WHO SHALL NARRATE OUR CHRONICLES?

Published:18 Apr, 2012

WHO SHALL NARRATE OUR CHRONICLES?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Who shall narrate our chronicles?

Of the times we lived in huts and caves

Wrapped in leaves as the elements battered our delicate skins

Fashioned tools and weapons with stones and sticks

Conquered beasts and terrains with our bare hands

Created communities and appointed leaders from amongst us

Buried our children as they died of unknown diseases

Vainly battled against malevolent forces

Our futile sacrifices to dead gods recursively unacknowledged

Our voodoo and jinxes ineffective

A time of PLAGUES, EPIDEMICS and FAMINE

 

 

Who shall narrate our chronicles?

Of our capture and imprisonment on our own soil

By the fair-pigmented demon

Our exile to an unknown land

Forced to work amidst canes of sugar and apples of pine

Our ingestive apertures sealed with impenetrable latches

As we built modern “Babel towers,”

Died within the rows and ridges

Buried enmass in colossal doors in the floor

Correctively raped by our depraved taskmasters

Ironically modeled into gladiators for their pleasure

As we toiled amidst blood and sand in the arena much to their sick delight

A time of OPPRESSION, SUBJUGATION and DOMINATION!

 

 

Who shall narrate our chronicles?

Of our return from ostracism

The demise of our valiant heroes

Whose candor and nerve contributed to their expiration,

Our reclamation of our isolated domains,

The rebuildings and recoveries of seized territories,

Our struggles and tussles for total freedom from our bleached captors

Our plots and coups against the hands of tyranny,

Our amalgamation and unification after relentless toil,

As the white-green striped emblem danced in the skies.

The replacement of our conquerors with our liberators,

Those we put all our hopes in.

Their betrayal and perfidy

As our costs of living soared calamitously.

Our security degenerated to a new low.

A time of DESPAIR, DISILLUSIONMENT and DESPODENCY!

 

 

Who shall narrate our chronicles?

Of the upheaval by the camoflagued warlords,

The penetration of government echelons by smart illiterates,

The silence in the streets of all and sundry,

The hushed whispers in chambers and closets,

The cries, torture and deaths in prison cells,

The satirical lyrics by the brave panted crusader,

his euphony and message striking a chord.

The spicy words of the brilliant white-haired intellectual,

As he voiced his disapproval time and again

The hangings and slaughters of the martyrs

As the powers that be rotated the control amongst themselves.

A time of TREACHERY, FEAR and APPREHENSION!

 

 

Who shall narrate our chronicles?

Of the return of the flowing garment to supremacy

After the demise of the apple-munching fiend

and the completion of a solar revolution by the meek legionnaire.

Of the wastes and mismanagements

Draining away our hopes and expectations

The exponential augmentation of living costs,

The scarcity of the once abundant energy fuel,

The hikes in prices of the previously abundant grains

The corruption and infiltration by sensational high-ranking petty thieves,

The passing of “The Umbrella” from idiot to fool to buffoon,

The kidnaps and tussles in the South

The cries for liberation in the East

The voiceless dependence on prayers in the West

The bombings and beheadings in the North

The pointless agendas and policies

The incessant Massacre of the lingua franca by the Queen Bee

The continued martial hold on the nation by a fearsome trio

The mishaps and strifes and rituals.

A time of ECLECTIC and OUTLANDISH IDIOSYNCRACIES!

 

 

Who shall narrate our chronicles?

When finally we cease to be

When all that’s left is dust and smoke

Our lands finally blown apart

Our culture completely disintegrated

And aliens our lands gradually rebuild

Who shall be left to tell these stories?

And who indeed shall be left to listen?

 

 

 

Oreoluwa Aboluwarin

Abeokuta Nigeria

I blog at www.aboluwarin.com

Join me on twitter: @oreoluwade

  • Shadado

    An Excellent, Explicit Explanans. Splendid Splendor.

  • Emmanuel

    great piece, thot proviking

  • Femi

    cool stuff…. who flow is superb! who will indeed be left to listen… dats d more pertinent question..

