The Gospel According To ‘Saint’ Farouk

Published:13 Jun, 2012

1)  And it came to pass after these things, on the first day of the first month of the twelfth year after the second millennium, that king Jona son of Bele announced to the people saying; there is no money left in the royal treasury, and the future of the kingdom is in great danger.

2) Therefore, a measure of oil shall no longer sell for three scores of silver and seven, but shall now be seven scores of silver and one. But the people grumbled aloud, and said unto another, what shall it profit our king to gain all these oil money and lose his throne?

3) For it is appointed unto him to reign but once, and after this prison, for many are the atrocities which he has committed.

4)  So they said unto the king, eat thou thy food in peace in the palace, and surround thou thyself with thine women, only touch not our oil price and do thy people no harm.

5) But the king would not listen, and said unto himself, I know my people, they shall only grumble for a while and soon they shall forget.

6) But the people would not forget, for the burden was too much for them to bear, and they said; now unto him that is able to increase the price of oil exceeding abundantly above all that his people can bear or think, according to the greed which worketh in him;

7) Unto him be curses in the streets by the masses throughout all ages, protests without end.

8) So they took to the streets and gave the land no peace, and there was no going out or coming in throughout the kingdom for two weeks, and the king feared greatly and said to himself, surely these people shall overturn me if I answer them not.

9) So he called the head of the labourers unto the palace, and gave him bags of gold, that he mayest turn off the wrath of the people against the king.

10) So the king assembled the people and said unto them; a measure of oil shall no longer be seven scores of silver and one, but shall now be four scores of silver, one dozen and five, to this your leaders have agreed. Praise me now therefore for I am a benevolent king.

11) And after all these, the Loudspeaker of the House of People said, let us inquire into the king’s claim that there be no money in the royal treasury. So they appointed Farcrook, son of Lawal.

12) And said unto him, gather ye now all the oil sellers, that we may know who stole from the kingdom. This did him with diligence, and came back with his report saying

13) Thieves abound in the land, and so have the oil sellers stole from the people, and gave them not oil, this they did with the help of Aliyaro the king’s mistress; and the amount he mentioned was unheard of in the land.

14) When the people heard this, they were dismayed, and sorrow gripped their hearts.

15) But the oil sellers went in unto the king in his chamber, and said; rememberest thou O king that the what we stole did we make available to thy campaign, and by thus did we make you king.

16) If thou deliver us unto the people that they may punish us, we will hold not our tongue to tell the people that thou art one of us.

17) And they said unto him, how else shall we destroy the message if not to destroy the messenger? Let us therefore implicate Farcrook the son of Lawal in this matter.

18) So they sent a certain rich man from the West by the name Otedollar, and he took Farcrook into his house and gave him some money, that he may alter the report which he had set before the people.

19) And it was that Otedollar went before an assembly of the people and said unto them, trust ye this man who said we stole from the treasury? Surely he is one of us, for he came unto me in the middle of the night, and he left with his pockets full of money.

20) And the people where amazed, and their hearts bled, for Farcrook was a man in whom they had put their trust.

21) So Farcrook arose, and said; Otedollar is my briber, I did not request. He maketh me to sit down in his Maitama house; he leadeth me beside the chilled champagne.

22) He exploited my greed; he leadeth me in the path of marked dollars for subsidy’s sake.

23) Yea, even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of EFCC, I will fear no arrest: for bribes are with me; my loots and my kickbacks they comfort me.

24) Thou preparest the dollars before me, in the presence of the SSS: thou anointest my mouth with wine; my pocket runneth over.

25) Surely the shame and reproach shall follow me all the days of my life, but I will dwell in the house of PDP forever and ever.

26) And the people wept, but there was no one to console them.

 

Ogunyemi Bukola

Follow @zebbook on twitter

  • http://twitter.com/samlexng ALEX

    God bless you. What a brilliant write-up. These guys are just deceiving and playing with our intelligence. May we be delivered!

  • OLABODE

    What an hilarious write up!!! Its on point thou. Who will deliver us from the hand of these looters?

  • Alagbe Muyideen

    This is interesting. Japh,bukky ,u guys are too much. Am always anxious to read your blogs daily. Keep up the good work.

  • deborah

    Hilarious indeed! I couldn’t stop laughing! “The loudspeaker”! Well done bukky!

  • O’Michael

    Come up hither and I shall show thee what shall become of Nigeria in years to come. Woe unto the people for their leaders have the spirit of beelzebuub!

  • fradomlove Mr.francis

    this is beautiful.. so all that is happening in nigeria now has been fortold in the bible but we knoweth not for God speaketh in parable.

  • aminu hafiz wali

    awe inspiring,creative piece.so what will the people do next? surely this preachers call should b heard by all nigerians.

  • bukola

    This is so hilarious, name sake.
    Kudos to you.

  • Abmalik

    It’s. So on point! We should just name it, Parable according to…

    Mehn, keep it rolling.

    However, me think shoulda been “Three Scores and a Five” rather than “Three Scores and a Seven”

  • akanski

    Brilliant, I love d concept, d creativity. Kudos. A bit of typo errors but they don’t take away from d story. Really really good. We’ll done

  • http://www.twitter.com/gaisebaba Akinade

    Olubukola Ogunyemi, may your well of creativity never run dry. Flesh & blood have not revealed this to you oh… God bless you my brother!

  • duenthegooner

    Hehe definitely the best article I’ve read in this site (I am partial to humour).

  • Yomi

    Nice piece. May God save our country.

  • Yewande

    Splendid!!!!!! The ironical truth my friend

  • patt

    This is not funny. It is the history of the people of the land of the naija. The yoke of the rich upon the common men.

  • afekhume gloria

    Great piece, kudos….a serious msg packaged in an interesting way.well done

  • olawale

    this is a wonderful piece! Hilarious and witty to the very end. Keep up the good work!

  • Omo Olorun

    Nice piece! Kudos guys!

  • Abdulkadir M

    A creative Write up from a Genuis.May God Deliver Us From the Hands of the Wicked,Amen.

  • odejide

    This is great, keep it up.

  • Kokomma

    Fantastic adaptation…awesome! Wow, how did u come up wt d idea…lol. Its so creatively inspired n witty n humourous!!! Just lovely indeed. I especially love the part about “King Jona, son of Bele”. OMG just friggin crazy, I lurve

  • NY4LF

    This is indeed thrilling. An epistle of Farook Lawan and his crook Oil thieves. Hilarious

  • yusuf

    1daful write up keep it up

  • yusuf

    funny and notin but d truth.

  • hassan

    Kudos to d writer

  • Dimeji

    As much as i appreciate the desire to crack us up and the talent and time that went into the writing of this piece…i would like to bring to ur consciousness that it may not be a great idea to alter the words of scripture, or adjust them for comedy…it does not fall into any class of reason why the Word of God was given to us. Please ponder. let’s not make light of God’s word.

  • SeunAlley

    This is so onpoint. Wonderful piece

  • http://http://jirgi80.wordpress.com/ Ahmadu Jirgi

    This is wonderful ! The write up is simply marvellous . With the story its telling its a master piece. My brother. Well said.

  • Simplyskecha

    @Dimeji- d article isn’t an alteration of the bible oh. It’s an adaptation of the english used in king James period (which was then used to translate d bible from hebbrew to English…I think). Witty write up. Sums up our present oil subsidy spectacle. God help us all…

  • Gbenga

    Nice one! This is creative, well thought out and so on point.

  • stephen

    Aptly captured. Behold the day is coming when we shall all face the Lord to give account of all we have done.

  • Sean Faith

    Fantastic write up. May God renew your wisdom…

  • Gbenga

    Wetin this Dimeji dey talk…wah r they altering…its a writing style..nothn more…park well jor..mchew…pdp lapdog!!!..mchew

  • alphaoye

    Splendid epistle, let him that has ear hear what the masses are saying. keep up the good work.

