Dream of a Revolution – by Rev’ Olooshun @revolution_ng

Published:29 Nov, 2012

Dream of a Revolution – by Rev’ Olooshun @revolution_ng

It was February 28, the 28th day of the riot, or the Nigerian Revolution as the international news agencies were calling it. Local news channels knew better however; licenses of several media houses had been revoked, their offices vandalized by gun-toting soldiers, computers seized, editors arrested. All for daring to portray the month-long, sometimes bloody, nation-wide

riots as anything other than an ordinary public disturbance sponsored by opposition political parties and carried out by their thugs, whom the government, through relevant security agencies, would soon round up and bring to book.In truth it was anything but ordinary. The rebels were extremely organized and highly motivated, split into various groups, with a major component operating from outside the country, members of Nigeria’s gigantic diaspora community. Their tech experts had hacked into the email accounts, computers, databases and websites of virtually every major government agency, discovering secret memos and documents detailing shady dealings between government officials at the highest levels and their local and foreign collaborators, these documents had been emailed to major global news outlets and anti-corruption agencies and civil society groups. They also targeted bank accounts of corrupt government officials and their private partners who were more often than not, mere fronts for all manner of financial crime. Large chunks of the money there was spirited into special accounts which went to fund the operations on the ground, aiding the coordination and equipping of millions of young and old, poor and not-so-poor citizens as they battled federal police and soldiers as well as vigilante groups formed by die-hard pro-government citizens, made up mostly of family and friends of government officials and their business associates.Others led protests in major cities all over the world, picketing Nigerian embassies from New York to Beijing, pressuring world leaders to condemn the Nigerian government for overseeing the highest levels of corruption and corporate theft in Africa’s history. This was bearing fruit with the UN Secretary General calling for an unprecedented UN investigation into the country to determine if genocide was being carried out in north-eastern Nigeria by the military under the guise of flushing out terrorist extremists. And also to determine the scale of degradation and ecological damage that had been committed in the southern region of the country and the level of involvement of western oil companies in the inducement of government environmental agencies to look the other way while this damage was done.

Their lawyers initiated class action lawsuits in American and European courts against western companies who had collaborated with Nigerian government officials to fleece untold fortunes from a country whose general population languished in poverty. Several bankers, oil company executives and other business people had been convicted, and their companies disgraced and made to repay billions of dollars in damages and fines for massive environmental dilapidation of the Nigerian Niger Delta and refunds for kickbacks and all manner of illegal payments that they had received from Nigeria’s government. All such payments were held in trust by the Nelson Mandela Foundation for the Niger Delta people while the situation on the ground was being resolved.

It was safe to say that the task of governing Nigeria had suddenly become very difficult.

But perhaps the biggest bullet in the barrel for the rebel forces was their Leaders.
‘SOLIDARITY FOREVER, SOLIDARITY FOREVER, SOLIDARITY FOREVER. THE TRUTH IS MARCHING ON,’ Thundered Pastor Adefarasin, at the head of a mixed throng. A yuppie protester handed a wet rag to a red-eyed area-boy to soothe the effects of the tear-gas that the riot police had been spraying all morning. A high-brow Ibo banker lady was fiercely locked hand-in-hand with a young Yoruba girl who sold fresh peppers for a living; one used petrol for her generator, the other for her pepper grinder, both were incensed by the government’s decision to once again raise fuel prices.

Pastor Adeboye had almost been arrested twice for, in the words of the Inspector General of Police, ‘inciting his millions of zombie followers to ferment trouble and disrupt the public peace.’ The actual act of arrest proved easier to command than to carry out. Ranks of his church members formed a human shield between him and the policemen who came to take him away, a shield which was 200,000 men thick.

The Sultan who had reigned in Sokoto two days ago was now a political refugee in Saudi Arabia, 24 hours after publicly endorsing the government’s plan to hike fuel prices. In his place sat the former Emir of Zaria, having spent barely a year on his own throne in Zazzau he had been declared to be the new Sultan by throngs ranging from Zamfara to Taraba. In a highly unorthodox manner and hurried ceremony he was turbaned and immediately assumed control of a network of Emirs across the entire northern part of Nigeria, eventually commanding a group of Hausa/Fulani that was approximately 90 million strong. Systematically they had shut down every state government house and state assembly and taken over the residences of several individuals who were confirmed to be associates and fronts for corrupt government officials.
The Dogari, who traditionally served as personal guards of the Emirs, were drafted to head a newly formed pseudo police force. The regular police and army had suddenly remembered that they too would have to buy fuel at sky-high prices, this memory when combined with the sight of a united horde of millions of angry people convinced them to shed their uniforms, many of them joining the protests, eventually joining up with the Dogari squads, keeping the crowds orderly and making sure that the protests weren’t taken over by looters and criminals.

