Dream of a Revolution – by Rev’ Olooshun @revolution_ng

Published:29 Nov, 2012

Dream of a Revolution – by Rev’ Olooshun @revolution_ng

It was February 28, the 28th day of the riot, or the Nigerian Revolution as the international news agencies were calling it. Local news channels knew better however; licenses of several media houses had been revoked, their offices vandalized by gun-toting soldiers, computers seized, editors arrested. All for daring to portray the month-long, sometimes bloody, nation-wide

riots as anything other than an ordinary public disturbance sponsored by opposition political parties and carried out by their thugs, whom the government, through relevant security agencies, would soon round up and bring to book.In truth it was anything but ordinary. The rebels were extremely organized and highly motivated, split into various groups, with a major component operating from outside the country, members of Nigeria’s gigantic diaspora community. Their tech experts had hacked into the email accounts, computers, databases and websites of virtually every major government agency, discovering secret memos and documents detailing shady dealings between government officials at the highest levels and their local and foreign collaborators, these documents had been emailed to major global news outlets and anti-corruption agencies and civil society groups. They also targeted bank accounts of corrupt government officials and their private partners who were more often than not, mere fronts for all manner of financial crime. Large chunks of the money there was spirited into special accounts which went to fund the operations on the ground, aiding the coordination and equipping of millions of young and old, poor and not-so-poor citizens as they battled federal police and soldiers as well as vigilante groups formed by die-hard pro-government citizens, made up mostly of family and friends of government officials and their business associates.Others led protests in major cities all over the world, picketing Nigerian embassies from New York to Beijing, pressuring world leaders to condemn the Nigerian government for overseeing the highest levels of corruption and corporate theft in Africa’s history. This was bearing fruit with the UN Secretary General calling for an unprecedented UN investigation into the country to determine if genocide was being carried out in north-eastern Nigeria by the military under the guise of flushing out terrorist extremists. And also to determine the scale of degradation and ecological damage that had been committed in the southern region of the country and the level of involvement of western oil companies in the inducement of government environmental agencies to look the other way while this damage was done.

Their lawyers initiated class action lawsuits in American and European courts against western companies who had collaborated with Nigerian government officials to fleece untold fortunes from a country whose general population languished in poverty. Several bankers, oil company executives and other business people had been convicted, and their companies disgraced and made to repay billions of dollars in damages and fines for massive environmental dilapidation of the Nigerian Niger Delta and refunds for kickbacks and all manner of illegal payments that they had received from Nigeria’s government. All such payments were held in trust by the Nelson Mandela Foundation for the Niger Delta people while the situation on the ground was being resolved.

It was safe to say that the task of governing Nigeria had suddenly become very difficult.

But perhaps the biggest bullet in the barrel for the rebel forces was their Leaders.
‘SOLIDARITY FOREVER, SOLIDARITY FOREVER, SOLIDARITY FOREVER. THE TRUTH IS MARCHING ON,’ Thundered Pastor Adefarasin, at the head of a mixed throng. A yuppie protester handed a wet rag to a red-eyed area-boy to soothe the effects of the tear-gas that the riot police had been spraying all morning. A high-brow Ibo banker lady was fiercely locked hand-in-hand with a young Yoruba girl who sold fresh peppers for a living; one used petrol for her generator, the other for her pepper grinder, both were incensed by the government’s decision to once again raise fuel prices.

Pastor Adeboye had almost been arrested twice for, in the words of the Inspector General of Police, ‘inciting his millions of zombie followers to ferment trouble and disrupt the public peace.’ The actual act of arrest proved easier to command than to carry out. Ranks of his church members formed a human shield between him and the policemen who came to take him away, a shield which was 200,000 men thick.