  • adebusola

    I can’t just stop laughing. Nice one.

  • olowo

    Surely,goodness and mercy shall follow this writer all d days of his life. What a write up?

  • abiodun

    A very beautiful writeup so hilarious can’t stp laffing,great work guys more greese to ur elbow.

  • http://omojuwa.com daodu precious

    Dis is so wonderful, gud writter keep it up. Bukky u are too much. Muah.

  • Scot

    Unbereffinglievable!!! Best thing I’ve read all year. Bukky, put thy desires to words, and see coins absent purse! Yes o

  • Faboro

    Great…Yet,I see evil under the sun. The king is impotent of ideas and His servants impregnate His mind n bore they Foolishness and Shame!

  • babe

    Good piece, captures the true situation

  • anthonio okunubi

    Brilliant,hilarious and captivating write ups. Kudos to you guys.whose report do we believe? God or man. May the unlimited God heal our land of gross corruptions amen

  • Temitope

    Intresting…

  • Horlabisi

    God bless u, wonderful writeup dis is,rilly explain d present situation of tins in our dear country.

  • ALMAN

    Hmm what a creative piece from a creative mind…well written keep it up and may ur oil of ideas and inspiration never run dry IJN Amen

  • ACHIEBO CHINEDU

    @Zeebook, may you receive all the wisdom you request from Almighty God. Amen

  • adeyemi olutoye

    Wow. This is amazing. The world must see this

  • http://www.blogsonblogger.com/ Blogger Blogs Directory

    Hahahaha, This is so painfully Beautiful lol,
    A Good Write up pal but with a painful thought of what this Polithiefians are doing up there,
    I think we should get a long stick we can use to pluck them all down.

    Thanks Pal.

  • SeunCradle

    Dis is so captivating! Cudnt help bt laff all thru. Bt our condition is really pitiable. I take refuge in d fact dt “there is a remnant” those who have not bowed their heads nor soiled their hands with the Baal’s plaguing our nation. Nice write up…kudos!

  • http://inspite-of.blogspot.com/ In Spite Of Story Of The Day

    Lovely and Articulate Article

  • http://Www.facebook.com Tega

    Guy what a luvly article there,God will give u more inspiratn 2 write more than this. God help us.

  • Innix

    Wow,creative writing style,wat an insightful thot process initiated,hard work,great job done.

  • @Sam_epum

    This is Great! Good job bro

  • http://www.facebook.com/ssjp1 sammy sjp

    Hilarious!!! This ????§ serious, on point Dear,das exactly what ????§ happening. This people re J?$??? fooling us. May God deliver us…

  • Nureni

    May ur wisdom never dry! He dat is above all will continue 2 protect U&all from d tools of destruction use by d republic to hide d TRUTH!

  • http://www.myfunkybirthday.com Seun

    OH.MY.GOOD GRACIOUS GOODNESS!!! WOW!n This is hilariously brilliant!! I actually never bothered about the story of Farouk but this tells it well in the most intruiging manner! THUMBS UP!

  • http://kwm.com.ng Chikezie

    Hilarious, funny maybe but those who can thus twist d scriptures to make a point, just wondering if they can also brazenly do so with the other holy book?

  • http://straighttalknigeria.wordpress.com Nsisong Effiong

    Thoroughly enjoyable, undeniably creative

  • Oluwaseun

    This write-up perfectly describes the situation. I really pray the looters read this. Kudos to you guys!

  • Harmeenah

    Great piece!!! Luv ur writing Zebbook

  • Olumide

    Weldone!Thanks 4 dis revelatn

  • Bakos J Iliya

    MENE, MENE, TEKEL, UPHARSIN. Oh thou dishounorable chairman, Nigerians gave the same positions to thy fellows before thee. But when there heart was lifted up to gratification and grid, they were shamelessly deposed and handed over to the valleys of EFCC to answer to the law and eat with common crime-nal. And thou Farcrock who was a witness and campaigner has not humble thy heart though thou knowest all this; But thou has lifted up thy heart to receive gratification to enjoy with your cuncubines and praise the gods of corruption and immoral decadence in Naija. And thou has not keep the trust Nigerian bestowed on you. Then was this hand writing send.
    And this is the interpretation: MENE; thy membership had been numbered and finished. TEKEL; Thou are been weighed in the balance(if found wanting) PERES; thy membership will be taken and given to another. And what will happen in the night, wait until the Media took their pen they will write it.

  • Mattson

    The writer is a don

  • adex labule

    Wonderba, this is nothing but the true tale of times clouding this country now. Great write up. Tualee for u.

  • Vivian

    Nicely written, i love the idea but i agree with Demeji, let’s not use the word of God for such. We should fear God and his Word.

  • Ade Wale

    This ????§ J??†? on point, who says we can not still be creative even amidst all these…. Keep it up bukky!!!

  • David

    Brilliant, african intelligence…..keep up d good work!

  • Lanre Lewis

    An interesting read and I commend your creativity. This is a good sarcastic representation of the serious problem in the land. From Power Probe blackmail of the pointman (Elumelu) to Farcrook now in the Fuel Subsidy probe…haaaaaaa Naija Elite (Cabal, Mafia,Cartel..whatever)! Would we ever get any justice in this land?

  • viikie

    A certain rich man from the west by the name Otedollar!
    Simply brilliant.

  • https://www.facebook.com/sparkchange Lucas (@ltspark)

    Beautiful piece. You are seriously an unserious writer.

  • Bola Omodun Ilori

    Good revelation
    The Bible said something terribly good about them in Job 27:13-23.
    Their children shall be fot the sword, their offspring shall go hugry, and many of them die of pestilence, other people will eat the fruits of their labour, their home will becme desolate and they shall die without hope: So says the word of God

  • Funke

    Waoh, I couldn’t stop laughing. Keep on d gud work, u’re a genius

  • Dr Shehu Mahdi

    Bukola thank you for making my day. The situation in Nigeria is so depressing, we need humour or we shall loose our heads. You are our Jonathan Swift. God bless you. Amen

  • Femi Olabisi

    A brilliant treatise on Nigeria’s kleptoparasitic leadership

    @femiolas

  • 9jadonjuan

    ****

  • gift

    na woah oh! cn u imagine a parent dat re eating up their kids in d name of greed? god where re u o? anyway, d voice of d pple is d voice of God. desperate actions calls for desperate reactions.

  • maddy

    A thriller in this season of anomie!

  • drigbinogun

    I feel so sorry for Farouk now. He is done with. Lesson is,don’t mess around with those who drink crude oil. Like in the US,they are our own version of defence contractors. Nice one Bukola! More fire to your bossom. *wink

  • Tola Ajibola

    Its judt unbelievable that a highly respected Faruk can have s free fall like that.the guy should just resign and submit himself to the EFCC for prosecution…its beta for him as a muslim.I know he knows this himself.

  • Are Ola

    I think we haue 2015 as the only hope of the country we must act otherwise month sorry fun gbo gbo yin oooo month sorri fun gbo gbo yi nio kan kan

  • http://yahoo.com Man of God(wussy)

    The truth always get bitter in mind of people…but it’s reality… I love dat write up it expose d unclean manners of Nigeria government…4 using d scripture to illustrate d story am sure. Bukola is commanding d wrath of God upon dem..and so shall it be in jesus name…have a blessed week pls bukola keep on d good work and Nigeria need more exposure of all dis thieves.

  • bunmi

    Wow…so hilarious, lemme add my bit joor….. footnote:After all dse tinz do the ppl come 2geda to reason n say,What den shall we do? Shall d probe result be now null n void? dy all answered n said No, the probe must go on, enuf’s been had from ds burukutu inspired governance. Lol

  • Anslem

    Ummmm,that was ….out of this world. Kudo,you should be happy with yourself. You deserve that $3m those crooks are throwing around. I’m folling you right away, keep it coming !

