#KakandaTemple: A Lesson from the Little “Jesus” of Owerri

Published:18 Jan, 2013

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People are afraid of common sense. Soon as you utter a simple truth, watch them jump into their intellectual helicopters, rolling and rolling until they crash down into a forest of illogic.

I hate economists. What’s with the frown? Some of my good friends are economists. An economist friend always causes me migraine whenever I whisper “Rochas”. He hates “political showoffs”. Suraj Oyewale hates it when leaders act as though they spend from their personal purse. But the killjoys will always kill your joy. Another economist observes that Rochas’ humility is a strange case of conceit. He says that Rochas sees himself as a mini version of Jesus!

When you pass through the department of economics, you come out with a new approach to common sense. You’ve studied so many theories that you begin to think like a reincarnate of Thomas Malthus. You don’t know Malthus? Ah, you must have scored a justified F9 in your SSCE. I pity your parents (if they are economists); double registration spoils their scale of preference. Economics breeds a certain species of illusionary and self-confident thinkers whose proposition for third world countries is a leeway to destructive capitalism. That an idea works for America or Asia doesn’t make it a perfect model for Africa. To every people a context, to every context a specific social or economic framework.

You see, I don’t know what Thomas Malthus smoked when he declared that overpopulation can mainly be checked by disasters: Deaths and wars and famines and whatnots. Poor man, he didn’t know that a developed man is a machine. He didn’t know about the sciences of food production. He didn’t know that the most populous country today is more fed than the least populous. Economists are just as undependable as weathermen.

Calm down, I said to my friends. Easy, easy on Rochas. You want to build Nigeria? Build the people. Infrastructures don’t make a nation, people do. And it’s on this count that Rochas completed his seduction of my support. As a northerner, I love the challenge he has thrown on the desktop of governorship: Free education and allowances for students of Imo descent. As a northern Governor, I should despise this. You don’t know what this policy means, do you? Soon there will be an explosion of educated Igbo’s in and outside our civil service who the federal character principles cannot forestall. While Imo breeds educated and intellectual indigenes, the north breeds street beggars (and the states that propose to end the Almajiri child-begging have no feasible alternative in place!).

I wouldn’t have paid mind to this impending danger but for the realisation that I’m now an unschooled scholar of Nigeria’s psychology. Watch it, in about twenty years from now there would be sinister murmurings over Igbo domination of this and that sector. Trust me, I know my country.

Rochas’ populist policies earn my nod no matter the criticisms that his relationship with the masses is brewing hostility towards the elite class. And the critic that says his Father Christmas-administration is bringing the economy of the state to its knees fails to highlight the fallen socio-economic structures inherited from past years of misgovernance.

Don’t underestimate the wisdom of our economists, the breed that endorsed the proposed removal of fuel subsidy last year. Grand infrastructures are considered cornerstones of development where “third-worldly” derelictions aren’t threats. Build a billion dollar tower in Abuja, I will shrug. But build this in Minna, the devil that inspired that project may have to advise you to get me locked behind bars. Administrative wisdom is missing in this sub-Saharan hell.

My friends did not buy any of my postulations on Rochas’ welfarist agenda. Rochas must learn the ABC of governance and policymaking from Lagos state’s Governor Babatunde Fashola, they said. I laughed. The Internally Generated Revenues figures of Lagos state is the first dissimilarity. And, secondly, Fashola’s elitism is better bred in Lagos, FCT and, maybe Port Harcourt, Calabar, Uyo, name it. My economist friends blabbered about “welfarism” (as championed by Fashola) without a pause to know the flipsides of those decisions. Welfare is granted with certain consequences, and while my pro-elitism friends praise Fashola, none bothers to know what happens to the Okada riders and the difficulties interposed by their ban. Is it criminal for a pauper to dwell in the city?

Rochas knows that Nigeria lacks structures, and while he invests in primary infrastructures and social amenities, his eye on the people remains unblinking. You don’t build a castle with leprous masons and blind bricklayers. You don’t build a functional society with an army of dependent and uneducated citizens. The ideal way to cure the leprosy of this country is simply by granting the people that which will be used to build. Education. Emancipation. Rochas knows this. Human capital is ingloriously absent in northern Nigeria, and our clueless leaders still move around in their bomb-detecting SUV’s while Rochas joins queues at the airport and passes through security checks to board a commercial flight in this seasons of jet-crazed leaders. May God save us from us.

