Angry Nigerian Builds Nuclear Weapon, Threatens To Blow Up National Assembly
Published:12 Jun, 2012
An angry Nigerian, who simply identified himself as Man of Native God has declared that he is currently building a nuclear weapon in Lagos and has declared his intention to blow up the National Assembly premises in Abuja in protest against the corruption and misgovernance of the occupiers of the assembly. In a statement which he issued on the Punch website early this morning in response to a publication by the newpaper in Hon Farouk Lawan was said to have admitted collecting $500,000 from businessman Femi Otedola to influence the report of the House of Representatives Adhoc Committee on Fuel Subsidy, Man of Native God threatened that the horror of Hiroshima and Nagasaki will be nothing compared to the terror he is set to unleash on the members of Nigeria’s ruling class. The details of his statement are given below:
Man of Native God June 12, 2012 at 3:50 am
Nigeria.! Nigeria..!! Nigeria…!!! How many times did I call you?
I don’t need an Intercontinental Ballistic Missile (Topol-M or SS-18 Satan)
I don’t need an Intermediate Range Ballistic Missile (Agni-5)
I don’t need a cruise missile (Tomahawk or Iskander)
I don’t need a mobile missile launcher.
I don’t need a nuclear powered aircraft carrier (USS Nimitz or Admiral Kuznetsov)
I don’t need a nuclear powered ballistic submarine (HMS Vigilant or USS Pennsylvania)
I don’t need a strategic bomber (B2-Spirit or Tupolev Tu-160 Blackjack)
I don’t need a stealth bomber or a 5th-Gen fighter jet (F-22 Raptor or Sukhoi Su-35)
All I need is ONE working nuclear warhead..! I wouldn’t mind transporting and delivering the package BY HAND to the National Assembly Complex. Blow up that shrine of corruption and put an end to this geographical expression!
How can I be alive, a Man of Native God like myself, and idiots and chickens would be stealing me dry both in broad daylight and pitch darkness? The earlier we finalise this geographic divorce the better for we. The clock is ticking. I am already synthesising and enriching Plutonium-239 here in Lagos. Oh yes! If you like go and invite the IAEA and the UN Security Council. Tell them to search and comb all of LAGOS for “clandestine nuclear weapons activities”. They won’t find me. Once I enrich up to weapons grade level (90%), Hiroshima will be child’s play. Nagasaki will be like a game of Nintendo. This country will hear a very Big Bang!!
I don tell una my mind. People wey get ear, make them hear.
MAN of NATIVE GOD . . .