“think you gotta keep me iced
You don’t
think I’m gonna spend your cash
I won’t
Even if you were broke
My love don’t cost a thing
Think I wanna drive your Benz
I don’t
Think I wanna floss I got my own
Even if you were broke. My love don’t cost a thing…”
That if you remember is Jlo’s chorus on her post P.Diddy relationship hit “Love don’t cost a thing”. It sounds true and agreeable to the sense but I beg to differ. When you claim that your love does not cost a thing, it means it would be very much possible for you to fall in love with a mad man… God forbid? I thought as much! Remember even Sean Combs even said “Baby girl,I’ll trade it all…everything”. Love is a trade peeps.
The reason she sang the song is not because her love does not actually cost a thing, it is simply because the values of adoration and care Sean ‘P-Diddy’ Combs offered her at the beginning of their relationship, got lost as Diddy forgot about his initial value proposition and chose to replace it with money – something Jlo would care less about for obvious reasons. She had conquered that level of her pyramidal needs. She was at the level of love and affection. Her love did cost something but that thing had nothing to do with the material or physical.
Some of my positions on issues appear controversial but you only need to let go of your prejudice to see the truth behind some of these claims. To say you just love someone with no strings attached, is to say you could leave the person at any point in time even if you were attached to a string. Whether it is material or immaterial, tangible or intangible, seen or unseen, we all love because that which we love has a value for which we can trade our value to say “I love you and would be pleased to share my value with you if you love me too”.
Here I am not talking about right or wrong, neither is it about morality or immorality. I am talking about what is. Love is nothing less than a trade and people do not fall into it – you don’t fall into a trade except it is a fraud like 419. When you agree to love or date someone, it is an agreement that is taken with the consciousness of the fact that, that person has a value for which you would be please to derive some value. I love her beautiful, tall and intelligent. It means, if she possesses all of that and is willing to accept my own status of rich, handsome and influential, then we can strike a deal.
What annoys you about all of these is because I make it look like some kind of business. I am sorry to make it look like one, because it is one. The whole process of meeting accidentally and eventually meeting intentionally is nothing short of soliciting. You engage in as many discussions as it would take for both of you to strike the deal or go your different ways. What makes this different from the conventional soliciting i.e. paying prostitutes to sleep with them is that this has as much to do with the virtual as it does with the physical. With the prostitute, you solicit for physical satisfaction, while with your Lover what you get is all that comes with loving and being loved. Most of which are abstract and invaluable.
What happens if the person loses the unique selling points (USPs)that endeared you to him? The question is what aspect of the USPs? If what he offered you and the reason you loved him was money and he suddenly finds himself poor, what do you do? If during all of the time you were with him, he still could not offer anything beyond money, then even he would be resigned to losing you if he loses his money.
As a gentleman or lady, you have the choice of offering more than the common and something you’d always have and improve upon. The more the values you offer, the better your chances of staying in love. It is possible for both parties to lose consciousness of the real things that got them together, but it is impossible for them to stop experiencing the USPs and not have issues. That you can not place your hand on why you love him/her is not bad, but it becomes clearer when that charm gets lost because then you can point out his/her lack of it.
Love is not blind. It never was and will never be. It could close its eyes to certain faults but that should not be an excuse to false Love’s ability to see. It sees far more than hatred because hatred is narrow-like and prejudiced. Love sees clearly but even cherishes you more dearly because it focuses on what makes you her hero rather than what makes you a villain. No one is perfect, no one can be but some imperfections are tolerable while some could be the difference between life and death. Love does cost a lot more than a thing. Just learn to decide the value of your love and decide what you’d exchange for it.
My Love is priceless, but I’ll love you only if you value me as much.
@omojuwa