At the start of the protests Pastor Tunde Bakare had been arrested. On the recommendation of the leaders of the Christian Association of Nigeria as well as several government officials he had been taken by the SSS outside his church in Ikeja just after his regular Sunday service. He had smiled his familiar, slightly gap-toothed smile, flashed a V-for-victory salute and entered their Toyota jeep with blacked-out windows. He was released later that evening at the request of a very sick first lady; she had taken violently ill that same day.

Nigeria, the African giant that had proved over the past 5 decades to be full of docile, gullible and corruptible citizens in equal parts, was definitely showing a different side.

‘Ayo, Ayoooo’. The sickly first lady half coughed, half shouted.

‘Yes your excellency’, replied the immediate past president of the Christian Association of Nigeria.

Ayo Oritsejafor had been voted out of office and replaced by Matthew Kukah in a move that marked a beginning of the cleansing of the Association of Christian leaders. His retinue of scandals and improprieties had finally overwhelmed him, the latest being the court-ordered forfeiture of his private jet due to an accumulation of unpaid airport hangar charges.

‘I thought you said that this my head-aching will disappear away after your prayers. It is still aching me o! Or is it because they sacked you from that you people’s CAN that your prayers can no longer working.’

‘At all your excellency, just wait awhile, faith worketh by patience ma. And I was not sacked. That crafty Kukah conspired to rig the elections. We are appealing it ma.’

Blurted a sorry looking Ayo in response, his hair was disheveled and a bit greyer than usual but he was still able to interpret Her Excellency’s brand of English.

Meanwhile in the Federal Executive Council Chambers, the President was engaged in a heated argument with his Petroleum Minister.

‘Look Diezani, I never asked you to chop all the money that you have chopped. Haba! N5trillion in 2 years, that’s too much nau!’

Reuben Abati, the indefatigable presidential spokesman was quick to chirp in.

‘Sir the N5trillion was not just from Madam Madueke’s ministry. The ecological fund and NCC’s deals for spectrum auctioning are also included.’

‘Sharrap!! Abati, when I need my toilet flushed you will be informed.’ Screamed an enraged Diezani.

‘So Ebele, you want to me to take the fall. Everything I did was either for you or with your knowledge and now, because some stupid people are rioting you want to hang me out to dry. Well, if you think that I will go down alone then you’re dreaming sir, with all due respect.’
‘Everybody in this chamber has hands that are as dirty as mine; some are even dirtier; at least I have not blown any bomb anywhere.’
‘I have records of dealings and…’ casting a sideways glance at Dr. Goodluck, ‘…late night conversations.’

‘What!!! You mean you were recording us?’ a confounded president said.

‘ABATI! OKUPE! Take notes now. I will address the nation this night. Number one item on the agenda is the immediate sacking and prosecution of this…. Witch. Diezani Allison-Maduekwe.’

Diezani laughed out loud, ‘So you know my full name, I thought you only knew me as oh-oh-oh.’
‘Go ahead and address your mumu nation, but I promise that if you sack me today they will impeach you tomorrow.’

The chubby Ngozi Iwealla cut in. ‘Diezani you must be careful with your utterances. Such threats are ill advised.’

‘Shut up Ngozi.’ Said a minister who had her president by the balls.

‘You think this is IMF or World Bank meeting. You and Sanusi are as involved as I am.’
‘How did N5trillion disappear without both of you being aware? You think I don’t know of your schemes and middlemen? You better wake-up.’

WAKE UP……. WAKE UP……. WAKE UP……..

‘Wake up Ostroganamus!!! Why are you sleeping on duty?’

The demonic principality that oversaw the activities of Nigeria’s fake or irresponsible religious leaders towered over his subordinate who was charged with the oversight of its political class.

‘Sorry lord Astroganamus, but there is hardly any work to be done. Their leaders are buried deep in the belly of greed, pride and all manner of evil behavior. None show any signs of change, infact their imagination for theft and evil exceeds mine so all day long all I do is sit and observe them.’

Astro answered, ‘That is good, religious leaders are meant to guide and correct the political ones. But in a land as poor as this, it is easy to shut them up with little things like money, titles and private jets.’
‘The people are too broken, the pastors too blind and the government too fat. Death and corruption will rule this land for 100 years.’ Snorted the evil being.

‘Erm! Since you mentioned broken people and blind pastors, I had a bad dream lord Astroganamus, permit me to relay it.’

– by Rev’ Olooshun
@revolution_ng on twitter

Related Posts

Recent Posts

End of Boko Haram in sight, Buhari assures international community

President Muhammadu Buhari on Tuesday in Dakar, Senegal, assured the international community that the end of Boko Haram terrorists was in sight. The President gave the assurance at the meeting of a panel of heads of states at the 3rd Dakar International Forum on Peace and Security in Africa. In a statement issued by his Senior Special Assistant on Media and Publicity, Garba Shehu, on Tuesday in Abuja, the President also assured the international community that the security situation in Nigeria had...

