LEXICON of NIGERIAN POLITICS and GOVERNANCE – by Rev Olooshun @revolution_ng

Published:21 Nov, 2012

LEXICON of NIGERIAN POLITICS and GOVERNANCE – by Rev Olooshun @revolution_ng



Usually a man, but sometimes a woman of any age, with a proven possession of singular focus, ruthlessness, greed and, above all else, the ability to worship the owner of any set of fingers that feed, that is until the feeding stops or a better feeder comes along. He answers to the reigning POLITICAL GOD FATHER and his sole job is to embezzle public funds for onward transmission to said POLITICAL GOD FATHER, after deducting his commission.



Exclusively male. Usually dabbles in occult activities or at least claims to. Demonstrates all the qualities of the POLITICIAN, but operates at a much higher level. Must have an army of between 100 and 100,000 authentic area boys at his command bred on a concentrated mixture of poverty and peanuts for the sole purpose of rigging elections.  He answers to the current party chairman and his sole job is to deliver real or rigged electoral victories for the POLITICAINS/POLITICAL PARTIES in the areas within his domain. Every so often, he promotes a promising young individual from among his troops and promotes them to the role of POLITICIAN; he rigs an election for them and puts them in power.



Male, usually an ex-POLITICIAN, retired from active POLITICS for at least 10 years. Must have been out of the public eye for such a length of time that his scandals and accusations of theft, fraud and sleaze have been forgotten and/or overtaken by bigger scandals and thefts perpetrated by the POLITICIANS that came after him. This gives him an air of integrity.



Exclusively male, appointed by the PRESIDENT on the recommendations of relevant POLITICIANS, POLITICAL GOD FATHERS and, sometimes PARTY CHAIRMEN across all POLITICAL PARTIES. Their primary role is to aid the PRESIDENT and the entire POLITICIANS control the MASSES of Muslim/Hausa extraction in Northern Nigeria. The usual method is to ensure illiteracy and poverty levels remain high enough that the Northern MASSES are either too unaware or too hungry to question the POLITICIANS who steal public funds. Being religious leaders they also serve as conscience soothers to weak POLITICIANS, offering prayers on behalf of those who still have a sense of morality and receiving hefty donations in cash or kind as a means of purifying their loot. The Emirs are also paid official salaries/allowances because they also serve as traditional rulers.



Mainly male, however several females now abide within the fold. Appointed via secret, divine mandate by one Supreme Being or another, they serve to compliment the efforts of the EMIRS. However, as illiteracy and poverty levels are slightly lower across Southern Nigeria, and Southern POLITICIANS insist on stealing as much money as their Northern counterparts, a different more potent method of hypnosis must be applied. Christians are taught to do the following:

1.       Pray for their leaders (even those indicted and convicted of crime)

2.       Not to touch the Lord’s anointed (including all leaders, spiritual as well as political)

3.       To seek riches and comfort in heaven and to view earthly suffering as a perfecting process for Heaven.

4.       To pray that God will take away all our problems and not to fight in the flesh but in the Spirit.

They serve the same functions as the EMIRS in that they also purify stolen money, however they charge a fixed fee not less than 10% of said loot, in addition to ‘church building pledges’, ‘missionary offerings’ and several other donations which when combined cleanse the looter and absolve him of all guilt. PASTORS charge much more than EMIRS simply because they offer no constitutionally recognized service to the state and as such receive no official salary/allowances.



This office has been reinvented in recent years to comply with the NIGERIAN POLITICAL SYSTEM and as such receives a mention here. The person who holds this office amalgamates all the powers, rights and privileges of all PASTORS. He is their leader and he represents their interests at the NATIONAL CAKE TABLE. He answers exclusively to the PRESIDENT, serving the same purpose as the PASTORS and receiving the same payments, albeit on a presidential level.



All significant sources of national income, chief amongst them being Crude Oil.



An euphemism that encompasses all the means and methods, institutions and agencies that the NIGERIAN POLITICAL SYSTEM utilizes to embezzle any and all sources of significant national income, chief amongst them being the NNPC.