  • abbeyval

    Brilliant piece.

  • niyi ayan

    Well don guys, I like it, He who deliver israelite in land of egyptians we sure deliver Nigerians

  • Sola

    Excellent write-up. very creative. Omojuwa doesn’t fail to bring it!

  • seun ogunseyin

    Bukky, great work. God will continue to add to your wisdom

  • Ikenna

    Wow!this is just too much!

  • Ajidot

    Lovely write up, the last time such a beautiful epic was written was 2012 years ago.

  • Canon Komolafe

    This is a sad story of Nigeria the sleeping giant. When will Nigeria get to the promised land. Shame on the politicians. Non to be trusted

  • Folarin Taofiq

    I want to wait for the outcome of FRIDAY sitting of the house of rep before I could say anything.

  • Oluwaseun

    Great thought!

  • E. Olatunde Ajadi

    Well done.

  • damola

    waoo! wat a brilliant piece. u are too much

  • Kris

    Masterpiece!

  • Bayo Onafusi

    This is so funny. May God help us all from these losers.

  • http://egunjobioladapo.blogspot.com Dapo Egunjobi

    I just love this..this is nice.The unrepentant sinners will go unpunished. Imagine if we didn’t hear about the scandal. Many like this go and we never get to know about it!

  • http://egunjobioladapo.blogspot.com Dapo Egunjobi

    I just love this..this is nice. The unrepentant sinners will NOT go unpunished. Imagine if we didn’t hear about the scandal. Many like this go and we never get to know about it!

  • Barnabas

    When men start the use of their pen, bad leaders should tremble for a revolution is looming. This is a master-piece. Has the style of stories in the Arabian Night. Keep writing. Keep portraying the corruption of our leaders to the masses.

  • Toyin

    Everyone finds this hillarious but the question is how long? How long ll corruption continue to thrive like it is economic development.The puzzle called Ms Otteh and members of rep is yet to be unravelled.The other day Obasanjo said they re all rogues.Is it nt clear to the world now.Still they ll nt let the poor man be. Omogui-Otauru is looking for everymeans of getting tax frm the highly deprived Nigerians all in the name of doing her work very well.No more conscience in the Land.

  • Oke Bamidele Joel

    OMG! This is raw creativity from the throne of God! Truth made simple and hilarious! Keep it up Bukola!

  • Muhammd B. Haruna

    Wow wonderful and very good write up. Keep it up.

  • Jewel

    Wow! Its just like am reading a passage in the bible. I respect this write Zebbook…cheers!

  • Simeon F. Abaku

    Wow, this is an award winning piece.It is too big for this place,a bigger medium is required to propagate this message. Kudos my brother.

  • Bisi Oyegoke

    Wht befall us every dy in dis nation makes most of us lose faith in Nig,there is nothin like Nig dream,My hrt is heavy n i weep profusely 4 dis failin state,Nig is on it way 2 Bermuda triangle,15yrs of independence n 13yrs of democracy,stil we are crawlin,wit attendant corruptn, leadershp ineptitude,tel me which sector is workin in Nig, PLS WEN ARE WE GOING TO GET TO OUR PROMISED LAND?

  • Pingback: Eko Encounters: The Gospel According to St Farouk « Nana A Damoah()

  • hyjex

    dis is great may d gud Lord bless d writer

  • O????lA?????U???????e

    Its an exciting write up
    Is rich nd brilliant that matchup with whta the polican nd the cabal dealing is. Sbusidy continue.

  • Muhammad B. Dahiru

    Wat a pitty To Nation at bridge of collapse…

  • moh’d nababa

    Wat a great write up. God will save us from these animals in human skin with no iota of shame @all.

  • Daniel Momma

    Excellent piece. Captured †?e essence of †?e “subsidy” fight. Thumbs up to †?e writer. Time to plan how to remove †?e crooks and their puppet.

  • oloruntola babatunde

    To yee with good ears this gospel is true and it must be completed someday.

  • http://www.facebook.com Toyin

    Wow! This write-up is wonderfully painful!

  • http://www.facebook.com Toyin

    Wow! This write-up is wonderfully painful! I love it?

  • zoooze

    This is mindblowing prose. Naija’s got talent

  • victoria ujong

    Interesting!

  • Opeyemi

    D gospel is awesome,i use 2 like and respect faruk

  • olufemi agboola

    Interesting,a real gospel…thumb up for dis,though painful drama of our leaders are playing on the inteligent of masses with their idealogy

  • mee

    beautiful

  • nunulicious

    The cabal set farouk lawal up. the book The art of war comes to mind…character assassination

  • Austine

    God will continue to expose them. This is what I call the conspiracy of high people in high places against the masses.
    The good thing is that the masses can also conspire and vote them out in 2015

  • Awiloju

    Great story, good comments. But what next? Business as usual, I assure you. Worse corrupt practices are on-going somewhere. Unfortunately, nobody to shout ORDER! Unless God is ready to intervene, we are doomed like Sysiphus.

  • musa

    Hmmm…

  • mazi excel ochiama

    He that is without sin let first cast the stone!.we have more pressing issues at hand.may we all discharge our earthly duties knowing that whatsoever a man sows that shall he reap in other words for every act displayed here on earth you must be rewarded according to your deeds.let’s live right.GOD BLESS NIGERIA IN JESUS NAME AMEN!

  • maankaay

    When Baba Iyabo opens his basket mouth we now know something de shele.OBJ the patriot never fails to say it as it is.

  • oluwatosin

    thou writer, God wouldest blest thy writing skills and thy creativity.. For thou, in thy write-up have made thy humble reader laff.. blessed art thou in thy labour, and in the fruit of thine vine… Blessed b thy pocket as thou good to d oil station to buy a litre for 4score, 1 dozen and three pieces of silver.. Lol… Bcos d king hath sed so… lest we record any impeachmnt in dis country of any king.. Lets cry unto God dat 2015 shall com suddenly.. Nd let d king b bounced out.. Cos he dosent even hav a knwledge of d affairs of d nation.. Plus he posseseth a ‘bullet proof’ queen… Shouting the people at every speech.. Lol

  • Kabiru

    Not funny at all. Arise ‘O’ compatriots ~snifs~

  • Rash

    Law numero uno @ 48 laws of power, “Never Outshine the Master”.. Poor FaCrook @ Integrity group.com

  • David A

    I know d last has not been heard, it’s still d beginning of a long season film. Let be prayerfuly watching dat d whole film ended @ comdy-tragedy 4 all our corrupt leaders… I give kudos 2 the writer!!!

  • jossy

    What a creativity! As long as this conscienceless group are allowed to rule us Nigeria is caged.

  • http://mchiamichael@yahoo.com mchia michael

    Farouk, when Ribadu was given such money he lodged it in the federation account and walked away. Why didn’t you do the same?

  • kizito

    Who says Nigerians are not creativ?! Wow, dis is not only full of humour it has also helped me in undastanding what is really going on. Nice 1 bukky more grease to ur elbow

  • http://twitter.com/mustaphagarko Mustapha Garko

    Its a shame how dis GEJ administration is harbourin a lot ov robbers in d parliament. Wats more shameful is dat d indicted lawmaker is a hausa/fulani 4rm d north. Farouk u’ve failed us we northerners… Insha Allah every part n parcel ov GEJ’s administration either in d federal, state ov local government is leaving come 2015, if not nigeria will b a failed state. Kudos 2 OBJ 4 exposin them initially.

  • Don vyke

    You are a guru, smart, creative and well talented. You are just too good.

  • uche okoye

    leave farouk Alone if is u wat will u do? Besides otedollar has all dis mny and do nothing wt it . By getting to fArouk hands it reduces d poverty in their community

  • Mee

    Its a shame. Gaint of africa has become the ant. All because of greedy politicians. God bless Nigeria.

