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AN ALIEN INVASION: NAIJA STYLE (HILARIOUS) #SuperBloggers by @mnena

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AN ALIEN INVASION: NAIJA STYLE

Whilst watching the first ever episode of the Justice League;where aliens bent on taking over the world landed in Yankeeand predominantly American superheroes (Superman and his crew) saved the day and the world once again, I wondered why 95% of the time, in films/cartoons, aliens always land in the States first. I figured that since it was Americans telling these stories then yah they’d tell it from their own perspective, their familiar environmentWhat if Nigerians told the story though, what if aliens landed first in Nigeria and it was up to us to save the world, what would our story be like?

Since superheroes don’t actually exist I’ll limit our fight backto what our leaders and everyday man would do. I could compare our reactions to those in the movie Independence Day, where Will Smith, Jeff Goldblum and Bill Pullmansaved the day with just good old fashion Brains and Brawn.

First of all the invasion would happen without warning or any inkling whatsoeverWe‘d have no scientists or a hobbyist gazing out into space wondering what was out there and inadvertently catching some signal or whatever talk less of deciphering it. We’d also have no ‘crazy’ guy warning us about the aliens as he would have had casting performed on him once the crayze started sincceee.

They’d be no gridlock trying to get out of Abuja because 3/4ths of the population will be in Churches and Mosques praying for salvation as the end times had finally come. Cast your mind back to New Year’s Eve 1999

They’d be no news about the Alien Invasion on local TV asNTA will be showing the Argungun festival live. No breaking news, no nothing. The population not in churches or mosques will get their news from international sources such as CNN and Aljazeera as it’s “the party don’t stop” on NTA.

With the PDP camp decrying the attack as an attempt to discredit the president, Nigerians will keep waiting for a word from said President. With no official word, Nigerian Twitter news will fill the vacuum left. We will hear unconfirmed rumours about another attack at the city gates which will turn out to be an exploding NEPA pole. Tweets from all over with the false covering the truth.

So the aliens finally decide to stop fronting that they are friendly and destroy Aso Rock, with Mr President escaping unscathed because his first instinct was to run and he took it.  When word comes at last Mr President will speak from the Nigerian embassy in England (because technically it is Nigerian soil) as the Aliens begin to round us up.

In conclusion if Nigeria is Ground Zero, Earth is screwed. Atrue Disaster movie. We might as well hope on KaptainAfrika.

TWITTER: @mnena


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Omojuwa

In the beginning...Let there be Light http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Japheth_J._Omojuwa

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