A convoluted mockery of democratic ideals and processes, instituted by Gen. Ibrahim Babangida and Gen. Abdulsalam Abubakar, sheltered in the PDP, perfected by Gen. Olusegun Obasanjo and currently operated by Dr. Goodluck Jonathan. Its three-fold purpose is to protect past treasury looters from prosecution of any kind, prepare future treasury looters for the looting they will one day perform, while facilitating present treasury looters in their task of looting as much as possible. Of course in this equation, the MASSES and the MIDDLE CLASS serve the purpose of making bricks without straw, i.e. paying all manner of taxes, fees and charges to POLITICIANS who will steal said taxes, fees and charges in broad daylight. The taxes are paid from profits earned from businesses that are set-up without any government loans, powered by private generators, watered by private boreholes and accessed by private sand-filled roads. POLITICIANS are the primary operators of the system, stealing from the public treasury at one end and from the MASSES and MIDDLE CLASS at the other end and siphoning the loot upwards all the way to the top of the Corruption Tree. The fact that at least 170,000,000 citizens allow themselves to be misruled and enslaved by no more than 100,000 operators of the NIGERIAN POLITICAL SYSTEM would baffle deities and am sure is the topic of deep analysis at schools of mass hypnosis.



These are the branches on the tree of the NIGERIAN POLITICAL SYSTEM. Even though they grow to different lengths and in different directions they share the same stem and root. Their motivation, objectives and roles in the POLITICAL SYSTEM are identical, what differentiates them is their sphere of influence, for instance:

1.       PDP:  Older politicians and ex-military. National outlook.

2.       ACN:  Younger politicians. Yoruba outlook.

3.       APGA: Younger politicians. Ibo outlook.

4.       CPC: Younger politicians. Hausa outlook.

The characterizations above are not cast in stone, for example the odd Yoruba politician will function in APGA if the overall purpose is served.



Nigeria’s horde of living zombies. Born and bred in poverty and despair and trained to fear and offer unconditional submission to authority of any kind, even if the authority figure is illegitimate and immoral. The more docile members of the MASSES are created, maintained and controlled primarily by the EMIRS and PASTORS. Those who escape the financial restraints placed upon the MASSES by the POLITICAL SYSTEM and find a way to either earn legitimate money or steal crumbs that fall from the NATIONAL CAKE TABLE form the two halves of the MIDDLE CLASS.



These are individuals, usually educated, who have found a legitimate way to earn enough money to live a life not fully controlled by the POLITICAL SYSTEM. They can afford to buy generators and fuel them; they can afford to live in the nice parts of the major towns and cities, even if in a small flat. They see the sleaze that they live in and even though they hate it and would never partake in it, they feel powerless to stop it and eventually settle into a self-sufficient life.




This class of individuals is either not educated or have abandoned their field of study for the job of CONTRACTOR. They live the life of the other MIDDLE CLASS group, but they have no qualms with the rot and corruption that the POLITICAL SYSTEM thrives on. They actually aspire to a better position around or beneath the NATIONAL CAKE TABLE and will eventually become POLITICIANS, once they find a suitable POLITICAL GOD FATHER to get them started.

The future of Nigeria will be determined by the MIDDLE CLASS, either side of them has the number and the resources to overthrow the POLITICAL SYSTEM. But while MIDDLE CLASS 2 will kill to maintain the status quo, MIDDLE CLASS 1, while definitely not wealthy, is too comfortable to embrace the threat of death.




Usually cross generational. Fathers and mothers pass down the role to their sons and daughters. Male or female, these are the cronies, partners and business fronts for members of the POLITICAL SYSTEM. They become the bank CEOs, oil company executives, business moguls and multi billionaires. The POLITICAL SYTEM controls all other systems, and very few ‘unaffiliated’ individuals will rise to the top of their fields when the business and corporate regulators are appointed to stop the progress of non-affiliates of the POLITICAL SYSTEM. They are the ‘experts’, the ‘technocrats’ who come on business programs on TV, explaining and championing government policies that were obviously designed in other countries for foreign benefit.



This is the authorized herder of the MASSES for the POLITICAL CLASS, and also serves as enforcer/protector for the POLITICIAN, POLITICAL GOD FATHER, PARTY CHAIRMAN, EMIRS, PASTORS, CAN PRESIDENT and the BUSINESS ELITE in normal times.


NIGERIAN SOLDIER (army, navy, air force):

Brainwashed android. Trained to kill Nigerians at home and protect foreigners abroad. The exclusive enforcer/protector for the PRESIDENT at all times, also serves as additional protection for the PARTY CHAIRMAN, EMIRS, CAN PRESIDENT and major PASTORS in normal times. In times of unrest their protection duties are expanded to protect all members of the POLITICAL SYSTEM and its affiliates.



The general overseer, enforcer, protector, enabler, facilitator, benefactor, patron and current, main beneficiary of the NIGERIAN POLITICAL SYSTEM.


