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SANCTUARY OF FOOLS

SANCTUARY OF FOOLS

by: Jonah Ayodele Obajeun

 

With gallivanting bravery, I welcome you to this sanctuary of fools. If you are still living in the shadow of ‘transformation’, if you have been powering yourself in the past months with generator, if sobriety defines your mood whenever the murder of SURE  comes to your mind, if you were part of history during the #OccupyNigeria movement, if your adrenalin responds to the music of bomb too often , if you are marveled at the rate at which official corruption is gnawing greedily into the heart of government, if potholes have killed people you know or you have heard or seen people killed by potholes, if you have had a share of our regressing educational system, if you initially believed in the Otuoke son or never believed in him, if you have been treated to irascible presidential slips, and if you are angry at our lost comrades to the ‘great’ party, then you are a certified member of this sanctuary. Surprised or enraged? Just follow me. Something is terribly wrong with us; we forget political sins too easily. My mission is to quickly beat the gong of reminder, to quickly remind you before you are suddenly out of memory, about how and when the handshake went beyond the elbow, for the wind has blown open our anus!

 

For in its parlance, in the lexicon of the largest political umbrella in Africa, in its griming face of despotism, in its punctured ideology, in its unwholesome parody, Nigerians are a people that can easefully be doctored to swing towards desolation and left at liberty to ceaselessly cry foul of want, scarcity and life’s necessities. Because we are a people blessed with the gene of forgetfulness, with the memory of a goat, because we laugh in agony, because we often fall prey of pretence, because our life gives gullibility its real meaning, because we often console ourselves with prayers, because we don’t always show interest in the way we are being governed, because we have phobia for asking questions, because everybody wants to lead, because the ‘national cake’ is too ‘sweet’ for us to be allergic to, and because we often rush to name our price for votes, we have committed our lives to the hands that know how to acquire the appurtenances and fripperies of political power, but quiet ignoble, they don’t understand how to use it. This is why my gong is making so much noise, to quickly remind you before you are suddenly out of memory, about how and when the handshake went beyond the elbow, for the wind has blown open our anus!

 

To the ruling party, angry Nigerians are fools. Again, let me re-echo it, the ruling party had said you are a fool! Unsurprisingly, the ruling class has predicted it, arguing that in spite of the woes it has entrusted on Nigerians – custodians of votes, it will still be calling the shot for the next 50 years. The rulers know, they know we have short memories. They know our memories vapourise with peanuts, they know we are incapable of asking them questions. They know, they know that all they need is to throw yards of Ankara at us, to call us into a room and give us N5000 each, to give us bags of rice and share amidst heavy fights, to make jingles of lies and deceits in the media, to build megacities in the media and signposts, to show to us that they are humble for our votes. They know, I mean they know, they know that we forget things easily and we will give them our votes in 2015. I am beating the gong of reminder now, to quickly remind you before you are suddenly out of memory, about how and when the handshake went beyond the elbow, for the wind has blown open our anus!

 

From the demigod of Owu to the Insular of Katsina, then to the divisionist Otuoke son, Nigerians have escaped from the mouth of a deadly python to the land in-between the infernal teeth of a ferocious lion. The ruling party’s house of clay has come down on us, we are in trouble! Our oppressors criminally mutilated Uwais Electoral Paper. They snuffed life out of the report and threw the lifeless body to us. See, I won’t allow you to forget these sins; otherwise you will remain a fool forever! They have been standing on the abomasums of free and fair election since 1999 and they have promised not to soft-pedal on their bicycles of electoral shenanigans for the next 50 years. They have formed the panoply of human animals masquerading as servants of Nigerians. They have invoked the satiric irony enmeshed in Chinua Achebe’s A Man of the People. We have for long been treated to unabashedly anti-cerebral policies that are products of intellectual kwashiorkor. They have done nothing to bless the educational sector and enrich our brain, rather, they are now gyrating to a new song, ‘removing subsidy from education’. They least, quite sadly, understand that the brain is the engine room of the body and that any attempt to deliver man from suffering must begin with his brain through education. See, I need to beat the gong of reminder louder, to quickly remind you before you are suddenly out of memory, about how and when the handshake went beyond the elbow, for the wind has blown open our anus!

 

For all these national servants have taken sips from the messy pool of world-weary wisdom of the Ota idol, whom the country endures most inconveniently, we may be in for long term cries of corruption if our memory keeps failing us. Put differently, these goons, unfaithful to the distinguishing features of their generations, have laboriously concocted the ubiquitous marriage between public office and self aggrandizement, a reality that is evidently attested to by the avalanche of corruption cases in the cabinet files of the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC). What this means is that any mind hankering sincerely for some remarkable events in the recorded history of Nigeria can confidently do so by accessing its public office corruption cases – great happenings are therein immortalized in files! Ask EFCC! These soulless bird-fellows of the same strange feathers have foisted on us a political culture of corruption through civil despotism moderated by silly waivers, waste, jumbo pay, expensive budget, subsidy removal, and the monstrous protection of oil cabals. Before you are suddenly out of memory, I need to make noise with the gong, to quickly remind you how and when the handshake went beyond the elbow, for the wind has blown open our anus!

 

In case you are out of memory, please delete some files in order to save these sins. We shall take the toll of the sins of their fathers on them. We shall disobey the holy books for a while, for we shall not forget nor forgive until 2015. These sins are too telling to overlook. We shall throw them out with our votes; even our lost comrades who are currently feasting on the national cake shall get their share. We shall rise with a unanimous voice, moving with a common purpose, grouping and regrouping and advancing with panache. So you must choose where you belong, either with them or with us. If you are with them, just like some of us have done, be ready to wallow in defeat as their train shall go down the freeway to the valley below, for we shall bring down this house of clay in 2015. The pillars of deceits shall crumble right before their nose in 2015. Thereafter we shall rescue them from the rubbles, wash them off the stains of their sins, reform them and bring them back into the fold except for those who have rotten beyond recovery. Then we shall obey the holy books, we shall forgive and then forget. But for now, give space in your memory in order for you to know when the handshake went beyond the elbow, for the wind has blown open our anus! Please don’t forget, I am beating the gong of reminder!

 

 

Jonah Ayodele Obajeun;

Blogs @www.obajeun.com;

Twitter: @obajeun

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Omojuwa

In the beginning...Let there be Light http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Japheth_J._Omojuwa

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