I AM NOT MY HAIR #opesays

Published:17 Aug, 2012

Gabby Douglas

Yes and I mean that literally. I am not my hair. All my life, my hair has been one part of my body I’m not proud of. Growing up, I realized that my hair was not as long as my friends’ or as shiny, silky or smooth. That brown unusual colour of it didn’t help matters. It made me so self-conscious .You can still see me in my childhood pictures touching my hair self-consciously (I still do it till this day). The weird texture of it didn’t help matters. My hair is that type of hair that gets hair stylists curious. It’s as soft as cotton wool and sometimes as hard as cement. No relaxer ever fully relaxes it. It’s as full as a thick forest yet refuses to grow long.

All my hair needs for a handful of it to come off , is just a simple comb. Few of my friends or family members have seen my real hair. It has always been drowned in weaves, attachments, dye…you name it.  Just like my hair, most of us have this part of our body that we are self-conscious about. It may be your face, your ‘assets’, your height, your weight, your arms or legs. The media doesn’t even help matters. They have filled our minds with their own idea of what beauty should be. The media even dictates what you should weigh. You know that size zero, stick-thin model image they have fed us with, those abs like all the sexy guys on TV.

Most human beings, including you and I ,have some of our self-esteem hung on up how we look. We forget that we actually didn’t create ourselves and we need not burden ourselves with worry, about what we can’t change. After all , who’ll remember if you were beautiful when you lie in your coffin ? You’ll be free the day you realize that your body is just a cloak you’ve donned to complete your earthly assignment. Once you cross the veil between life and death, it loses its usefulness, so you discard it.  Now it is true that people , the world over love beauty, especially men. We would even readily carry a cute baby, before the not-so-cute one.  The singer, Adele comes to mind. When she was told to lose weight, she said, “I don’t make music for eyes, I make music for ears”. Her reply was that of someone who knew what they had to offer, and didn’t let the world’s view of their body interfere with that.

What can you do when a part of your body does not conform to the world’s rigid standards ? First play to your strengths. Realize what you do have and know for a fact that someone out there will love you for it. After all not all of us can be Beyonce and not all of us can be tall, dark and handsome. For instance,  I am personally not  crazy about tall men. Secondly, if you still feel self-conscious about that not-so-good part, do something about it , if you can. Go on that diet, start exercising, use skin products, to make it better.

When the world realizes you have something to offer, they forget how you look. I love Adele till tomorrow and I’ll continue to listen to her music even if she grows fatter. If you have something the world desperately needs, how you look doesn’t factor into the equation anymore, except you’re a model. The gymnast who shined for America at the just concluded Olympics, Gabby Douglas , isn’t the prettiest of girls; but she has what America needs. I can say for a fact that if Beyonce wasn’t as beautiful or as sexy, she’ll still be one of the best performers in the world. It’s simple, she knows her art and has polished it to perfection.

Next time someone tries to bring you down because of that not-so-good part of your physical appearance, tell them “I am not my hair” (Fill in your own).Yeah , that’s right. You are more than your face, your height, your lack of ‘assets’ or your weight. You’re a spirit being, a higher power. The very essence of greatness. You are here for a reason and that purpose is more than your physical appearance. Go touch your world .

Peace

Opemipo Adebanjo

@opesays on Twitter.

This is a weekly column that runs every Friday. It is called #opesays. Join me to talk about issues that matter from motivation to love to politics to religion to life itself.

  • Good piece.

    Much more defines you!…not just your hair!

  • True , good essay. However , I must disagree a little , Physical Apperance will always be an important factor in judging ones’s character. I cannot see your inside or “essence” , thus, the only way I can make an accurate guess of what you have within you is what I can ONLY see outside, your outward appearance, “out of the abundance of the heart a man speaks” likewise “out of the abundance of the heart, a person dresses (hair styles included). The way you look outwardly is unwittingly part of your inner essence.
    Nevertheless, great read.

  • I think the important thing is how one feels on the inside, that is why confident ugly men get very good looking wives (I won’t give examples).

    Also, remember the sons of Jesse in the bible. Only David had kingly material on the inside.

