25 real, hard and dirty truths about me ~ @omojuwa

Published:7 Jul, 2012

I decided to publish this after several months of hoarding it because I feel my friends should know more about me especially as time and distance won’t let us share as much as we would love to. If you hate me more because of my past I wouldn’t be bothered,if you love me more because of my present I’d be glad but I know one thing without any iota of doubt,you can’t be indifferent to me after this,you will choose a divide.i didn’t pay attention to poetic beauty when I set out to write this so don’t be disappointed by a lack of it considering what you may have been used to from my end.it’s life and it has it all and you sure will find it some in here. let’s go…

1. I am constantly in competition and in battle with myself, sometimes it could be depressing, most times it brings about excellent results but it means pressure. it’s my way of life and I am Japheth…Japheth Omojuwa. I used to write in magazines as Bola Japheth and being me is my way of life. it is the only way I can live.

2. I started sex before I started any formal school. i didn’t know anything about it ,I only played along with an apparently possessed older girl. At 18 I had become a veteran, now when most of my peers are just getting to live and love it, I am retired, sort of.

3. I was born with a silver spoon but I didn’t even have a wooden spoon growing up. that’s a long story and this is not an autobiography.

4. During my early years of elementary school I had a phobia for stepping in front of the class to speak and I was fortunate enough not to be called to share any of those and-so-the-tortoise-did-this-and-that-stories. the teachers assumed too much about me. i used to pronounce ‘cheat’ as ‘shit’ .Today, everyone who has heard me speak believes I am an extraordinary orator, I believe them too.*smiles*

5. Apart from the Divine, everything I am great at has been as a result of my friends, experiences and my urge to always know and be better. i hate ignorance, the reality of not knowing makes me feel empty..

6. I was obsessed with the 1st position in class cos my dad was always on my neck telling how I needed to improve even when I came home with seemingly perfect results. By SSS1 I had stopped delivering my results cos he assumed too much and I discovered other interests. i lost the 1st position but I found myself in a perfect situation, the road to versatility and boundless discoveries.

7. Years ago, a girl left me for an older, richer folk. i acted heartbroken she didn’t budge, I shed some seemingly genuine crocodile tears she didn’t blink then I convinced her to visit me at a private home. Seeing SAT,TOEFL and American-like papers on my staged table I told her my plans to get us both to study abroad and that day we played from the compound to the sitting room, bedroom and the whole house. i left her after a one month, non stop hard play. i needed to gain weight and then to concentrate on other relationships. she was heart broken but I didn’t notice. i was long gone. I feel guilty about that now but then it was like winning the World cup,the feeling was euphoric.

8. I have never been heart broken cos I always second guessed my relationships. i was always in another one before she even gets to make up her mind. it is like in football, some managers buy replacements before selling those surplus to requirements a la Real Madrid galacticos 2. while I don’t do the second guessing thing again (it takes lotta thinking and there’s more to think about), I’ll never be told by a girl ‘I’m not interested again’, or whatever it is they say, it’s demeaning I think.

9. I love books, shoes and wristwatches. if I don’t have the original and the best of those I don’t use. i’m not wearing any wristwatches at the moment cos the ones I want I cant pay for, so I’d rather wait. As for the books ,it’s my way of making up for studying in Nigeria. Any Nigerian student who depends on what s/he is thought in school is living in the dark age .Give me a hundred thousand naira and sixty will go for books at every point in time. the investment is paying off.

10. I’ve got 7 friends irrespective of what they say or do in future will always be loved by me,2 are in the U.S.,2in the U.K. and 3 in Nigeria.2 are female and one of them is in U.K. One of the males was born after a set of twins even though he doesn’t answer the ‘Idowu’ name. Some new angels are knocking on that divine part of me but there’s always a telling moment for induction and they’ve not had theirs.

11. I love to solve problems. it’s what I live for, it’s why I breathe, it’s who I am. The most important personal problem I solved us that of learninig to forgive every wrong no matter what. try it, you’ll see and feel a new you. it’s about the best gift you can give yourself.

12. Someone kept my SAT results away so I wouldn’t travel. I had a scholarship score but I only saw my results 9 months after admission. I was heartbroken but saying it now means I’ve gotten over it.

13. If I have all the money I am being owed and paid for all the services and values I have rendered , I will be running a major cable tv show by now. God hasn’t given up o n me so I will someday.

14. I was born with loads of pride and arrogance and attending king’s college lagos made it worse (there’s something about KC boys and pride,it goes with the territory and thank God others are now used to it or are they?)but today I’m described more as humble than arrogant. that took a lot of work and self chastisement.

