#BlognessWednesday: The End of Mr. Warrior – by @SagaySagay

Published:21 Nov, 2012

#BlognessWednesday: The End of Mr. Warrior – by @SagaySagay

A hot slap landed on Amarachi’s cheek and her eyes saw stars. She was still trying to make out the stars that seemed to be dropping from the sky, when an uppercut blow caught her jaw. What she didn’t realize was that the man who delivered the blow had watched his childhood hero, Iron Mike Tyson, give dirty, nasty and horrible uppercuts to Frank Bruno in their March 1996 fight that came to an end at Round 3.

What Adigun didn’t realize was that Bruno nevertheless earned 3.5 Million Pounds for receiving those terrible blows that took him to a psychiatric home. Amarachi had nothing to gain but pain.

Amarachi’s pain was mixed with shock as it was the first time Adigun would beat her – since they got married. There were few incidents when they were dating but nothing more than a slap here, a punch there or a pull at her hair to get a confession from her. She believed Adigun’s violent tendencies would come to an end after wedding but she had been proved wrong only after 3 month into their marriage.

On this particular night, Amarachi had had the guts and effrontery to change channels on TV while he was watching a Premiership game of Manchester United.

“Honey, please there’s this movie on Africa Magic that I want to watch. I watched Part 1 yesterday and they ended with suspense. Jim Iyke was about to slap Genevieve when it ended. I need to know if he will indeed slap her.”

“What’s my business if someone wants to slap somebody? Abeg commot make I see match.

Amarachi picked the remote control and went ahead to change the channel. The movie had already started and as Amarachi mentioned, Jim Iyke had raised his hand to land his trademark slap. The slap was to be delivered in (Nollywood) slow motion and Jim Iyke’s hand was just coming down when Adigun struck.

His slap shook Amarachi’s head and her neck turned with a snap. The tremor sent through her body threw away the remote control in her right hand.

“Yeeeeeeee!” She cried out in pain. Her cry must have invited the uppercut blows that came after.

“You will kill me today o. You must kill me today” She cried as she held on to his new white Man U jersey.

When the beating was getting too much, she changed her mind by running for her life as the door was luckily opened.

Adigun picked the remote to change the TV back to SuperSport to check the Man U game.

“Oooooooooooo, this is a contender for the goal of the season” the commentator screamed as a goal was scored against Manchester United.

“Amara, you are dead!!!” He shouted as he ran out of the house to find her.

******************

Amara was lucky to have escaped alive, and refused to return home. Her family members came to pack her belongings some weeks after.

Zainab moved in instead.

Their courtship was not for too long but Adigun was the most romantic man she had ever met. Their marriage, a low-key one, was about seven months after Amara left.  Adigun vowed never to beat a woman again but he also prayed not to come across a woman that would make him lose his temper again.

Two months into the wedding, Adigun found out that his prayer was not answered. Zainab returned from a dinner she attended in the company of colleagues at work and her outfit would make any man turn his head – a gown which stopped at a point not anywhere close to her knees. What Adigun found provocative was her bosom as it appeared her boobs were going to escape from their restraints with each step she took. Adigun had not been home when she left.

“Zainab, why on earth would a married woman leave her matrimonial home like this?” He shouted angrily as she walked in.

“Darling, I’m coming from the dinner I told you about”

“What yeye dinner? You are nothing but a slut! A whore! Asewo oshi! Just look at yourself”

“But what exactly is wrong with my outfit. Can you just be reasonable? And why do I deserve this insult from you Adigun?” She stated, walking up to him.

“What I do not get is why you are coming home after some idiots must have fucked your brains off.”

“I will not take that insult from you, Adigun. What do you mean by that nonsense?”

At this point, Adigun was sure he was going to beat her up if he didn’t calm down. He walked out and returned only after tempers had dropped.

Zainab, who was yet to undress, bent to pick something on the floor as Adigun entered.

Her bum-bum was a sight to behold.