  • foreal

    This writer is more creative, selfless and patriotic than the crooks (all politicians and their supporters inclusive) we call leaders. What a failing country…….

  • stone

    My fellow Nigerians, we musnt vote in these corrupted guys again o come 2015. Please by 2014 do your own area door to door campaign and advice people to vote right. The last election I advised many of our masses to vote in a leader who is doing well for them or a new candidate entirely, their reply was abeg anyone dats gives me money na hin I go vote for. As little as 1,000naira these peoples votes were bought. I told them the money u are given now will finish in a day and you won’t see your corrupted candidates till next election, that is 4years of suffering all for 1k. My people we must get it right come 2015. Let’s start thinking of a good presidential candidate from now on so we can spead the word to all of his good deeds or governance. Do the same for the senates and house of reps candidates, the power is in our hands. Even if we have to vote in new and fresh candidates it is better a risk than vote in these recycled thieves. God bless my country

  • Chila

    Nice one…more of these…God will help us in country Nigerian

  • Adeg

    dis gospel MUST be read in the House and at Aso Rock. kudos 2 d writer

  • http://www.cddresources.com Dare

    Great work of art.I like it

  • http://www.phronesisblog.wordpress.com @lammyng

    Great,Hilarious, Beautiful….i lovve the write up…great work guys!!

  • Prince

    Looooolzzzz! Guy u b real crab o! Nice one ther tho’. Mehn na only God go deliver us 4rm d hands of dis wicked set of criminals dat parade themselves as leaders sha!…Hmmmn!!

  • MARVELOUS MARPHO

    Thumbs-up ƒ??????r?? u ma sista w?????????????? a????? nice and hilarious write up made simple by Bukkie. t???????????? ye a?l political bastard thieves †?? fear °ƒ Bukola’s pen, ????§ †?? begging °ƒ saving ?ou? face from public disgrace.

  • Tito

    This is awesome, who are you this Gbonga? Great research. You touch the koko…

  • Alex

    ?Abeg I no fit laugh again, u don crack my ribs. This ur gospel is so true. 9ce one from u.

  • babatunde badmus

    this is indeed a good piece that actually sums up the tale of the oil subsidy bribe scandal.the use literary device is okay and the consistency of language is applausable.it’s true that there is to be the issue than otedola,the presidency definately have a hand in this

  • jioke

    Well done bros,there’s notn wrong in changn a name in d bible ad putn ur own name there.only dat u should hav let d weak minds know dat dis article is not meant to let d bible down, since u got d idea 4rom sacrate book.

  • Yemisi

    Your epistle is a poignant reminder that All is not well in the country. Farouk is one of the few we believed standsapart from the pecuniary madness that afflicts our rulers. Thanks for injecting humour into the show of shame, very ingenous. God bless Nigeria

  • bailey

    Integrity 4 small money, dollar no integrity. Wetin Far rogue wan use ds $ do? What we need in oil sector is reforms. Okonjo & Deziani said to catch any oil thief is hard. You see now, this one went by 4am to thief frm thief to share in house of corruptn. Let us support Gej to carry out the neccessary reforms.

  • Therny

    WoW.. EXactly.. Gud1

  • kola sofuwa

    THIS IS SUPER….YOU ARE HEREBY GIVEN AN AWARD OF THE GREAT COMEDIAN OF OUR NATION. IT IS A MASTERPIECE AND VERY HILLARIOUS. IF YOU ARE NOT YET WRITING FOR THE MEDIA, PLS START RIGHT AWAY. I ASSURE YOU MONEY WILL SEEK YOU OUT. YOU HAVE MADE MY DAY!

  • pst Sam A O

    Only God can save dis nation can u jst see how our bad leaders waist many GEM we av on dis country,I am really commend d effort of d writter kip it up one day all dere secrity wll b open 4 us 2 see by God grace. Let us all cry 2 God 4 his REVOLUTION by 2015 so we can enjoy our own blessed nation 2geda.

  • michael

    Superb creativity..

  • Omo Jesu

    Very educating and hilarious. Keep it up

  • emmanuel noah

    Nice,creative but blasphemous

  • fonzy

    Hilarious and captivating. Kudos pls keep it up.

  • eniola

    :-) i laugh n weep for this country,so many of us saying 2015 all over d place will still sell their votes n some help hijack votes for dollars from otedollar, a share of d poisoned wit corruption national cake!

  • HALADU A SANI

    well constructed, exactly as the crooks drama is but rejected by the Almighty for the masses to know.

  • oyeleye

    True! But this does not bring joy or good tidings to the heart of man. Instead, hopelessness.

  • emmanuel garba

    Wonderful write up.welldone

  • Omos

    Wow..nice 1 dear, keep it up

  • Emperor

    Very ingenious! U deserve an award for this brilliant piece

  • udy

    Its so sad – it just explains how rotten the whole system is. Its about time we stopped asking for a messiah but take our own destiny in our hands.

  • alamu

    Ingenuinety at its very best. In the mist of this comic relief, the people can’t just weep ooo but have to help themselves! Arise o compatriots!!!

  • Adedeji

    This is powerful and thoughtful.
    I’m expecting nothing from this govt. The future lies in the hands of the faithful few whom God will commit the affairs of this nation. Weldone @zebbook.

  • Adejoke Hassan

    I love ds piece, so innovative, may God bless u bukky, keep it up n may God deliver us from our useless leaders n their associate

  • fawale oluwaseun

    Where did U????? get this write up? God will really bless the source of ??U?????r wisdom A??????d????? U????? will never lack knowledge. Kudos!!!

  • Andykuul

    Nt a bad write up. Thought it was an ancient prediction of d presemt situation wen i started 2 read it. Kip it up guy!

  • Nd Martins

    You are great my dear, you don kill me with laugh…pls thank God you don find your talent

  • duchesstemi

    Zebbook,this is humour at its best.
    You are a genius bro!thumbs up.

  • http://akahomepascal.wordpress.com boss raldo

    This piece is awesome. I wish for a follow up article. @ dimeji farabale, he is not thwarting scripture since he never said it was scripture in the first place. It is d old english style of writing. Nevertheless I love ur enthusiasm for His kingdom. Afterall scripture says “zeal for my fathers house has consumed me”

  • jikz woryi

    Nice peice !
    Hope jona will allow EFCC get hold of otedollar

  • temitope olusoga

    Kudos!kudos!!kudos!!!…..very hilarious,creative,articulate…..welldone.

  • ray

    Shame to Nigeria as a nation. This shldnt be the end of this case. The house should appoint another head of committee while Lawan is suspended definitly

  • rosysandy ikoro

    God shall continue to expose them,they thought that the prayers of we christains will be in vain,shame to them.

  • Folusho

    This piece is hillarious, saddening and thought provoking. If we continue like this in this nation flowing with milk and honey, then we are doomed and God forbid. Both givers and collectors should not be spared. Farcrook is not alone neither is Otedollar. But who will deal with this bad situation? Can king Jona son of Bele do it? I very much doubt. I’m crying and bleeding inside of me right now. The Farcrook debacle is a destraction from the main issue which was well planned and carefully executed by the cabal.

  • victoria chibueze

    Bukky,
    I pray God increase d grace 2 write up more truths &facts like this,
    But above all I pray 4 a lifting 2ru dis gift,”…4 d gift of a man maketh room 4him &causeth him 2stand b4 Kings &not mean men”

    I c it happening already
    Just don’t compromise d truth
    Cheers

  • opeyemi ajii

    Great work.das intelligent of u

  • Tyno

    Therefore the people of the land pleaded to the king to amend their vocabulary: saying thou king, let farouk now be called facrook, which ye means a sainty bribe taker, to farouk to mean the act of taking bribe as a saint & person of integriy also to be farouked to mean being caught taking bribe under the camera. And the king accepted their demands!