15. I won’t need any DNA tests to prove my paternity cos any child that doesn’t look like me, male or female isn’t mine. my blood is utterly dominant. did I mention I’ve not taken ill for over 15years.some miracle,thank God.

16. I am one of those exclusive 3% class of cholerics but my ability to switch temperaments means I can write this piece as a choleric.

17. I am a shy person but no one has ever believed this. I am truly ordinarily shy until that guy in me sees the need for action.

18. Yeah I think of myself like it’s someone else. it’s the reason I have evolved over the years.

19. I love water and besides the divine, it’s my little tip for healthy living,plus a readiness to be thankful for every good deed and forgiveness of not so good ones.

20. I don’t cry after mistakes because I learn a lot from them. i slap myself when I repeat the same mistake.

21. I always have things I need when I need them and most of the time it’s always a friend of mine offering them.

22. I love it when I am being told how to improve my personality by a caring friend.

23. I love phoneversations. i love them especially when it’s with someone I truly care for.

24. I love God and He matters in every of my decision, I love to laugh no matter what and I love people.

25. we’ll leave this bit till 3rd October when this number will be significant.

Thanks for reading thru my boring self but that’s just 5% of who I am. If you are let in into my whole self you’ll lose every belief of impossibilities you have left in you.. Man is always after something if something isn’t after him. I have discovered my purpose for living and I am joyous and happy about it. Money is important and I don’t have any of it right now, but I’ll bask in the euphoria of living a purposeful life knowing that money like death will come as it is inevitable, save that money will come 85years before death. I am still on site with who I am, it is still an unfinished project. I hope it was worth the time. Thank you for reading. How is my story?

*I published this in my Facebook notes July 2009 – that’s 3 years ago. This has been copied and pasted unedited. I have grown in leaps since then but the fundamentals are still the same. If you like judge me, that’s your head ache :-)*

  • aderonke

    Let me add the 26th,u don’t like d “sir” or “Mr” when ur bn addressed,no? lol. Glad I knw alil bout you :)

  • jay

    I can’t deny buh, 2 say u r really an inspiration 2 most of us, at dis ur young age u already no who u are n wat u want in life while older folks r still tinkin of wat dey r meant 2 be In life, I appreciate d fact dat am in d same generation with u, buh please don’t ever make me regret dis fact. Ges 25 octobr is ur bday, if it is gon wish u a very haappy day. God bleSs ur hussle, life ur family n ur dream 4 Nigeria

  • alausa olakunle

    Nice piece. Good to know I ve some of your qualities. Not a wasted time reading through it

  • http://Website Kemi

    I must confess this is very inspiring! Just wondering if you have ever had a baby? Or why are you so so sure your “blood is utterly dominant”? If your wife has equally dominant blood, and you have a baby that isnt your replica as expected, what do you do? Just on a lighter note though!
    Fantastic piece….

  • http://Website Adeyomola Adebayo

    28, October 3

  • Pingback: #ArikWhereIsMyiPad. The $620 question – @omojuwa top 10 | Famuyideolawale's Blog()

  • http://Website Lizzy Omojuwa

    Was actually laughing reading through this. Welldone dear. We are all work in progress and we shall be made a finsihed product.

  • http://www.facebook.com/ammeynu Ameeynu

    I hv been readin lots of ur work bt hv never been oportuned to knw ur background. I agree with most of the things U believe in. Kip up the gud job.

  • http://Website YbqcvPQCcK

    buy tramadol saturday delivery tramadol high many – tramadol online pharmacy

  • http://Website kstOTXAgNc

    buy valium online canada buy valium no rx – what best site for valium online

  • http://Website ZOPlmhhFGw

    is it illegal to buy xanax online xanax pills called bars – xanax side effects rash

  • http://Website nwvdeVFliK

    buy soma carisoprodol used treat – somanabolic muscle maximizer side effects

  • http://Website auVOvFkukX

    ambien sleep ambien online from canada – order ambien without prescriptions

  • http://Website DxUexgJmiw

    buy tramadol online mastercard overnight tramadol hcl bluelight – the tramadol high

Related Posts

Recent Posts

Lotanna Igwe-Odunze Sugabelly Rape Allegations: Mustapha Audu Speaks!

Mustapha Audu who is currently facing a twitter storm over rape allegations posted by the party named in the email below may be coming out with his own side of the story soon if the email sent from his representative is anything to go by. Read the email which was munched for your reading please below. We will post details as soon as they emerge.