FLASH: FG sends bill seeking establishment of special anti-corruption courts to NASS

The Federal Government have sent to the National Assembly, a bill seeking the establishment of a special anti-corruption court to try serious crimes, including corruption cases.   The Special Crimes Bill 2016 was drafted by the Prof. Itse Sagay-led Presidential Advisory Committee Against Corruption.   The proposed court will exclusively handle corruption cases and other cases including narcotic, human trafficking, kidnapping, cybercrime, money laundering and other related offences.   Details of this bill and more will be passed on as it unfolds...

Super Falcons’ defender undergoes surgery.

Super Falcons defender, Onome Ebi, has undergone a successful surgery on her broken arm suffered during the just concluded Africa Women’s Cup of Nations in Cameroon.   The surgery was conducted on Tuesday at the National Hospital in Abuja.   Ebi, who is one of the veterans in the Super Falcons team that won a record eight African title last weekend, gave glory to God for the successful operation carried out on her.

Lawyers disagree with Kaduna govt. labelling Shiite IMN “insurgent group”

Nigerian lawyers have expressed divergent views on the legality of the action by the Kaduna State government designating the Shiite group, IMN, an “insurgent group.” While one of the lawyers who spoke in interviews with PREMIUM TIMES said the declaration was constitutional, others said it was not. The Kaduna State government in a White Paper released on Monday said “for all intent and purpose, the IMN is an insurgent group and ought to be treated as such.” The government also vowed to...

After UN report, 12 Osun communities renounce female circumcision

Efforts at eradicating the female genital mutilation, FGM, in Osun received a boost on Tuesday as 12 communities across four local governments declared their intentions to completely stop the practice. The declaration was made at the Female Mutilation Abandonment Declaration Ceremony organised by the Shericare Foundation, SCARF, an initiative of the wife of the governor, Sherifat Aregbesola. The communities that declared against FMG include Eko Ende, Eko Ajala, Iba, Asa, Iwo Oke, Ajagunlase, Alapata, Owode, Araromi in Ifelodun, Olaoluwa, Ede North and Orolu...

FUNERALS: Throwing a Lavish Party for the Dead, By Okey Ndibe

Regardless of the festering economic crisis in the country, regardless of the hordes of unemployed youngsters in the country, regardless of the thinning hope and burgeoning despair in the land—some people have figured that the most sensible thing to do is stage contests for the most gaudy, expensive and spectacular funeral. I have said this before: one of the hardest tasks is to predict how Nigerians would react in any given situation. We are a perplexing bunch, able to defy...

Husband chops off his own penis after his wife wouldn’t have sex with him.

A sexually frustrated husband, who claims his wife had not slept with him in a decade, has taken matters into his own hands in a bizarre manner. Ghasi Ram, 37, from India, cut off his own penis after losing his cool. He had come home drunk and started pestering his wife Manjhri Devi, 34, for sex.

There Are No Indigenes In Kaduna- El Rufai

The Governor of Kaduna State, Mallam Nasir el-Rufai has retweeted a tweet that quoted him as saying Kaduna state does not have indigenes. The post which was made by Bello El-Rufai which he attributed to the Governor reads: "We have no indigenes or settlers in Kaduna. Anyone that adds to our development is a citizen.  "Indigenes" don't like it." https://twitter.com/B_ELRUFAI/status/806156246898319360?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw Credit: dailytrust

FG Secures EU’s Commitment on Rebuilding of North East, Niger Delta

The European Union (EU) on Monday pledged its support for the ongoing efforts of the Federal Government to rebuild some parts of the North East and Niger Delta regions by earmarking 20 million Euros for the reconstruction of markets and warehouses in Borno and Delta States. The EU Ambassador to Nigeria, Mr. Michael Arrion, who gave the pledge during a visit to the Minister of Finance, Mrs. Kemi Adeosun in her office, said the funds would...

Two Arraigned Over False Information To Police

Two accused persons, Patrick  Onomhante -54, and Dickson Ugoche – 52, have been arraigned before a Lagos State Magistrate Court sitting in Ikeja for allegedly giving false information to the police. They appeared before  Magistrate B. O.Osunsanmi  on a three-count charge of  conspiracy, false accusation,  false statement to a public officer and given false information to the police . The accused were docked for allegedly making false accusation against, Paul Njoku, who was charged with...

Senate Grills NCC, Telecom Operator Over Data Price Hike

The Nigeria Communications Commission (NCC) Tuesday said that it intervened with an interim price floor for data services to avert a looming price war in the telecommunications sector. The explanation of the NCC is coming even as the Minister of Communications, Mr. Adebayo Shittu, asked Nigerians to face reality. The regulatory commission said that it feared that the price war could eventually lead to a monopoly in the telecom industry that would force small operators...