Gimba Kakanda
@gimbakakanda (on Twitter)

  • http://badru75@gmail.com Badru

    What an excellent piece! Bravo.

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The Police on Friday advised members of the public using ATM at various banks to be security conscious as some criminals now disguised as customers queuing to withdraw money. This is contained in a statement on the Nigeria Police Force website exposing the antics of criminals. The statement noted that on July 30, at about 12.10 a.m., a male bank customer went to withdraw money from one of the ATMs at the Central Business District (CBD), Abuja. It stated that...

We Live Like Rats, Yet Nigerians Want Us To Be Their Friends – Policemen

He was drenched with sweat by the time he wriggled himself through the narrow entrance of his room into the passageway. Looking very depressed and drowsy that Thursday afternoon, he dragged himself along the hole-ridden passage and collapsed into the rickety sofa beside the staircase that leads to the upper floors in one of the buildings in the barracks. With frustration written all over his face, Emma Uden (not real names), a sergeant in the police,...

Popular Yoruba Actor, Ajigijaga Dies At 60

Popular Yoruba actor, Mufutau Adio popularly known as Ajigijaga has died, aged 60. The famous actor known for playing the role of a crime boss in Yoruba movies, was also fondly called Broken Bottle by his fans. In a chat with his colleague,...

Mrs Saraki Is My Sister & Friend… Melaye Explains Why He Was At EFCC Office

The Chairman, Senate Adhoc Committee on Media and Publicity, Mr. Dino Melaye, has explained why he was at the EFCC office with Mrs Toyin Saraki, the wife of the Senate President when she  was invited by the commission. According to him, “The invitation of Mrs. Toyin Saraki by the EFCC, however, is not a criminal indictment. I will not abandon my friend because of (a) mere EFCC invitation. “I also went there as a private...

Mariam Abacha University Replies NUC, ‘You Are Out To Blackmail Us!’

After the National Universities Commission (NUC) asked Nigerians not to patronize Maryam Abacha American University of Niger, the university on its website has replied the commission saying they are only out to black mail them and could be due to jealousy of the young but fast growing institute. Below is what the university management also wrote in a memo published on its website. In the memo the institution said; “It considers the NUC publication about Maryam...

Nigeria Assumes Presidency Of UN Security Council

Nigeria has assumed the one-month rotational presidency of the United Nations Security Council, as the country’s permanent representative to the United Nations, Prof Joy Ogwu, takes over from Ambassador Gerard van Bohemen, the permanent representative of New Zealand, who held the presidency for the month of July, 2015. This will be the first time in the history of the UN...

International Superstar, Akon visits Bola Tinubu in Lagos

International singer, Akon, who is currently in Nigeria for his Solar power project, paid a visit to APC  National leader & former Lagos state governor, Bola Tinubu at his Ikoyi home in Lagos yesterday July 31st. See more photos after the cut..

Facebook baby on the way: Mark Zuckerberg & his wife expecting their first baby!

Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg and his wife Priscilla Chan have revealed that they are expecting their first baby -a baby girl! Making the announcement via Facebook, the billionaire founder and his wife who is a medical doctor, revealed that they suffered multiple miscarriage prior to this pregnancy. The statement reads... Priscilla and I have...

Woman stabs robber to death in Lagos

A member of a robbery gang met his death after attacking a middle-aged woman with the intention of robbing her rented apartment on the Lagos Island. The woman identified simply as Adenike, who is currently recuperating in a Lagos hospital, stabbed one of the assailants to death after she and her family...

Family Disagree Over Bobbi Kristina’s Burial Plans, Slams Boyfriend With $10m Suit

Dionne Warwick is threatening to boycott Bobbi Kristina Brown’s funeral because of a bitter disagreement over plans drawn up by Bobbi Kristina’s aunt, Pat Houston. And while the Brown and Houston families have strived to maintain a united front following Bobbi Kristina’s death last Sunday, Daily Mail Online reveals that the families are, in reality, riven by in-fighting over Pat Houston’s funeral plans, her attempts to solicit money in Bobbi Kristina’s name and what will become...