  • http://archippusacumen.wordpress.com @clarinet1803

    Femi thanks! Yeah, you’re spot on…who shall indeed be left to listen. I hope we don’t all perish with the wave of idiocy coursing through the land before a change is made.

  • Adenipekun Oludamailare

    Who shall narrate our chronicles of times when politically senseless idiots held our nation at ransom and left ????e state coffers prostrate…who shall narrate our chronicles? Incredible piece as always! Keep it cool bro!

  • http://archippusacumen.wordpress.com @clarinet1803

    Thanks Damilare, you are gracious in doling out praise. God save us in this country!

  • Oreofe

    Wow… the poetic flair blows my mind.. Great piece!

  • Adesoji

    Yeah, right thinking…

  • phunbiebabs

    Nice work there. Its cool.

  • detola

    A wonderfully worded description of our predicament in dis country…wish our leaders cud read dis n think postively….n we youths too cos we d 2mao of dis country

  • Mstee

    Wow,dis piece is luvly…kudos

  • seyifunmi

    Tis gud someone is writin abt dis….hu indeed shall narate our chronicles

  • Francis

    Wow!its been a while i read a piece like this,my heart is melted.nice work.

  • http://archippusacumen.wordpress.com @clarinet1803

    Thanks francis and seyifunmi…we all should go out with whatever we have, our voices, ideas or “the pens” things must change for the better.

  • Daniel

    Wow! Seems to me you have doom already pictured in your mind. There may be hope for us yet you know.

  • john

    This is really cool

  • Abayomi

    *sigh* lot to say bt amma kip it simple..onpoint and kudos..kip it up.

  • Olamide

    Cudnt take my eyes off this piece…good job by the writer.

  • oredavids

    Awesome post;simple, hilarious and thought provoking

  • febisola

    This is a great piece from my really intelligent friend.Wouldn’t expect any less.Keep it up brov!Hope to see more of this soon.

  • onyemachi D. Emeka

    This is just great! Keep it up Demola.

  • GEE

    Wonderful piece

  • abass

    This is great how i wish our leaders should read through mayb it’s going ???? touch them……..i really appreciate this may god increase ??U?????? knowledge

  • http://archippusacumen.wordpress.com @clarinet1803

    Thanks sirs Gee and Abass and Amen to your prayers for me, our leaders and the country at large.

  • Ben

    Explosive…truly…wu shal narrate our chronicles…

  • Ben

    Poetically Explosive lamentation of the Nigerian situation…truly…who shall narrate our chronicles…
    @clarinet1803…Ore…kip spitn…kudos!

  • ayo weke

    You did capture the era of the slave trade well, its seemed to me like I was re-living that time with our fathers while reading that particular part

  • http://archippusacumen.wordpress.com @clarinet1803

    Thanks Ayo Weke.

  • aya oba

    Nice1…..Buh d fact stil remains dat, d S???????????? called civilisation has brot more harm to us in dis country.Tinz r getting worse by d day, may God help us.

  • Ibiyemi Abisola

    Keep up d good work. It is a nice piece.

  • Theophilus

    I get impressed everytime I see good writers penning down their thoughts in articulate formats like this. Just stumbled upon the link and said to check it out and I haven’t been disappointed. Good job! Keep the ink flowing.

  • damyshow

    I must say am impressed with the use of words… Hnnmmmm…. Who shall narate “OURS” …… Only God can help this country!! Humans will always be human!

  • jerry

    i am very impressed wit the write up…..it makes me wanna think of a young wole soyinka coming up…..nice piece

  • jumibi

    Its high time we take proactive actions, be doers instead of just thinkers

  • Abiola S Akolade

    This is really great. We can only trust God to keep us from this present one which is hitching.

  • Abiola Akolade Samuel

    This is great and really am expecting this greatness in you shown.

  • Jumoke

    Great piece. If only this fear of impending doom will inspire us to be proactive and start a revolution now.

  • fervency Osagie.