  • Ope,this is really the missing link in our assesment of ourselves.Talent stands you out in the midst of people,think about Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder,okay they are Americans but what about our own Cobhams Asuquo.A single thread that connects them all is that they’re all blind but are global celebrities by virtue of the depth of musical talents they’ve deployed in building careers that have projected them into ICONS for the WORLD and particularly Youths.Go and take your world. @princedavidokon says so.

  • Seye

    Not much to say again, you’ve done justice to this topic. Anything I may add will just lengthen the already concise piece. Bless

  • Beauty like they say is in the eye if the beholder. There are always two kinds of problem in lfe; d one you can’t do anything about and d one you can do sth about. Nobody can make us feel less about ourselves without our permission. If you don’t appreciate yourself in totality, don’t expect others to appreciate you in totality. There’s a big difference betw you and everybody…be proud of that…cos there’s no one in the world that is exactly like you(looks, behaviour and talents)…flaunt what u’ve got.

  • Beauty, like they say is in the eye if the beholder. There are always two kinds of problem in lfe; d one you can’t do anything about and d one you can do sth about. Nobody can make us feel less about ourselves without our permission. If you don’t appreciate yourself in totality, don’t expect others to appreciate you in totality. There’s a big difference betw you and everybody…be proud of that…cos there’s no one in the world that is exactly like you(looks, behaviour and talents)…flaunt what u’ve got.

  • ibrahim Amina Ilamosi

    God bless you Ope for this piece….. Nothing else to say…

  • What if Gabby Douglas and/or Adele were to enter for Miss World Contest?
    What if Michael Jackson had taken to boxing and Muhammed Ali to music?

    The philosopher calls it the sixth toe. That lil something in our body put there by nature to remind us of the imperfection of our humanity the moments we start to think of ourselves as gods. We all have it; the gain of those who recognise theirs early and play to their strengths, the bane of those who get fixated on becoming someolne else to the point of misery.

    Nobody is perfect, at least body-wise.

    Justice done to the subject, good piece. Thumbs up.

  • Thank you Bukky.I couldn’t have concluded the article in a better way than you have. I agree totally.Those imperfections are there to remind us that we are not gods.We are human

  • As usually @opesays has put together something on one of the most inspirational teenagers in the world. The message is key and straight forward identify ur strengths and build on them. Regards darling!

  • Olukoga Mosun

    Any who needs my PHYSICAL APPEARANCE to judge my ‘essence’ is just not someone I want around me for the long haul. I am who God made me and says I am! Period!

  • we all have our imperfections and they begin to matter when we have not developed our self worth.

    We are ‘wonderfully’ made in HIS image.
    Barriers, constraints, deficiencies cease to matter when we believe in ourselves and understand our purpose in life.

    Great piece Ope! As always

  • Cynthia

    You are right onthis one ope.a lot of folks have a lot of hang ups on how they look or should look when all that’s really important is How one sees one’s self on the inside.this article will help a lot of people out there still struggling with their physical looks and inner insecurities.We all Have Our Strengths and Should Develop it.

  • Very true article. I liked the way you wrote it. The only thing I’d add is that some people tend to take this ‘I am not my hair’ phrase to the extreme. The fact that we were all born with differences does not mean we should not take care of those differences. A big person might make a claim like, “I am naturally big, why exercise.” However, this person is forgetting the fact that the way we appear is a mix of both genetics and our environment/choices (e.g exercising is a choice made by people who want to be healthy, it’s choice not affected by genetics). Being thick-boned is different from being fat, and people need to know the difference. Ps: I love my natural hair and I flaunt it. Haven’t used relaxers since 2008. 🙂

  • you dont have to conform, conformism is dictatorship, there are no absolute in the ways we must,may, or might look, this media spurned standard is a marketing tool actively directed towards people who have inherent low self esteem, just be different and be yourself.

  • Jamjam

    Nice write up, Ope. I have always been tall and willowy when growing up and used to pray to God not to add an inch more! Big mistake (thank God that prayr was not answered). Now I work in the midst of guys and have more subordinates than supervisors. Having it tough enough with my stature, not to imagine if I were ‘pocket sized’ or even ‘average’. Lesson: a seeming hang-up that I now use to my advantage! I love me, whichever way. Everyone should! Peace.

  • maky

    True talk Ope. “I am not my hair”.