Beating Arsenal & Wenger Is Nothing Special – Mourinho

The Frenchman is yet to beat his Chelsea counterpart in 13 attempts, with the two set to face off in the Community Shield at Wembley on Sunday   Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho says beating Arsenal and Arsene Wenger is "nothing special" as he prepares to take on the Gunners...

Wilshere: Arsenal Can Be Successful This Season If…

Jack Wilshere is confident Arsenal can challenge for the Premier League title this season provided they are quick out of the blocks. Arsene Wenger's men won 19 of their last 26 matches in all competitions in a strong finish to the 2014-15 campaign but a worst ever start under the manager saw them win two of their opening eight league matches. Arsenal finished the season...

$9.3b Not $6b Was Stolen By Jonathan’s Minister – Duke Abiola

Just as the dust raised by the statement credited to Edo State governor, Adams Oshiomhole over the $6 billion dollars allegedly stolen by a former minister in the administration of former President, Goodluck Jonathan, Another prominent Nigerian, Queen Zainab Duke-Abiola, the Akasoba of Kalabari land in the Niger Delta, has said she had evidence from the White House that a former Petroleum Minister stole $9.3 billion. Duke Abiola, one of the wives of the late Chief MKO Abiola,...

Goodluck Jonathan Did Not Usually Pick My Calls, He Gave Power To Boko Haram – Biya Tells President Buhari

The official visit of President Muhammadu Buhari to Cameroun to discuss joint efforts to curb Boko Haram in the region has thrown up an indictment of former President Goodluck Jonathan. A very credible Presidency source told Daily Sun that in the anti-terror war, Jonathan did not do much in forming a synergy with leaders of Nigeria’s neighbouring countries. The source said during Buhari’s interaction with his Camerounian counterpart, Paul Biya, he disclosed that Jonathan isolated...

Let The Lawmakers Move On and Work for Nigeria – Yusuph Olaniyonu

Tuesday resumption of the two chambers of the federal legislature resumed after five weeks suspension of plenary. The recess scheduled for July 21 had been postponed by one week, obviously to allow more time for the reconciliatory process going on then among the legislators in both chambers of the National Assembly. As a result of the media hype and sensationalism surrounding the crisis, obviously fuelled from outside the parliament, many had believed that the resumption day...

Call for Applications – GEMS4 Launches £3.5 Million Funding Window For Private Sector Development

Charged with the mandate to catalyze private sector investment in innovative, commercially viable, and inclusive business models that result in improved performance, job creation and improved income opportunities for poor men and women engaged in the Wholesale and Retail sector, two funding windows have been launched by the Growth and Employment in States – Wholesale and Retail Sector (GEMS4) - a market development project in Nigeria funded by DFID/UKaid and the World Bank. It has been...

Female Suicide Bomber Apprehended After Failed Suicide Attempt In Cameroon

This female suicide bomber was arrested after her failed attempt to bomb a market in Marou, Cameroon this morning See another photo below...

Male Suicide Bomber Dressed As A Female Arrested In Chad

A male suicide bomber who disguised as a female was arrested after his attempt to bomb Djembe market in Chad this morning failed.

Kylie Jenner Clears The Air On Marriage Rumours

Kylie Jenner has finally shut down those pesky rumours that she’s tied the knot with Tyga, after being spotted with a fancy band on THAT finger. Rumours that weren’t *exactly* helped when she appeared on ‘I Am Cait’, replying to Caitlyn Jenner telling her her grandma was married at 17 by saying: “Kind of like me.” Taking to Twitter to clear things up once and for all, the 17-year-old wrote: “Not planning...

FG Tasked On Completion Of Ajaokuta, Other Steel Mills

The Federal govt. has been called upon to vigorously pursue, complete and put the Ajaokuta iron and steel complex, the Aladja steel rolling mills and the Oshogbo machine tools and Aluminum Smelter project into full and efficient production in order to boost the performance of PRODA, NASENI and FIIRO. Obibuzor Ifeanyi, President/Chairman of Council Institute of Business Development, who made the call in Lagos, said if   the nation’s steel and petrochemical plants are working well, producing...

Fresh Crisis Hits PDP

A fresh crisis has hit the people’s Democratic Party (PDP) in Anambra State, despite the congresses conducted by the party last week in the state that produced a new chairman in Prince Ken Emeakayi. The Chief Ejike Oguebego faction came up with a subsisting court order Friday, given by the federal High court in Portharcourt in 2013, declaring that status quo antebellum be maintained pending the hearing and determination of the substantive matter. Also, the...