“This is just so beautiful” he muttered to himself and he moved close to her.

She was picking some CD’s on the floor when she was suddenly grabbed from behind. His belt had already been unfastened and he was hard as rock.

“Let go of me, Adigun! I’m not in the mood” She warned.

“Shey you are still angry ni? Ma binu sweetie”

“See, I’m not in the mood”

She shoved him away and Adigun lost his temper.

“How will you turn me on and tell me that you are not in the mood?”

Konji was already in control. Konji is indeed a bastard.

A slap to her face opened proceedings and his trademark uppercut blows followed. She tried to bite him but a blow caught her mouth; 3 teeth lost their position in her mouth in the process.

She started screaming and it took the intervention of the neighbours to rescue her from Adigun who had totally lost control of his senses.

She was hospitalized.

She felt so much shame as she must have been almost naked when neighbours came in. Her gown was in tatters before then. The only reason she was crying was that no man would have molested or beaten her if her dad was alive.

Itu Baba Ita’s escapades were so legendary that the Late Gbenga Adeboye had to make a series from them – that was her dad.

He once whipped a school principal and a teacher on the Assembly ground because Zainab’s brother was beaten in school. He had so many thugs and jazz with which he terrorized their part of Lagos.

The defunct Operation Sweep of Lagos will never forget the day some officers attacked his petrol station. Itu Baba had them do what they were meant to do. They swept his premises all day. Jazz at work.

The thoughts of how Itu Baba could have dealt with Adigun made tears to rush down her cheeks.

****************************************

Adigun could still not understand why women find it hard to be submissive to their husbands. When his own father talked, his mom dared not talk with him let alone argue with him.

Her mom once received beating because his dad called her twice before she responded. He even had a horse-whip specially acquired to beat their mom. It was different from the one used to beat Adigun and his younger ones.

Some months after Zainab, he met Patience at a cousin’s wedding. It couldn’t have been anything but love at first sight because she moved into his house two months after.

Adigun eventually discovered all women were the same two weeks after. Patience went out without informing him.

He returned from work to discover she wasn’t home. When he called her number, she didn’t pick. When she eventually returned, he demanded why she would leave home without telling him about her movement.

“I’m sorry dear. I didn’t know I’d be going out. I had to meet a friend who came into Lagos from Abuja this morning”

“Why then did you decide not to pick my calls?”

“My phone was on silent na. I didn’t even know you were calling.”

“Do you know you are a fool? You slut!”

“Adigun, never, I repeat, never in your life call me a fool, a slut or any such word”

Adigun was shocked.

“Does this babe know that I went through the Short-Service course of Nigerian Army?” He said in his mind.

His story with the Nigerian Army was very short. He had the dream of becoming a Soldier but couldn’t withstand the rigorous drills. Two months into the six-month program, he ran away from the parade ground.

But almost a Soldier, is always a Soldier.

Here he was with a woman who had the guts to even confront him. He slapped her across the face. It was hot.

His Mike-Tyson trademark uppercut was coming but Patience blocked it.

Adigun never knew that Patience actually won Gold medal for Edo State at the National Sports Festival in Karate. She only relocated to Lagos State after she was given a life ban in the sport as a result of a doping offence.

Adigun never believed it when Steven Seagal broke people’s hands in movies. He always argued it was impossible for humans to move their hands so fast while fighting whenever he watched Jet Li. Bruce Lee was nothing but an exaggeration. Patience showed him all these actors were real. She landed  him several kicks on very dangerous spots and he was on the ground within minutes.

When the argument started, he had locked the door. That was the mistake of his life.

He was already covered in blood and it didn’t appear Patience was going to be patient with the kicks and blows.

Adigun swallowed his pride, though doing so was very sour. He called for help.

E gba mi o ara adugbo! Please help me!”

“You dey mad? Who you think say I be?” Patience asked as she continued beating him.

“Patience will kill me o! She has killed me o! Help! Somebody help!” he kept crying out loud.