The Sultan who had reigned in Sokoto two days ago was now a political refugee in Saudi Arabia, 24 hours after publicly endorsing the government’s plan to hike fuel prices. In his place sat the former Emir of Zaria, having spent barely a year on his own throne in Zazzau he had been declared to be the new Sultan by throngs ranging from Zamfara to Taraba. In a highly unorthodox manner and hurried ceremony he was turbaned and immediately assumed control of a network of Emirs across the entire northern part of Nigeria, eventually commanding a group of Hausa/Fulani that was approximately 90 million strong. Systematically they had shut down every state government house and state assembly and taken over the residences of several individuals who were confirmed to be associates and fronts for corrupt government officials.
The Dogari, who traditionally served as personal guards of the Emirs, were drafted to head a newly formed pseudo police force. The regular police and army had suddenly remembered that they too would have to buy fuel at sky-high prices, this memory when combined with the sight of a united horde of millions of angry people convinced them to shed their uniforms, many of them joining the protests, eventually joining up with the Dogari squads, keeping the crowds orderly and making sure that the protests weren’t taken over by looters and criminals.

At the start of the protests Pastor Tunde Bakare had been arrested. On the recommendation of the leaders of the Christian Association of Nigeria as well as several government officials he had been taken by the SSS outside his church in Ikeja just after his regular Sunday service. He had smiled his familiar, slightly gap-toothed smile, flashed a V-for-victory salute and entered their Toyota jeep with blacked-out windows. He was released later that evening at the request of a very sick first lady; she had taken violently ill that same day.

Nigeria, the African giant that had proved over the past 5 decades to be full of docile, gullible and corruptible citizens in equal parts, was definitely showing a different side.

‘Ayo, Ayoooo’. The sickly first lady half coughed, half shouted.

‘Yes your excellency’, replied the immediate past president of the Christian Association of Nigeria.

Ayo Oritsejafor had been voted out of office and replaced by Matthew Kukah in a move that marked a beginning of the cleansing of the Association of Christian leaders. His retinue of scandals and improprieties had finally overwhelmed him, the latest being the court-ordered forfeiture of his private jet due to an accumulation of unpaid airport hangar charges.

‘I thought you said that this my head-aching will disappear away after your prayers. It is still aching me o! Or is it because they sacked you from that you people’s CAN that your prayers can no longer working.’

‘At all your excellency, just wait awhile, faith worketh by patience ma. And I was not sacked. That crafty Kukah conspired to rig the elections. We are appealing it ma.’

Blurted a sorry looking Ayo in response, his hair was disheveled and a bit greyer than usual but he was still able to interpret Her Excellency’s brand of English.

Meanwhile in the Federal Executive Council Chambers, the President was engaged in a heated argument with his Petroleum Minister.

‘Look Diezani, I never asked you to chop all the money that you have chopped. Haba! N5trillion in 2 years, that’s too much nau!’

Reuben Abati, the indefatigable presidential spokesman was quick to chirp in.

‘Sir the N5trillion was not just from Madam Madueke’s ministry. The ecological fund and NCC’s deals for spectrum auctioning are also included.’

‘Sharrap!! Abati, when I need my toilet flushed you will be informed.’ Screamed an enraged Diezani.

‘So Ebele, you want to me to take the fall. Everything I did was either for you or with your knowledge and now, because some stupid people are rioting you want to hang me out to dry. Well, if you think that I will go down alone then you’re dreaming sir, with all due respect.’
‘Everybody in this chamber has hands that are as dirty as mine; some are even dirtier; at least I have not blown any bomb anywhere.’
‘I have records of dealings and…’ casting a sideways glance at Dr. Goodluck, ‘…late night conversations.’

‘What!!! You mean you were recording us?’ a confounded president said.

‘ABATI! OKUPE! Take notes now. I will address the nation this night. Number one item on the agenda is the immediate sacking and prosecution of this…. Witch. Diezani Allison-Maduekwe.’

Diezani laughed out loud, ‘So you know my full name, I thought you only knew me as oh-oh-oh.’
‘Go ahead and address your mumu nation, but I promise that if you sack me today they will impeach you tomorrow.’