Maiduguri Bomb Blast: What Really Happened

Witnesses have given accounts of the deadly bomb blast that rocked a grocery market in Maiduguri on Friday morning. Five people were reportedly killed and several others injured in a suicide bomb attack at a crowded earlier morning grocery market in the Borno State capital on Friday. According to a member of the youth vigilante group, who spoke under condition of anonymity, the attack happened at 6:30 am (local time) when most people were still...

Nigeria Assumes Presidency Of UN Security Council

Nigeria has taken over the leadership of the United Nations Security council, a monthly rotational presidency that member countries share. A statement by the head of Media 1, Tope Adeleye Elias-Fatile, permanent mission of Nigeria to the United Nations said the position starts running from the 3rd of August 2015. It will be an opportunity to highlight what the country is doing at the highest level of international engagements. Credit: 

Chadian Army Kills Over 100 Militants In Anti-Boko Haram Operation

At least 100 jihadist fighters have been killed in an operation against Boko Haram Islamists holed up on the islands of Lake Chad, the Chadian army said in a statement Friday. "117 terrorists have been killed, two Chadian soldiers died and two others were wounded" in the operation against the Nigeria-based movement, which began two weeks ago, army spokesman Colonel Azem Bermendoa Agouna said. "For two weeks, Boko Haram terrorists have been trying to...

Beijing To Host 2022 Winter Olympics

Beijing was selected Friday to host the 2022 Winter Olympics, becoming the first city awarded both the winter and summer games. Beijing narrowly defeated Almaty, Kazakhstan, in a vote of the International Olympic Committee. The vote was surprisingly close: 44-40. The Chinese capital, which hosted the 2008 Summer Olympics, came in to the vote as the strong favorite, despite its...

News Alert !! Missing Malaysian Air Boeing 777 Debris Found

  As reported by AFP ............ More details to follow later

Senator Bukola Saraki: At A Time Like This! By Olalekan Waheed Adigun

Since the inauguration of the 8th Nation Assembly on 9 June, 2015 many, including me, have offered several views on the causes and possible solutions to the crisis. Like most Nigerians, I want this to come to an end; the only difference is the “how?” I have made it clear in my previous articles on this matter that I am not, and will never be, in support of hooliganism, thuggery or corrupting, that appears to characterise...

‘I Will Keep Attacking You For Being Gay ‘, – Ultra Orthodox Jew Who Stabbed 6 Yesterday At Jerusalem Gay Pride March

An Orthodox Jewish assailant stabbed and wounded six participants in the annual Gay Pride march in Jerusalem on Thursday, police said. Yishai Shlissel spent 10 years in jail for a similar attack a decade ago when three marchers were wounded. Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu condemned 'as a most serious incident' what was the worst attack in years on the event in Jerusalem, a city where the religious population is more prominent than in other parts of...

Reuben Abati’s Rough Road to Redemption – Gimba Kakanda’s bloody rejoinder to Dr. Abati’s “My phones no longer ring” piece

Oblivion is a scary place. And for all who walked in the corridors of power and had enjoyed a reign expected to last longer, an abrupt end would surely be remembered with a painful nostalgia. Such pain must be the inspiration for Reuben Abati's first engagement with the media after leaving office, in a widely shared and contested account of his inglorious stint as Spokesman to President Goodluck Jonathan from 2011 to 2015 The story of Abati is, in the briefest summary, that...

NIMASA Boss, Akpobolokemi Arrested By EFCC

Former boss of the Nigerian Maritime Administration and Safety Agency NIMASA, Patrick Ziakede Akpobolokemi, who was sacked two weeks ago by President Buhari was arrested by EFCC officials yesterday July 30th. According to a NIMASA official who revealed this to Premium Times, Akpobolokemi was arrested yesterday morning at about 10am over allegations of misappropriation of funds during his tenure as the DG of the maritime agency “He was taken in this morning around 10 a.m. Some...