    A beautiful, reflective write with a plaintive strain.

  • http://archippusacumen.wordpress.com @clarinet1803

    Thanks Ferv! Glad you could read despite ur schedule esp with the exams. Wish I could have drawn from your well of words to spice this up. Really appreciate ur comment.

  • eyitayo

    Dis is wonderful….umbrella from idiot to fool to buffoon….right on bro. I luv dis

  • wale

    I agree totally wiv wat jerry said….young wole soyinka

  • Big Mayor

    Always Appreciate a gud write up if o ever get to actuali read one … Keep up d goodwork son 😀

  • Seun Hunge

    Who shall tell our chronicles? Who will tel the next generation? Nice write-up, well chronicled. Reminds me of the griot of French West Africa. Bon enchainement.

  • ibukun

    This is a piece full of thought…….and it leaves me thinking of d fact dat d pple dat r supposed to change d face of dis problems are d ones sinking in d problem, all we can hope for is dat one day we will look back and say yes we made it, and also raise our heads high above never to look down……………

  • http://archippusacumen.wordpress.com @clarinet1803

    Yes Ibukun! Exactly! It’s only hope that prevents from being ashamed. I just pray we don’t put all our eggs in the basket of hope alone.

  • http://archippusacumen.wordpress.com @clarinet1803

    Eyitayo, Wale and Hunge, words fail me to describe how much I appreciate you. Big-Mayor, well in that case, thanks Dad!

  • ademowo omotunde

    A very nice piece.. Cool one….

  • niyi

    choice of words were perfect and it shows how egocentric our ”so called leaders could be.”No one is prepared to make that change.God bless us still

  • laolu

    A stroke a genius. Simple style with a lot to gain from it. Keep it up…

  • laolu

    A stroke of genius. Simple style with a lot to gain from it. Keep it up…

  • Niyi

    And great work there.More grace to do more.amen.

  • Mojisola

    Hmmn!We truly nid a heaven sent n i still beliv God will save us frm dis our predicaments, 1dy…nyc piece, dear…More ink in ur pen!

  • Aytee

    True but sad tale expressing what has been! I believe what’ll be is far brighter.
    Great piece bro,your choice of words together with your unreserved and flamboyant use of them brings so much to be envied in you. You are definately meant for the top

  • http://archippusacumen.wordpress.com @clarinet1803

    Thanks a lot Aytee. We sure shall meet at the top. I’m pray that top will be in this land also, we must possess our possesions and live to tell the stories to the coming generations.

  • Richard

    I was particularly intrigued by your wordplay. Thought provoking. Truth revealing. Mind stretching. An eye opener. A reality check: who shall indeed narrate our chronicles? Nice work Ademola.

  • Adebayo marcus

    superb,what an excellent and perfect article,the sky simply ur starting point.

  • @BeeHorDun1

    As a Linguist,I will have to first of all commend your choice of words. Simple vocabulary that can be easily understood by an average reader. Keep it up Bruv. Besides,the central theme of the blog is also thought provoking. I feel this is the time for we youths to come into action. The violent takes it by force. We can no longer be fooled that we are the leaders of tomorrow by our set of rulers(not leaders).When will the ‘tomorrow’ eventually come? If we don’t do this,I’m very sure posterity will not forgive us.
    @AyTee,what will be is far brighter if positive minded lads like you and I come in to proof that we are the change really needed. If we don’t,the question will still remain; who will tell our chronicles?
    OreOluwa,keep up the good work. GOD Bless & Keep You,Amen.

  • holuwartowbee

    Fabulous composition! I sincerely hope time does not run out before our story changes…keep at it bro!

  • @clarinet1803

    Thanks a great deal beehordun1. I’m awed by your praise for me. We all need to take a stand just like you said. I hope more people join the queue of youths ready to take the country by storm. Adversity shall not prevail!

  • kunle aminu

    Everyone on my twitter timeline needs to see this. Great job sir!