  • long long time ago, i used to be intimidated about my looks and imperfections but as i grew older and found more purpose than my physical looks i almost ignore my looks but also we should learn to embrace ourselves. its the most important factor in having people want OR embrace us. be M’ADE

  • Koffy

    Beauty is in the eye of its beholder. I say this because Gabby Douglas is pretty to me. That said, great article. If we want others to love us, we should love ourselves first. I’d say the confidence with which one carries himself can give an illusion of beauty. Confidence is the new sexy! This scripture helps me “Give me d serenity to accept d things I cnt change, strength to change the ones I can and wisdom to know d difference”.

  • So not really on the same topic as your post, but I found this today and I just cant resist sharing. Mrs. Agathe’s dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman. Since she had to go to work the next day, she told him, “I’ll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I’ll mail you the check. Oh, and by the waydon’t worry about my Doberman. He won’t bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT under ANY circumstances talk to my parrot!” When the repairman arrived at Mrs. Agathe’s apartment the next day, he discovered the biggest and meanest looking Doberman he had ever seen. But just as she had said, the dog simply laid there on the carpet, watching the repairman go about his business. However, the whole time the parrot drove him nuts with his incessant cursing, yelling and name-calling. Finally the repairman couldn’t contain himself any longer and yelled, “Shut up, you stupid ugly bird!” To which the parrot replied, “Get him, Spike!”

  • Naughty transha ha hauals like the ones you create about deserves all of our attentions and some much more submit from you !

  • Handjob Play

  • It seems to me that this site doesnt load on an iPhone. Is anyone else having the same problem? I love this site and dont want to miss reading it when Im away from my computer.

  • The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on therange.Three weeks later, a cow walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy couldnt believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of tows mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, Its a miracle!Not really, said the cow. Your name is written inside the cover.

  • I do think diferrent because my friends and family use another model.Its pleasant and i love its very much.But next Helath Care Products I am going to think of this as vacuum that you present.Grate!!!

  • Definitely a questionable l ist.Equally Aol and Nickelodeon do notdeserve to become in the ideal redesigns,in my opinion.Amount one redesign would have to be the City of Melbourne logo.

  • Hey i Have three words COOL AWESOME Mind BLowing

  • I thought that was really interesting. Thanks for the unusual post. Ill keep checking back on this.

  • Be it a stand alone vallve o? bespoke equipment f?r
    ? customers ?articular application, ?t has built up an enviable reputation as a global supplier of high-quality, reliable solenoiud valves t?
    a wide range ?f customers aross ? multitude
    of industries. T?ere are few items required t? be prrepared to face the ?roblem bravely:
    . Forbes Marshall’s Steam Valves range includes
    Piston Valves, Control valves, Isolation Valves ?nd Safety and Relief Valves , Angle Pattern Single Stage annd
    Multi Stage Bloow ?own Valves.

    Also visit mmy web-site :: hydraulics

Related Posts

Recent Posts

Edo 2016: Of Afemailand, Its Politics And Legacies by Daniel Afekhume

A video emerged last week where a dispassionate President Obama was telling the Black Community that it will be a "Personal Insult" to himself and Michelle if blacks don’t come out in their numbers to vote Hillary Clinton. His argument was that Trump was coming to destroy his "legacies" and by extension that of African-Americans. In the same light, I wish to state the Edo Governorship election of Sept 28th is one for either the preservation or destruction of the...

Boko Haram Leader Shekau Mentally Ill – Army

The Nigerian Army has described the embattled leader of Boko Haram, Abubakar Shekau, as mentally ill following the release of the latest video in which the terror group leader denied claims made by the army that he was seriously injured. “The video has shown beyond all reasonable doubt the earlier suspicion that the purported factional terrorist group leader is mentally sick and unstable,” the spokesman for the Nigerian Army, Sani Usman, said in a statement on...

Ambode Seeks Stronger Tie With Judiciary

The Governor of Lagos State, Akinwunmi Ambode, has called for the continuation of the cordial relationship and peace, which he said exists between the judiciary and the executive arm of government in Lagos State. The governor, who described the judiciary as the last hope of the citizens, also admonished the Chief Judge of the state, Justice Oluwafunmilayo Atilade, and the rest of the judges to continue to dispense justice with the fear of God. Ambode...