Aisha Buhari, Magu To Kick-off Women Against Corruption Campaign

The Economic and Financial Crimes Commission, EFCC, will tomorrow,  flag off the Nigerian Women Against Corruption, WAC, project, at the International Conference Center, Abuja with the aim of engaging women across the country in a nationwide sustainable fight against corruption. According to the acting chairman of the EFCC, Ibrahim Magu, the epoch-making event, which is in collaboration with the office of the wife of the President would be flagged...

Mugabe Appeals For Calm Amid Economic Crisis

Zimbabwe President Robert Mugabe has appealed for calm as his government battles to contain a debilitating economic crisis. The 92-year-old president appeared frail but jovial, struggling with his lines a bit as he delivered a 30-minute State of the Nation address on Tuesday. He praised the country's security forces for maintaining order, although critics accuse them of using violence to stifle dissent. This once prosperous but now economically struggling southern...

Police Arrest Man Who Supplies Herdsmen Arms

The police in Enugu have arrested a man who allegedly supplies AK-47 rifle to herdsmen. The suspect, one Alhaji Samaila Garuba, alias Bakassi, who is from Shagari village in Sokoto State, was arrested in the 9th Mile area of Enugu on Tuesday morning. Spokesman for the Enugu State Police Command, Mr. Ebere Amaraizu, who disclosed this, said a herdsman, Ibrahim Adamu, who was arrested with an AK-47 in the Udi area of Enugu on August...

15 Year Old Charged with Beheading His Classmate in Gruesome Murder

A 15-year-old in Lawrence, Massachusetts has been arrested and charged for the murder of his high school classmate, whose decapitated body was found by the Merrimack River north of Boston last week. On Saturday, Mathew Borges was charged with murdering and decapitating 16-year-old Lee Manuel Viloria-Paulino, who first went missing on Nov. 18 after he left his grandmother's house but never returned home. "It's shocking, it's heartbreaking," Lawrence Police Chief James Fitzpatrick...

KKK Holds Parade To Celebrate Trump’s Win

The Ku Klux Klan held a pathetic parade to celebrate the election of Donald Trump in North Carolina on Saturday. The hate group's "parade" was originally to be held in Pelham but was moved one county over to Roxboro because of protestors. The Burlington Times-News reports that the KKK rally had a full police escort. State troopers blocked intersections while 30 vehicles drove around the town. The...

Dangote Sacks 109 Workers

The Dangote Group has dismissed 109 workers at Obajana Cement Company in Kogi State, after being found guilty of various offences, Abdulahi Magaji has said. Mr. Magaji, the coordinator of the company’s Patrol Team, announced this to journalists on Tuesday at the Obajana premises of the company. He said that the dismissed workers were among the 244 suspects arrested between May and November. According to him, they include erring drivers, owners of illegal haulage,...

Stop Making Expensive Demands from me, Buhari tells Nigerians

President Muhammadu Buhari on Tuesday asked Nigerian elite to stop making what he called expensive demands from his administration because things would no longer be done in the old way. He warned them to stop insisting that things should be done the old way which impoverished the nation. The President spoke during a meeting he had with a group of Nigerians in the Diaspora, on the margins of the 3rd Dakar International Forum on Peace and Security in...

Moremi Ojudu, Hope Betrayed And The Fury Of History By Rotimi Opeyeoluwa

The Holy Book claims that it is a dangerous thing for a human conscience to become seared. In such an occurrence, the conscience which is supposed to be an inbuilt moral-compass to help navigate between good and evil is compromised. When the human conscience is seared then all evil is tolerable and good is assaulted by unreasoning and that is what is currently playing out in Nigeria of today. During the last circle of electioneering in Nigeria and within...

2019: God Will Give PDP 2nd Chance- Bode George

Former deputy national chairman of the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP), Chief Olabode George has expressed hope that God and Nigerians will give the erstwhile ruling party another opportunity to rule the country, again, in 2019. George said this, yesterday, at his Ikoyi, Lagos office, when he hosted the South-West zonal executive of the party, led by Eddy Olafeso, which paid him a working visit. George premised his declaration on what he called the poor performance of the All Progressives...

Allegations Of Corruption In The Justice Delivery Sector: Implications For Rule Of Law & Democracy By Femi Falana

Introduction  For the past three decades, I have been involved in the struggle against human rights violations, corrupt practices and abuse of powers by certain principalities in Enugu State. In the 1980s I was here to defend the late Chima Ubani and other leaders of the student union of the University of Nigeria, Nsukka when they were expelled on grounds of political extremism. I also defended them when they were later charged before a Special Military Tribunal which sat at Enugu. In the 1990s I was equally here to launch...