  • Monsieur Victure

    C’est bon Monsieur! Fabulous lines of imagination exhibited. Always love reading your works. Lol @ the apple munching fiend. Abacha!!!

  • busayt

    Jeez dis is great man. Dis is surely a God given inspiration

  • @geelordmaster

    It is awesome……good thoughts, great work

  • Lade

    Great piece! Totally on point

  • Dhaymow

    Good job brother! Always knew you had it in you. I think I’d have to recommend you to Uncle Wole as a prodigy. 😀

  • Anthony

    Fantastic Ore! Good to see you’re maximising your God-given skills. This message and many other similar ones need to get to those people in high places.

  • Tosin

    Nice one bro! I love your use of words, the flow and all! You are indeed a star!

  • http://peluoluwa.blogspot.com/ Pearls

    He’s done it again! ‘the Einstein of poetry’ 😀 great work man. Delving into history like that and bringing it home to the present now..takes your mind on a virtual journey into time. Good choice of words, fantastic metaphors, nice interplay of different literary devices making it complex yet simple.
    Couldn’t help but smile @ “..the passing of the Umblerra…” oops umbrella. Keep up the good work bro. I said it before and I’ma say it again “there’s still a whole lot more in there” just keep ’em coming.

  • @clarinet1803

    Wow! I’m thrilled pearls. All that for just me? Well, I hope I can continue to bring out the best. Help tell tosin I said thanks too. Appreciate u gals more than you’d ever know. BTW I was expecting you participate in superbloggers too. It’s not too late though, entries are still flooding in. I know you have it in you. XOXO

  • fisayotalabi

    Awesome piece. Each line carries different scenes and revelations. Very nice piece.

  • Mayowa

    Awesome.a must read 4 evry1.kip d firin burnin bro

  • Adeboya Opeyemi

    This is a nice piece of writing, keep it up.

  • @benmorka

    D last part especially strikes a cord….more of like ”when we av wiping out eachoda and all we stand for…of who wld b left 2talk/listen or 2even propagate/enjoy d issue dat birthed the fights…
    God help us not to end us…

  • okikiola

    May God ave mercy on us

  • http://www.machaconsulting.blogspot.com jesuit

    This is what am talking about! More ink to your pen Ore!

  • Busari Azeez Olamide

    This write up is great. I love ur choice of words. Keep it up bro

  • Adegbesan Kayode

    Simply classical.

  • http://www.akinolaakindamola.co.nr Akindamola Daniel Akinola

    This is just profound bro.
    You are simply unbelievable with the pen.

  • omotayo simisola alex-adedeji

    you have said it all, surely some day ppl lyk u shall narrate our chronicle and ppl lyk us shall be there to listen and jointly we shall make the needed changes. Thank God there are youths that are still totful in this nation,it seems we still av hope as a nation.

  • Temitope Fajem

    good work and write-up. keep it up.

  • Oludayo Pelumi

    This is poetry per excellence. How I wish our leaders can pick from the stories shared of victories acquired by shear courage aand perseverance under the force of unity. I pray somebody incorporates this masterpiece in our school literature curricula.

  • @clarinet1803

    Thanks! Can’t appreciate you guys enough for the comments. @ Dayo Pelumi hmmn! Maybe I’d start from my school when I establish it. *smiles* Hopefully by then, a better chapter would have been written in our history.

  • http://orenotes.blogspot.com Ore

    We need to narrate our chronicles while we can. We can’t leave it to anyone else.

    Wonderful poem.

  • Emma

    Great piece sire, keep it up!

  • oreofe

    This is great work Ore,really great work. Keep it up, u have a real gift.

  • olugbenga

    Good job bro… This is more than incredible

  • odebunmi omotolani

    This is ‘above par’… Well articulated! kudos and more grace.

  • OLUSOLA

    This is fantastic with deep thought ,more of this inspiration IJN

  • tinuke

    This is a good piece, I hope we will be able to rewrite our story someday and narrate a well scripted chronicle for the future generations

  • http://eseosaid@blogspot.com Eseosa Joie

    This is beautiful work. I was able to identify most of the characters painted with such vivid strokes. Keep up the good work.

