Kenya’s political arena is pretty curious a theater, it is an arena in
whose all players are animals, a circus with very many wild animals
without human handlers. The big jumbo takes a crap on the entrance to
the circus, the monkeys snatch biscuits and bananas from the little
children making them scream, Mr. Lion is sitting in a corner he gets
bored wakes up ‘susuus’ “(urinates) on his tail and sprays everybody
in the arena with caustic urine. The delirium ends before it even
However, the in the disorder that reigns in the whole arena the fact
that the conductors to this crazy circus are two tiny mice one black,
the other white and a cat. My community’s elders tell me that a garden
mouse produces a sound akin to an elephants trumpet. Somehow the
chirps of this two mice brings some semblance of order. Other white
queue behind the white mouse and black mice queue behind the black
mouse (because i do not want to use Raila’s allegory of a mice, a bell
and a cat i will use my own.)
The files of mice are on their way to a grandma’s granary, they both
smell a cat or he whitish cat on the way. An argument ensues
Black mice: You should not have come he will see you, you are white remember.
White mice: Are you deluded, you should not have come you are black,
remember, you stink too.
An acrimous shouting ensues between the white mice and the the black
mice which inevitably wakes up the cat, he is blind too. He wakes,
stretches smells a rat and runs like a commot sleep. The mice are
baffled, What? they ask in unison.
A hidden fact to the mice though is that the cat a vegetarian, a
strict vegan who does would not stomach the smell of mice meat. To him
mice meat reeks like an open sewer, in fact it makes him stomach
bloat, he is more at home chewing grass than running after mice.
Before i stray from an otherwise boring story, we Kenyans surely do
not need two blind mice; Uhuru and Ruto and a cat Raila that does meat
to lead us. For i am certain that we being the resourceful people we
are will figure out how to live with one another in this jungle, what
a peaceful jungle it is without mice and cats.
What a beautiful country we would have if we did not have a senile cat
to lead us, oh what a country we would have if a Dutch mousetrap would
catch the mice for us.
Alex Njeru the writer is on twitter @unbridledfreedm
Follow this blog on twitter @omojuwa