– Rev Olooshun

Follow @revolution_ng on twitter

Related Posts

Recent Posts

Senate Receives 2nd Batch Of Ministerial List

The Senate President, Dr. Bukola Saraki, has received the second batch of the ministerial nominees from President Muhammadu Buhari. The list was submitted by the President’s Chief of Staff, Alhaji Abba Kyari, and his legislative aide, Senator Ita Solomon Enang, to the Senate President. The submission was announced by the Senate via its Twitter page. http://twitter.com/NGRSenate/status/653594225091735553/photo/1

Saraki Receives 2nd Batch Of Ministerial List

Senate President, Olubukola Saraki on Monday, confirmed  the arrival of the 2nd batch of the ministerial list on his official Twitter handle. See tweet below: https://twitter.com/bukolasaraki/status/653594414242230272?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

Man To Marry Dead Woman In Ebonyi

A family of a deceased woman have suspended her burial rites until her ‘husband’ who she was living with, performs her wedding rites. The woman, Chinyere Mbam, died from the snake bite she sustained while returning from the wake-keep of her friend, Oge Ogashi. She was taken to a traditional healing home in the area for treatment and thereafter back to the husband’s home where she died. Her uncle, Ishiali Ikwe, confirmed her death.

ISIS Terrorist That Auctioned Off Young Christian Girls Killed In Russian Airstrike

According to Villi Wilson, this ISIS guy that was pictured auctioning off Christian girls in a slave market - laughing and happy (pic above) - was killed in the Russian airstrike recently. Villi wrote: "You remember the son of a bitch ISIS guy that was auctioning off christian girls...Yep...Putin got him!!" See a pic of his corpse below...

Things That Disqualify You From Being A Husband Material

1. You think the concept of marriage is flawed For whatever reason, you just don’t buy into the whole framework of marriage. You might believe that this institution was created to oppress the masses, uphold societal standards, and impede your free will. You may also believe that it’s meaningless. Divorce isn’t cheap, you know. 2. You haven’t reached that juncture in your life yet An article on Today cited a survey mentioned in the book, Why Men Marry Some...

Zayyad I. Muhammad: Boko Haram War; Between Buhari, Goodluck And The North East

Northeast Nigeria - the epicenter of most of Boko Haram’s frightening atrocities, has stories to tell, now and in the future. The stories will be punctuated by the names Goodluck Jonathan, Muhammadu Buhari, Boko Haram and toxic leadership.  The Goodluck Jonathan chapter will be inundated with the sloppy handling of the Boko Haram war by the government at the centre, which...

Signs You Are Not Ready To Get Married Yet

You haven’t had a REAL fight, or faced any really big obstacles together I know this seems a little bit counterintuitive to living in unadulterated bliss, but hear me out: If you’re past the honeymoon stage in your relationship and you haven’t had a disagreement with your partner that turned into something that made the situation at least moderately uncomfortable, you’re probably not ready for marriage. The quintessential marital vows do, after all, have “in sickness...

EFCC arrests former Benue governor, Gabriel Suswam

The Economic and Financial Crimes Commission, EFCC, on Monday, reportedly arrested the immediate past governor of Benue State, Gabriel Suswan, over alleged corruption during his tenure as governor.   Suswam who governed the state between 2007 and May 2015 was this morning quizzed at the EFCC office in Abuja over alleged graft in his state.   “He was invited by the EFCC in connection with ongoing corruption investigation in Benue state,” Wilson Uwajuren, EFCC spokesperson said.   Mr. Suswam’s arrest follows last Friday’s questioning of...

Ambode Tasks LG Bosses On Rehabilitation of Inner Roads, Government to Deliver At Least Two Roads Per Council

…Says Govt To Deliver Two Roads In Each Council …Urges Executive Secretaries To Get Involved In Their Communities Lagos State Governor, Mr. Akinwunmi Ambode on Monday unveiled plans to commence the reconstruction of two roads in each of the 20 Local Governments and 37 Local Council Development Areas in the State, just as he charged the Executive Secretaries to judiciously ensure that the projects meet international standard. The Governor spoke at the Lagos House, Ikeja during the monthly meeting...

7 Romantic Gestures That Women Love

1. Open the door for her Yes, I realize this is a long-honored and commonly recognized act of respect. However, you might be surprised at just how overlooked this simple gesture has become. As a relationship progresses and you become more comfortable with a person, it’s easy to let little things like this slip. But trust us, your stepping ahead of her to open the door, rather than walking in first and simply holding the door...

Joshua Jesse Kelvin: The Enyeama Enigma; Revisiting the Concept of Captainship

"I have fought a good fought a good fight for more than 13 years, i have finished my course, i have kept the faith and sang the anthem with passion, henceforth there Is laid for me a crown which only God can reward me for my 13 years of national service. God bless Nigeria."   These were the exact words of Vincent Enyeama, Super Eagles Captain who took on to instagram to announce his international retirement...

Bemdoo hulugh: What Legacy Would Generations Unborn Know Of Our Nigerian Politicians?

