The Things We Have Control Over – Oreoluwa Aboluwarin @oreoluwade

Published:15 Nov, 2012

TheThings We Have Control Over – Oreoluwa Aboluwarin @oreoluwade

The reports made of us at our demise or on special occasions involving recognition comes in two forms:


Tales of woes told by foes, or of victories narrated by contemporaries.


Aside the awesome influence of the supreme diety upon our lives, man indeed owes a large portion of what he makes of himself to himself.


Now, there are various factors that ulimately decide what we would be remembered for, the ill or good spoken of us, what we would have achieved, the legacies we leave behind. However, the one that interests me for the purpose of this ‘charge’ is what we make of the things we have control over.


 ‘Aside the awesome influence of the supreme diety upon our lives, man indeed owes a large portion of what he makes of himself to himself.’

There have been stories told through time of people who have prevailed under the worst forms of adversities, standing out as beacons, illuminating even the paths of generations yet unborn due to their daunting resolves and staunchness. History is littered with the blind people who became forces and reference points, those considered retarded early in life by neutral observers, those disabled from birth or maimed under unfortunate circumstances, dyslexia patients who ended up becoming the inventors of amazing creations, lowly born people who made their environment aglow with their sparkling brilliance, the weak and those ordinarily considered mediocre who found the strength from within to stay afloat.


If you’re sat down to hear of these stories, I’m sure some will bring tears to your eyes. I’m sure you’d pay rapt attention to the extraordinary tales of “AHAS” and “HURRAHS” some of them have to say, their highs and lows and how they managed to make something out of nothing.


It is very easy to see a man at the point of his elevation, the PROCESS that took him there though is a different ball game entirely. The world craves results, pinnacles of careers, standout performance in situations, acclaim in events, yet one basic thing we fail to CONSTANTLY do is work for it.


Why we wallow in the ‘commonplace’ is simple. We simply do not direct our efforts at the things we can help. This is why man ordinarily finds a way to lay the blame for his incompetence and non-productiveness at the foot of another. We are envious of those who have made it, attributing their successes to lucky patches or random glitches in the natural order. What I consider a malady is the eloquence some of us have found in explaining away our idiocies in tackling some random force or power that influences our daily lives and threaten our existence. We are quick to find reasons why “we can’t” or “it can’t be done”


 ‘It is very easy to see a man at the point of his elevation, the PROCESS that took him there though is a different ball game entirely’.

Yes, I would be lying if I said all that we have to do to make it depends on us. However, I reckon that it is easy to see what we want to be in the future, the problem we face is that we don’t act in accordance now. Hence, we build our future happiness and achievements on imaginary platforms, hopeless foundations.


A man who blows steam always, moans and groans over how the world will not devote itself to making him happy will ALWAYS find himself far from where he hopes to be. The simple act of reveling in our reveries and incessantly using the “WHAT IF” statement vocally or inside us can only take us further down the abyss of nothingness. Only the proactive are rewarded. The complainants, the lazy ones drown in their miseries!


  ‘The world craves results, pinnacles of careers, standout performance in situations, acclaim in events, yet one basic thing we fail to CONSTANTLY do is work for it’.

We allow ourselves to be unnecessarily bothered about the things we can’t help, focusing too much attention, directing too much animosity, utilizing so much of our strength on them, attributes which would better have been channeled elsewhere.


We allow our actions to be based on the opinions of others, we follow the joneses, we have no minds of our own, we overanalyze situations till golden opportunities pass us by. Then the “HAD I KNOWN” sets in.


A man who blows steam always, moans and groans over how the world will not devote itself to making him happy will ALWAYS find himself far from where he hopes to be’.

The wise one really should quit being redundant and inactive, he truly should refuse to allow temporal inconveniences prevent his efforts. QUIT THINKING TOO MUCH. IF IT FEELS RIGHT, IT PROBABLY IS, SO JUST GO WITH IT, ELSE GO WITH ANOTHER. Indecision and dilly-dallying have ensured many a man never crosses the benchmark of “average” in his miserable life.


Do not abandon your dreams because you don’t get it right at the first time, at the same time be open to experiences all around that will eventually shape you into the desired YOU. Failure is not all about gross poverty, sometimes it has to do with the fact that we simply didn’t do the things that would have made us happy, given us satisfaction, these are the things we have control over.


As much as you aim for the top spots, as much as you crave relevance, as much as you believe you have to be involved in the rat-race, take things at a good stride (not any stride, not necessarily with levity). Learn to dwell more on the things you can do something about, not the colour of your skin, your country, your religion, past results. These things have happened already, THEY CAN’T BE CHANGED!


When a man realizes his purpose, recognizes his place, works at the things in the circle of his influence, goes for what he believes in, the chronicles of him narrated at any point in time will be good ones. And while you’re at it ensure not to step on toes or use people around you as foot mats. Always remember THE SKY IS EXPANSIVE ENOUGH TO CONTAIN A MILLION STARS.


Yes, you don’t have an input in natural occurrences, you sometimes don’t have a say in what people think of you or their decisions, yet you can choose to be happy while others are sad, defiant in the face of adversity, grateful when complaining would seem easier, watchful when sleeping is more convenient, persistent when giving up seems the reasonable thing to do to the simple minded. You can ALWAYS choose how you react with what happens to you. Also, you can choose sometimes what happens to you by your simple actions!


Do what you love to do, do what you are called to do, do what you feel like doing and most importantly, do what you can do something about. The rest is grossly irrelevant. You to a large extent are the most important determinant of your happiness while the earth you yet inhabit.


Till next time, STAY ON TOP! Cheers!




Interact with me on twitter @oreoluwade


  • zebbook

    I had to read and re-read this a couple of times, it’s filled with so much wisdom I fear I would be doing myself serious harm by reading it just once. This is life’s manual for success, words on marble, the secret ingredient with which achievers make their meal. I hope everyone reads this and pass it on to their neighbours. Well done Sir!

    ‘Do what you love to do, do what you are called to do, do what you feel like doing and most importantly, do what you can do something about’.

  • ayo David

    very well said brother. i believe we must all face what we have to acheive instead of commenting ignorantly on what another man calls acheivement. great thinking.

  • Ronnie

    I’m afraid that we allow the thief of time steal away our most treasured moments, when all we see are; the whys’, the hows’ and the whats’…Weldone Oreoluwa!

  • Kabolobari

    This article makes an impression, a correct assessment of man-style judgement, and offers but an obvious conclusive, rather didactic, solution. I enjoyed it and,…

    (Great, it had to be prose!)

  • Abah Harmony Matthew

    WOW! Sir, this absolutely Amazing and I think this should be publish on National Dailies so more People, especially the youths can read! May GOD grant you more wisdom! Good one!

  • olumide

    Do what you love to do, do what you are called to do, do what you feel like doing and most importantly, do what you can do something about’.Emphasis on DO-great one Oreoluwa

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