  • Niyi Oyeku

    So hilarious,so true,so touching.Keep up the good work.

  • Bose Ayodele

    Where is Deno Melaye? He must be laughn his heart loud

  • Olumide

    Amazingly brilliant! This is but a masterpiece. Bukky I believe you are beyond extraordinary. Something tells me you will clinch a Booker prize. Please keep me posted. My PIN: 22F8F003, Email: Olumideadewunmi@yahoo.com

  • Funmi

    I agree with Dimeji. The nation is in a sorry state, but then the word of God should’nt be manipulated to express our displeasure in this context. Any reader of the scripture would know what portions of the Bible was changed. May God deliver this nation from the rougues in authority

  • bankole

    The Nigeria political movie industry is becoming more interesting as dis politicians are always out there to entertain us. It was Etteh ,Bankole ,Elumelu in the year past, now it is turn of Farouk to take the centre stage. May God deliver us.

  • http://stehllar.blogspot.com stella

    Oh my…such a brilliant write-up. I am amazed

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  • HON. KINRIN GBENGA

    YOU ARE INTELIGENT

  • http://www.stainlounge.com George Imeneze

    Lt me clarify you guys here,this is not leading us Nigerians to anywhere,we are trapped in the hands of criminals and looters called politicians.

    Unless the Youths and the future leaders of this nation rises up,nothing good will come out of this nation called Nigeria.

    We need to kill all politicians from 1978 till date to cleans this land of corruption,we need to kill their offsprings just like what happened in Ghana in those days,Libya and Egypt of Today.

    We are tired of these doods looting and wasting our resources

  • Adeola

    What did you expect from someone whose name means to profit from mischief.

  • Atu

    Gud nd interestg but d fact remains dt d pple 4rm d clan tagged PEOPLE DECIEVING PEOPLE shall on a faithful day account 4 toyg around wt faith nd destiny. NO SHAKING COS D DAY SHALL COM.

  • chy

    U culd put d piece in a better way than using the holy book style. B careful wit d word of God and use your gifts wisely

  • chy

    God cannot be mocked

  • Olamipo

    I doff my HAT Bukky. Great and inventive. Keep it up. What’s ur profile name on FB? send it to me pls: olazeus@yahoo.com

  • John da beloved

    Simply brilliantly done……Asegbe kan o si l’aye, ase pamo lo wa……..

  • BUSOYE

    Dis is a true gospel 2 b heard. Published to d Nigerian citizens

  • David Khulong

    What a brillant, bible structured, truth revealing poem. U re too much

  • samuel adetona

    I have read this article over and over (more than 25 times).I kept reading this when business is bad so as to lighten up. I just wrote a book but I must say BUKOLA is set apart for greatness. I did laugh while reading but internally am crying for the future of this nation.The greatest mistake nigerians made in 2012 was d failure of the January protest. Perhaps,that opportunity for change may not come in a long time.

  • opeyemi

    Very Hilarious..A masterpiece

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Ahmad Salkida Disputes NSA’s Claim Of De-Radicalizing 22 Boko Haram Members

The office of the National Security Adviser (NSA) yesterday told President Muhammadu Buhari, that no fewer than 22 women and girls, recruited as suicide bombers by the Boko Haram sect and another 47 former sect members were now undergoing rehabilitation after voluntarily embracing a de-radicalization programme of the office under the Countering Violent Extremism (CVE) programme. But Ahmad Salkida with twitter Handle @contactsaldika disputes such claims saying you can only de radicalize people you understand their ideologies...

FG Rehabilitates 22 Female Bombers, 47 Dump Boko Haram

The Head of the Countering Violent Extremism Department in the Office of the National Security Adviser, Dr. Fatima Akilu, told President Muhammadu Buhari on Tuesday that no fewer than 22 women and girls recruited as suicide bombers by members of the Boko Haram sect are now undergoing rehabilitation under the programme. She said the female trained as suicide bombers by the sect were being rehabilitated after voluntarily embracing the agency’s de-radicalisation programme. A statement by...

Chad Military Arrests Top Boko Haram Leader

A Chadian Public Prosecutor, Alghassim Khamis, has said that one of the key Boko Haram leaders, Baana Fanay, who has been coordinating trafficking of weapons in Nigeria, Cameroon and Chad was arrested on Sunday in N’Djamena. “Fanay, alias Mahamat Moustapha, was arrested by security forces after a fierce resistance,” Khamis said. He said Fanay, who was arrested with two other terrorists, was responsible for the purchase of weapons and recruitment of fighters for Boko Haram. The...

Queen Bey Dethroned As Forbes Highest Paid Celebrity, Who is Number 1?

Forbes has released their annual list of the highest paid celebrities - and Beyonce has been dethroned! Replacing her as the top earning celebrity for this fiscal year is Floyd Mayweather. The boxer, nicknamed 'Money', earned $300 million...

Terrorism: Court Grants Sen. Ndume Leave To Travel Abroad

An Abuja Federal High Court yesterday granted an application by Sen. Ali Ndume, who is charged with terrorism to enable him travel to Saudi Arabia for the lesser Hajj. Ndume was arraigned after he was implicated by a suspected member of the Boko Haram sect, Ali Konduga, who has since been convicted and sentenced for the offence.? Delivering a short ruling on the Senator’s application, the trial judge, Justice Gabriel Kolawole, ordered the court’s Deputy...

Need To Strengthen Regional Security Cooperation in West Africa: A Non-Negotiable Priority For The Incoming Administration By Fola Aina

The West African sub region has witnessed relative peace and stability over the years. This has also helped the economies within the region to consolidate economic growth and development. While the popular assumption has been that democracy has come to stay in Africa, the case has not necessarily been the same for all the countries in the West African region. Mali, Chad, Guinea Bissau and Niger for instance have been victims of the activities of Islamic extremists...

President Buhari Appoints New Official

Prof. Attahiru Jega on Tuesday bowed out of office as the Chairman of the Independent National Electoral Commission. Consequently, President Muhammadu Buhari has appointed Mrs. Amina Bala Zakari, as the acting chairman of INEC. Zakari, the first female to occupy the position albeit in an acting capacity, was until Tuesday, a National Electoral Commissioner at INEC. A statement issued by the Director Communications in the Office of Head of Civil Service of the Federation, Alhaji Haruna...

Osun Government Commences Payment Of Workers Salaries, Slashes Politicians’ Salaries By 50 Percent

Following series of criticism over prolonged non-payment of workers’ salaries in the state, the Osun State government on Tuesday announced that it has commenced payment of salaries, slashing politicians’ salaries by 50 percent. Confirming the news, the Chairman of the Nigerian Labour Congress in Osun state, Mr. Jacob Adekomi said that Governor Rauf Aregbesola has approved the payment of December, 2014 salaries of workers in the state. The Governor was also said to have approved the payment of 30% outstanding balance...

Senators Will Return From Break To Screen Ministers On One Condition- Saraki

President of the Senate, Senator Bukola Saraki, on Tuesda, has promised that senators presently on break would rush back from their homes to screen ministers any time President Muhammadu Buhari sends his ministerial list to the upper Legislative chambers. According to him, the 8th Senate was prepared to support President Buhari to effect the positive change expected from his administration by Nigerians, just as he also pledged the cooperation of the National Assembly with the executive...

Supreme Court Allows Texas Abortion Clinics to Stay Open

Today, the Supreme Court refused to let Texas enforce an abortion law so restrictive that it would have forced 10 clinics to close across the state. The law, House Bill 2, requires all abortion providers have admitting privileges at nearby hospitals and holds clinics to the same standards as ambulatory surgical centers. These regulations, which supporters of the bill claim are for the safety of patients, are seen as unnecessarily stringent by many others...

