Thank God it’s Friday. I hope you had a lovely week. This time on #opesays, we’ll be talking about that familiar topic, sex. So I beg you to please, lay aside all your religious convictions for a minute and hear me out. Think through everything I say and take the one you feel is beneficial and discard the ones you think useless. That said, sex remains the fire that plagues the world of man. You and I have felt it…that tingle,  that ache for someone else; call it lust if you will.

For me, when a great man says he is sexually attracted to me, I see it as an honour. Why ? Because a man is only attracted to that which is a reflection of his innermost self. That in essence ,tells me I’m a great woman. This theory holds true for every human being; you’re only attracted to a person who is a mirror of yourself. “Your body will always follow the ultimate logic of your deepest convictions .”-Ayn Rand. It can truly be no other way. Once you find yourself attracted to someone sexually, do not despise it, do not question it. You are that person and that person is you.

This is why a man who is confident in his own value, will always look for a great woman. Why ? Because she is harder to conquer, and that gives him a sense of achievement. Getting her will boost his self-esteem. For ease of reference, let’s call this the Conqueror Syndrome. For instance, I once had a discussion with a friend about the Helicopter Move.  I heard this term first from another friend’s article. The move is actually a sexual position where the man is on top and the woman is under him with her two legs spread wide apart (just like the helicopter blades).My friend had this to say about the move; “It makes me feel powerful, if I’m on top of a woman like that; especially one who was hard to get”.

In Church, I cringe when the Pastor , keeps saying “Wives submit to your husbands”. Now we all know they mean submit,  as in defer or respect. This Bible verse has been hammered on severally, with the Pastors leaving out the other meaning the Bible referred to. What is this other meaning ? Sexual submission. That was what Apostle Paul meant when he said this. It also goes further to say, “Husbands love your wives”. Does this refer only to the emotional love ? Of course not. It also means sexual love. So I ask, why don’t Christian men and Pastors hammer on the latter sentence ? That’s a topic for another day. The Conqueror Syndrome of sex is the same reason why good girls love bad boys or playboys. It gives us women a sense of achievement once we get that man that is notoriously hard to get. It shows you have conquered where others failed. With the Conqueror Syndrome , we all want to feel we got the best out there, the best person we could find.

Mind is always linked to the body, you cannot separate both. In the same way, you cannot separate sex from love. This ideal is a fraud, shun it. When you separate sexual attraction from emotional love, it is a disaster waiting to happen. This is why love brings you nothing but boredom, and sexual attraction brings you feelings of guilt and shame. Love in its purest form consists of these; 1. A sexual attraction for the person in question .2. Emotional love for the person and 3. The Conqueror Syndrome. If your love does not contain all these, it is a sham. Next time before you condemn your sexual attraction, do think about this; you will be only attracted to that which is a mirror of your innermost self. That said, have a wonderful weekend.


DISCLAIMER– You may be sexually attracted to someone, but that doesn’t mean you must always act on it .What separates man from beast is our ability to hold back on our urges.Enough said

*You can read the article about the helicopter move here >>>> Confessions Of A Lagos Pervert

Opemipo Adebanjo

@opesays on Twitter

This is a weekly column that runs every Friday. It is called #opesays. Join me to talk about issues that matter from motivation to love to politics to religion to life itself.

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  • The very first time I’m reading an article by @opesays [on @omojuwa ‘s blog] so full of Bullshit!

    Laughed a bit though!

  • ………… will be only attracted to that which is a mirror of your innermost self! Now I have to screen my attractions and see myself

  • Gbamest.That’s just it

  • Huh ?

  • Olasunkanmi

    All ur words re realities. Its in us all but pple tend 2 play saints whenever issues like ds re bn spoken off. Ope! U re on point.

  • Terrible article. Not well thought out. All over the place. Laughable assumptions. Men are easy to get. How does a woman feel pride getting a man to sleep with her? Sex is as common as a handshake and your friend feels like a conqueror when he is a helicopter? He has some pretty low goals. He should get a helicopter, then feel like a conqueror.

  • A man is only attracted to that which is a reflection of his innermost self?where do you get this stuff?I guess lots of men have hookers in their ‘innermost self’. men are attracted to most gals. How he controls that is what makes him a man.

  • The only mystery of sex is why people make a big deal out of it. It can cost as low as N200-and I am really not trying to be vulgar here neither am I tryna be biblical when I say when you save yourself, you are more sexually satisfied. Like everything, over doing it makes you bored. Players know this. After the novelty wears off, they feel empty like drug addicts keep screwing in a vain attempt to recapture the feeling of that ‘first high’.

  • This article was only written to make sense for the wise and deciphering. Anyways on playboys -They are people with the lowest self-esteem and they only keep sleeping with women to boost their self-esteem.Of course that never happens and they only feel my empty.Playboys are the most thoughtless airheads in the world.
    The man who despises himself tries to gain self-esteem from sexual adventures, which can’t be done, because sex is not the cause, but an effect and expression of man’s sense of value.

  • @duen your comments are ‘all over the place ‘ .Can’t make any sense out of them. 🙂

  • Hmmm! “Whoever you’re attracted to is a reflection of your inner self.” Point Noted. 🙂

  • @ope yeh. I had a well written opinion, I clicked submit and it disappeared! Had to break it down into itty bitty pieces. Thought it’d be easier for you to chew. 🙂 Much better comment but your article was poor. You are attracted to a reflection of ur innermost self?well, I am a guy. And if it’s strictly for sex,and your article is titled the mystery of sex, I am sexually attracted to lots of women. Mainly gals that are slim, even though I am a lil bit on the big side- hey, you like what you like. Now, if it is for a relationship, I am attracted to a reflection of my innermost self. I will agree with that. You don’t however make this clear in ur article. The only great minds will decipher this line is a cop out. I will say you set women back a coupla years with your article but that would be overly dramatic. It was just a poor article and I think articles that are written with the intention to shock and not enlightenment added as an an after thought usually are.

  • Seun Ige

    As man and in my dealings with them,I have come to a conclusion; that our intellectual capacity varies, and so is the usage.This is general knowlege though. And this has also been corroborated by the comments I see on here.

  • Great job> pls i heve an info for you. pls can i ve ur email address? (

  • OMG! Iamrollingonthefloorlaughing!
    “and your friend feels like a conqueror when he is a helicopter? He has some pretty low goals. He should get a helicopter, then feel like a conqueror.”

    Such sarcasm!

  • kofo

    I agree with Duen on this one and this is really funny “and your friend feels like a conqueror when he is a helicopter? He has some pretty low goals. He should get a helicopter, then feel like a conqueror.”