  • olupitan dada

    G??ð job! A masterpiece

  • Jabal

    Gr8, Attaboy! You Have Deeply Narrated It All, Now; “Who Shall ERADICATE OUR LAND” ???

  • http://wwww.zebbook.wordpress.com zebbook

    No doubt one of the best works of poetry I have had the opportunity to come across in recent times, I see the writer going places with this style and delivery. Well done bro

  • @clarinet1803

    Thanks zebbook. Honestly, coming from you, this gives me an overwhelming feeling, gladdens my heart. What can I say, I’ve been studying your works a lot, I believe you’re destined for the top likewise, keep up the good work.

  • @deeva_bee

    Nice piece Ore. N its indeed very totful. Exact situation of d country in simple carefully choosen words. Keep up d good work.

  • omowumi

    Great job bro. Keep it up

  • http://www.twitter.com/@dunnieK dunnieK

    U really spoke my mind.xcpt I don’t knw ow 2 write them out.on point,and really nice.tnk u. questions we shld ask ourslvs. (Y)

  • @clarinet1803

    @DunnieK thanks. Well, bout not knowing how to put them down, I think you’re underestimating yourself. JUST WRITE!!! Sometimes it won’t make sense but go back and review it time and time again, I’m sure u’d be amazed at what u can accomplish.

  • feyi

    Simply amazing!I will say again that your choice of words is just wonderful.and this piece is challenging.Good job!!

  • Shope

    The heart speaks. Nice. Keep it up.

  • GRANT

    Wow, wow, wow!!! This piece’s really *insert adjective* – whaaat!! I was at a book reading recently and the published poet who performed has nothing on you, which goes to show your potential, limitless I tell you. It was an honor reading this – you got a new follower for your blog. Nice one Bro, nice one.

  • Femo

    cool stuff…

  • Adeyanju Tolu

    Bro,this is a job well done. See you at the top

  • marian

    Hmmmm food for tot

  • Olamofe wale

    wow this is indeed a mind reflecting call to our beginning as Africans, the hurdles we ave surmounted and the glorious hope of a future ahead. Tanks man, it is really patrotic of u

  • http://fbilash@yahoo.com Olufunmbi

    this is superb!!!

  • http://fbilash@yahoo.com Olufunmbi

    this is superb and splendid!!!

  • Adedolapo Aramide

    Nice piece bro…

  • http://aragamohammed.wordpress.com Araga Mohammed Dahiru

    With this i can go to bed and snore to the core.Thanks bro and niece piece.May i copy please?

  • http://thisiseseosa.wordpress.com thisisEseosa

    Brilliant. I just had to say that again!

  • @clarinet1803

    @araga By all means pls. @eseosa thanks so much. I really appreciate you.

  • http://akinsoke.blogspot.com olumide

    Great material…we already have in u one of those who will do the narration…hmmm. An encapsulation of our annals…big ups!

  • tobi aka tdon

    I love dis. Thumbs up man. Damn!!!!! Nigerians got talent. I see a brighter future. Wasn’t interested earlier buh wen i read it i had to read it anoda 3 times. Masterpiece indeed. U hav a fan. I bet u do. *my head dey swell for u oo* wish i was d one. Keep it up man.

  • Emma

    Great piece!

  • Pemi

    This is a great piece, excellent work. This should go international… Keep it up.

  • http://yisaadeiza.wordpress.com yisaadeiza

    Nice one bro!

  • http://www.gbolubunmi.com Gboluwaga Olubunmi

    This is a nice piece…
    Captures the whole story…
    I just thought for a second… It might be good to include a reflection on how things got this bad…the lackadaisical behavior of the aging generation…

    Nevertheless…
    This is a master class.
    Let us hope we will start to learn that working collectively while respecting each other’s ideas. Hopefully, we can be here to tell our own good story.
    – @gbolubunmi

  • lawrence

    Brilliant

  • Moody Victor

    An excellent piece. Like all good stories, it leaves us with questions to ponder and makes for sincere introspection. I would only encourage greater attention to versification(stanza lengths, line beginnings)and contextual usage of certain words. I admire your thought process.

