25 real, hard and dirty truths about me ~ @omojuwa

Published:7 Jul, 2012

I decided to publish this after several months of hoarding it because I feel my friends should know more about me especially as time and distance won’t let us share as much as we would love to. If you hate me more because of my past I wouldn’t be bothered,if you love me more because of my present I’d be glad but I know one thing without any iota of doubt,you can’t be indifferent to me after this,you will choose a divide.i didn’t pay attention to poetic beauty when I set out to write this so don’t be disappointed by a lack of it considering what you may have been used to from my end.it’s life and it has it all and you sure will find it some in here. let’s go…

1. I am constantly in competition and in battle with myself, sometimes it could be depressing, most times it brings about excellent results but it means pressure. it’s my way of life and I am Japheth…Japheth Omojuwa. I used to write in magazines as Bola Japheth and being me is my way of life. it is the only way I can live.

2. I started sex before I started any formal school. i didn’t know anything about it ,I only played along with an apparently possessed older girl. At 18 I had become a veteran, now when most of my peers are just getting to live and love it, I am retired, sort of.

3. I was born with a silver spoon but I didn’t even have a wooden spoon growing up. that’s a long story and this is not an autobiography.

4. During my early years of elementary school I had a phobia for stepping in front of the class to speak and I was fortunate enough not to be called to share any of those and-so-the-tortoise-did-this-and-that-stories. the teachers assumed too much about me. i used to pronounce ‘cheat’ as ‘shit’ .Today, everyone who has heard me speak believes I am an extraordinary orator, I believe them too.*smiles*

5. Apart from the Divine, everything I am great at has been as a result of my friends, experiences and my urge to always know and be better. i hate ignorance, the reality of not knowing makes me feel empty..

6. I was obsessed with the 1st position in class cos my dad was always on my neck telling how I needed to improve even when I came home with seemingly perfect results. By SSS1 I had stopped delivering my results cos he assumed too much and I discovered other interests. i lost the 1st position but I found myself in a perfect situation, the road to versatility and boundless discoveries.

7. Years ago, a girl left me for an older, richer folk. i acted heartbroken she didn’t budge, I shed some seemingly genuine crocodile tears she didn’t blink then I convinced her to visit me at a private home. Seeing SAT,TOEFL and American-like papers on my staged table I told her my plans to get us both to study abroad and that day we played from the compound to the sitting room, bedroom and the whole house. i left her after a one month, non stop hard play. i needed to gain weight and then to concentrate on other relationships. she was heart broken but I didn’t notice. i was long gone. I feel guilty about that now but then it was like winning the World cup,the feeling was euphoric.

8. I have never been heart broken cos I always second guessed my relationships. i was always in another one before she even gets to make up her mind. it is like in football, some managers buy replacements before selling those surplus to requirements a la Real Madrid galacticos 2. while I don’t do the second guessing thing again (it takes lotta thinking and there’s more to think about), I’ll never be told by a girl ‘I’m not interested again’, or whatever it is they say, it’s demeaning I think.

9. I love books, shoes and wristwatches. if I don’t have the original and the best of those I don’t use. i’m not wearing any wristwatches at the moment cos the ones I want I cant pay for, so I’d rather wait. As for the books ,it’s my way of making up for studying in Nigeria. Any Nigerian student who depends on what s/he is thought in school is living in the dark age .Give me a hundred thousand naira and sixty will go for books at every point in time. the investment is paying off.

10. I’ve got 7 friends irrespective of what they say or do in future will always be loved by me,2 are in the U.S.,2in the U.K. and 3 in Nigeria.2 are female and one of them is in U.K. One of the males was born after a set of twins even though he doesn’t answer the ‘Idowu’ name. Some new angels are knocking on that divine part of me but there’s always a telling moment for induction and they’ve not had theirs.

11. I love to solve problems. it’s what I live for, it’s why I breathe, it’s who I am. The most important personal problem I solved us that of learninig to forgive every wrong no matter what. try it, you’ll see and feel a new you. it’s about the best gift you can give yourself.

12. Someone kept my SAT results away so I wouldn’t travel. I had a scholarship score but I only saw my results 9 months after admission. I was heartbroken but saying it now means I’ve gotten over it.

13. If I have all the money I am being owed and paid for all the services and values I have rendered , I will be running a major cable tv show by now. God hasn’t given up o n me so I will someday.

14. I was born with loads of pride and arrogance and attending king’s college lagos made it worse (there’s something about KC boys and pride,it goes with the territory and thank God others are now used to it or are they?)but today I’m described more as humble than arrogant. that took a lot of work and self chastisement.

15. I won’t need any DNA tests to prove my paternity cos any child that doesn’t look like me, male or female isn’t mine. my blood is utterly dominant. did I mention I’ve not taken ill for over 15years.some miracle,thank God.

16. I am one of those exclusive 3% class of cholerics but my ability to switch temperaments means I can write this piece as a choleric.

17. I am a shy person but no one has ever believed this. I am truly ordinarily shy until that guy in me sees the need for action.

18. Yeah I think of myself like it’s someone else. it’s the reason I have evolved over the years.

19. I love water and besides the divine, it’s my little tip for healthy living,plus a readiness to be thankful for every good deed and forgiveness of not so good ones.

20. I don’t cry after mistakes because I learn a lot from them. i slap myself when I repeat the same mistake.

21. I always have things I need when I need them and most of the time it’s always a friend of mine offering them.

22. I love it when I am being told how to improve my personality by a caring friend.

23. I love phoneversations. i love them especially when it’s with someone I truly care for.

24. I love God and He matters in every of my decision, I love to laugh no matter what and I love people.

25. we’ll leave this bit till 3rd October when this number will be significant.

Thanks for reading thru my boring self but that’s just 5% of who I am. If you are let in into my whole self you’ll lose every belief of impossibilities you have left in you.. Man is always after something if something isn’t after him. I have discovered my purpose for living and I am joyous and happy about it. Money is important and I don’t have any of it right now, but I’ll bask in the euphoria of living a purposeful life knowing that money like death will come as it is inevitable, save that money will come 85years before death. I am still on site with who I am, it is still an unfinished project. I hope it was worth the time. Thank you for reading. How is my story?

*I published this in my Facebook notes July 2009 – that’s 3 years ago. This has been copied and pasted unedited. I have grown in leaps since then but the fundamentals are still the same. If you like judge me, that’s your head ache :-)*

  • aderonke

    Let me add the 26th,u don’t like d “sir” or “Mr” when ur bn addressed,no? lol. Glad I knw alil bout you 🙂

  • jay

    I can’t deny buh, 2 say u r really an inspiration 2 most of us, at dis ur young age u already no who u are n wat u want in life while older folks r still tinkin of wat dey r meant 2 be In life, I appreciate d fact dat am in d same generation with u, buh please don’t ever make me regret dis fact. Ges 25 octobr is ur bday, if it is gon wish u a very haappy day. God bleSs ur hussle, life ur family n ur dream 4 Nigeria

  • alausa olakunle

    Nice piece. Good to know I ve some of your qualities. Not a wasted time reading through it

  • I must confess this is very inspiring! Just wondering if you have ever had a baby? Or why are you so so sure your “blood is utterly dominant”? If your wife has equally dominant blood, and you have a baby that isnt your replica as expected, what do you do? Just on a lighter note though!
    Fantastic piece….

  • 28, October 3

  • Was actually laughing reading through this. Welldone dear. We are all work in progress and we shall be made a finsihed product.

  • I hv been readin lots of ur work bt hv never been oportuned to knw ur background. I agree with most of the things U believe in. Kip up the gud job.

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