The chubby Ngozi Iwealla cut in. ‘Diezani you must be careful with your utterances. Such threats are ill advised.’

‘Shut up Ngozi.’ Said a minister who had her president by the balls.

‘You think this is IMF or World Bank meeting. You and Sanusi are as involved as I am.’
‘How did N5trillion disappear without both of you being aware? You think I don’t know of your schemes and middlemen? You better wake-up.’

WAKE UP……. WAKE UP……. WAKE UP……..

‘Wake up Ostroganamus!!! Why are you sleeping on duty?’

The demonic principality that oversaw the activities of Nigeria’s fake or irresponsible religious leaders towered over his subordinate who was charged with the oversight of its political class.

‘Sorry lord Astroganamus, but there is hardly any work to be done. Their leaders are buried deep in the belly of greed, pride and all manner of evil behavior. None show any signs of change, infact their imagination for theft and evil exceeds mine so all day long all I do is sit and observe them.’

Astro answered, ‘That is good, religious leaders are meant to guide and correct the political ones. But in a land as poor as this, it is easy to shut them up with little things like money, titles and private jets.’
‘The people are too broken, the pastors too blind and the government too fat. Death and corruption will rule this land for 100 years.’ Snorted the evil being.

‘Erm! Since you mentioned broken people and blind pastors, I had a bad dream lord Astroganamus, permit me to relay it.’

– by Rev’ Olooshun
@revolution_ng on twitter

Related Posts

Recent Posts

Mom Who Went Viral For Looking Just Like Her Daughters Shares Her Secret Beauty Tip

Last week, a photo of 35-year-old Tina Brown and her teen daughters Kyla and Kaylan completely dumbfounded the Internet. You see, Ms. Brown appears so ageless that people could not figure out which one of the three gorgeous ladies in the selfie was the mother. So what's the secret to her eternal youth? Does she wipe her face with an ice cube every morning, like Marilyn Monroe? Does she bathe in a tub of hot...

Olajumoke Gets Furnished Luxury Apartment In Lagos (PHOTOS)

The famous bread seller turned model now owns a luxury apartment in Lagos. Olajumoke Orisaguna’s remarkable story keeps getting amazing each day as a construction company offered her a furnished luxury apartment in Lagos and an enrollment into Poise finishing school.

Army Frees 275 Suspected Terrorists

The Nigerian Army has released 275 persons detained following suspicion of being involved in terrorist activities. Forty-nine out of the detainees are women while 22 are minors. Two Nigeriens and two Cameroonians are also among those released. Theatre Commander of the Operation Lafiya Dole, Major General Hassan Umaru, handed over the detainees not found culpable to the Borno State Governor, Kashim Shettima, in a ceremony at the 7th Division Headquarters Maimalari Barracks. “In line...

Zika Virus Persisted In Man’s Semen For 2 Months

A man in Britain who was infected with Zika while traveling to the Cook Islands showed evidence of the mosquito-borne virus in his semen for two months, health officials said Friday. The finding raises new questions for health authorities as they scramble to learn more about Zika — linked to a surge in birth defects in Brazil — and the risk of transmission through sex. The case involved a 68-year-old man who was infected with...

Saraki’s CCT Trial Begins March 10

Trial of the Senate President, Dr. Bukola Saraki, on 13 counts of false assets declaration is to resume March 10 before the Code of Conduct Tribunal. Our correspondent confirmed that the CCT ?issued hearing notices and served same on parties to the case on Friday. This followed a letter written on behalf of the Federal Government by the lead prosecuting counsel, Mr. Rotimi Jacobs (SAN), intimating the tribunal of the recent judgment of the Supreme...

This Woman Allegedly Vomits, Excretes 80 Wraps Of Cocaine At Abuja Airport

A 48 year-old woman caused a mild drama at the Nnamdi Azikiwe International Airport in Abuja after she allegedly vomitted 15 wraps of white, powdery substances that tested positive for cocaine. Saidat Hassan, a mother of three,? was arrested at the central screening section of the departure hall during the screening of passengers on an Egypt Airline flight to Jedda, Saudi Arabia, en-route Cairo. She was immediately apprehended by officers of the National Drug Law...