All the neighbours in the compound were already at the door but they couldn’t gain entrance.

After a lot of effort, they were able to break down the door. It took four men to take Adigun from Patience’s grab. So much blood was already lost. Not so many teeth – only 4.

As soon as help arrived, there was no longer the need to cry for help. He dozed off.

LUTH brought him back to life.

He left his disdain for women in that long dream because that was the last time he ever shouted at, argued with, abused or beat a woman.

____________________________________________________________________________

I am @SagaySagay on twitter. I blog on www.SagaySagay.com

This piece was inspired by @Seunfakze ‘s article titled MARITAL BLISS OR BS?

  • nini

    I loved ??†?? ‘itu baba ita’ twist… Actually made M????? ??laugh out loud, not heard that in a long time.

  • Looool! Adigun oni blow Meji. Very fine funny touches!

  • Oyebisia

    He deserved what he got. Wish all woman can learn martial arts. He will teach those men beating their women to be careful or loose 4 teeth.:)

  • Kayode

    My laughter was uncontrollable in some parts of this. Hahahahahahaha. Nice.

  • Zsmiles

    He deservs much mor dan dat, imagine! He tink say him be super dee. Lol, cant stop laughing, sagay na u try pass.

  • Olanrewaju

    alapomeji has been defeated. Kudos !

  • Larrytop

    Never under estimate the power of a woman. Sagay baba, yoU r too much joor….but guys go dey fear woman now oooh, cos you don’t know wat to expect.

  • kikelomo

    And Sikiru of Oniru was a follower of Itu Baba Ita! He who beats a woman, gets beaten eventually.

  • Kenny

    Lovely one, lesson to those who derive joy in beating women.

  • Clement Udegbe

    Domestic violence is bad, evil, godless, and despicable as the worst form of abuse of the pride,self worth and humanity of by one to another.It leaves wounds that produce various bad reactions and responses from the victims ranging from fear, apprehension,lying, crime, to hatred.Hate is the highest form of reprehenssion in life.What you hate you do not want,cannot stand, cannot condone, tolorate or accept.Demestic violence is the easiest route to creating hate and hatred in society.It is an abuse to the sanctity of the family the smallest unit of society.I do not know about the Quaran, but I am sure that that the Bible strongly opposes and denounces domestic violence.Domestic violence was not recorded from Genesis to Revelation in the Bible.Domestic violence is disobedience and rebellion to and against God.Society must denounce it, and follow the Preachers in Churches.Let the one with bad temper, learn and know that ‘anger dwells in the hearts of fools’ declares the Bible.Fools are fools, and if you run into one your only way out is to drag him to church and ask the Priest to pray with your spouce out of foolishnes!If he does not change, get the Police involved through a good level headed Lawyer, who hates domestic violence with a passion.Your oppressing partner will learn to be wise thereafter.Send him to jail before he damages you, and same for all sexes.

  • michael

    Good piece. Mr. Warrior: lessons clearly learnt. May be he deserved even more than that.

  • Prince

    wot a man can do,a woman can do better.

  • Maria

    I understand what the writer is trying to do here, but in all honesty, rape and domestic violence are heinous crimes against women that demean, debase, destroy and demoralize women into becoming insecure, unstable and subdued members of society, hurt, broken and damaged. I feel that any attempt at humor in such a setting is not only in bad taste, but tends to reduce the intensity, the ugliness and the sheer devastation domestic violence causes. Maybe my sense of humor isn’t that good, but seriously, let’s not joke about such a serious issue as this.

  • Truly Maria your sense of humour isn’t only bad, it is equally poor. The writer never attempted to justify violence, the reason it ended badly for Adigun. Meanwhile it was a dream, learn to live maybe you will enjoy life a bit more. You are too uptight and I dare say you will be a terrible company and will pick holes and make issue out of everything. Learn to live instead of merely existing. Sagay, I dey gbadun you jare.

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