommendations have been made to the government on...

Edo Elections: My View – Inibehe Effiong

It is clear from the just concluded gubernatorial election in Edo State that the Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC) has devised an intelligent policy in order to uphold the integrity of elections and the Card Reader. INEC has resorted to cancelling results from polling units where the total votes cast exceeded the total of voters accredited by the Card Reader. This practically leaves those opposed to credible elections with the aid of the Card Reader with a fait accompli. By...

Again, SSS Fails To Produce Dasuki In Court.

The Federal Government has again failed to produce the former National Security Adviser, Sambo Dasuki, before an Abuja High-Court for trial. Mr. Dasuki is accused of money laundering and corruption. He was charged along with five others before Justice Peter Affen, and was granted bail. He was re-arrested and kept in custody of the State Security since December 2015. Others being prosecuted along with the former NSA include a former Director of Finance in the Office of the NSA, Shuaibu Salisu, a...

Oil Prices Surge 6% After OPEC Cuts Production For First Time Since 2008

The world's leading oil nations - known as Opec - have struck a landmark deal at talks in Algeria that sees the countries agree to cut output and lift prices. Oversupply has been dogging the world's oil markets and hopes are that the first deal between the nations since 2008 will mark the end of the 'dumping' strategy previously favoured by the organisation's members. Immediately after the deal was agreed oil prices rose, with Brent Crude - the international benchmark -...