Edo guber: IGP Idris orders restriction of movement

The Inspector-General of Police, Ibrahim Idris, has ordered restriction of movement during Wednesday’s governorship election in Edo State. He also ordered the activation of the revised operation plan for the election. The operation plan, according to a statement issued in Abuja on Monday by the Force Spokesman, Don Awunah, is expected to guarantee free, fair and credible election, secure electoral process, enable eligible voters exercise their franchise freely and voluntary, protect election materials and officials and ensure adequate security before, during...

No amount of intimidation will stop our reconstruction efforts — Shettima

Governor Kashim Shettima of Borno on Monday said he was going ahead with the planned rebuilding of damaged buildings in spite of recent attacks by Boko Haram insurgents in some parts of the state. Shettima stated this while interacting with newsmen in Bama, headquarters of Bama Local Government Area of the state. He was reacting to the recent attacks by insurgents at the border villages of Logumani and Dara/Jamal, where an army officer and two soldiers were killed. The governor, who relocated...

Despite recession, Dangote vows to scale up investments in Nigeria, Africa

In recognition of his immense contribution to human capital development in Africa through the establishment of businesses across the African continent, a United States of America-based Organization, Africa-America Institute (AAI) has honoured the President of Dangote Group, Aliko Dangote, with the “2016 African Business Leader Award.” The business guru was named and presented the award at a colourful ceremony held on the side-line of the United Nations Congress held in New York city, United States alongside other prominent Africans like...

Boko Haram: You have not seen the worst – Shekau

The leader of Boko Haram has mocked claims he was seriously injured by the Nigerian military and warned “you have not seen the worst yet”. In a video posted on social media, Abubakar Shekau dismissed claims by the Nigerian air force that he had been seriously wounded in a raid, telling them: “I will not get killed until my time comes”. The leader of the Islamist militant group also taunted parents of the kidnapped Chibok schoolgirls, telling them their children would...

Lagos begins enforcement of Ikoyi, Victoria Island clean-up

Four weeks after issuing public notices and ultimatum, the Lagos State Special Task Force on the Clean-Up of Ikoyi, Victoria Island over the weekend started the clearing of all illegal structures and shanties. The Clean-Up operation team which was led by the Chairman of the Task Force on Environmental and Special Offences, Supol Yinka Egbeyemi, commenced simultaneously in Ikoyi and Victoria Island at 8am on Saturday and has continued on Sunday morning. It featured the removal of kiosks, sheds by the...

Únity Schools Old Students’ Association (USOSA) Announces Date And Theme For 2016 Annual General Meeting

The Unity Schools Old Students' Association (USOSA) has announced November 4th and 5th as dates for its 2016 annual general meeting. According to details released by the organising committee, the annual general meeting is scheduled to hold by 10am on 4th November with a dinner set for the following day by 4pm. The theme for the 2016 annual general meeting is Education, National Unity & Security. The event will hold at Lekki Coliseum, Lekki Phase 1, Lagos.

Labour threaten to shutdown Nigeria over planned national assets sale

Oil workers, under the aegis of the Petroleum and Natural Gas Senior Staff Association of Nigeria, have threatened to shut down the country should the Federal Government carry out its plan to sell national assets to augment revenue shortfall. Also, the Trade Union Congress on Sunday said it would join PENGASSAN to shut down the country if the government remained adamant on its plan to sell some national assets. PENGASSAN, in a statement on Sunday by its National Public Relations Officer,...

NAF explores agriculture to empower barracks youths

Nigerian military is not left out in the nation’s search for a solution to the economic recession the oil-rich nation slid into few weeks ago, as the Chief of Air Staff, Air Marshal Sadique Abubakar, is exploring agriculture to empower youths in barracks. He is confident that further involvement of youths in agriculture will deepen the economic diversification drive of the government. Nigeria is battling to get out of its present economic recession made obvious when the National Bureau of Statistics...

Stop terrorising Zimbabweans or we’ll impeach you – Church leaders tell Mugabe

He’s not as well-known as protest pastor Evan Mawarire. But this Zimbabwe church leader’s brave plea to President Robert Mugabe to stop terrorising protesters or face impeachment may attract the attention of the authorities. Already questioned by police and arrested at least once during the past few months, Bishop Ancelimo Magaya is one of five Zimbabwe church men who this weekend penned an open letter to the 92-year-old Mugabe asking him to “stop unleashing terror on citizens for expressing genuine...