Rihanna Has A Message For Young Guys

At Sunday night's BET Awards, an Armani-clad Rihanna offered some wisdom on the 10-year-old Black-ish cast member. According to Brown's "thank you" tweet, RiRi advised the young star to "be a man, not a heartbreaker!" Rihanna, keeping puppies safe and the young in line. https://twitter.com/mrbabyboogaloo/status/615580799895625728/photo/1 Credit: racked

South Sudan Army Rape, Burn Girls Alive – UN

UN rights reports have said on Tuesday that South Sudan’s army raped then torched girls alive inside their homes during a recent campaign notable for its “new brutality and intensity”. A UN mission in South Sudan said some of the most disturbing allegations focused on the abduction and sexual abuse of women and girls, some of whom were reportedly burnt alive in their dwellings. The UN mission said they have interviewed 115 victims and...

Fresh case of Ebola recorded in Liberia

Liberia has been hit with a fresh case of Ebola. According to the Liberian Deputy Health Minister, Tolbert Nyensuah, a 19 year old man died of the deadly virus. And they are saying it's possible he infected close friends or relatives before he died. "A new case of Ebola has been reported in Margibi County. The person has died and was confirmed positive before death. He has been buried" Nyensuah said Family members of the deceased have been quarantined so...

Petr Cech Sent Death Threats And Labelled ‘A Snake’ By Angry Chelsea Fans Following Arsenal Move

New Arsenal signing Petr Cech may have left Chelsea with a heartfelt letter to the fans, but that has not stopped a small proportion of them sending the goalkeeper death threats and brandishing him a "snake". Cech completed a reported £11m transfer to the Gunners on Monday...

Breaking !!! CBN Extends BVN Registration Exercise

The Central Bank of Nigeria has extended the deadline for the ongoing registration for the Bank Verification number to 31st of October, 2015.

Merge Indebted Arik, Aero, Others To Form National Carrier; Joda Committee Tells Buhari

The Buhari administration may be considering merging all debtor airlines in the country into a national carrier, capable of serving the West and Central African regions, with Nigeria as the regional aviation hub. That is part of the recommendations by the Ahmed Joda transition committee, which submitted its report to President Muhammadu Buhari about two weeks ago. Six of Nigeria’s leading domestic airlines are currently bogged down by huge debts totalling almost N130 billion, forcing...

President Buhari Probes Military

There is tension in the Armed Forces as President Muhammadu Buhari may have ordered the military hierarchy to account for the number of weapons purchased to fight Boko Haram insurgency in the North-East. The President was also said to have ordered the Military High Command to make available records of total amount of money it received from the Federal Government to curb insurgency. Top military sources who spoke with Daily Sun, revealed that these and many...

Petr Cech Joins Arsenal: Key Dates For The Goalkeeper After Chelsea Move – Including Stamford Bridge Return On 19 September

Petr Cech has confirmed his move to Arsenal, moving for a reported £11m. The 33-year-old leaves the Blues after 11 trophy-laden years at the club. As a goodwill gesture, Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich allowed Cech to decide his own destination when he left, with PSG also interested. Cech's preference was to stay in...

Lai Mohammed Defends Buhari’s Govt

Pres. Buhari: Tackling insecurity, corruption and restoring Nigeria’s respect Being the text of a media parley hosted by the National Publicity Secretary of the APC, Alhaji Lai Mohammed, in Lagos on Tuesday, June 30th, 2015 Good afternoon gentlemen. I have arranged this interaction to rub minds with you, as always, on the situation of things in our country, top of which are the efforts being made by President Muhammadu Buhari to chart a new path for...

El Rufai, Three Others To Probe How NNPC Blew N3.8tr

How did theNigerian National Petroleum Corporation (NNPC) spend  N3.8 trillion in three years? This is the puzzle a four-man committee has been asked to resolve. The four “wise men” are: Governors Adams Oshiomhole (Edo), Ibrahim Dankwambo (Gombe), Udom Emmanuel (Akwa Ibom) and Nasir El-Rufai (Kaduna). Oshiomhole yesterday broke the news to State House correspondents after the National Economic Council (NEC) meeting chaired by Vice President Yemi Osinbajo at the Presidential Villa, Abuja.

Jega Bows Out, Hands Over To Ahmed Wali

The chairman of the Independent National Electoral Commission, Prof. Atthairu Jega has handed over the reins of the Independent National Electoral Commission, INEC to Ambassador Ahmed Wali as the Acting Chairman of the commission. Jega bowed out today after five years as the electoral body.

Gunmen Abducts Former Bayelsa Gov’s Wife

Unidentified gunmen have kidnapped Madam Martha Binabo, the wife of former Speaker of Bayelsa State House of Assembly and the state former Acting Governor, Rt. Hon Nestor Binabo. The incident, the latest in the series of high profile kidnaping in the state occurred at Agbura community in the outskirts of Yenagoa the state capital. The victim, aged 48, was abducted Monday at about 11.30am by five armed men clad in military camouflage in front of a company where she is also...

Sugary Drinks Kill 184,000 Adults Around The World Every Year, Says Study

Sugary drinks are killing 184,000 adults around the world every year, and should be eliminated from people’s diets, medical experts have warned. The global death toll from sugar-laden drinks – ranging from soft drinks to fruit smoothies – has been revealed in a new paper published in the American Heart Association’s Circulation journal. Most of the deaths are from people...

Teenager Commits Suicide In Imo

A 15-year-old senior secondary school student, identified as Paschal Egbosimba, committed suicide in  Imo State. Before his death the teenager was living with his mother and siblings, and was a senior secondary school student of Passion Model Secondary School, Egbu.  He used an electric extension cable to hang himself from a ceiling fan, when his mother was away for a night vigil. The late boy’s mother, who wept uncontrollably, was heard saying she never scolded the deceased, adding...

Photos: Inside The Home Of A Man Married To A Sex Doll

Dirk and Jenny aren’t like normal couples. Their sentiments are: to love one another, to support one another and to share a lot of their private time together. The only thing that sets them apart is Jenny is a ‘real doll’ that Dirk bought for 6,000 euros (that’s $6,750). Dirk and Jenny have a fixed daily schedule. Every evening at 6 pm they are sitting on the sofa...

French Beheading Suspect Denies Jihad Motivation

The man being held in France under suspicion of beheading his boss and trying to blow up a chemicals plant has told investigators there was no religious motivation behind the attack, a source close to the inquiry said on Monday. The source said Yassin Salhi, 35, told investigators he was not a jihadist and repeated earlier statements that he committed the act outside the southeast city of Lyon on Friday after a row with his...

Boko Haram Kills 603 Civilian JTF

Boko Haram militants have so far killed 603 Civilian Joint Task Force (CJTF) members in Borno State. The dead civilian JTF were attempting to prevent bomb strapped Boko Haram insurgents from detonating their bombs in large crowds. Barr Jubril Gunda, the legal adviser of the CJTF disclosed this on Monday during a two day summit on Security and Governance in the North East organised by the CLEEN Foundation in Maiduguri, the Borno State capital.

Mozambique Lifts Homosexuality, Abortion Ban

Mozambique decriminalized homosexuality Monday when a new penal code came into force that swept away old Portuguese colonial laws, in a victory for campaigners for gay rights. The old code, dating back to 1886, targeted anyone “who habitually engages in vices against nature” — though no known prosecutions took place after Mozambique became independent in 1975. Breaking the law was punishable by up to three years of hard labor. “It's a symbolic victory, as social inclusion...