#Pausibility: LOVED A SAVAGE. (@Sugabelly and the rest of us) by Adebayo Coker.

He is already some inches into me. I wriggled my waist severally to free myself from the grip but the more I do that the deeper he gets so I resigned to fate, at least the pain will stop. Jide had invited me to his room on a Friday afternoon. Everyone in the compound had gone out. His mother and siblings had traveled for the Christmas holiday and he...


Yejide has started breaking things. Her hands used to be steady: she could thread the needle in a record time. Since last night however, after she had picked a call on her...

Kenneth Isong: Taraba Ruling; Departure From A Negative Past

There is an advantage to the ongoing developments since the Tribunal gave judgment for Senator Alhassan on the Taraba gubernatorial election. It is obviously an unexpected benefit but in addition to deepening our democracy, the discussions bring into sharp focus the people of Taraba – whose welfare and future should be paramount. The people of Taraba deserve a lot better than what the PDP has been able to offer over the last few years in terms of...

“We’re Not Aregbesola’s Rubber Stamp” – Salaam, Osun Speaker

MR  Najeem Salaam is Speaker of the Osun State House of Assembly. Salam, in this interview, he faults the insinuation in some quarters that the Osun Assembly is a mere rubber stamp of Governor Rauf Aregbesola. He also bares his mind on governance in the state among other issues. Excerpts: By Dapo Akinrefon How do you assess Governor Rauf Aregbesola’s fifth year in office The whole country is on vacation. Nobody will say he...

9 Professors Shortlisted For LASU Vice-Chancellor Contest

Nine out of 14 professors have been shortlisted to contest for the post ?of the Vice-Chancellor at the Lagos State University (LASU). A competent source, who pleaded anonymity at the University’s Registrars office, made the disclosure on Friday in Lagos. The source said that 14 professors had applied for the position within the six weeks of the advertisement. “Nine were shortlisted after several considerations of their qualifications and pre-requisites for absorption,’’ the source said.

Tanzanian Govt Officials Jailed For Lateness

Six government officials in Tanzania were jailed this week after turning up late for a meeting, reports said Friday, amid a government campaign to tighten standards and tackle corruption. “The officials spent six hours in custody following the order by the district commissioner,” the Uhuru newspaper reported Friday, in an editorial praising the move. “They showed up two hours earlier on the following day,” it added. The local government official in a suburb of...

ICPC Cautions VIOs Against Extortion, Bribery

The Independent Corrupt Practices and other Related Offences Commission has advised Vehicle Inspection Officers in Kaduna State to avoid extortion and other forms of corrupt practices. The ICPC North-West Zonal Commissioner, Mr. Olusegun Adigun, gave the advice on Thursday at a two-day workshop for VIOs in the state to enlighten them on the need for integrity and transparency. The workshop with the theme, “Combating Corruption in Vehicle Inspection System: The Role of ICPC”, was organised...

Nigerian Navy Arrest Boat With 400 Truckload Of Stolen Crude Oil

The Nigerian Navy in the Delta state has arrested a self propelled barge loaded with estimated 4000metric tonnes, equivalent of 400 truck load of suspected crude oil in what the Central Naval Command, CNC, described as “a big break in the fight against oil theft” in the Niger Delta. Flag Officer Commanding, FOC, CNC, Rear Admiral Apochi Suleiman who briefed the press Friday at the Nigeria Navy Ship, NNS Delta in Warri...

Queen Elizabeth Begins Commonwealth Summit With Climate Focus

Queen Elizabeth II opened the 2015 Commonwealth summit on Friday with a colourful ceremony attended by world leaders gathered for pressing talks on climate change. The Queen dressed in an aqua blue coat with pink flowers adorning her trademark hat, was serenaded by a harp as she arrived to a red-carpet welcome at a huge sandstone conference centre on the seafront in the Maltese capital Valletta. As the clock ticks to a UN...

Buhari Engages Queen Of England In A Chat (PHOTO)

President Muhammadu Buhari who is currently in Malta, participating in the 2015 Commonwealth Heads of Government Meeting which began in the island nation Today, is pictured engaging the Queen of England in a conversation. The Commonwealth is made up of Britain, Nigeria and 51 other countries that work together to pursue common goals and promote development, democracy, peace, security and good governance.

‘Church Is For Love’, Gay Ugandans Send Message To Pope

It is a weekend of anticipation for Uganda's LGBTI community. For them, the doors of the church have long been closed. So when Pope Francis' long-awaited first visit to Africa as leader of the Catholic Church brings him to Kampala on Friday, they hope that he comes bearing a message of tolerance after years of persecution, violence and, at times, death. It is an issue that has divided the more conservative African church leaders,...