Drake, Fans Laugh Off Meek Mill’s Diss Reply, ‘Wanna Know’

Mill’s “Wanna Know,” his highly anticipated response to Drake’s diss raps, was slammed online. Mill maintains his stance that Drake does not write his songs, and makes specific reference to Drake’s “Know Yourself,” even playing audio of another rapper demoing a verse that includes a trademark Drake lyric, “Runnin’ through the six with my woes.”

I Headed A Military That Lacked Equipments & Motivation To Fight – Badeh

Immediate past Chief of Defence Staff, Air Chief Marshal Alex Badeh has confessed that when he assumed office as the CDS, he headed a armed forces that lacked the relevant equipment and motivation to fight an enemy (Boko Haram terrorists) that was invisible and embedded with the local populace. Badeh made the confession just as he pointed out that the decision of certain countries, to deny Nigeria weapons to prosecute the war against Boko Haram, added...

Reasons Why You Must Be On Twitter By M. Malumfashi

Twitter, a social media platform developed in 2006 and has now reached over 300m 'active' users with may be up to 1 billion accounts. At this digital age, with over 3 billion people said to be users of the Internet (almost half of the entire world). Nigeria represent about 2.5% of that figure making it the most Internet-using nation in Africa. According to NCC Internet users stood at nothing less than 88m, that's about 40% of our...

Unmasking Barack Obama’s Light Up Africa Project By Tony Ademiluyi

In 2013, United States President Barack Obama launched the Power Africa project with much fanfare in Cape Town in South Africa. The ambitious project is a $7 billion one handled by the United States Agency for International Development (USAID) with the goal to double electricity access in sub-Saharan Africa over the next five years. In his words ‘The program would provide light where currently there is darkness and the energy needed to lift people out of poverty.’...

Caitlyn Jenner Nominated For Social Media Queen At Teen Choice Awards

The 65-year-old transgender star has been nominated at the upcoming Teen Choice Awards for Social Media Queen. Caitlyn goes up against Katy Perry, Miley Cyrus, Nicki Minaj, Selena Gomez, and Taylor Swift in the same category. Upon the announcement Caitlyn tweeted: 'And to think I wouldn't have qualified for this nom a few months ago... What an...

Nigerian Army Rescues 71 From Boko Haram

Nigerian soldiers rescued 71 people, almost all girls and women, in firefights that killed many Boko Haram militants in villages near the northeastern city of Maiduguri, the military said Thursday. Some captives told The Associated Press they were in the clutches of the Islamic extremists for as long as a year. "I was waiting for death ... they often threatened to kill us," said Yagana Kyari, a woman in her 20s who said she had...

Dear Obama: Corruption Isn’t Just Africa’s Problem By Howard W. French

r an American president celebrated by many of his listeners as a returning native son, Barack Obama’s recent speech in a Nairobi stadium was a strange way to promote what he called an Africa “on the move.” Yes, there were plenty of feel-good moments in Nairobi, where a smiling Obama dined with family, dropped occasional phrases in Swahili, and danced with an easy grace to African rhythms before the cameras. It all thoroughly charmed an audience...

House Leadership: S’East Reps Grumble Over Exclusion

THE two All Progressives Congress members of the House of Representatives from the South-East geopolitical zone on Tuesday grumbled over their alleged exclusion from the House leadership positions by the party caucus. The South-East Reps rejected the argument that they were first-timers hence not qualified to hold principal office in the lower federal chamber. They argued that the Senate Minority Leader, ex-Akwa Ibom State Governor, Godswill Akpabio, was also a fresh member of the upper...

Amber Rose Raises White Flag, Intends To Make Amends With The Kardashians

Amber Rose is ready to "have a conversation" with Kylie Jenner and Khloe Kardashian after a Twitter feud erupted when the 31-year-old model slammed Jenner for her relationship with 25-year-old rapper Tyga, the ex to her friend, Blac Chyna. The drama began in February when Rose spoke to Power 105.1'sThe Breakfast Club. "She's a baby, she needs to go to bed at 7 o'clock and relax," she said of Jenner. "That's ridiculous. should...

Bomb Explosion Rocks Maiduguri Market

Explosion has rocked Gamboru market by Customs bridge in the heart of Maiduguri claiming many lives. Eye witness told our reporter that the explosion went off Friday morning near the parking area of tricycle operators know as Keke NAPEP in the market. The scene is said to be strewn with bodies of victims of the blast. Detail Later...