Read President Buhari’s Speech To Govs Over Unpaid Salaries

ADDRESS BY HIS EXCELLENCY PRESIDENT MUHAMMADU BUHARI, AT THE OCCASION OF THE INAUGURATION OF THE NATIONAL ECONOMIC COUNCIL, HELD AT THE COUNCIL CHAMBER OF THE PRESIDENTIAL VILLA, ABUJA, ON MONDAY 29TH JUNE 2015. Protocol I am delighted to be here with you at this occasion on the inauguration of the National Economic Council (NEC) for this Administration. The National Economic Council was established by the provisions of the Constitution of the Federal Republic of Nigeria...

Is Beyoncé OBSESSED With J.Lo’s Style?

In fashion, as in life, everyone needs someone they can look up to. For some people, that person is Beyoncé. For Beyoncé, that person would appear to be Jennifer Lopez. Just look at all the outfits they have in common! 1. Distressed denim shorts suit with chain details and long, wavy hair. J.Lo performing at the Meydan Racecourse in Dubai on March 29, 2014. Beyoncé performing in New Jersey during her "On the Run" tour on...

Idris Elba Denies James Bond Reports: ‘It’s Just A Rumour, I Have No Idea’

Idris Elba has denied any truth behind reports that he is in line to play the first black

Kogi Elders Denies Endorsing Governor Idris Wada For Second Term

Against reports that some members of the Kogi Elders Council have endorsed the aspiration of Governor Idris Wada to run for a second term in the 2016 gubernatorial election scheduled to hold in the last quarter of the year, the elders of the state has denied endorsing the governor. The report has stated that notable names like Senator Tunde Ogbeha, former Governor of the state, Idris Wada and many others at a meeting in an undisclosed location endorsed the...

NDLEA Arraigns Drug Baron, Two Others In Court

The National Drug Law Enforcement Agency (NDLEA) on Monday arraigned a drug baron, Ikejiaku Sylvester Chukwunwe, before a Federal High Court in Awka. Chukwunwe, who was described as the most wanted drug trafficker in Anambra, was arraigned on 13 count charges. Also dragged to court by the agency were Oluchi Nduaguba and John Atuenyi. However, the trio pleaded not guilty to all the charges preferred against them by the prosecutor. Chukwunwe was charged for conspiracy...

Walmart Apologises For Making ISIS Cake

US retail chain Walmart has apologised after baking a cake containing the flag of ISIS. A spokesman for the company told ABC News that it was sorry for the error, which occurred after staff at a local store failed to recognise the image. "An associate in a local store did not know what the design meant and made a mistake. The cake should not have been made and we apologise," the spokesman said. The cake...

Tunisia Attack: ‘Paralysed’ Police Let Gunman Run Amok For Half An Hour, Says Witness

Armed policeman were “paralysed by fear” and allowed the Tunisian gunman Seifeddine Rezgui to freely massacre British tourists for more than half an hour before shooting him dead, witnesses claim. Even though two police officers arrived at the scene within minutes, it was said to have been around half an hour before Rezgui was killed. In that time, 38 people,...

At Least 20 Reported Dead After Military Plane Crashes

At least 20 people have been killed in the military plane crash in the Indonesian city of Medan, CNN affiliate Trans 7 TV reported, citing local hospital officials. At least five people have been killed after a military transport plane crashed in an Indonesian city shortly after takeoff, authorities said Tuesday. The C-130 Hercules aircraft went down with 12 people on board in Medan, the capital of North Sumatra province, said Indonesian military spokesman Maj....

Buhari Promises Improved Power Supply

President Muhammadu Buhari on Monday promised that his administration would give the highest possible priority to the rapid improvement of power supply across the country. According to a statement by his Special Adviser on Media and Publicity, Mr. Femi Adesina, the President spoke while granting audience to officials of CGGC, the Chinese construction company working on the Mambilla Power Project. Adesina quoted the President as saying that it was quite regrettable that power generation in...

El-Rufa’i Begins With Free Education In Sept And Upgrade Of 255 Hospitals

Kaduna state Governor, Malam Nasir El-Rufai, said at the weekend that his administration would start free education in primary and junior secondary school across the state when new session commences in September. He added that the state, in collaboration with General Electric Healthcare, would also refurbish and re-equip 255 hospitals. Addressing the first town hall meeting with residents at the weekend, he said his administration would commence upgrade and refurbishment of schools, training of teachers and renovation...

Buhari Orders All State Governors To Settle Unpaid Salaries Of Workers In Their States

While inaugurating the National Economic Council in the Abuja earlier today, President Buhari charged all the state governors present at the meeting to endeavour to settle the unpaid salaries of civil servants in their states. He asked the state governors to look inwards and find more ways to increase their Internally Generated Revenue...

FG Probes N3.8trn Missing Oil Funds

A panel of four governors was, yesterday, constituted to probe the affairs of the Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation, NNPC, following revelations that the corporation withheld N3.8 trillion of the N8.1 trillion generated from oil receipts. The committee comprising governors of Gombe, Edo, Akwa Ibom and Kaduna states is also to unravel circumstances of the disappearance of another $2.1 billion which was allegedly unilaterally withdrawn by the Goodluck Jonathan administration in the last six months of its...

Overweight Woman Flaunts Her New Muscular Physique

An overweight 27 year old Canadian woman shed a third of her body weight, she went from being overweight in high school to placing in national bodybuilding tournaments. Trista Elaschuk who used to weigh 195lbs now weighs only 130lbs and is now participating in various bodybuilding competitions. Trista said she decided to lose weight after...

A Mathematical Formula Reveals The Secret To Lasting Relationships

If you're fortunate enough to find someone you want to settle down with forever, the next question is: How do you achieve happily ever after? According to mathematician Hannah Fry, it may come down to a simple formula. Fry, who works at the UCL Centre for Advanced Spatial Analysis in London, explains in her 2014 TED Talk and recently released book, "The Mathematics of Love," that the...

’30 Days In Atlanta’ Wins Four Awards At The Ghanaian Golden Movie Awards

West Africa's Highest grossing movie, 30 Days In Atlanta won 4 awards from 15 Nominations at the maiden edition of the 'Golden Movie Awards' held on Saturday, June 27, at the State House Banquet Hall, Ghana. This is coming just as AY the Producer of the Movie is preparing to do a sequel with the Hollywood and Nollywood Stars in August, here in Nigeria.

Tour Guide Reveals Moment He Threw An Ashtray At The Tunisian Gunman, In A Bid To Save Tourists

The man, known only as Mahdi (top left) attempted to thwart the killer by throwing an ashtray at his head after seeing him gun down dozens of tourists as they sunbathed on Friday. The 26-year-old tour guide has since told of trying to pile tourists into a little fishing boat to escape the beach, describing those murdered as 'like family'. He said the fear of losing his job was what spurred him to attack Seifeddine Rezgui, the...

Caitlyn Jenner Dines With New Transgender Women Squad (PHOTO)

Caitlyn Jenner continued living her best life at New York City's Pride celebration, enjoying a dinner with a few notable transgender women on Sunday night. After enjoying the parade, Caitlyn dined with Candis Cayne, Chandi Moore, Geena Rocero, Allie Hoffman, Sam Feder, Trace Lysette, Barbara CarRellas, and Trace Lysette. Caitlyn rarely tweets, but when she does it is pure magic. Such a fun...

Mozambique Scraps Ban On Same- Sex Marriage!

Mozambique decriminalized homosexuality Monday when a new penal code came into force that swept away old Portuguese colonial laws, in a victory for campaigners for gay rights. The old code, dating back to 1886, targeted anyone “who habitually engages in vices against nature” — though no known prosecutions took place after Mozambique became independent in 1975. Breaking the law was punishable by up to three years of hard labor. “It's a symbolic victory, as social inclusion remains the main challenge,”...

Saraki, Dogara Blast Ex-APC Chairman

The Senate President, Dr. Bukola Saraki and the Speaker of the House of Representatives, Hon. Yakubu Dogara, yesterday, debunked claims by the former Interim National Chairman of the All Progressives Congress, APC, Chief Bisi Akande that their election as Senate President and Speaker was facilitated by oil barons describing the allegation as baseless, false and unbecoming of a respected statesman. The duo also said the allegation levelled against them was lacking in substance and merit and...