Police Clamp Down 15-man Syndicate Over Dollar Counterfeiting

Officers of the Nigeria Police Force that constitute the Lagos State Government crime combat team known as Rapid Response Squad (RRS) yesterday arrested five members of a 15-man syndicate which specialised in dollar counterfeiting and defrauding of members of the public. Our correspondent learnt that the suspects identified as, Ade Oladele (32), Friday Philip (33), Israel Ibeh (35), Oyewole Thompson (30) and Onyegbuchi Godwin (31) were arrested in Oko Baba Sule and Wilma Bridge around Olodi...

Weapons Used In Paris Attacks Bought From German Dealer- Report

Four assault rifles used in the deadly Paris attacks were allegedly purchased from a trafficker in Germany, newspaper Bild reported Friday. Quoting documents from the Stuttgart prosecutor’s office, the newspaper said two AK47s and two Zastava M70s were sold on November 7 by the arms dealer to a customer in Paris. “French investigators believe that the weapons were allegedly used in the attacks in Paris,” said Bild. The Stuttgart prosecutor was not immediately available...

Video: The Mavins – JantaManta ft. Don Jazzy, Tiwa Savage, Dr SID, D’Prince, Reekado Banks, Korede Bello, Di’Ja

The Sumpreme Mavin Dynasty presents the music video of JantaManta, a new magical single featuring Don Jazzy, Tiwa Savage, Dr.Sid, D’Prince, Di’Ja, Reekado Banks and Korede Bello. It is produced by Don Jazzy. The magic began 4 months ago when Don Jazzy previewed the early beginning of JantaManta on Instagram and Snapchat. After perfecting the beat, the 6 dynamic and award winning Mavin Record artistes proceeded to add their creative lyrics to bring the song to...

China To Invest $10 Billion In Cross River

The Cross River State Governor, Ben Ayade, says arrangements have been concluded for Henan Province of China to commence construction of $10 Billion project in the state. He gave the hint about the project agreement while addressing reporters at the Margaret Ekpo International Airport, Calabar on Thursday. Governor Ayade said that the state would witness the arrival of 100 investors from Henan, who would set up various companies and industries in Cross River. He also stated that the...

North Korean Dictator Kim Jong-un Orders Countrymen To Copy His ‘Ambitious’ Hair Style

North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un has ordered men to copy his 'ambitious' hair style limiting growth to a maximum length of 2cm.Anyone breaching the restrictive guidelines face having their hair shorn by authorities, especially in universities, who have been warned to watch out for any capitalist styles. Women are advised to copy his wife, Ri Sol-ju's bob. According to the Sun: 'University student monitors are walking around with scissors and cutting off the hair of offenders.'Kim has let it...

Our Roads Are Dead– Buhari

President Muhammdu Buhari on Wednesday admitted that Nigerian roads are “dead” and required urgent attention of the Federal Government. The president spoke at a dinner he hosted in honour of senators at the new Banquet Hall of the Presidential Villa, Abuja Wednesday night. The event was also attended by Vice President Yemi Osinbajo; a national leader of the All Progressives Congress, Bola Tinubu; the Deputy President of the Senate, Ike Ekweremadu; top government officials and...

Kaduna State Government Approves Compensation For Rimi College Allottees

As part of its human capital development agenda, the Kaduna State Government is committed to expanding access to quality education. Central to its education reform programme is the restoration of the iconic schools whose facilities have been encroached by public institutions and private concerns. The recovery of school lands is imperative to better position the schools to properly discharge their primary mandate.

Nominees of The Future Awards Africa 2015 Hosted At An Exclusive Event By The U.S Consul-General In Lagos

The Future Awards Africa nominees were hosted to an exclusive nominees reception by the United States Consul-General, John Bray, at his residence in Lagos, on Tuesday, November 24, 2015.  He recognized the strides achieved by The Future Awards Africa over the past ten years and commended the inspiring contribution of young Africans who are making a difference in their communities and globally. “I am delighted that my first act in Nigeria is recognizing young people...

Governor El-Rufai’s Statement On The Nigerian Communication Commission Fine

As part of a duty of political responsiveness to Nigerians who are entitled to all the facts, Malam Nasir El-Rufai, the Governor of Kaduna, hereby issues this statement on the NCC fine. “At the most recent meeting of the Nigerian Governors’ Forum on Wednesday, 18 November 2015, the Executive Vice Chairman of the Nigerian Communications Commission gave a presentation. During the question and answer session that