  • oreoluwade

    Thanks Victor, yeah I agree more could have been done to make the stanza lengths identical.
    Thanks everyone so far for your comments, I truly appreciate you.

  • Yemisi

    This is a really good one…
    Well articulated!

  • deoye irefin

    Job well done..nice combination of words!!!

  • David

    Good read. I’ve read it more than twice now but I still always love coming back to read. It’s a simple summary of the state of things without necessarily going out of one’s way to be “very political.” Hope we are left to narrate these chronicles like you’ve said and hopefully, our kids and descendants would be left to listen.

  • Ayobami

    *deep sigh* Onpoint bro….great piece #Bless

  • wale

    The passing of the umbrella from idiot to fool to bufoon . . . Interesting read.

  • Kabolobari Benakole

    Here, Oreoluwade, share this poem…

    Silences
    by John Montague

    for Elizabeth

    1
    Poetry is a weapon, and should be used,
    though not in the crudity of violence.
    It is a prayer before an unknown altar,
    a spell to bless the silence.

    2
    There is a music beyond all this,
    beyond all forms of grievance,
    where anger lays its muzzle down
    into the lap of silence.

    3
    Or some butterfly script,
    fathomed only by the other,
    as supple fingers draw
    a silent message from the tangible.

    Do you think it says anything about style and purpose in poetry? And how does your conclusion impact you?

  • http://www.aboluwarin.com oreoluwade

    Thanks kabolobari, I love your comment/criticism :D, afterall that’s what the comments are designed for, to make one a better writer. I agree with you that poetry’s quite a tool to “make anger lay its muzzle down in the laps of silence” however, I believe it is at the same time a way to express the state of the heart at some point or another, hence, one might not be seeing a ‘hopeful’ scenario when one scribbles down a few lines. Believe me, I love beautiful endings a lot and I try to channel my writings as such occasionally. I’d love to share the poem you wrote above as such. Once again, I truly appreciate your reading, commenting as well as sharing. Be there!

  • Abdulmalik

    your poem is beautiful, sad, compelling and deep. You can feel the hands of Achebe, Clarke and Soyinka on it… African literature and folklore shall not be lost with minds like yours

  • http://www.aboluwarin.com oreoluwade

    Thanks for commenting Abdulmalik. Glad you found it compelling.

  • Agiteh Ibtahim

    Absolutely brilliant poem with loads of messages in it… That is exactly what we need to ask ourselves at this point in time… Keep it up!

  • Tosin

    Vedette formidable! Really great work you’ve done with this piece!

  • santadebla

    The cyclicality of d Nigerian person perfectly captured in d piece.We r bck to where we left

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The Nigeria Labour Congress (NLC) Kogi chapter, has said that the state workforce would not participate in the fresh screening as ordered by the government.     The state chairman of NLC, Mr Onuh Edoka, made the statement on Thursday in Lokoja while addressing a press conference.   He gave the government up till Feb. 10 to pay the Sept. 2015 salaries of workers or face industrial action.     Edoka accused the government of insincerity in its dealing with workers.     He said that the issue of fresh...

Rihanna To Perform At The Grammys

Ok it's official, Bad Girl Riri is going to lit the upcoming 58th Grammys Award. The diva shared the news on her Instagram page. The 58th Grammys Award will be held on the 15th of February. See her post below:

Tinubu Withdraws Suit Against AIT After Apology For Embarrassing Documentary

The African Independent Television has apologized to Bola Tinubu, a national leader of the ruling All Progressives Congress, for a documentary it aired before last year’s general election. In a letter of apology tendered before a Lagos High Court on Friday, Daar Communications, the owners of the TV station, said they hold Mr. Tinubu in high esteem. “Daar Communications Plc acknowledges that Asiwaju Bola Ahmed Tinubu is an outstanding political leader of unblemished character and...