Possible Locations Of Chibok Girls Identified– Air Force

The Nigerian Air Force says it has been able to identify possible locations of the abducted Chibok girls. The Director of Public Relations at the Nigerian Air Force, Group Captain Ayodele Famuyiwa, said that the Air Force is abstaining from attacking the area to make sure that the girls are not hit. He explained that the latest aerial bombardment of Sambisa forest had been aimed at the logistics base of the Boko Haram sect and not areas...

Kwara Govt. Pays N2.4bn To Contractors Handling Road Projects

The Kwara Government says it has paid about N2.4billion to contractors handling over 35 road projects spread across the state. Alhaji Aro Yahaya, the State Commissioner for Works and Transport, stated this on Friday in Ilorin after inspecting some of the projects.   Yahaya said that the contractors were paid in order to fasten the completion of the projects before the commencement of the rains.   According to him, contractors handling road projects in llesha-gwanara, Share OkeOde, Offa-lra and Erinlle-llemona roads had earlier received...

NCC To Sanction Telecom Operators Who Defraud Nigerians Through Dropped Calls

Prof. Umar Danbatta, the Executive Vice-Chairman, Nigerian Communications Commissions (NCC), on Friday, said the Commission would sanction telecommunication operators who defraud Nigerians through dropped-calls.     Danbatta said this during a meeting with newsmen from the North West, North Central and FCT in Kano, where he presented the Commission’s eight-point agenda.     According to him, dropped-call rate is the fraction of the telephone calls which due to technical reasons, are cut off before the speaking parties finish their conversation.   This, he said, were being used...

Supreme Court Adduces Reasons For Wike, Ibikunle’s Return As Governors

The Supreme Court on Friday gave reasons while Nyesom Wike was affirmed as the validly elected governor of Rivers.   Justice Mohammad Mahmud, who presided, held that the Governorship Electoral Petition Tribunal that handled the case swayed INEC guideline on the use of card readers for the election.   The Chief Justice of Nigeria (CJN) also held that the tribunal also denied Wike fair hearing.   The Justice said: "While the court commends the introduction of card readers, the innovation, however, cannot supersede the voters...

Budget Defence: House Decries Uncompleted Projects In FCT

The House of Representatives Committee on the Federal Capital Territory (FCT), has decried the high number of uncompleted projects in the territory in spite of huge allocations for the projects.   Chairman of the Committee, Rep. Herman Hembe (APC -Benue) expressed his displeasure on Thursday in Abuja at the 2016 Priority Budget Defence of the FCT.   He listed the projects visited by the committee on oversight as: Gurara Falls Road, Lower Usman Dam, Vice President’s residence among others. Hembe expressed dissatisfaction at the...

Gov. Wike Suspends Commissioner For Finance, Accountant-General

Gov. Nyesom Wike of Rivers, on Friday, suspended the Commissioner for Finance and Accountant General of the State.   This is contained in a statement issued by Mr Simeon Nwakaudu, Special Assistant to the Governor (Electronic Media), in Port Harcourt.   It said that Dr Fred Kpakol, the commissioner and Sir Abere Dagogo, the Accountant General, had been suspended by the governor.   It said the suspension took immediate effect, but did not give any reason for the suspension of the two senior government officials.     (NAN)

Gov. Okowa Okays Establishment Of Modular Refineries In Delta

Gov. Ifeanyi Okowa of Delta on Friday approved the establishment of modular refineries in the state to create jobs for its teaming unemployed youths.     The governor announced the approval when Mr Isaac Wright, the Managing Director of Wright Global Group, and his team paid him a visit in Asaba.     Okowa said that establishing the refineries in the oil-rich riverine communities would place them close to source of their raw materials.   He said that apart from providing job opportunities for the people, the...

