At the height of my years of relationships’ skepticism, I eventually came up with valid theories on relationships. Mind you, these were not formulated off hand, they have their roots in the experience of people I know and relationships I witnessed first hand. Of all the theories, the one I have tested and come to believe is The Stopgap Theory.
I shared a room with David in my first year at the university. A year ahead of me, David was in a serious relationship with glowingly beautiful Rose. They were inseparable. By my second year, I had moved to my own place. I still caught up with the love birds whenever I had the means to take my most regular girl friend out. David confided in me he wanted to marry Rose. I thought he stood no chance. Yes, he had the looks and the means but she was not just beautiful, she was bound to finish uni. a year before David as he was taking a 5 year course and Rose 4. I found it a bit hard to imagine Rose out there in the wild wicked world and her beauty for attention, she was bound to get taken.
I didn’t have to worry much, the next time I got to have a long chat with David, my fears about Rose getting hooked by another man after her graduation was now unfounded. She was caught while at school! David was here asking me if he should attend Rose’s wedding. Rose was still in her final year at this time. I asked which of the Roses and he looked at me like “is this guy ok?”. He told me point blank he was referring to “his” Rose. I asked a sincere question. “Is the bridegroom meant to confirm whether or not he should be at his bride’s wedding?”. That wasn’t funny as I saw that David was holding back tears. He did not cry yeah, but inside him was a soul in tears.
When he narrated the story, he concluded with my thoughts. Rose had found a richer man. She would rather settle down with a man whose future had been decided with his kinda wealth than with a school boy.
Then I said to David, so you were like a stopgap? She was using you like if her dream guy comes she’d leave you sharp sharp, if she doesn’t find him, she’d make do with you. Her prayers were answered quick enough and here you are feeling like a loser.
Well, I told him it was a win-win situation. She never wanted him all along and now she’s gone. Would you marry a man or woman if you know deep down your heart that that person would rather be with someone else?
This laid the foundation for my thoughts on The SGT. The Stopgap Theory. By now though, there was yet no definition in place until just a year later.
PS: From my stats, a lot of you are reading these blogs and I am thankful for that. You’d do well to share your thoughts though. Unlike serious articles, I want to know people’s thoughts on these ones. Cheers till tomorrow God willing.
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