When I heard of the death of DSP Alamieyeseigha, I began to think about what will be going through his mind those last moments before his death. Here is a man who most likely couldn't travel abroad for treatment because he is a wanted man outside the shores of this country and couldn't get good treatment here because almost 8years as governor he didn't build a single hospital that can save lives. Like the story of the...

Sunday Dare: Tinubu remains true to the APC vision and the Nigerian project

National Leader of Nigeria’s ruling All Progressives Congress, APC, Asiwaju Bola Ahmed Tinubu, has strongly denounced a report in The Sun newspaper that he is teeming up with Senate President, Bukola Saraki, to undermine the government of President Muhammadu Buhari.   This was contained in a statement issued on his behalf by Sunday Dare, his Chief of Staff /Special Adviser Media.   Read the full statement below:   "The SUN Newspaper has taken a sad excursion from journalism into the realm of gothic tales and...

Obasanjo’s Assets: Group Petitions Code Of Conduct Bureau

A non-governmental resource centre, Human and Environmental Development Agenda (HEDA), has petitioned the chairman of the Code of Conduct Bureau (CCB), to demand an update on an earlier request it made to the bureau over actions of former President Olusegun Obasanjo while in office between 1999 and 2007. The latest petition signed by the centre’s chairman, Olanrewaju Suraj, is requesting information regarding a petition written by HEDA on July 25, 2013. “In a petition dated...

Taskforce Alerts On Plot To Attack Jos

Special Task Force in Plateau State, Operation Safe Haven, OPSH, has alerted the citizenry of plan by terrorists to attack Jos, the state capital, and environs. While calling on citizens to be on alert, the security task force urged them to pay particular attention to public spots such as motor parks, relaxation areas, markets, mosques and churches, among others. A statement signed by Media / Information officer of OPSH, Captain Iweha Ikedichi, and made available...

Kidnapped Lawmaker’s Daughter Found In Boyfriend’s Bosom

It was like a scene in a comic movie as the supposedly kidnapped 24-year-old daughter of Hon. Edionwele, representing Esan Constituency,  Edo State, Jessica, was found right in the bosom of her boyfriend in Lugbe, an outskirt of Federal Capital Territory,  Abuja, Sunday evening by policemen from the command. Jessica, last Wednesday was reported to have left Ibadan, Oyo State,  where she was serving, for Lagos to board an aircraft to Abuja. She was said to...

Surrender now or face consequences, Army warns Boko Haram

The Nigerian Army has again warned members of Boko Haram terrorist group to surrender and face the law as failure to do so will result in serious consequences for insurgents.   The warning is contained in a statement signed by Col. Sani Usman, the acting Director Army Public Relations, a copy of which was made available to the News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) in Abuja on Sunday.   The statement said that the army was aware of Boko Haram's hideouts, camps and enclaves...

UNICAL Students Protest Water Scarcity, Power Outage

Students of the University of Calabar (UNICAL) on Monday carried placards protesting against neglect of their welfare by the authorities of the university. The protest, which began at about 5.30 a.m., created panic as workers and traders got stranded at roads linking the university, including Etta Agbor, IBB Way and Mary Slessor Road. The placards read: “VC, give us water and light, students cannot study without light and water, electricity and water is our right,’’...

Tribunal Upholds Dino Melaye’s Election

The National Assembly and Legislative Houses Election Petition Tribunal sitting in Lokoja, Kogi State has upheld the election of Senator Dino Melaye as the winner of the 2015 Kogi West Senatorial Election against the petition by his rival, Senator Smart Adeyemi. Melaye had been declared winner of the election conducted March 28 pulling an upset that shocked many who had come to know Senator Adeyemi for his populist views in the Senate and even his populist exposure...

NNPC begins monthly publication of financial and operational report

The Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation,( NNPC) has commenced the monthly publication of its provisional financial and operational reports for public scrutiny, a statement from the NNPC says.   The statement signed by NNPC’s Group General Manger, Group Public Affairs Division Mr Ohi Alegbe in Abuja on Sunday said that the publication provided an overview of NNPC’s operations from January to August 2015.   The statement said the report also provided a detailed and unprecedented statistical insight into crucial aspects of the corporation’s activitie...

Raymond Dotun: “Nigeria” You Shall Come Forth As Gold

   Nigeria is a great country, no doubt. Obviously, we are headed to the land of our dreams  which i strongly believe our arrival at that glorious land is soonest. For the past few months of the exhibition of ingenuity in administration of  President Muhammadu Buhari, the fear that corruption has inhaled in this country is enough to cause it to suffocate. The revival and restoration of zeal in the administrative activities of lazy bosses is just...