Plateau To Reduce Dependence On Federal Allocation – Lalong

Plateau governor, Mr Simon Lalong, says his state is already diversifying its economy in order to reduce dependence on allocation from Federation Account.   He made this known in Abuja on Friday at the All Progressives Congress Media Roundtable.   The governor said that development of the state was on course but said that it was gradual.   He appealed to Nigerians to be patient and give President Muhammadu Buhari’s administration at least a year for the change being yearned for to be felt.   "We know...

Tunisia To Get $560m EU Loan To Boost Economy

The European Union said on Friday it would give a loan of half a billion euros ($560 million) to boost Tunisia’s economy.   In a statement in Tunis, the union said the assistance was part of broader efforts by the EU to help Tunisia overcome the serious economic difficulties that beset it.   The EU said the assistance came at the request of Tunisia and would take the form of medium-term loans on favourable financial terms.   Few weeks ago, an unemployed man committed suicide...

President Buhari Welcomes Central African Support Against Boko Haram

President Muhammadu Buhari says his administration will partner the 11-member Economic Community of Central Africa States (ECCAS) to rid Nigeria and its neighbours of the menace of Boko Haram.   The president made the statement in Abuja on Friday when he received a message from President Obiang Mbasogo of Equatorial Guinea.   Buhari said he welcomed the effort to organise a joint meeting between ECCAS and the Economic Community of West African States (ECOWAS) with a view to coordinating their responses to the...

Lassa Fever Vaccine Trial In Nigeria Right – Expert

Prof. Dennis Agbonlahor, a member of the National Committee on the Control of Lassa fever, says the trials of newly developed Lassa virus vaccine in the country was a welcome idea. Agbonlahor said this while presenting a paper titled "Combating Lassa fever: A National Health Challenge", organised by the University of Benin on Friday in Benin. He said that the vaccine developed by a combined team from the U.S. Army Medical Research Institute for Infectious Diseases and the Public Health Agencies...

#PAUSIBILITY: Nigeria, Whirlpool of Executive Scoundrels and The Change That May Never Come by Adebayo Coker

I made a New Year resolution to try as much as possible not to burden myself with anything that may cause grief in whatever guise but my beloved nation wouldn’t stop throwing lumps of it my path. If you notice this will be my first post this year. I have tried to evade the many punches but I just couldn’t help it no more. Especially when Na’lie arrogantly...

INEC Adopts Simultaneous Accreditation, Voting In Plateau Rerun Polls

The Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC), has approved the use of simultaneous accreditation and voting for Feb. 20 supplementary and rerun elections for three state constituencies in Plateau.   The Head, Voter Education of INEC in Plateau, Mr Osaretin Imahiyereobo, said in a statement in Jos on Friday that the elections would hold in Langtang South, Pankshin North and Pankshin South.   In the statement, Imahiyereobo said the procedure would commence by 8a.m. and end at 2p.m.   "Only voters with valid Pemanent Voter Cards,...

HIV/AIDS: NACA Advise Nigerians To Play Safe On Valentine’s Day

Prof. John Idoko, Director-General, National Agency for the Control of AIDS (NACA), has advised Nigerians to love carefully and play safe as they celebrate the Valentine’s Day.   Idoko gave the advice in a statement made available to newsmen in Abuja on Friday.   It urged people to take full charge of their health by knowing their HIV/AIDS status and encouraging their partners to avoid risky behaviours that might expose them to the AIDS virus. "Besides the excitement of the Day, people of all...

Yabatech Expels 29 Students For Exam Malpractice, Fake Results

The Yaba College of Technology (YabaTech), Lagos, says it has expelled 29 students for presenting fake certificates.   Mrs Titilayo Obadimu, the Deputy Registrar (Academics), said on Friday in a statement that of the number, some were expelled for examination misconduct during the 2014/2015 first semester.   She said the academic board had approved the expulsion of the students.   According to Obadimu, using fake certificates to secure admission contravene the rules and regulations of the institution.   "The board considered the report on students with fake...