Insane Shekau must release Chibok girls unconditionally – Army

The Nigerian Army has described the controversial factional leader of Boko Haram terrorists, as mentally ill and unstable person whose end is near, despite issuing threats in the latest video. The Director of Army Public Relations (DAPR), Col. Sani Usman, in a statement yesterday, said the video clip is a mere propaganda and sign of desperation for a man who was reported to have been “Fatally wounded” in military air strike. “The attention of the Nigerian Army has been drawn to...

NESREA warns against cutting of trees without replacement

The State Coordinator of National Environmental Standards & Regulations Enforcement Agency (NESREA) in Kwara, Mr. Martins Enenwaene, has warned that cutting of trees without replacement leads to ecological imbalance. Enenwaene gave the warning while speaking with the News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) Ilorin on Monday. He said that massive deforestation contributed to the destruction of properties by heavy storm. The NESREA boss said the state had faced different flood cases which were later traced to not having enough trees. Enenwaene said that, “NESREA...

Lungu Lied at UN Summit – Ex-Zambian Leader Scott

Former Zambian president Guy Scott has criticised President Edgar Lungu over the remarks he made during the recently ended United Nations summit in New York. Lungu told the UN 71st summit last week that Africa did not need any strong leaders but strong institutions, adding that his country endeavoured to build a peaceful, just and inclusive society “through the consolidation” of power. Lungu described Zambia as a democracy with an inclusive society where its people enjoyed many freedoms. “The importance of democracy...

BREAKING: Judge Withdraws From Nnamdi Kanu’s Trial

John Tsoho, the judge handling Nnamdi Kanu’s trial, has returned the case file to Ibrahim Auta, chief justice of federal high court, for reassignment. This was sequel to an application by the legal team of Kanu led by Chuks Muoma, claiming that the court was biased in its handling of the matter. “We are only asking the court to hands off; my client has lost confidence in this court,” he said. He claimed that the court was acting in line with the...

Minister Denies Spending N3.4bn On “Change Begins With Me” Campaign

The Minister of Information and Culture, Alhaji Lai Mohammed, has demanded a retraction of libelous publications by the Daily Independent newspaper, Omo Bazuaye and Akin Fadeyi over “Change Begins With Me” campaign. The minister made the demand in letters written to the newspaper, Bazuaye and Fadeyi by Falana & Falana’s Chamber, a law firm of a renown civil right activist and lawyer, Femi Falana. The letters dated Sept. 19 and signed by a lawyer Oludare...

Patience Jonathan To Drag EFCC Before West African Court

Former first lady, Mrs Patience Ibifaka Jonathan has concluded plans to drag the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) to the African Commission of Human and Peoples Right in Gambia. Sources close to the legal team said they took the decision to seek legal redress in a court free from manipulation. Already a new group, The Rebranded Indigenous People of Biafra (TRIPOB) has thrown its weight behind the decision to drag the EFCC before the African Commission of Human and Peopless...

Rihanna Named Global Ambassador for Childhood Education

Rihanna is “Work”-ing on education. The global superstar’s Clara Lionel Foundation has partnered up with Global Partnership for Education and Global Citizen on a multi-year initiative to support education across the world. Through this push, Rihanna hopes to advocate for more than a quarter of a billion children who are not currently in school as well as about 330 million students who aren’t learning in the schools they’re in.

3 People You Should Never Take Relationship Advice From (MUST READ)

1. Anyone who is angry and bitter Was your best friend a jilted bride or a groom who was stood up at the altar? Don’t ask friends or family with a chip on their shoulder how to win at love. If you hang around them long enough, their attitude could rub off on you. Then no one will want to date you because you have such a bad attitude. Don’t let someone else’s bad experiences warp...

The 1 Thing Happy Couples Do Every Day

Happy couples communicate with each other. Constant communication seems so obvious, but it can easily slip through the cracks. In order to keep your relationship healthy and happy, there's three things you need to do to communicate successfully. 1. Express your needs and feelings. There's no way for your partner to know what you want out of your relationship if you don't say so. Make sure to clearly express how you are feeling —...