Muslim Teen Defies Tradition To Become First Hijab-Wearing Ballerina

With a dream of becoming the first hijab-wearing Muslim ballerina, 14-year-old Stephanie Kurlow recently launched a fundraising page in the hopes of pulling together more than $7,000 so she can get her certification to open a performing arts program in her native Sydney because, she has said, “I don’t want certain people who are discriminatory to hold anyone back from achieving their dreams and being unique.”

Harvard Psychologist Says This Surprising Trait Can Make You More Successful

While researching her new book, "Presence," Harvard Business School professor Amy Cuddy interviewed a number of venture capitalists about what personal qualities successful entrepreneurs demonstrate. Perhaps the most striking observation she collected was this: "I don't mind if they're a little bit nervous; they're doing something big, something that matters to them, so it makes sense they'd be a little bit nervous." In the book, Cuddy outlines two key reasons why...

Earth, Wind & Fire Founder, Maurice White, Dies At 74

 Earth, Wind & Fire founder Maurice White, whose horn-driven band sold more than 90 million albums and made hits like “September,” “Shining Star” and “Boogie Wonderland,” died Wednesday at his home in Los Angeles, his brother Verdine said. White, who was 74, suffered from Parkinson’s Disease and had retreated from the...

See This Puzzle That Children Solve Instantly But Adults Find It Hard

A simple logic puzzle can bamboozle a lot of adults - but 80% of children can solve it near-instantly, National Geographic has said. The puzzle is this - which way is the bus going? The identical windows at each end of the bus seem to offer no clue as to...

Nicki Minaj Teases Miley Cyrus & Kylie Jenner In Her New Remix

It's been more than five months since the VMAs and Nicki Minaj's now-iconic "Miley what's good," but the incident is still fresh enough in her mind to make it into a new remix of Yo Gotti's "Down in the DM." In her verse, she mentions Miley, Kylie Jenner, and Bill O'Reilly all in the span of three lines, because that's how a master works. First, Kylie, in a line that compares her famous lips to Nicki's,...

See What This VAGINAL WEIGHT LIFTER Does To Prove That Vaginas Are Strong, Claims It Enhances Multiple Orgasms

Kim Anami is a 44-year-old intimacy coach and vaginal weight lifter who claims she can lift up to 10 pounds with nothing but her genital muscles and can have up to 20 orgasms in a row. She just ties a thin piece of string to a jade egg (which in Chinese medicine is thought to have healing reproductive properties), inserts the egg into her vagina, and then she's got an extra set of ... something that can carry anything from...

Osinbajo Takes Over As Acting President As Buhari Begins Short Vacation

President Mohammadu Buhari has begun a short vacation today. A statement by Special Adviser to Buhari on Media and Publicity, Femi Adesina, says that while Buhari is away, the Vice President, Prof. Yemi Osinbajo will perform the functions of the President. The statement added that in compliance with Section 145 (1) of the Nigerian Constitution, President Buhari has dispatched a formal notice of his vacation to the Senate President and the Speaker of the House of Representatives.

See How Much Buhari Saved Using TSA

President Buhari says he has so far saved 2.2 trillion Naira using the Treasury Single Account (TSA). The President gave the revelation while interacting with a cross section of the Nigerian community in the United Kingdom on the side-line of the Supporting Syria Conference in London. He berated the past administration for operating several accounts with which they siphoned money belonging to Nigerians vowing not to relent in the fight against corruption. President Buhari...

Nigeria-China Trade Volume Exceeds $13 Billion In 2015- Envoy

The Chinese Ambassador to Nigeria, Gu Xiaojie, said this at a reception to mark 45 years of diplomatic relations between both countries in Abuja on Thursday night. Mr. Xiaojie explained that both countries had strengthened bilateral relations since 1971. “China and Nigeria have enjoyed longstanding friendly exchanges 45 years ago on February 10, 1971 since the two countries established diplomatic relations. “In 1971, the bilateral trade volume was only $10 million, nowadays the bilateral...