”I Feel No Remorse For The Death Of Those Demons” – Mum Who Killed Her 2 Kids

A mother who killed two of her children leaving their bodies in her kitchen freezer has pleaded guilty to their murders saying: “I don’t feel no remorse for the death of them demons.” Mitchelle Blair of Detroit, Michigan, callously admitted abusing her 13-year-old daughter Stoni Blair and nine-year-old Stephen Berry, before their deaths.The bodies of the children were discovered in a deep freezer at her apartment on May 24 when bailiffs arrived to evict her.The mother has...

Deputy Chair Of Boko Haram Victims’ Support Committee Resigns

Fola Adeola, the Deputy Chairman of the committee on the Victims Support Fund has resigned. The fund was set by the immediate past administration to pool resources and provide support to victims of Boko Haram insurgency and other similar clashes. Mr. Adeola, a former Vice-Presidential candidate, who tendered his resignation last Monday to the Chairman of the committee, Theophilus Danguma, did not give any reason for quitting. Mr. Adeola could not be reached for comment as...

Kim Jong-Un Shows Off Airport Designed By Architect He Likely Had Executed

North Korean leader Kim Jong Un may have executed the chief architect of  the  new international Pyongyang airport...This news comes after he was pictured touring the building with his wife last week(above)..According to reports, the architect may have been  executed because Kim didn’t like the design. The project is the country’s latest bid to appeal to potential tourists since Kim ascended to power in North Korea three years ago and features a jewellery store, coffee bar, a pharmacy,...

ISIS Beheads Women For The First Time In Syria

Monitor says ISIS killed two women and their husbands in Syria's Deir Ezzor province after they sought health remedies.  ISIS has beheaded two women for the first time, in eastern Syria's Deir Ezzor province, a monitoring group said. The UK-based Syrian Observatory for Human Rights said on Tuesday that ISIS beheaded the two women and their two husbands after accusing them of using "magic for medicine". It is not known what non-traditional health remedy...

Twisted And Evil: Parents Of ISIS Bride Slam Her Poem Praising The Tunisian Beach Terrorist Attack

 The family of a British woman who fled to join Islamic State in Syria have said they are 'sickened' by a poem she wrote praising the massacre in Tunisia and attacks in Kuwait and France. Former private schoolgirl Aqsa Mahmood left her home in Glasgow in November 2013 and married a militant from the terror group in February last year. She has since posted a series of radical messages , including a call for others to copy the murder...

You Can’t Blackmail Us, PDP Tells Buhari

The Peoples Democratic Party, PDP, has said that no amount of “intimidation, blackmail and propaganda” by the Presidency would stop it from demanding that President Muhammadu Buhari kick-starts government and commence implementation of his campaign promises for which he was voted into office. PDP had on Sunday said that Mr. Buhari’s first 30 days in office saw Nigeria only in motion without movement. Mr. Buhari promptly replied the PDP saying he is taking his time...

Jude Okoye Supports Wizkid For Calling Out Organisers Of BET Awards

A few hours ago,Wizkid explained why he did not attend the BET nominee parties and pre-award shows.He said he wouldn't do that knowing the award for the best International African Act is given backstage .. Jude Okoye has agreed with him..Missed the earlier tweets, read below...

Buhari Orders Re-Issuance Of Villa Press Pass To Deutsche Welle Correspondent

President Muhammadu Buhari on Monday ordered the re-issuance of Presidential Villa Press Pass to Deutsche Welle correspondent, Mallam Ubale Musa, who was expelled from villa by the previous administration. The Special Adviser on Media and Publicity to the President, Mr Femi Adesina, disclosed this while presenting the re-issued villa press pass to Musa at the Presidential Villa, Abuja. Adesina said that Musa’s re-accreditation as a...

APC Insists On Ekweremadu’s Removal

The leadership of the All Progressives Congress on Monday insisted on removing the Deputy Senate President, Ike Ekweremadu, of the minority Peoples Democratic Party. Punch learnt on Monday that the ruling APC was still miffed that Ekweremadu emerged as the deputy senate president and had vowed never to allow “a senator from a minority party take over the duties statutorily assigned for the majority party.” A leader of the APC, who spoke on...

NNPC Yet To Remit N3.5trn Into Federation Account -Oshiomhole

Edo State Governor, Adams Oshiomhole has revealed that the Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation (NNPC) is yet to remit $3.5trillion in the Federal Government coffers between 2012 and 2015. Oshiomhole who is a member of a four-man committee constituted to go through the books of the NNPC and Excess Crude as well as the Federation Account from 2012 to May 2015 stated this after the inauguration of the National Executive Council in Abuja on Monday. The Edo governor said it was the...

G7 Countries To Support Nigerian Military With Equipment

The Nigerian President, Muhammadu Buhari, has said that the Group of seven (G7) countries will be supporting Nigeria’s military with equipment in its fight against surging terrorism. The G7 consists of Canada, France, Germany, Italy, Japan, the United Kingdom, and the United States. Speaking to governors at the inauguration of the National Economic Summit at the Presidential Villa on Monday, Mr. Buhari said, “The requirements of the military have been prepared by the Service Chiefs...

Oil Barons Didn’t Influence My Emergence- Saraki

Senate President, Bukola Saraki, has denied reports that Nigerians associated with dubious claims in the infamous oil subsidy influenced his election as President of the eighth Senate. According to his media office, the Senate President said such reports were wrong and mischievous. He further denounced such rumours as false, untrue and calculated mischief. “Again, the attention of the Senate President Bukola Saraki has been drawn to a malicious, false and totally reprehensible news report, wherein it...

‘NIMASA, NPA, NCC not paying monies generated to FG account’ – Yari

Zamfara governor and the Chairman of the Governors Forum, Abdulaziz Yari has stated that revenue generating agencies like NIMASA, NPA and the NCC have not been paying monies generated from their agencies to the federation account as required by the constitution. Speaking on Monday to State House Correspondents, Yari made this declaration after a four-man committee (consisting of  Governor Yari alongside Governor Adams Oshimhole of Edo, Governor Nasir El-Rufai of Kaduna and Governor Emmanuel Udom of Akwa Ibom) was constituted...

‘Stigmatise HIV/AIDS Patients, Risk Six-Months Jail Term’

In its commitment to enforcing the rights of the people living with HIV and AIDS , the Ondo State Government has warned that anybody caught discriminating against the PLWA in the areas of employment, medical treatment, hiring, assignment, promotion, demotion, transfer, retirement, among others, would face the law. The Secretary to the Ondo State Government and Chairman, Ondo State Agency for the Control of AIDS, Dr. Aderotimi Adelola, stated this in a statement on Monday.

Aso Rock Conducts Comprehensive Audit Of Security Personnel

Authorities of the Presidential Villa, Abuja have ordered a comprehensive audit of security personnel and forces deployed to the villa, necessitated by the ongoing inter-agency rivalry in the Villa. According to a memo signed by the Aide-De-Camp to the President, Lt. Col. Lawal Abubakar, the exercise was needed for “accountability and deployment.” The memo dated June 25, 2015 read, “Request for strength returns of security personnel and forces deployed within the Presidential Villa, Abuja.” “The need for proper accountability by all security...

Ekweremadu Must Be Removed – APC Insists

The leadership of the All Progressives Congress on Monday insisted on removing the Deputy Senate President, Ike Ekweremadu, of the minority Peoples Democratic Party. Punch correspondents learnt on Monday that the ruling APC was still miffed that Ekweremadu emerged as the deputy senate president and had vowed never to allow “a senator from a minority party take over the duties statutorily assigned for the majority party.” A leader of the APC, who spoke on condition...